Chapter 8: April

April 3rd

I don't think Mr. Ely really need my help this time. The shop's not busy like it was over the Christmas holidays. It's really very quiet. Mostly I just clean up and take care of the sick and baby owls. Eelops has never been so clean and the owls so happy. Mr. Ely said how good I am with the owls over and over again. He taught me some new healing spells for the birds and I even taught him one! That was great. He said I deserved an extra galleon in my pay for that. I felt so smart!

I saw Professor Lupin again. At first I thought there was something wrong with him, and to be honest I still do. He came in at closing time and when he shrugged off his cloak he was holding his arms out like he was carrying something, but he wasn't, but he was. What I mean is that he was carrying something that was invisible and that something was two owls. Mr. Ely locked the door of the shop and turned the sign to say that we were closed. He rushed Professor Lupin into the back and told me to go upstairs. He didn't say it nice like he usually does. He said it like he really meant business.

I knew that the invisible things that Professor Lupin was carrying were owls because I'm smart and can figure things out. The next day when I went down to work there were two brand new owls and they were very sick. Mr. Ely was in a very bad mood and was saying some not so nice things about Professor Lupin. He was saying things like "When I say no magic, I mean no magic." and something about Professor Lupin being in a hurry and "These things can't be rushed."

Anyway, it was a very interesting day because Mrs. Ely took care of the customers and Mr. Ely had to do some very important work in the back room, so it was my job to take care of the sick owls. Mr. Ely said I was not allowed to use my wand or any spells. I had to take care of them with special potions and just extra special care. When I saw the owls knew why Mr. Ely was mad at Professor Lupin. The owls were sick like someone hexed them bad. Why would Professor Lupin hex owls? He seemed like such a nice man at school and he is a friend of Harry's. Harry should know that Professor Lupin is strange so he can look out for him.

Mr. Ely got angry with me when I saw him doing his secret work. I had a question about one of the owls and I opened the door to the backest back room and Mr. Ely called me a foolish girl and told me to get out and close the door behind me. He sounded a lot like Professor Snape, which is interesting because he was making a potion.

That night was very sad. One of the invisible owls that Professor Lupin brought back died. Professor Lupin came to the store the next day and Mr. Ely was very cross with him. He talked to him in the back room but I could hear most of what they said because Mr. Ely was having trouble keeping his voice down. He told Professor Lupin that after these two there would be no more owls. He told him one disillusionment charm and then no more magic. Professor Lupin kept apologizing and saying that it was an accident but Mr. Ely didn't care. Mr. Ely said something else that I didn't quite hear and Professor Lupin walked out with a reddish angry face, but he also walked out with two more owls.

Later that night, me and my friends talked. We're very worried that Professor Lupin could be a danger to Harry. Annie said again that she wanted to sneak into the backest back room to see what Mr. Ely's secret is, but Bella said that we shouldn't because that would be wrong. Annie had a tremendous wobbler when Bella said no and told me, and Mary and Suzy that we had to decide who the Best New Friend really was, and that it had better be her because she's the only one who knows what Professor Snape and Hermione are really like and she can protect Harry. She said that Bella is a coward and that Harry would be better off if she would just go away.

Severus had no time for the squabbling of imaginary girls. He was interested in the potion. He was so close to an answer he could taste it.

Potion…invisible owls…hellebore…one charm only…

Severus chanted the clues over and over again in his mind, changing their order, hoping that something would trip a memory. He was certain that he had all of the pieces of the puzzle. If he could just fit them together he would have his answer.

One charm only…invisible…potion…hellebore…

INVISIBILITY POTION … HELLEBORE!

Severus rushed to his laboratory and stood before a cabinet of various sized cauldrons. On the third highest shelf, out of the easy reach of the younger students, was a small pewter cauldron with a scorched bottom. He slid the unobtrusive little cauldron to the side and the cabinet swung silently inward.

Severus stepped into the small windowless antechamber. The Aurors hadn't been here, that much was certain. If they'd discovered this room he would have been sent to Azkaban immediately, facing much more than murder charges. This was his private library, filled with recipes for potions that could enslave the mind and agonize the senses. Long forgotten brews, outlawed centuries ago because they were too horrible or unpredictable, were meticulously archived here. He walked over to a section of particularly ancient texts and ran a long finger along the spines of the books.

Immortality… Insanity…Invisibility!

