Disclaimer: The ever-wonderful J.K Rowling owns all but the journal idea.
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beta by: ilovethedotgame
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Chapter Thirteen: The Wonders of Mistletoe
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James Potter
Sirius Black
Remus Lupin
Peter Pettigrew
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I still don't know what to get for Lily. Maybe I'll browse around some of the shops in Hogsmeade and hopefully see something that will strike her fancy.
Lily may not be going to Hogsmeade with me, but thank Merlin she's not going with anyone else!
"God rest ye merry hippogriffs,
May nothing more you eat!
For Kettleburn's three fingers
Should be a tasty treat!"
Lyrics by: Sirius Black and James Potter
"Jingle Bells, Remus smells,
Peter snores like Hell"
(how anyone gets any sleep around here is still a mystery to me)
-Sirius Black
"I saw Lily kissing Stephan Perks,
Underneath the mistletoe last night"
WHAT! WHEN WAS THIS! WHERE WAS I? THAT RANDY PRAT! HOW DARE HE TOUCH LILY! I'LL HEX HIM INTO NEXT WEEK!
Whoa, Prongs! I was kidding; it was a joke. She didn't kiss him, he didn't kiss her; I made it up.
Padfoot, don't even joke about something that serious! I nearly went into cardiac arrest!
Sorry, I underestimated your Lily-protectiveness. Or obsesiveness…one of the two. Or both.
It feels so good to have all of my friends speaking to one another again. Nothing of that magnitude has ever kept us apart for so long; it was so different from what I was used to.
The bond between Sirius and I is closer than that of me and the other two guys, but it doesn't mean that I don't consider them just as good of friends. Don't get me wrong, Sirius is great company, but Remus is our voice of reason and both he and Peter contribute to our lively banter and discussions during the course of the day.
I really missed all four of us being able to talk and joke so freely. I'd never given it a second thought, but then when my friends weren't all there I noticed it like a bludger to the head. For all that it has been a very trying time in my life, I'm glad that through it all, I was able to see my friends in a new light and become more appreciative of them and how close we are. Because not all people have what we do and we're very lucky to have each other.
That was quite sentimental, James. Not that I'm trying to take the mickey out of you; I'm clumsily trying to compliment you.
And thanks, your friendship means a lot to me too. It means the world. I don't know what I would have done without you guys there each month to help me through…all I can say is thanks.
Still haven't found anything for Lily's present. Sure, I saw things that Lily might like, but nothing seemed personal enough. We are only friends, but I want to give her something from the heart, not just something I saw on a shelf and thought, "Lily might like that". I want to see it and think, "That's what I'm getting Lily."
Even though I didn't find Lily a present, I managed to get the rest of my Christmas shopping done. I did get to spend some time with Lily and her friends at the Three Broomsticks. We had a nice conversation and overall I had good time.
Does Lily know when James' birthday is?
I don't think so…weren't you going to tell her so that she could get him a present?
No, I thought you were!
Guys, Lily doesn't have to get me anything. I'm content to just have her as a friend.
So you say now, but don't blame me when she doesn't have anything for you tomorrow.
15 December 1977
Today I am seventeen years old.
Today I am legally an adult by wizarding standards.
That is one scary thought.
As was expected, Lily had no idea that today was my birthday. She told me that she would liked to have known so that she could have gotten me a gift, but I didn't want to tell her myself.
Not that it's a big secret or something, but how good does it sound to go up and say to someone, "By the way, my birthday is coming up." ? That just makes it seem as though you're hinting that you want a gift from them.
I don't care about presents. All that I really need or want on my birthday is to have my friends around me. Her presence was all that was required.
A long time ago, I agreed to help Lily make four way mirrors for her friends for Christmas. Tonight was the date we set up to meet in the library to work on them.
As we were leaving, I noticed that I wasn't able to move away from Lily. I knew instantly what was wrong: Mistletoe!
Now, I know you're wondering, what's the problem? I'm stuck under the mistletoe with the girl of my dreams. There's no problem, right? Wrong.
Lily doesn't want to be kissed. So, like the gentleman I am, I pulled out my wand and tried to get rid of it. But I couldn't. The spell rebounded off the plant and came at me instead. It's lucky that I have good reflexes or I'd have had to re-grow some of my hair.
So I tried kissing her on the cheek (the left one), but that didn't work either. At this point, I was deliriously happy on the inside since the only way to get rid of the plant was to kiss Lily.
On the other hand, I knew that Lily didn't want to be kissed by me. (Which is a pity) What was a bloke to do?
Figuring the only way to go about kissing her without earning a slap and a cold shoulder, I tried to explain the situation as nicely as I could. I did admit that I wanted to kiss her, but then, she already knew that.
I took her jaw in my hand and pulled her close, and then…we kissed. Sweet Merlin, she has soft lips. But then I suppose all girls do; they're forever applying lip gloss and chap stick and whatnot. Whatever kind of lip gloss Lily has, I like it. It was kind of a mix of strawberry and vanilla….very nice.
