Chapter Five

Starr straightened and dusted herself off as everyone emerged from their hiding spots once the birds were gone. She wrinkled her nose adorably at the dirt on her sleeve, not paying attention to what Whitey was saying.

"Spies of Saruman! The passage south is being watched. I am at a loss at what to do…" Gandalf said.

"Yeah, riiiiight." Aragorn said sarcastically.

"Perhaps we should take the Pass of Caradhras…" Starr put in silkily.

"An excellent idea! Come we make for Caradhras." Gandalf smiled gratefully at Starr.

Pippin snorted. "Gandalf would sooner smite her with his staff than smile at such a horrible excuse for a woman."

Everyone stared at him. Where did that come from!

"You know, maybe we'll get lucky and one of us will toss her off Caradhras…" Merry looked thoughtful.

Gimli shook his head. "Nay, we all 'like' her too much."

"Pity." Elrohir shrugged. "Maybe she'll trip."

"It's our only hope." Legolas whispered, looking a bit too optimistic. Because we all know that it ain't gonna happen.

Starr and Legolas led the way, past those floundering in the snow.

"She even skips the part with Boromir and the ring!" Aragorn said in disgust.

"Wait," Arwen began. "Why is she not also 'floundering'? She is no elf."

"Yeah, unless she can turn into an elf when it pleases her." Faramir agreed.

Starr had the ability to walk on snow, not due to Elvish grace, but rather a lightness of step and a lightness in general.

"Ah."

"Impossible!" Eowyn scoffed. "This story is getting more and more ridiculous."

"Just wait till someone has a death scene. It'll be, what, five, ten pages long?" Elladan smirked. Faramir looked thoughtful, so he added, "And when I say 'someone', I mean Legolas or Starr…" he pronounced her name with great sarcasm.

"Why?"

"Because they are the only ones that matter." Hoo boy, his words were just dripping with sarcasm!

Legolas looked grim. "Yet it's my only chance out of this story!"

Eowyn shook her head. "Nay. There is no doubt in my mind that she will find some way to bring you back."

Leggie groaned.

The snow blew harder than ever, causing Starr's long hair to whip around her. She paused along with Legolas as he stared into the blizzard, listening hard.

"There is a fell voice on the air!" he shouted.

"It's Saruman!" Grampa yelled.

"Is she trying to be funny again?" Pippin asked, turning to Merry, who shrugged.

Starr, due to her quick reflexes, notices the boulders tumbling down, and quickly pushes Legolas out of the way.

His eyes go wide. "My lady! You saved my life! I am forever in your debt!"

Starr blushed and giggled as he kissed her hand.

"Like she could POSSIBLY have better reflexes than an elf!" Elrohir said indignantly.

"He's gonna bring down the mountain! Gandalf we have to turn back!" someone shouted. I forget who.

"Sure, she remembers all Legolas's lines and maims ours beyond recognition." Aragorn grumbled. Arwen giggled slightly.

None were prepared for the avalanche to bury them all. Starr gasped as she found her vision obscured and her air cut off.

"Praise the Valar!" Elladan shrieked.

"Help!" she cried out, her voice muffled by the snow. A hand suddenly grasped hers, and pulled her up. She found herself in the strong embrace of Legolas.

"Mellamin? Are you alright?"

"Hannon lle, Legolas…I was so frightened!" she whispered, hiding her face in his tunic.

Some more talking, and one of the short dudes decided to take the mines of Moria or something like that.

Starr glared slightly at his back when no one was looking. A cave? If her hair got messed up, someone was gonna pay…And THINK of all the nasty creepy crawly things in the cave!

"Orcs?" Faramir suggested.

Starr made a face. She absolutely HATED spiders!

Faramir raised his eyebrows.

Thinking of the disgustingness that faced her, Starr longingly wished for a nice warm shower. She sighed wistfully. 'What I wouldn't give for a Starbucks coffee and a trip to Claire's!'

Everyone blinked, unsure of what to make of this comment.

Starr was brought back to reality by that hairy guy with the axes gasping in awe. "The walls of Moria! Dwarf doors are invisible when closed."

