Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them.

A/N: Thanks to Cybrokat for the Beta. Thanks to the "Stick Crew" for letting me bounce ideas off of them. And thanks to FishTank-36, Ambient Flames, ToMyGrave, Butterfly-of-Darkness, csishewolf, GracefulBee, Jenn Sidle, gabesaunt, LostNovember, Sassy, Jill Hamilton, Grits, christingirl177,and willowaus for reviewing last chapter. All the holes will be filled in as the story moves on.

Chapter Two: The Aftermath

Sara sat sideways on Grissom's couch, her feet resting in Grissom's lap. "What?" Sara asked without looking up from her Forensic Journal. Grissom was just looking at her, watching her. He had been doing that ever since Sara woke up in the hospital and she just didn't understand why.

"Just thinking. About you." Grissom rubbed Sara's leg. "Sara, honey, you know you can talk to me about anything." Grissom lifted Sara's legs and scooted closer to Sara. "Sara, look, when you lose someone close to you…"

"Stop! Just stop it okay." Sara was just so tired of people telling how she should feel. "When you kill your best friend, then you can tell me how I should feel. Until then, just stay out of it." Sara moved her feet off of Grissom's lap. She saw Grissom getting ready to say something. "I'm tired, I think I'll go lay down." Sara bent down and grabbed her crutches and went to stand up. "I can do it myself." Sara pushed Grissom's arm away, got up and went to the bedroom.

Grissom climbed in bed facing Sara. "Hey." Grissom touched Sara's face. "I know you are awake. Please Sara, just talk to me." Grissom didn't know what to do. If Sara would just cry or get mad or yell and scream, he could handle that. But this complete shut down just pained him. He didn't know how to help her. And the feeling of helplessness hurt; because he could only imagine what Sara was feeling. So lost and hurt, scared to open up to anyone. He leaned in and kissed her cheek and as he pulled back Sara's eyes opened. "Sara, baby." Grissom looked in Sara's eyes. "Do you want me to leave you alone so you can sleep?"

"No, can you..." Sara started to suck on her bottom lip. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Will you hold me for…" Sara didn't need to finish what she was going to say. "Thank you." Sara snuggled deeper into Grissom's neck. "This keeps the nightmares away." Sara pulled away a bit and looked Grissom in the eyes. "I'm sorry I snapped at you." Sara closed her eyes as Grissom ran his thumb down her cheek. Sara pulled Grissom into a kiss. Sara slid herself under Grissom as their kiss intensified. "Gil please, make love to me."

Grissom pulled away from Sara. "Sara honey, I don't think you are ready for that. And I don't want to take advantage of you." Grissom grabbed Sara's hand and kissed the back of it.

"You blame me too don't you? Just like the others do." Sara looked in Grissom's eyes. "I know what Lady Macbeth was feeling in Macbeth." Sara looked down. "I can't get Greg's blood off me."

Grissom didn't think his heart could break anymore until her heard Sara ask him if he blamed her for Greg's death. "Sara, I could never blame you." Grissom laid on his back pulling Sara so her head rested on his shoulder. "The others don't blame you either." Grissom hoped he was right anyway. He didn't understand how they could blame her. They knew it was the other driver who was at fault. "Sara, what makes you think they blame you?"

"Warrick, Nick, and Catherine just said something that's all." Sara snuggled into Grissom and started to drift off to sleep. "Hold me, please Gris. Just hold me." She held tight onto Grissom as she feel asleep.

Sara watched Grissom put his tie on. Today was the day they were saying goodbye to Greg. Her eyes moved to the mirror. She just sat and stared at her reflection. Her long black dress almost covered her cast that was on her leg. She picked up the black shawl and slipped it on.

Grissom sat on the bed next to her and held her hand. "You can do this." He kissed the side of her head. He stood up and put on his jacket and a piece of paper fell from his jacket. He picked it up and looked at it, then tucked it into his jacket. "My eulogy." He looked over at Sara who still had her head hung. He went and knelt down in front of her. "Sara, are you sure you don't want to speak?" He reached out and tucked a strain of hair behind her ear. "Sara?" He handed her the crutches. "It's time to go honey." He wrapped his arms around Sara.

When Sara got to the kitchen she stopped. "I think…" She just made it to the sink when she got sick. Grissom walked over to her and held her hair back. She reached for the towel, but Grissom had already grabbed it and wiped her mouth. "Thanks." She looked at him and nodded her head. "We'll be late." She watched the road as they drove to their destination. "How's his mom holding up?" She closed her eyes as they neared the intersection where it happened. She felt his hand touch hers and she opened her eyes and they were past it. "Is she doing okay?" She turned to him and he shook his head. "Oh." She turned back to the road. When they pulled up to the church she saw the lot full of cars. "He touched a lot of people's lives, didn't he?" She turned to him and closed her eyes as she shook her head. "I'm so sorry."

Grissom pulled Sara into his arms. "Stop saying you are sorry. Sara, please. It wasn't your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself." He didn't know how much more his heart could take. He just wanted Sara to cry. He knew that if she would she would feel so much better. "Hey come on," he said as he patted her back. "Let's go in." He got out and went and helped Sara out.

"Gil, Sara." Ecklie said as he and Brass walked up to them. "Gil do you have a minute?" He looked and Brass and then to Sara. "Jim will help Sara inside." He watched and Brass led Sara away. He then turned back to Grissom. "How is she doing?"

Grissom shook his head, "I don't know Conrad." He watched Sara disappear into the church. "She's lost. She blames herself. She can't seem to cry. She's wont allow herself to feel anything but shame and guilt." He looked at Ecklie, "She needs all of our support. But right now I need to be in there with her."

Brass helped Sara to the front of the church where the rest of the crime lab was. Brass pointed to the casket where a few crying people were standing "Do you want to go up?" He watched her shake her head no. "Okay." Brass watched as Sara just sat down and put her hands in her lap. "I'm going up, I'll be right back." He walked up smiled sadly down at Greg's body then went and paid his respects to Greg's family.

Grissom came and went to Sara. "Let's go over and pay our respects. I won't make you go to the casket, but come to see his parents." He helped Sara to her up and walked with her to Greg's parents. "Mr. and Mrs. Sanders, I'm Gil Grissom, we met earlier. And this is Sara Sidle." To her surprise, both of his parents engulfed Sara into their arms.

Sara sat in between Grissom and Brass as the last few people took their seats. Sara placed her head against Grissom's. She took a deep breath as the preacher stood up and opened his bible. As the preacher began to speak she squeezed Grissom's hand and one tear drop fell onto her hand.