Feasibility Study
Written by: Ms Maggs / Edited by: KJT

Epilogue – Part 5

Sunday, August 29, 2005
The Blakes
4:38 p.m.

Sara, wearing the rhinestone tiara Catherine had plopped on her head, sat in the chair of honor while Carrie, Tawny, Wendy, Lina and Catherine surrounded her holding their bridal shower gifts. "I can only imagine how embarrassing these gifts are going to be…especially yours, Catherine."

"I bought you a sampler box of gourmet honey," Catherine replied without an ounce of sarcasm. "Could anything be more normal?"

"Now I'm even more suspicious." Sara eyed the large, shiny-black bag and listened to the other women snickering. "Okay…I'm opening it first to get the major embarrassment out of the way." With trepidation she removed the bright yellow tissue paper. "I knew it." Reaching in she extracted the sampler box of gourmet honey and set it on the coffee table. "Cath…"

"Come on, Sara," Tawny egged her on. "Pull it out."

Wendy readied the camera.

Shaking her head Sara extracted the sexy bumble bee themed lingerie from the bag. "I'm guessing I'm supposed to use the two gifts together."

Carrie and Tawny made buzzing noises while Catherine explained, "As you know, bees are attracted to honey. So wherever Gil drips the…"

"Got it! Thank you, I love it." Sara returned it to the bag as she blushed. "Moving on."

"Mine next!" Carrie enthused, trying to help her friend get past the humiliation. She quickly pushed forward a large box wrapped in pretty pastel gift wrap. "I swear mine's not embarrassing."

"Okay, friend," Sara replied in a voice thick with doubt. In between nervously glancing around, she loosened the ribbon, tore off the paper and removed the lid. "Oh." Pleasantly surprised, she looked up smiling. "It really isn't humiliating."

"Ye of little faith," Carrie scolded. "It's everything you need to start your scrapbook, a book, lots of pretty paper, funky scissors, glue, calligraphy pens and a bunch of cut-outs and stickers…including bug-themed ones."

As she leafed through the supplies her smiled widened. "I think this will be a lot of fun."

Wendy chimed in, "It will be really fun if we do our books during a Ladies Night Out Scrapbook Party at that store in the strip mall on Palo Verde Drive. They let you bring your own wine and snacks. You eat, drink, gab and scrapbook the night away."

"Ooh," Tawny salivated at the mention of food and fun. "Count me in. I should have a lot of great pictures and stuff after my trip to California. I'm hoping for one in particular…me with a ring on my left hand!"

"Don't sweat it." Sara winked. "I know we'll be seeing that picture."

"Count me in too." Carrie thought of her camera full of memories. "I bought a ton of stuff for my book when I was at the store buying Sara's." Then, glancing at Tawny, she not so cryptically said, "I also purchased a third set of scrapbook supplies in case someone else I know has a bridal shower in the near future. I even bought some clown stickers."

Lina smiled at the young ladies and recalled how happy she was with her high school sweetheart turned husband. "This is such an exciting time. I'm enjoying watching you girls gush."

While Tawny and Carrie bubbled with excitement, Catherine droned, "Sorry, I'll have to pass…that scrapbook adventure sounds way too domesticated for me but…you can show me the books when you're done."

Sara rolled her eyes. "So you can pick on us?"

"Like I'm that shallow." When she saw the confirming stares she burst out laughing. "Okay, let's see what Tawny got ya."

On cue Tawny handed over the small pink bag.

"Is it a g-string?" She guessed, not sure what else would be in the tiny, lightweight bag. Slipping her fingers inside she found a gift certificate. "Ten Ballroom Dance lessons!"

Tawny giggled, happy to see a smile on Sara's face. "I think Gil's ready to tango. I know the instructor, she's fantastic. Originally the lessons were going to be my wedding present, that's why it's a couples thing rather than just for you." Feeling compelled to explain she said, "I was protesting what Greg picked to give you from the two of us but, after I saw the note he wrote to go with the gift, I decided to support it. That's how the dance lessons became your shower gift."