But the taste of her lip gloss wasn't the best part, oh no, it gets better. Much better. Lily kissed me back.
Not the way I would have liked, naturally, and it was very light and subtle, but I could tell. And I loved every second of it. All three of them. Not that I counted.
After the kiss we ended up talking about the last time we kissed. Not the best move on my part, but didn't go as badly as it could have.
Girls have this thing about their first kiss, I don't what it is, but they seem to think it's this big, special, defining moment in their lives. Apparently what Lily envisioned was a knight in shinning armor with a white stallion. Bloody hell! A broomstick I could do, but a whole freaking horse? And who owns armor? I mean, we have a suit of armor in the entryway at home, but it's not the kind you wear, it's just for display.
Just when I think I just might be beginning to understand this girl, she throws this at me. I should have realized by now that this path to Lily's heart that I'm trying to travel is undoubtedly going to be littered with potholes and nasty twists and turns.
Anyway, in an effort to make her feel better about the whole loss of her first kiss thing, I confided to her that she was my first kiss too.
Yes, go ahead and laugh, but maybe I didn't want to kiss just any girl. Seriously, when I was thirteen, I was just taking an interest in girls. I've only had one actual girlfriend and she had the thing about her first kiss too and wouldn't let me kiss her. (I did try) She said she wanted her first kiss to come from her true love and that I wasn't him and she wasn't going to waste her first kiss on me. We broke up shortly after that.
Then in fourth year, I took an interest in Lily Evans. Not a great interest, but enough that I didn't seriously date anyone. I think I took a couple girls to Hogsmeade over the course of the year, but they didn't believing in kissing on a first date and I never took them on a second.
And so fifth year rolled around and Lily became a permanent fixture in my life. I decided early on that she was going to be my first kiss. And so she was. Not by her choice granted, but I never even thought that it would bother her. Let's say I've learned a thing or two since then.
After telling her this, she asked, "Seriously?" and as if on cue, who should enter the scene, but Sirius? And as is characteristic of him, he goes into the whole, "Sirius" "serious" joke. He thinks it never gets old, but I beg to differ.
Come to find out that the reason that I couldn't vanish the mistletoe is because he charmed it. I'm caught somewhere between thanking him and hitting him upside the head. Thanking him for obvious reasons, but hitting him because he thought that by kissing Lily, she'd instantly fall in love with me.
I don't think that Sirius will ever get married if he thinks that love or even like works that way. Sure, it would be nice in my case, but alas, it doesn't, and Lily is free to like or love whomever she pleases. I wouldn't want to force her to like me. It wouldn't mean anything to her then, and I couldn't stand that since it means everything to me.
Honestly, James! Lily didn't literally mean that she wanted armor and a white stallion!
What she metaphorically meant is that she wanted it to be someone special, someone she cared for. And while she cares for you as a friend, that's the extent of her feelings.
Merlin! I thought we were getting somewhere and then you go and say stuff like that.
Okay, so my last entry wasn't the most intelligent thing I've ever come up with, but in my defense it was one o'clock in the morning and I was highly stressed out.
Ah, mistletoe. Whoever decided the rules of mistletoe is a saint. Truly, they are. I feel like writing a letter to that person, thanking them for starting such a wonderful tradition.
This past week I have kissed Lily on the cheek no less than seven times. Sadly, this means no nice tasting lip gloss, but I've found that her skin is very soft too. There's this one freckle I particularly like to kiss. Just this one freckle in the middle of her cheek, all there by itself…
Oh, Merlin, that sounded all sentimental and, heaven forbid…girly.
Lily saw me with my notebook in the common room. She asked what it was so I told her it was a list of quidditch plays and strategies.
I didn't like lying to her, but what was I supposed to do?
I know what I'm getting Lily for Christmas. Flower seeds. Seeds for lilies.
I'm taking a bit of a leap of faith here - I don't even know if Lily gardens, but every time she looks at them, or waters and weeds them, she'll remember that I gave them to her.
I've decided to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas. After I spent my entire breakfast convincing Lily that she needed to stay, I'm not going home.
Christmas here is so much fun. I miss my parents, but I'll have many more Christmases to spend with them and I've only got two more years here. A year and half really. I want to spend all the time I can at Hogwarts.
I've been thinking. Should I show Lily my notebook? I mean, she knows about all of the events that I've written about, since she's the reason for this whole thing, so it wouldn't be anything she doesn't all ready know….I feel somehow compelled to show her this notebook. Don't ask me why, because I'm sure I couldn't tell you, but I just do.
Are you mad? After the stuff you wrote in here in the beginning?
"She has red hair; my favorite color is red. She has green eyes; I like green eyes. And red and green are Christmas colors, and I like Christmas."
That's not exactly the most intelligent thing you'd ever said, mate.
I was fifteen and an idiot. What can I say?
