Darkness Falling
Bohemianbabe
Note: We are slowly reaching the end of the story! After this chapter there are only 6 chapters left. Fortunately for all of you I do have my new story 'Second Chances' well underway. And also, soon the story "She's Having My Baby" will be re-posted. It was originally posted under the mxangel account, but will now be here. I hope that those of you who loved it before will read it, and I promise that this time you will get to read it to completion!
Also, in the last chapter I made a reference to Schrödinger's Cat. I probably should explain that for those who do not understand. The theory says that there is a close box. Inside that box there is a cat, and the cat has been there for quite a while. Until the box is opened it is practically impossible to know for sure if the cat is still alive or not, so as long as the box is closed the cat is both alive and dead. If any of you watch the CBS show NUMB3RS you should have heard this term. In the previous chapter the term was used to mean that Lexa both had all of time or only a few seconds to live, and that until something was done to show which it could be either one as chosen.
5 days to change things.
Shalimar woke up extra early as her alarm clock went off. For the first time ever she was glad she had been the designated driver and did not have a hangover to sleep off. As quietly and carefully as she could she slipped out of bed and dressed. She made a quick stop to the kitchen and grabbed a drinkable yogurt, but then went to the garage to get into her car.
With the radio playing she drove into town and to the mall. After parking she headed in and went straight to her favorite store. It took her only a few minutes to find exactly what she was looking for. The dress was a deep burgundy made of a soft silk. The neck line plunged down low and there was a slit on one side that went to mid-thigh.
After she tried on the dress to make sure that it fit she took it, paid for it, and went back to Sanctuary. With careful moves she made sure that no one saw her so that her dress would be a surprise when she finally wore it. She took the dress out of its bag, put it on, and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Thinking carefully as she looked at her reflection Shalimar decided that the dress would look best with the diamond necklace Adam had bought her after she graduated from high school.
She pulled the necklace out of its velvet lined box and carefully fastened the clasp then looked back in the mirror. She smiled at the reflection and decided that she had been right about the necklace. Carefully she took off both the dress and the necklace and put them away safely.
She heard someone knocking on the door and quickly pulled back on her clothes. "Come in."
Lexa opened the door, stepped in the room, and closed the door tightly behind her. "We need to talk."
"Sounds serious." Shalimar sat down on her bed and signaled Lexa to join her. "What's up?"
"I guess its no secret what happened between me and Jess last night after we got back home."
"Not really. You having regrets about it?"
"Not so much about what we did as I am about how we did it."
"How you did it? That isn't making much since to me."
"Well you know its been a long time since he has, and well I'm not on any thing…"
"And he didn't have anything?"
"Exactly. I really thought that we were safe, but I was flipping through a calendar, and well I'm not so sure that we are."
"Well if you need me to I can run the scans so Jesse doesn't have to know."
"Thanks." Lexa was still visibly shaken. "I really cant deal with this, at least not now."
"Its no secret that you don't want to have kids. I guess I should check into the other options you'd have just in case."
"No, don't bother." Lexa pushed a strand of hair back from her face. "If it turns out that I did get pregnant because of my stupidity last night, well I know a good prenatal specialist."
"Prenatal specialist? You'd actually go through with a pregnancy?" Shalimar stared at Lexa in shock.
Two hours later.
Shalimar walked into the lab and found Jesse working at his computer.
"You having any luck?"
"Not really. I guess I'm too tired to think. Didn't sleep all that well last night."
"Oh I know you didn't get much sleep last night. Actually that reminds me of something."
"What does it remind you of?" Jesse gave her a weird look.
"I was just wondering about what would happen with those stabilization formulas you are trying if it was used on a pregnant woman."
"I guess worst case scenario the pregnancy would be terminated. You don't have something you're not telling me do you?"
"I'm not pregnant, I would tell you if I was."
"Good." he shook his head as an idea came to him. "God forbid I be right, but is Lexa?"
"It wouldn't be my place to say if she was."
"Right now I don't care whose place it would be. I don't know what could happen to a pregnant woman, and if she is I really need to know."
"If she was I'd tell you, but as far as I know she isn't."
"She scared because of last night?"
"A little. She is at a disadvantage with this one."
"I'll go talk to her later."
