The curtain is closed, but has a spotlight shining on it in the shape of a palm tree. It appears Tidus is stranded on an Island.
Tidus (lying facedown on the stage): Where am I?
A group of muscle-bound athletes walks across the stage and surrounds him, peering curiously. One of them is holding one of those white balls from Zanarkand. Their leader, WAKKA, speaks to Tidus's prone form.
Wakka (in phony Jamaican accent): Hey! You okay?
Tidus (opening his eyes and spotting the ball): Heeey! Blitzball! (He grabs it and does an amazing shot into the orchestra pit. The female musicians scream for Auron. Tidus rolls his eyes and smiles through clenched teeth.)
Wakka (looking impressed): You're no amateur. Who you play for?
Tidus (hands on his hips): The Zanarkand Abes!
(The group gasps in shock and begins whispering amongst themselves.)
Wakka (dumbstruck): What team you say again?
Tidus (remembering what Rikku told him): Uh, I meant... Forget that. I got too, uh...close to Sin and my head's all foggy-like, so I don't know where this place is, or even where I came from.
Wakka (still taken aback, but now sympathetic): Sin's toxin got to you, but you're still alive. Praise be to Yevon! (He and the others perform a reverent bow to their god. He then turns to the team.) All right, back to practice! (They scurry off the stage. He smiles and offers a hand to Tidus.) I'm Wakka, coach and captain of the Besaid Aurochs, brudda. (Tidus reaches out to shake his hand, but suddenly clutches his stomach, moaning.) What? You hungry? Okay! Back to the village. I'll get you somethin'!
(Tidus turns to the audience and says as an aside): I felt like I could trust this Wakka, even though his accent was beginning to piss me off, so I just had to ask.
Tidus: It's true Zanarkand was destroyed, right? A thousand years ago? So it's just a big pile of rubble now, isn't it?
Wakka (sighs and puts an arm around him): Long time ago, there were a whole lot of cities in Spira: big cities with machina--machines--to run 'em. People played all day and let the machina do the work. And then, Sin came and destroyed the machina cities, Zanarkand along with 'em. Yeah, that was about a thousand years ago, just like you said. If you ask me, Sin's our punishment for letting things get out of hand. What gets me, though is we gotta suffer, 'cause of what some goofballs did way back when! 'Course, we must always repent for our sins! That's important! It's just that, it's hard to keep at it sometimes, you know?
Tidus: Er, why are you telling me all this? I just asked if it was destroyed.
Wakka: My analyst says I got to get this stuff off my chest somehow, ya? Anywho. (He chuckles appreciatively and gives Tidus a noogie.) You, from the Zanarkand Abes--that was a good one! (Tidus pulls away and looks insulted.) Hey, I'm not saying that team never existed, ya? But you gotta figure a team living in luxury like that'd be pretty soft, eh? (Wakka walks offstage, beckoning to Tidus.)
Tidus (aside again): I appreciated the fact that Wakka was trying to cheer me up, but how much stock can you put in a guy who's admitted that he's mentally unstable? All I could think about was that everything that happened to me--all this--started with Sin. Maybe if I could find Sin one more time, I could go home! For now, I'd just live life until that time came. No more worrying about where, or when, I was. Sure it was hard not to think of home. But I started to feel better already. A little better...maybe.
(Wakka comes back on the stage.)
Wakka (nervously): Uh, I got a favor to ask ya.
Tidus (warily): You want me to listen to your life story, right?
Wakka: Sure, but maybe later. What I was tinking about was dis: could you join our team? A major blitz tournament's coming up. All the teams in Spira'll be there! It's so huge, I'm sure someone there will recognize you! Then you can go back to your old team, right? It'll be fun! What do you say, huh? Come on, come on!
Tidus: Sure thing.
Wakka: Dude! Our team is gonna rock, eh? (He runs off excitedly.)
Tidus (to audience): Dude? Puh-lease. At that time, I thought then that blitzball and Sin were the only things that Spira and Zanarkand had in common. I wasn't too far off, either.
Tidus runs off after Wakka and the curtain opens, revealing a rather primitive tent village. The Villagers walk about the stage, tending to their own business. Wakka and Tidus enter.
Wakka: About that life story, ya? Can I tell it? (He jumps up and down like a kid.)
Tidus (sighing): All right.
Wakka: This here is Besaid Village; it's where I was born. I started blitz when I was five. I joined the Aurochs at thirteen...ten years ago. Ten years...and we never won a game. Well, after last year's tournament, I quit. Time seemed right. So, after quitting, I got this new job, ya? But every time my mind wandered, I thought about the game.
Tidus (already bored): Ten years without a single win'll do that.
Wakka: My first match last year was my big chance, but something else was on my mind. I couldn't focus.
Tidus: Nice excuse.
Wakka: Hey, hey! My analyst says I'll never get over my guilt complex widout positive reinforcement, ya?
Tidus (flatly): Ok. Fine. Great hair.
Wakka (grooming): You really tink so? Aw, danks!
Tidus: Back to blitzball. You want to win the next tournament, right? Go out with a bang? (Wakka nods.) So, what's our goal?
Wakka: Let me tell you about how we play blitz on the Aurochs, brudda:
(The Orchestra plays eight quick cords and Wakka starts singing.)
Wakka: When you play blitz with the Aurochs it's true
We will never ask more than the best you can do.
When you're with us, we just do what we can,
We're all bruddas with dreams though we don't have a plan.
We know that we're bad, that's why we're always beaten.
