Cuddy's Choice
Dr. Cuddy was sitting at her desk. Her door was shut, but she could catch a nurse rushing past now and then. Things had gotten so out of hand. The Board meeting was over. Dr. Wilson was gone.
She couldn't help but feel responsible for that. She should have backed him up, but if she had, she would probably be packing her bags too. She needed more time, but that was something Vogler wouldn't allow her. He wanted a decision first thing tomorrow morning. She had to come up with something, and fast.
"Dr. Cuddy," a deep voice interrupted her thoughts. It was the last voice she wanted to hear. He walked in and sat down.
"Mr. Vogler," she replied, acknowledging his presence with the least possible effort.
"Have you decided to accept my deal yet?" There was a certainty in his voice that she did not care for. There was something in his eyes, too, that really bothered her. A sense that no matter how hard she fought, he would squish her like a bug.
"I need a little more time, Mr. Vogler." Vogler had given the hospital $100,000,000. He now wanted Dr. House out, or he would take back the money. She had no intention of accepting his deal, but she had to find a way to convince the board that one doctor was more important to the hospital than all that money.
"The clock is ticking Dr. Cuddy." Vogler left, an evil grin on his round face. She fought the urge to throw her desk clock at him, but she lost the fight. Just as the clock was about to smash through the door, Dr. Wilson swung it open and jumped out of the way.
"Bad day?" he asked, picking up the clock and placing it back on her desk.
"What are you still doing here?" As soon as she said it, she wanted to take it back. She didn't mean it the way it sounded.
"I just finished talking to House." She could tell by his tone, that it hadn't gone well.
"I am so sorry, James." She rarely ever used his first name. "I don't know what I am doing."
"It's OK Lisa. I know how difficult this must be for you right now. If only House had made this one small compromise…But no, that was too much to ask." The anger Wilson felt was coming through.
Cuddy walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of single malt scotch. She poured two glasses and handed one to Dr. Wilson. "I promised him a long time ago that I would protect him. I just don't think I can do it this time." She sat down next to Wilson and took a drink.
"Do you really think he still deserves it?" Wilson took a gulp, trying to bury his bitter disappointment.
"yes. Sometimes I want to throw him off the roof myself, but I owe him."
"You don't owe him anything. You saved his life. "
"Drinking without me!" Both of them jumped at the sound of Dr. House's voice. Neither of them had heard him come in, and both wondered how long he had been there.
Dr. House looked at them carefully. He had interrupted something important. He knew exactly what they were talking about and had jumped in before things got too heavy. He headed over to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink. "Is this a private party, or can anyone join?"
"Would you leave if we said it was?" Wilson snapped.
"No," was House's terse answer.
Wilson made an exaggerated move to look at his watch. "Julie will kill me if I am late again." He took a final swig and walked out. Cuddy quickly emptied what was left of her glass and held it up to House to refill.
After Wilson left, House sat down next to Dr. Cuddy. They sat silently for what seemed like an eternity. House had a lot of things he wanted to say, but he wasn't sure just how to put them. Cuddy looked like she was lost in some deep and terrible thoughts.
Finally House broke the silence. "You don't owe me anything," he said softly.
Cuddy drained her glass again and walked out. She did not want to deal with him right now.
The night was a long one. Lisa Cuddy hadn't been this restless in a long time. There was a time when she would not have hesitated to take $100,000,000 for her hospital. That was before she met Dr. Gregory House. A small smile crossed her face as she thought of him. She shook it off. She had to be sensible. This was no time to let her feelings get in her way.
The hospital was counting on her. She had already made so many plans for that money. A new wing, better equipment, she could hire more staff. There were so many possibilities. Then there was House. He was just one man. Why was she even debating this? The answer was obvious.
The phone rang. She picked it up and said a half conscience "hello." She recognized the voice on the other end immediately.
"Hello, Cuddy," House said in a sing song voice.
"Don't you ever sleep?" She sat up a little in her bed. It had been a long time since she received one of House's late night calls.
"Without you? Never!" He jested. She rolled her eyes in the dark. "I heard about the board meeting," he continued, wishing he could see the look on her face after that last barb.
"And…" She was too tired for this.
"And, how dare you not vote for me to stay!" Although his voice was mocking, she could hear a tinge of pain in it.
"I needed more time." She paused. She felt she needed to say more. "I won't let you down." Oh, she shouldn't have said that. It sounded so pathetic. The great thing about her relationship with House was that they didn't get into all the mushy stuff. They didn't have to talk about their feelings. That was what Cameron was there for.
There was a long silence. She was kicking herself for saying something so stupid. "I am devising a plan," she tried to get back on track.