"Okay…" Sara tucked the paper inside the gift bag. "Now I'm really worried about what Greg picked."

"You worry too much, Sara." Lina handed over her box. "You need to learn to relax…especially before the baby arrives."

The woman's motherly smile eased Sara's nerves and she opened the package quickly. "This is great." Sara held up the book. "A Cuban food cookbook."

"Read the inside flap," Lina instructed.

Inside Sara found a note. "This book comes with lessons." She chuckled. "Good…because I'll need them. Just ask Wendy."

Wendy lifted her large heavy box and set it on Sara's lap. "Mine comes with lessons too because yes…I know you."

Now fully into the spirit of the occasion, Sara tore open the floral wrapping paper and opened the cardboard box. "I will definitely need the lessons." She showed off the contents…baking cookbooks, cookie cutters, cake pans in fun shapes, cupcake tins, and all the other required supplies to be the next super baking mom.

"I didn't recall seeing any of that stuff when I was helping you out in the kitchen," Wendy announced. "One of the books is just for children's birthday parties. There are a lot of neat cake ideas. I've used several over the years."

Suddenly overcome by the moment Sara softly said, "Even though I may be uncomfortable, I want you all to know I really appreciate all of you for the thought you put into the gifts and this party…and for caring so much…especially you, Cath, because we all know…because you remind us weekly, Gil and I wouldn't even be together if it weren't for your meddling. I'm really lucky to know all of you. You're my…" She choked out the last word. "…family."

"I know," Catherine confirmed.

"That was so…" Tawny's eyes welled on the spot. "Pregnancy hormones."

Sara saw Tawny wiping a tear and felt her own kick in.

Wendy reached for the box of Kleenex she had wisely placed on the coffee table. "Here…" she passed them out to both sniffling pregnant women.

A couple of minutes later, the sudden ring of the doorbell sent Tawny jumping out of her chair. "I'll get it!"

While Tawny answered the door, the women perused the gifts with Sara.

"Uh…Wendy…" Tawny's voice was thick with concern when she re-joined the group. "This police officer says he received a noise complaint."

The outrageously studly officer with the perfect tan tipped his hat. "Ladies…sorry to break up the party but…"

"Hey!" Sara leapt from her chair. "You're not LVPD. That's not the right uniform and…"

"Hit the music, Cath!" Tawny squealed. "Surprise!" Tawny hugged the man. "This is Todd. He's one of the best male dancers in the biz so sit down, Sara and be prepared to squirm!"

Catherine gently shoved Sara down into her chair.

"You got me a stripper!" The blushing bride was ready to bolt for the front door. "This isn't happening."

Lina, being a hot-blooded woman, chortled, "Remember, Sara…you need to relax more. This is a great way to start."

Hearing his music, Todd began to work his magic and after a minute of undulating moves, he ripped off his faux-uniform, leaving behind only his black mesh g-string.

"OH!" Sara jumped back when Todd bounded over. "How many socks do you have in there?"

"None, Baby!" Todd assured her during his grind.

Catherine leaned in. "You find that impressive, Sara?" She asked in a surprised tone. "Hmm..."

Tawny threw a pillow at Catherine's head. "Shut up."

And while Sara was mesmerized by the dancer's frontal assault, Wendy and Lina were enjoying the rear view. Leaning over Lina whispered, "I didn't know muscles were supposed to be in some of those places."

"Me either." Wendy polished off her wine and wondered if she'd be able to look at Paul the same again. "Whoa." After catching a profile of the Adonis, she used a nearby magazine to fan herself. "Forty-two is a very hormonal year apparently."

"Tell me about it." Catherine relaxed and enjoyed watching Sara turn six shades of red.

Tawny tried to help Wendy get over her longing. "Todd's gay," She whispered in her ear. "Does that help reduce the lust?"

"Not that much…no." Wendy reached for the wine bottle and refilled her glass. "Does anyone have any money on them?"