"Just don't tell her I told you anything. Let her think you came up with the idea on your own."
"Right. I'll still be bracing myself for the worst." He looked down at the key board. "Part of the reason I never pushed her for a relationship was because I knew eventually the subject of kids would come up again."
"Because she doesn't want to have kids?"
"Even as much as I love her I couldn't choose between her or having a chance to raise kids of my own."
"So if Alicia came back you'd go with her because she'd probably be willing to have kids?"
"I never said that."
"So what are you saying?"
"That I cant deal with only having one or the other. If I stay with Lexa I can forget the idea of having kids with her, but if I go with having kids I lose Lexa. After all I've done with helping others and saving the world over and over with out any thanks I think I'm entitled to have both."
"You are. Just talk to her Jess, and tell her what you told me."
"Do you want her to yell at me?"
"Just humor me."
"Alright, I'll talk to her."
"Good. Now go get to it."
"You know, one of these days you will actually learn how important my computer work is."
"Somehow I doubt that."
"You're right." Jesse smirked. "I doubt you will too."
An hour later.
Jesse walked into Lexa's room trying not to appear too obvious. "Can we talk?"
"I don't know. It would depend on what you want to talk with me about." Lexa answered calmly.
"Are you sure that last night was alright?"
"I thought I made it pretty clear to you that I was happy last night, and that I'd be coming back to you again soon." Lexa smirked. "Now stop with this male insecurity and go get back to your computer work."
"You know that is not what I'm talking about. We didn't take the safest route last night."
"You almost sound like you want me to be worried about something." She made a mental note to have a serious discussion with Shalimar later. "I don't know how to make you believe this, but last night was safe. You're not going to have to tell me that I'm pregnant."
"If you're sure."
"I am." Lexa confirmed. "Are we good now?"
"I guess. You mind if I ask you something?"
"You would ask even if I did mind."
"What kind of future do we have? Is this just a fling for you or is there a chance of us actually settling down and staying together?"
"I didn't get into this with you looking for a relationship. We've both got expectations for our lives, and yours are different from mine. You want to do the whole thing with a wife and kids, and all I really want is a stable guy. I don't even really care about a marriage. So if you are saying that you're going to set out to get exactly what you want don't look here."
"I get the fact that I'm probably going to be forced to choose between having you or having a family of my own, but after all I've done with helping others and saving the world over and over with out any thanks I think I'm entitled to have both. I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. If you really think we're not going anywhere at all just tell me."
Lexa took a breath, trying to concentrate only on dealing with Jesse. Her fight with Shalimar would have to wait until she had calmed her boyfriend down. "What I think is that right now we don't know how much time I have. I am trying not to think about the future until I know that I will actually be around to see it. I'm sorry if you think that I don't want to be with you in the way you want me to, but until I know for a fact that I'm not going to die because of my powers I can't really do anything. So yes, at least for now this is only a fling that will dead end."
Jesse took in a deep breath and then let it out. "The scary thing is that I'm all right with us just being a fling."
"Good." She got up and walked over to him. Putting her hands on his face she leaned in and kissed him. "Wait here. I have something that I need to take care of but then I'll be back and we can enjoy our little 'fling' some more."
Jesse kissed her again. "I wish we could. I really need to get some work done on finding the cure though. We'll wait till tonight."
"Good plan." She gave him a final kiss and then stepped away from him. "I'll have time to run out and pick some stuff up so we don't have to worry about us accidentally getting into any trouble."
That night
After having looked for the feral all afternoon Lexa finally saw the blonde woman heading to her bedroom. Following the feral Lexa stormed into Shalimar's bedroom in full rage. "How could you do that to me!"
"Do what?" Shalimar asked cautiously.
"You told Jesse! I thought I didn't have to spell out that I didn't want him to know!"
"I didn't flat out tell him. I was trying to find out if there was any danger for you to be taking those antidotes if you were pregnant. He pulled more out of the things I left unsaid."
"You know what it doesn't matter. I'm never going to trust you like that again."
Lexa stormed back out of the room leaving Shalimar in shock. The raven haired woman made her way to her own room and practically threw herself into Jesse's arms as she let him calm her back down. With her rage making her desire stronger they spent the night once again solidifying all that was unsaid between them.