"Is it a diabolical plan?" House asked. She could almost hear him rubbing his hands together and making a fiendish grin. "Does it involve you in a tight black cat suit and a mask? Stiletto heels digging into Darth Vogler's gut?"
"You wish" she answered, laughing to herself. "It actually involves saving your ass. I don't know why I would do such a thing, but there it is."
"You just can't resist my ass. What are you going to ogle if my ass is taken out of the hospital?"
"I think Foreman's been working out." She was still joking, but he had hit a cord. She couldn't stay in that hospital without him. As much as he drove her nuts at times, she would miss these little exchanges. There was always Wilson. As soon as she thought it, she remembered he was gone.
"Switching to the dark meat, huh?" House chided.
"House," she protested. She knew he was just kidding, in that way he does, but she couldn't help but feel like she should protest. She was a bit like the mother to his spoiled little brat. She had to keep him on the straight and narrow.
"Whatever you do, Cuddy, know that I will never forgive you if I loose my job." She couldn't tell if he was joking or not. "Now, come down here and open the door!"
"What?" She sat up. What was he talking about? The man was certifiable. Just then, she heard her doorbell ring.
Cuddy looked over at the alarm clock. It was just past midnight. What could he possibly want at that hour? Half asleep, she climbed out of bed and put on a robe. It was long and silk, and matched the silk pajamas she wore. If this was a joke, she was going to kill House, but her curiosity had gotten the better of her. She had to find out what he was up to. So she headed downstairs.
She paused when she reached the door. It wasn't too late to turn back. Maybe it was a joke. Knowing House, anything could be on the other side of the door. She saw the shape of a head pressing against the glass. He was trying to look inside. "Are you going to open it," the head spoke, "or do you have that buff Dr. Foreman with you? I thought you penciled me in tonight, but if it is his night, I can come back tomorrow." He was saying this all much too loudly for that hour of night. What were the neighbors going to think?
She undid the safety latch and pulled open the door. The first think she saw was House's devilish grin. He was definitely up to no good. She was having second thoughts about letting him in, but it was too late. He brushed past her, a little closer than was necessary, but she didn't try to step back.
He placed a paper bag on the side table in the living room, and removed his coat, flinging it carelessly on the couch. Cuddy went and moved it to a coat hanger by the door. She liked things just so. He was always making messes just to annoy her.
House was removing something from the brown bag. She saw that it was a bottle of Scotch, her favorite. She smiled slightly. He remembered her favorite brand after all these years. He saw her watching him pour out to glasses and said "I thought this could help."
"It couldn't hurt," she replied, taking the glass he held toward her.
"I bet if we put our heads together we can come up with a plan." He walked over to the couch and sat down. Looking up at her he continued, "I still think the catsuit has potential."
"I'm sure you do," she said weakly, and took a sip. It was too late for a visit, yet she knew she couldn't throw him out of her House. It had been so long since he had been there, and after tomorrow, he may never talk to her again.
House was never one for small talk, so he cut right to the chase. "What are you going to do tomorrow?" She knew he had ulterior motives for coming here. She should have known exactly what they were, but she had momentarily forgotten about Vogler and the board meeting she had first thing in the morning, and the decision she must make.
She paused for a long time. That was a very good question, and she really didn't have an answer yet. She couldn't think about it anymore. She took one long swig of scotch. "I'm going to start by asking you to join me upstairs." She couldn't fight it anymore. She had to take a chance.
"I thought you'd never ask." House drained his glass and headed for the stairs. Cuddy was already half way up. He stood and watched her, appreciating the view.
She felt his eyes on her as she walked upstairs, but she didn't dare look back. It had been a long time since he'd been in her room. She kept telling herself this was not a good idea, that this could change their relationship, that she could loose him forever. It was hard to know his motives. They had such a good friendship now, something they both cherished, though neither would admit it. Did she really want to risk all that for one night of passion. Despite these thoughts, she kept walking to the bedroom door, House following behind.
She felt butterflies in her stomach. She hadn't felt this way in a long time. She kept reminding herself that she was a grown, successful, intelligent woman. He was just a man. There was nothing to be nervous about.
He followed her to the bed, where they both sat down somewhat awkwardly. He must be nervous too, she thought. Their last time together hadn't gone very well, and that was when they decided it was best to just be friends.
"I do think you are trying to seduce me Dr. Cuddy" he chided in a mock Dustin Hoffman voice.
"Oh, shut up," she said, taking the cane out of his hand and placing it against the night table.
"I thought you liked the hard wood," House smirked.
"I do", she replied, placing her hand high on his leg.
They looked into each others eyes, looking for some assurance that this was what they both wanted. Then, unanimous in their decision, they fell slowly back onto the bed, their lips meeting on the way down.