Severus poured over the invisibility potion's ingredients and, as expected, found that hellebore was a principle component. Powdered hellebore specifically. His well-ordered mind clicked though the properties of the herb. Thought to be poisonous and a purgative, only legal use is as a component of the Draught of Peace, systemic effect…

Fascinating

The potion itself was not difficult to brew, he discovered as he read on. Indeed, any competent fifth year should have no trouble with it. Administering the potion wasn't even particularly complicated. The brewing process yielded a white, tasteless powder that could be dissolved in any liquid -- four drams per stone of body weight. No, what made this potion fascinating was that it was a catalyst. Once taken, the potion lay dormant in the recipient's system until activated by a basic disillusionment charm. Child's play. A simple potion and a simple charm combined to render a person absolutely invisible.

A very useful potion one would think. Why is it illegal? And why isn't it used by people who care little for legalities?

Severus raised an eyebrow when he came to the section of the text that discussed the antidote to the potion. There was none -- none save time. Once activated, the minor ingredients of the potion were quickly metabolized and the effects would begin to fade within two to three hours, depending on body chemistry, leaving only the hellebore, which metabolized much more slowly.

So that's why the owls could only be used for local communications.

Severus set the book back in its place and returned to his chambers. He had learned all he could from it and it wouldn't do to have Tonks or Lupin discover his private library. He sat heavily at his desk and carefully considered the facts before him. When one's life hung in the balance it was wise not to jump to conclusions.

Miss Tilly was killed when I cast a simple Petrificus Totalus

The autopsy showed that Miss Tilly had hellebore in her system at the time of her death.

Hellebore is an ingredient in the draft of peace and an illegal invisibility potion.

Miss Tilly was in the act of committing murder. Draft of Peace unlikely.

Miss Tilly likely had access to the aforementioned invisibility potion at her place of employment.

Lupin killed an owl that had ingested the same potion.

Lupin is skilled in the handling of animals and would never intentionally harm one.

I don't know how Lupin killed the owl, or why Miss Tilly would want to be invisible.

"Where is that bloody werewolf?" Severus growled out in frustration. The solution was within his grasp, all he needed was one simple bit of information for Lupin. But Lupin was nowhere to be found. He strode over to the hearth to fire call the wand shop. Ollivander would know where to find him.

I Fuck! No floo powder. /I

Severus paced the room like a caged animal, cursing the limitations placed on him, but only for a moment. As his time grew short he found himself loath to waste a moment of it. Lupin would show or he wouldn't; there was nothing to be done for it. Rather than curse what he lacked, he turned his attention to the resource at hand.

April 15th

There's something wrong with Bella. She just sits and stares and never talks. Something terrible has happened to her and I don't know what to do. Annie says that no one can help Bella and that we have to concentrate on helping Harry. I know she's right, but I still miss Bella.

Severus stared at the page for a full minute. Bella, the sane one, the voice of reason, was silent. How? Why? Filled with a strange sense of foreboding, he continued to read.

April 20th

Hermione Granger is crazy. Not just a little bit crazy either. She's totally, around the bend insane. I know this because I watch her and I know things about her that no one else does. Not even Harry. I've been watching her since school started again to make sure she doesn't tell any more of Harry's secrets. She's easy to watch because she only eats and studies and nags Harry and Ron to study. At first I watched her everywhere except for private potions with Professor Snape. She goes there every night after supper, but she doesn't do potions. She tells Professor Snape Harry's secrets. She tells that sneaky Slytherin Harry's secrets because she's his girlfriend.

Harry doesn't know that Hermione Granger is Professor Snape's girlfriend. If he did, he wouldn't tell her any secrets. Annie said that we were running out of time to get proof to show Harry. Once school is over we won't be able to watch Granger anymore. She said that we need to start watching her during private potions. Mary, Suzy and I thought that she'd gone mad. How were we going to sneak into the dungeons and not get caught? Then she told us that she had a secret way to make us invisible.

Last night after dinner, I went to the owlery as usual and Annie told me to cast a disillusionment charm on myself and when I did I was INVISIBLE. Totally INVISIBLE! I wanted to go everywhere in the school and see what people did when no one was looking, but Annie told me to pay attention. She said that I needed to be outside Professor Snape's door before Granger got there so I could sneak in when she went in. She told me that I would only be invisible for three hours so I had to be back in the owlery before the potion wore off. She said potion and that confused me because I used a spell. She told me to stop asking questions and get moving.

My heart was beating out of my chest when I was standing outside of Professor Snape's door waiting for Granger. I couldn't believe that she couldn't hear it when she finally showed up. She said his password -- Joseph -- and put her hand on the door. The door swung open and I sneaked in behind her.