So now you're seventeen and an idiot. Your point is…?
I think the idea has merit.
What?
Really?
Well, sure she'll see the stupid Christmas quote and all the others, but you've grown up a lot, James. Lily will see beyond the idiotic remarks you tend to make and realize just how much you've changed.
She got me a book for Christmas! And not just any book, she got me He Flew like a Madman: A Biography of the 'Dangerous' Dai Llewellyn! I saw that book at the book shop a while ago and thought it might be interesting and I've been meaning to buy it ever since.
But more than the fact that I wanted the book is the fact that Lily picked it out for me. She knows what type of stuff I like and she wanted to get me something I would like. She looked so nervous watching me open it, I wanted to laugh. Not at her, but at the idea that would hate something that Lily picked out for me. She could have given me a blank piece of parchment and I'd have been thrilled.
Lily seemed to be happy with the seeds I gave her. She went through the whole box and read all the labels and the backs of the packages.
The rest of today was spent in the common room talking, eating and other various activities. I managed to get my eyebrows singed during a tense game of exploding snap, which everyone seemed to think was rather funny.
Today we went ice-skating on Hogwarts' lake. I had quite a good time, and if Lily's smile means anything, so did she.
It was quite funny what a klutz Emmeline is. On solid ground she's fine, but once you get her on the ice, it's quite a scary story. She and Sirius, who's also quite graceful on ice skates, ended up leaning on each other much of the time in an attempt to keep on their feet.
I skated mostly with Lily. We talked about everything from the Potions essay due after holiday to Gryffindors chances of winning the House Cup. (Which, consequently, are very good.)
During our second lap, Lily tripped (on what, I'm not quite sure…) and fell into a snow bank. Being the chivalrous gentleman that I am, I helped her to get back on her feet. Being the cheeky prat that I am, after helping her out of the snow, I kept hold of her hands and began to spin in a wide circle.
Needles to say, we both ended up back in the snow bank. A little chilly when the snow goes down the back of your cloak and melts in the center of your back, but oh so worth it when you land with Lily Evans' face a breath away from yours.
After once again helping her up, I went out on a limb and asked if I could hold her hand while we skated.
Now, I know we've been friends for awhile now, but sometimes I still feel as though I'm treading on thin ice with her. No pun intended.
I mean, I fancy her to kingdom come and back and she knows it. It sometimes makes for a lightly awkward situation, but I do my best to avoid those. I know she doesn't feel the same way, but when we're laughing and talking together so freely, it's so easy to forget.
Her hand was so small in mine, but it fit just right. I didn't want to let her go.
Tonight is New Years Eve and since this day, or tomorrow morning as it were, is symbolic of new beginnings, I've decided to show Lily my notebook tonight.
I'm a little worried about her reaction, I mean, here I am with barely a hope of this wonderful girl ever liking me and I'm going to thrust out my sleeve with my heart so clearly on it for her to see and let her do what she will with it.
"I'm not mad. How can I be mad at you when all you've done is be nice to me?"
That's what she said! Nice to her? This year maybe, but last year I was downright sneaky and rude. And at the time I thought I was being clever. Ha!
"You've been nice lately, and I think that's what counts."
Lily Evans is one of the best people I know. (My mum being the other one) She's not cross with me at all! If anything, she seemed amused - almost like she knew something I didn't that made the whole situation even funnier.
It wasn't a "James keeps a journal, let's all point and laugh at him! Ha Ha Ha!" kind of amused though. (Which, by the way, it isn't a journal – it's an idea notebook.)
She seemed a little shocked that I bothered to keep track of every encounter I have with her. Well, not every. I don't count the number of times I pass her in the hall or anything like that. (Just for the record, it was ten times today.)
Ah, that girl does my heart good. Even if she's hurting my heart at the same time, she mends it more than she hurts it. And I can live with that.
Review Reponses:
Linn-LovesPiperLeo: Thank you very much for the compliment!
Queen Of Day Dreams: Hope this wait was a bit shorter and that you enjoyed this chapter!
Auramistealia: Thanks! Glad to hear that something good happened, anyway!
Greeneyemagiccatsfairys: Thanks, and of course I'll keep writing this! I'm not about to stop now!
J.E.A.R.KPotter: :-) Thanks!
Le Bourdon Somnambulique: Thank you ever so much for the compliment, and again, sorry, but I hope you'll still read and enjoy my story!
Abby: Of course James was sweet! James is always sweet…well, most of the time anyway!
emps: I agree 100. I am in love with James. It's so great to be able to write his character and make him be so sweet and nice to Lily.
special-apricot: I know, I know! Sorry about the wait last time. At least I had a good reason. But I hope that this chapter was much quicker and that you enjoyed it.
Anne Christy AKA Some12: Why, thanks! That was quite nice of you to say so:-) Good to hear you didn't see any mistakes! I always find one or two after I post and it drives me crazy!
E.G. Potter: Thanks!