SIRIUSLY BLACK!
"Gosh darn it!" thought Sirius as he realized where he was. He was, as he had feared, on the other side of the veil. And you know what that means- NO NO, Sirius does not die! It's something even cooler than death! Sirius now becomes-
Black!
The veil pooped him out on the other end of the world, meaning China, unless you live in China, then that would be America, but let's just say you live in America, so Sirius was pooped out in China… Yet now that I think about it, all the Harry Potter people live somewhere in Britain… right? Alright then! Then the other side of the world for them is…
Some remote part of the Pacific Ocean?
Sirius spluttered and spurted as he found himself suddenly sinking in the dark ocean water. He tried to swim to the surface, and when he finally did, he was covered once again by the fierce choppy waves of the mid-pacific. "I reckon I'm dead, mate!" he told himself. Aww, but he was wrong. For Sirius didn't know that, simply for being Harry Potter's godfather, he had become- No, not a parselmouth, but something even COOLER! A delfinmouth! He could speak to dolphins!
So before he knew it, the now black Sirius Black was calling for help in delfintongue, and before he knew it, he was riding on the back of a beautiful bottle-nosed dolphin! "Beautiful!" Sirius exclaimed at the beauty of it, as he removed the bottle that had wound its way tightly onto the dolphin's nose. Ahhh, but inside the bottle was a note.
"Take me to land!" Sirius told the dolphin. "I can't read in all this hazy ocean!" For indeed, not only was it nighttime- it was HAZY. Actually, the whole ministry of magic thing happened at night… so since we're on the other side of the world, it's actually daytime. Crap. Well ok, let's just say it was SO SO hazy and cloudy it was virtually night time. Got it? Very well.
So as the dolphin soared over the waves (for yes, it soared because Sirius used the Wingardium Delfinosa spell) he began to ponder over his godson, Harry. "I must return to him!" he exclaimed excitedly- so excitedly, in fact, he actually urinated all over the dolphin's back. G-R-O-S-S!
Needless to say, the dolphin got pissed off (pun intended) and dumped him rudely on the first island it saw. "But I need to return to Harry!" Sirius called to the runaway dolphin in vain. "Bloody hell!" Awww… but did Sirius truly say "Bloody hell"? For now he is black, which means, he wants to be a GANGSTA, YO! So he decided, on the shore of the mysterious island, that he would now speak gangsta talk. Siriusly.
And then Sirius heard a sinister laugh coming from the woods deep within the island. He turned around, but the hazy haze barely let him see his own hand (not to mention falling through the veil made him yet another sufferer of astigmatism). "Who's there?" the seriously black Sirius Black called out.
But who is laughing out? And what, oh WHAT is in the mysterious note from the bottle? Will Sirius Black ever find his way back to Harry? And if he does, will Harry recognize him?
You'll just have to wait for the next episode YO!