Gandalf nodded. "Yes, Gimli, there own masters cannot find them if their secrets are forgotten."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Legolas mumbled.

Starr's clear laughter rang out in the gloom, instantly lightening the mood of the entire Fellowship.

While Gandalf puzzled over the riddle on the door and yelled at random hobbit-thingies, Starr stood serenely next to the lake.

"Lady Starr, will you not sing us something to pass the time?" Boromir asked.

She smiled at him and nodded, while the others looked on eagerly.

"Something light and cheerful!" Pippin (the cute one) said in earnest.

"I'm cute, am I?" Pip said dryly. "Glad she knows my name."

Starr began, her sweet voice ringing out clearly into the night.

"I was so happy when you smiled,

Your smile breaks through the clouds of gray,

Far from the sunny skies that lie in sleep,

Waiting with patience for the spring,

When the flowers will bloom, renewed again,

Knowing there's more beyond the pain of today,

All though the scars of yesterday remain,

You can go on living as much as your heart believes,

You can't be born again, although you can change,

Let's stay together, always…"

A/N: That really is a song, the opening from Fruits Basket. It's a sweet song, and I needed something like that…

"Wow, I'm DAZZLED!" Arwen exclaimed with mock sincerity.

"You know, 'Dan, you didn't have to sing the song as well, you could have just read it…" Elrohir remarked.

Elladan grinned and turned back to the story.

"That was amazing!" Aragorn exclaimed.

"You have the most lovely voice!" Sam cried.

Starr giggled and gave them a peace sign. "American Idol, here I come!"

Voom! What was that? The sound of that remark going RIGHT over their heads!

"What is she talking about!" Faramir stared at the page over Elladan's shoulder.

She wandered gracefully over to the door, and stared up at the writing.

A look of understanding passed over her face. "Mellon…" she whispered.

The doors creaked open, and Gandalf stared at her in amazement. "Brilliant, lass, brilliant!"

Merry and Pippin were practically howling in anger. "It was Frodo who figured it out! FRODO!"

Gimli was busy annoying Legolas with the disgusting and undignified ways of the Dwarves. 'They would have been better off staying underground where people don' t have to look at them!' Starr rolled her eyes.

Now it was Gimli's turn to get pissed. "Why I oughta—"

"Peace, Master Dwarf. She is just an idiot." Eowyn said soothingly.

"This is no mine. It's a tomb!" Boromir gasped.

The smelly Dwarf begins to blubber like a loser, and Legolas pulls an arrow out of one of the skulls and exclaims knowledgably, "Goblins!"

Boromir is yelling again. "We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should have never come here! Now get out of here, get out!"

Then Frodo is grabbed by that octopus thingy.

"Watcher." Elladan and Elrohir chime in simultaneously.

Sam chops off the tentacle and Starr pushes Frodo out of the way, only to be grabbed by another tentacle herself.

"Ooo, what are the odds that the Watcher eats her?" Merry asked eagerly.

"Slim to none." Faramir replied dully. Legolas looked crest fallen.

She screamed as she was hoisted up extremely high.

"No!" Legolas yelled in despair.

"This is most unbecoming!" Starr shrieked. She aimed her knife and flung it at the monster. It embedded in its skull. It screeched and dropped her, right into Legolas's arms.

They raced into the cave as it was slammed shut.

As soon as Gandalf's light was on, Legolas was worryingly examining Starr. "Are you hurt, mellamin? Please tell me that beast did not harm you."

"I am fine." She replied bravely. "If not a little wet."

Assured that their fair female companion was not hurt, Gandalf turned and made his way to the stairs.

"We now have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world."

"Yeah, one of them just entered in the arms of Legolas here. The Balrog better freakin' beware." Aragorn said out of the blue.

A/N: Wow, this chapter is pretty long…I was so caught up in it. I'm having fun making this corny story, believe it or not, and the reviews are just icing on the cake. Lots and lots of yummy icing. (sighs, and looks thoughtful) I could really go for some cake right now….

Anyway, I have to go, since I have swim practice. There's a guy's meet tomorrow which I'm totally psyched for…since the guys are all smokin' hot!