Catherine grabbed her purse and extracted a twenty. "Go for it, Honey, because Sara won't."

"What about Carrie?" Tawny pointed to her gaped-mouth friend across the room. "Methinks Todd is the biggest boy she's ever seen."

"She's only seen three in her lifetime and she told me Nick was the biggest." Wendy couldn't believe the blurt. "Okay, after this glass of wine…I'm cut off. And to be fair, Todd looks like he was exposed to some kind of growth-inducing gamma ray."

"Yep…that's why he pulls in the big bucks nightly. You should see the house he has with his partner…it's a mini-mansion." Tawny grabbed a twenty from Catherine's hand. "I love role reversal." Waving the money she howled, "Hey, pretty boy, come and get it. Show us what you've got."

"I need air," Sara panted when Todd finally removed himself from her personal space. "I didn't know men could move their hips like that." She promptly reached for her ice water and downed the contents.

After Tawny tucked the twenty in the side of her friend's g-string, she placed her hand on Wendy's shoulder, "Can you give my friend here some of your best slo-mo moves?"

"Hey, Sexy," Todd greeted the gushing woman in perfect bad-boy tone. "Tawny didn't tell me she had a hot kid sister."

"HA!" Wendy giggled like a school girl. "Todd, even though I know you're gay and what you just said is the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever heard…keep workin' it and tell me more!"

Finally cooled off, Sara moved to sit next to Carrie on the loveseat and said, "Can you believe…"

"No." Her eyes were still glued on what she was certain was the perfect male specimen.

"Have you ever seen one so…"

"Never."

"I guess that means Nick's a bit…"

"Not even close." Carrie finally peeled her eyes off the stud. "What about Gil?"

"Uh…no." Chuckling she joked, "Do you think Nick and Gil combined equal one Todd?"

"Not on a cold day." She cracked up. "Oh my God, this conversation is definitely under the protection of the sister rule!"

"OH!" Wendy shrieked when Todd straddled on her lap.

Laughing he remarked, "Tawny said this would be too much for Sara but I think you can handle it, Baby."

"If I stroke out, someone call 911." In between fits of laughter Wendy said, "You know…last year we kept trying to think of a way to get more women to come to our PTA meetings, maybe if we hired you…OH!"

When Sara and Carrie were laughing harder by the second, Catherine knew it was time for the finale. After placing a fifty on each side of Todd's g-string she pointed, "The conservative girls are trapped on the loveseat." Winking she took pleasure in giving the order. "Time to give them The Full Monty."

"What!" Carrie panicked as the man wiggled his eyebrows and gyrated over. "No! That would be like us cheating on our…OH!" Her eyes snapped open at the sight of the freed python. "No way is that real!"

Tawny belly laughed. "Imagine him driving the peg home, Carrie! Yikes!" Tawny shouted as she watched Sara's eyes pop from Todd's trademark move. "Yeah…I really doubt Gil will be as intrigued by his surprise dancer as Sara is by hers."

While the ladies were enjoying Todd's show, the men were in the backyard reclining in lounge chairs around the pool and bonding over premium Scotch and Cuban cigars.

Ron was especially appreciative of his time with Warrick and Nick who, now feeling a nice buzz, were freely sharing quality gossip about Gil. "What other good stuff do you have on my boy?"

Brass slapped his pal on the back. "Gil, too bad you don't supervise them anymore. You have nothing to hold over their heads. And since neither of them are due at work tonight or tomorrow, I don't feel compelled to cut them off."

Gil thought quickly. "Nicky…you keep blabbing to my father and I'm telling your mommy what you and Carrie did in my poolhouse."

"Too late." When Brass reached over to pour more whisky into his tumbler Nick didn't stop him. "She busted Carrie and me makin' love in the closet earlier and she's as ticked as a wet cat in a dog pound." His eyes darted from stunned face to shocked face. "Did I just say that out loud?"