Things were getting intense. They were both lost in the moment when House let out a cry of pain. He doubled over, gripping his bad leg. She knew exactly what had happened. It wasn't the first time. After Stacy had left him, a few years after the surgery which kept him in so much pain, former lovers House and Cuddy had gotten together for a short fling. They had never been able to consummate it, because of the excruciating pain he felt whenever he put too much pressure on his leg. As opposed to the constant pain he was already in.
As House tried to get through the initial burst of pain, Cuddy reached into his pocket and pulled out the small bottle of pills she knew he always kept there. She was trying to open it in the dark, knowing House would not want light shed on his pain. No one would ever see him like this. He wouldn't allow it.
Cuddy was taking too long. House reached out and grabbed the bottle from her. The cap that she had just finished loosening stayed in her hand. House tilted his head back and poured most of the bottle into his mouth. Cuddy couldn't tell how many pills he had taken. It wasn't the whole bottle, as she could hear some pills rattling around in the bottle, but it was far more than she would have given him. She realized he must be in more pain than she could ever imagine.
A wave of guilt swept over her. She still felt, deep in her heart, that this was somehow her fault. If she had handled his case herself, she might have been able to diagnose him sooner, or she would have listened to him when he tried to explain what was wrong. She could have left his leg alone when he was in that coma, not told Stacy about the alternate surgery, and let him…what, let him die? She was till convinced that, had he gotten what he wanted, and not had the surgery, he would have died, or been in this kind of pain the rest of his life. She had to believe she had done the right thing. It still didn't make the guilt go away completely.
The pills seemed to do their magic, returning House to his usual snarky self. "My God, Cuddy," he exclaimed. "Why do you have to be so rough!"
Her guilt was slowly replaced by relief. He was back. "I thought you liked it rough," she said, giving him a fake punch in the stomach. He grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. "I think you'd better be on top," He whispered in her ear.
The shrill cry of an alarm clock pierced the still morning air. Cuddy rolled over and whacked it. The room was quite once again, except for the heavy breathing coming from beside her in the bed. She rolled over and found herself staring into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen.
"What's for breakfast?" House asked chipperly.
Cuddy thought for a moment. What could she make for breakfast? Then she remembered there was something she had to do this morning. She looked into House's eyes, hoping it was something she had to do to him. It wasn't. It was something bad, something she'd been putting off. Suddenly she heard Vogler's voice in her head, "the clock is ticking, Dr. Cuddy." A shiver ran down her spine. Oh, how she hated that man.
"I'd like pancakes," House seemed to say to no one in particular. "With strawberry's if you have them. If not, then strawberry jam will do, though it's never quite as good, you know." He was rambling.
"There's a Denny's down the street," She answered, getting out of bed. She didn't make it before House pulled her back in.
"It's cold out there," he said, kissing her neck, and sending a shiver of pleasure through her body.
"I have to go," she said, struggling to get up again, "or have you forgotten that you have left it to me to save the hospital and you job."
He pulled her back down again, this time running his hands through her thick, dark hair. "I think you have your priorities mixed up, Cuddy. Shouldn't it be save my job then the hospital?"
"Only you would think that House." She kissed him lightly on the cheek and broke free. Before he could protest, she disappeared into the bathroom. When she emerged again, after a shower, he was gone. "He can move fast when he wants to" she thought to herself and got dressed.
The hospital was quiet this morning. Word had spread quickly about the board meeting. It was hard to keep secrets at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Cuddy wondered if she and House would be able to keep last night a secret.
She rushed into her office and shut the door. She didn't want to talk to anybody today. She still didn't know what she was going to do and needed some time to think. She looked at her desk clock. House should be in the hospital by now. He was probably in his office. She thought about checking up on him. Then she thought better of it. That wasn't a good idea. Besides, she was supposed to be coming up with a plan to stop Vogler.
The time had come, the meeting was about to begin. She didn't want to get there too early. She knew she would be bombarded with questions from the other board members. Besides, seeing Dr. Wilson's empty seat was not something she was looking forward to.
They always use to arrive early to the meetings, Drs. Wilson and Cuddy, and share jokes and stories, and, mostly, talk about House. She already missed him. The first thing she was going to do if she succeeded in getting rid of Vogler was to call Wilson and give him his old job back.
"Well, hello there, Dr. Cuddy." Voglers voice couldn't help but grate through her. If she never heard it again, it would be too soon. But he would not be silenced so easily. He continued to speak. "Are you ready to have a little fun?" He sounded way to happy given the circumstances.
"This is your idea of fun?" She asked incredulously.
"Only if you put up a fight. Or have finally come to your senses?"
"Oh, don't worry Eddie, I have." She brushed past him and into the board room. That felt good. She hoped she sounded more confident than she felt just now. She was about to make the biggest gamble of her life.