She didn't go to his room right away. She took off her outer robes and her shoes and socks and put them in her book bag. She wasn't wearing her school uniform under her robes, she was wearing Hogsmeade clothes. I hurried up to get by the doors of Professor Snape's rooms before she got there so I could sneak in there too.

Nothing happened at first. Professor Snape kissed her hello and they drank tea and talked in front of the fire. I didn't understand a lot of what they are saying but I listened real hard to see if Harry's name came up. It didn't. I was starting to get really bored and wishing she would just leave already, and then she got up and I was relieved. But she didn't leave. She went over and sat on his lap.

They kissed and kissed and kissed with open mouths and tongues, and then Professor Snape put his hand under her blouse and started rubbing her breasts. Granger didn't smack him or anything. She just made these weird whimpering sounds and was saying "Oh, Severus!" I thought I was going to puke. And then it got even worse. They started pulling each others clothes off and before I knew it, Granger was naked and Professor Snape only had his trousers on. I wanted to leave right then and there but I was stuck there until someone opened the door. That's when I saw what a disgusting girl Hermione Granger is.

After she was naked, Granger sat in the chair and put her knees over the arms so her legs were wide open and Professor Snape could see her privates. He was kneeling in the floor in front of her and kissing her breasts and then her stomach. Then she put her hands on his greasy head and pushed it down so his face was in her privates. Then that horrible horrible girl let A PROFESSOR kiss her on all of her dirty places and she liked it. She was squirming and making strange noises, and then he put his fingers in her and she started to scream. I thought he was hurting her and I wasn't sure if that was such a bad thing, but then I saw that she was saying things like "right there" and "don't stop". She shook and cried a lot and then she was all out of breath.

It was really awful, but then it got even more awful. When Granger was sitting there being all red faced and out of breath, Professor Snape took off his trousers and pants and I got to see his boy parts. He was all hairy and skinny and his boy thing was red and veiny. I think it was odd too. It stuck straight up, not out like I expected. He looked at Hermione like a big perv and tugged on it a few times. When he rubbed it, he pulled the skin down at the top and it was all red and shiny underneath.

He told Hermione to stand up, and when she did he made her bend over the arm of the chair. He moved behind her and stuck his boy thing into her. His bottom was all white and it shook like jelly when he stuck his thing in her over and over again. The more he stuck it into her the more she squealed, and he got this stupid look on his face with his eyes closed and his mouth open. He kept making grunting noises. Then he started making noises like he was being strangled and going up on his toes. Then he made this long moaning kind of noise and jerked a few times. I think he squirted into her. The were both still and quiet for a while and then he helped her up and then kissed her on the lips with the same mouth that he used to lick her dirty parts. I was afraid I was going to vomit right on the floor.

Daddy warned me about dirty old men when I started my monthly. He said I wouldn't need to worry about boys my own age, but that there were pervy men who liked to do dirty deeds with school girls and that they didn't care what they looked like. He said that they picked the plain girls because the pretty girls would laugh at them. Maybe that's why Professor Snape picked Granger -- because she's plain and all the pretty girls would laugh at him if he tried to lick them on their dirty parts and stick his boy thing in them. But Granger didn't laugh, she liked it. Maybe she's what daddy calls a loose woman, or maybe she just didn't have a daddy that loved her enough to tell her about the dirty old men.

Severus sat silently, bile rising in his throat as he stared at the rounded, juvenile handwriting on the page. He remembered every detail of the evening she recorded in her journal. The events were precisely as she described, and yet he remembered them so differently. Things changed between him and Hermione after he encouraged her to let go of her shame and gave her pleasure for the first time. She began to enjoy her body, and his. All of the curiosity and enthusiasm she displayed in the classroom, she brought to the bedroom. She bloomed before his eyes and it was the most beautiful transformation he'd ever seen.

It transformed him as well. When Hermione came to him, her eyes bright with desire, Snivellus ceased to exist. For the first time in his life, the popular, smart girl wanted him. He was the handsome one, the confident lover, the charming one. He was everything that bastard Black was, and more -- until a mousy girl, scribbling in her journal turn his world upside down, exposing his dirty secrets and shaming him.

"I hope you burn in Hades, you evil bitch!" Severus leapt to his feet and shouted in a blind rage. Miss Tilly had taken the only thing that was pure and joyful in his life and made it lewd and filthy. But he could fix that, even if it meant spending the rest of his life in Azkaban. He drew his wand and hurled a burning hex at the book, and nothing happened. His wand, once powerful, was nothing more than a useless stick in his hands. His humiliation was complete.