Disclaimer: Do not Gundam Wing, have never even seen an episode. . The title of this chapter is a lyric from he best band ever, the Manic Street Preachers.

Note to Dagger Maxwell: The first person's identity was implied, if you go back and read it carefully, you'll probably catch it. ;)

A/N: Oh, and in this chapter, I know it seems like Relena is the one with the eating disorder, but it's not her. Heh, but you'll find out more about that in later chapters. And 1x2 will come eventually, I promise!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Two: I Need a Reflection to Prove I Exist

(6 months previously)

Amethyst eyes glowed dangerously, gaze fixed on the identical violet orbs reflected in the glass. He had been staring into the hollow depths of his eyes for the past twenty minutes, as if by looking long enough, glaring hard enough, he could see into his soul. Perhaps if he could see inside himself, he could figure out his emotions, his feelings. These were things he had not been able to identify for months now. Ever since It started. "It" was the cause of the current scowl marring his fragile features, was the reason he now spent his days locked up in his room, secluded from his friends, his peers, the world.

Duo steadfastly refused think of the It, refocusing his thoughts instead on the solution. He knew what the problem was, there was no doubt in his mind. His troubles lay in his confusion, his inability to decipher something as simple as an emotion, a feeling, a thought. For example, he knew that he loved Heero. He was his best friend, after all, they had been through war together. Had fought next to each other, killed, saved, protected, survived… comrades in arms. But where does "love" turn into "in love"? And Duo knew, always had known, that he found the Japanese man attractive… But where does thinking someone is attractive turn into attraction? It was such a thin line, one that blurred in his mind, had him reeling and grasping blindly for an answer.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a soft, tentative knock on the door. Duo sighed, turning from the image of himself, and reached over to open the door just slightly. Through the crack in the wood, he could make out one sapphire blue eye, and when he pulled the mahogany barrier open further, blonde hair and a slight frown were revealed. Moaning inaudibly, Duo plastered his trademark grin on his face, and bounded outside to join Quatre in the hallway.

"Hey Q-Man, what's up?" Though he was lacking in energy these days, he forced himself to bounce slightly on his toes as his friend eyed him warily.

Pulling his lips up in a grin to match Duo's, Quatre tore his eyes from the other's figure, and said, "Well, it's almost 2:00 and you haven't come out of your room yet. I was just wondering…" He coughed slightly, uncomfortable, averting his gaze yet again before continuing. "Well, we were worried, and…"

Not giving him a chance to continue, Duo cut in, his tone infused with a cheerfulness he did not feel, "Well yeah, Quat, a guy needs his beauty sleep, doesn't he?" A sly smile, a wink.

A snort was heard behind the two pilots, and Duo turned to face Wufei who had apparently overheard the conversation. "Yes, and Nataku knows, Maxwell, you need plenty of it!"

Sighing, Duo only looked away. He simply did not have the energy today to stage another mock argument with Wufei. Instead, he merely frowned and muttered under his breath, "Yeah, well…"

Behind him, Wufei and Quatre exchanged a look, their eyes dancing with concern, and suspicion over Duo's uncharacteristic behavior.

Noticing the odd behavior of his friends, Duo turned to face them again, face lit up in a smile that did not reach his eyes.

Wincing slightly at the sudden pain flowing through his heart, Quatre meekly returned the grin. "Hey Duo, why don't you come down for some lunch? Relena is here, so I thought it would be nice to…" His voice trailed off once he noticed the scowl that washed over Duo's face at the name "Relena". He bit his lip, wishing that he had been more careful with his choice in words. He knew of Duo's feelings for Heero, had sensed them in his heart from as early as the war days. They were strong enough to overpower any other emotion when he and Duo were in the same room together, and it pained Quatre greatly to watch as Heero rejected him day after day, simply by being with Relena.

Wufei, noticing the sickly, pale color Duo's face had taken, put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "Yes Duo," he began quietly, catching the braided man's attention by using his first name. "Why don't you come down? I'm sure Trowa and Heero would love to see you…"

Swallowing the anger and resentment he felt rising up inside of him, Duo only nodded mutely and followed the two pilots down the long, winding staircase, down to the fancy dining room of one of Quatre's mansions. The five ex-pilots had been living here, together, for the past year, since the last war had ended. Each had tried to make it on their own, but soon found that their experiences, their traumas, their history, were unique, and unaccepted by society. They soon drifted back to each other, finding solace in the fact that each man understood, and did not judge. Understanding. A quality that the five men could not find in the general public.

"Duo!"

A shrill, high-pitched voice roused the braided man from his thoughts, and he looked up to find Relena rushing towards him, arms open in greeting.

Fighting back the urge to roll his eyes and shove her away, he returned her hug briefly. She really was a sweet girl, he justified. A good friend, not only to Heero, but to himself, as well as the other three pilots.

Thoughts of Relena brought upon another emotion for Duo, another which confused him, had him feeling helpless and lost. Jealousy. Yes, he was jealous of the relationship that she and Heero shared, he could admit that. But was he jealous of their closeness, their friendship, or… something else? The intimacy, the physical relationship he knew he could never have? He didn't know. And this not knowing was what affected him the most, for he was sure that once he could figure out what he was feeling, he could put a stop to these troublesome emotions.

"Duo?"

Snapping his head up, the America shook his head clear before focusing on the girl before him. Flashing Relena a guilty grin, he quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Eh, what was that?"

"I asked if you would like to join the rest of us for lunch? Quatre's chef has prepared the most delightful Arabian dish, you must come and try it!"

Duo had to smile at the proper way Relena spoke. He almost felt sorry for her, the Queen of the World, constantly under the watchful eye of the media. She must be perfect all the time, in her speech, her mannerisms, her appearance, and every aspect of her personality. In this way, she seemed to be ideally suited for The Perfect Soldier.

"Sure! What are we having?" Duo asked cheerfully, bounding over to the large table and surveying the dishes, and the food that lay piled upon them. He stopped once his eyes settled on a near empty China plate, stacked high with lettuce and cucumbers, but nothing of real sustenance. Raising an eyebrow at the blonde teen, he motioned towards the plate in question. "What's up with the rabbit food, huh? You can't seriously live on just that, can you?!"

Blushing a pink to match the shade of her dress, Relena looked down and murmured, "I'm on a bit of a diet, I suppose." Duo nodded his understanding, feeling sorry for the girl not for the first time since he'd come down.

He watched his friends take their seats, Quatre and Trowa sitting close together, hands held discreetly under the linen cloth, Wufei taking the seat at the head of the table, and Heero and Relena sitting side by side, backs held straight, maintaining their posture, eyes downcast and focusing solely on the scant food on their plates that they merely picked at. Duo sighed, knowing that Heero must also be feeling some of Relena's pressure, simply by being her boyfriend, a main part in her life – a big story for the media.

Duo ate his lunch silently, keeping his eyes focused on the young couple seated across from him. And as he observed, he realized what it was that the two shared in common, realized what made them fit so well together: Perfection. He, the Perfect Soldier, she the Queen of the World, each working so hard to uphold a certain image. Perfection. The world rolled through his head, as he repeated it over and over, like a mantra. Perfection, perfection, perfection, perfection. And slowly an idea began to form in his mind, an idea which made him smile the first real, genuine grin that he'd flashed since the war ended.

Mission: To win over the Perfect Soldier, capture his friendship, his love, whatever it may be…

Mission: Accepted.