Although we are sad,
We're never caught at cheatin',
Only at eatin'!
Then you are set with a capital "A"
That they'll never forget til your last dying day!
With the Aurochs, just do your best!
(By this time, several of the Aurochs have come out of the tents and are listening with pride. Tidus, however, is unimpressed.)
Tidus: No, no, no, no, no. If I say "What's our goal?" you say "Victory!" When you play in a blitzball tournament, you play to win!
Wakka (nonplussed): Victory? You serious?
(Tidus nods and picks up the song.)
Tidus (sings):
When you play blitz, you must give it your all.
Keep your mind on the game; keep your eye on the ball.
When you play blitz let them know who is king,
Score at least seven points; it's the simplest thing!
Tidus/Wakka/Aurochs (sing):
The Aurochs are here, our cylinders are clicking.
The rest will just jeer,
Cause every single one thinks we're lousy chickens!
But we are the Aurochs, and we're doin swell,
Someone gets in our way, someone don't feel so well.
Here we come now, little world step aside.
Better go underground, better run, better hide.
Aurochs/Wakka:
We're drawing the line, this time we really got it.
We're gonna be fine,
The Aurochs haven't rotted; we've just re-potted!
Tidus (speaking): What the hell is that supposed to mean? CHANGE IT!
Aurochs/Wakka:
We're drawing the line, this time we really mean it.
We're gonna be fine,
As Tidus has foreseen it; we'll come through clean yet!
Here come the Aurochs, and we're gonna beat
Every last blitzball team on the whole buggin street.
On the whole buggin, ever lovin street! Yeah!
(As the song ends, the Aurochs, minus Wakka, split to practice, and two men in unusual battle garb emerge from the temple and wander into the middle tent on the left.)
Tidus (pointing): Who are they?
Wakka (scolding): It's rude to point.
Tidus: Whatever. Just answer the question.
Wakka: They are Luzzu and Gatta--Crusaders.
Tidus (confused): I thought the Dark Ages were over.
Wakka: No, no! Not that kind of Crusader! (Tidus hangs his head.) Hey, sorry. Don't worry about it, I'll help you out.
Tidus (pepping up): Cool! In return, come tournament time, I'll make sure we take the cup!
Wakka: Cool. About the Crusaders, you can ask them yourself. That's their lodge they just went into.
Tidus: They got any food there?
Wakka: Dey usually got some for travellers in da temple. But first. (He pulls him to one side of the stage, away from the other villagers.)
Tidus: Aw, come on! Enough already! I'm starved!
Wakka: You do remember the prayer, right? (Tidus shakes his head.) Man, that's like the basics of the basics. Alright, I'll show you. (He spreads his arms and brings them back toward his chest, one hovering slightly over another. He is about to bow as he did on the beach when a loud buzzing noise is heard. Wakka's head looks up and seems to be following something. Suddenly, the buzzing stops and Wakka smacks himself hard on the forehead.)
Tidus (bewildered): Okie dokie. (He repeats the prayer, including the head swivelling and smack on the forehead.)
Wakka: No, no, no, no! Geez, mon, I was just swatting a fly. Dat's not part of the prayer (He does the prayer correctly now.) Go ahead, you try.
Tidus: Oh! (He does it.)
Wakka: Hey, not bad. Okay, now go present yourself to the temple summoner. (He walks offstage through the door of a hut.)
Tidus (aside): Any blitzball player would know that prayer. It was the blitzball sign for victory. (He walks toward the back of the stage where a temple is painted. Some people appear to come out of the temple, praying to statues just outside. Tidus stops to watch, awed and bewildered.) It was then, standing in that place. I began to realize how different this world was from my own. (He notices a newer statue of a man in robes, holding a staff. As he looks at it, an ACOLYTE approaches Tidus.)
Acolyte: Ten years have passed since Lord Braska became high summoner. And finally we received a statue for our temple.
Tidus (scratching his head): What's a high summoner? (A shudder ripples through the group of worshippers. Tidus looks down in horror.) What? Is my fly down? (He suddenly remembers his line.) I mean, I. . . uh got too close to Sin's, uh, toxin.
Auron (offstage, slapping his forehead): D'oh.
(Tidus wanders back downstage, soliloquizing once more.) It was funny hearing myself make the same excuse over and over. Funny, and a little sad.
Auron (offstage, muttering): Let me tell you who's funny and a little sad.
(The acolyte follows him to explain.)
Acolyte: The summoners are practitioners of a sacred art, sworn to protect the people of Yevon. Only a chosen few become summoners, who call forth entities of great power: the aeons. The aeon hear our prayers and come down to us. They are the blessing of Yevon.
(Tidus walks back toward Wakka's hut.)
Tidus (to audience): So what he meant...was that we should respect some kinda great man or something like that...I figured.
Wakka (emerging from hut): You are so clueless. Sorry, man. No time for lunch yet. Take a nap! You look bushed.
(Tidus exits the stage, presumably to nap. Wakka is about to follow him when the Acolyte comes forward.)
Acolyte: You could at least go see how they are doing.
Wakka: We can't interfere. It's a rule."
Acolyte: But, it's been nearly...
(Snores are heard from inside the hut.)
Auron (offstage): If that moron stays unconscious, we might yet be able to save the show!
Voice From Beyond: Fat chance, Death-Boy.
Auron: Why you…
To be continued.
AN: Sorry this took so long. Life (aka college) got in the way. Tell me what you think of this latest installment.