"Which closet?" Paul asked, wondering how they managed to find room in the cluttered closets stuffed with toys, holiday decorations and miscellaneous junk. "The only one with any space is the master."

"Yeah…Carrie made me do it," He chortled into his now full glass. "In case Wendy's a germ-phobe like Sara, rest easy…we had a pool towel." Then he raised his glass. "Wait…why the hell are we embarrassing me when it's Grissom's turn in the spotlight?"

Greg was quick to point out, "Actually, you're embarrassing yourself and we're just listening." He grinned. "But you're right…we should get back to harassing the Bugman. Let's think…what's the most embarrassing thing Gris has ever done?"

Because he did have to work in the morning, Gil was painfully sober. Several embarrassing things came to mind and he sincerely hoped none were shared.

Brass immediately shattered Gil's wishful thinking. "About seven years ago, this geeky red-head named Connie had been working on Swing Shift for a few months when she got the crazy idea to ask out Gil. There I am in the Break Room with Warrick and Nick when she propositions The Bugman. You know what your boy said, Ron…and I quote…'sorry, I already have plans to study a decaying corpse at my body farm'. Then he darted out of the room leaving the four of us speechless."

Warrick shook with laughter. "The look on that chick's face when it registered that Gris would rather spend time watching bugs devour rotting flesh than eat dinner with her…dang. That was harsh."

Brass slapped Nick on the back. "As I recall, you felt so bad you offered to take her out on your next night off, telling her that Grissom was certifiable."

"Took her in is more like it," Warrick quipped. "Yeah…and after a little sympathy lovin' from Slick, she quit the next day. Remember that?"

"Hey!" Nick bellowed. "She coincidently got offered a great job in LA. And how the hell did we end up busting my chops again when we're supposed to be roasting Gris's ass? Focus people!"

"I've got one." Warrick couldn't wait to share. "Nick…remember that time he saw Sara walking into the lab after she got caught in a monsoon rain storm? She was wearing a tight white t-shirt and her hair was all curly."

Nodding, Nick added, "I specifically remember you saying if you didn't think of her like a sister you'd be makin' a move."

"That's right," Warrick sheepishly admitted in front of Grissom. "Anyway, she was in the hall talking to us as Gris was coming our way. Suddenly she tossed her hair back with stripper flair and said…"

Nick mimicked Sara's voice. "I can't believe how wet I am." Laughing he said, "Gris got so hot and bothered he slammed…not walked…slammed into the wall, spilling his case files everywhere."

Gil remembered it well and couldn't hide his smile.

Warrick nodded as he laughed in Gil's direction. "He blamed Greg. Said he cut him off in one of his hyper-fits. But we all knew the truth, the woman had sent him reeling. Yeah…Sara was walking on cloud nine for a week after he tossed her that scrap of hope."

Shaking his head Nick groaned. "When did that happen? Four years ago? You know Sara really loves you, Gris…to wait for your indecisive-ass all those years."

Greg raised his bottle of water and spoke like a television Ad man. "A lengthy courtship is so not me…that's why I chose the accelerated long-term commitment plan, getting the woman of my dreams pregnant on our first date."

"Me too." Ron tapped his water bottle against Greg's. "After the first year though…not the first date. But fifty years ago sex after a year was equivalent to sex on the first date."

"Yeah…and look how well that worked out for you, Dad." Gil immediately began choking on the foot he had inserted so skillfully in his mouth. "Which is absolutely no predictor of how well it will work out for you, Greg. My parents' situation was much different than yours and Tawny's. And why am I'm talking about this with any of you?"

Greg reminded him. "You're overtalking because you just insinuated Tawny and I are doomed to fail."

"Ah."

When Brass's pager went off he jumped up. "The adult entertainment has arrived, boys! I told her I would meet her at the side gate."

"Oh, thank god." Gil couldn't believe he was looking for one form of embarrassment to replace another.

Greg hurried over to the Karaoke machine, grabbed the microphone and cued the music. "The Brass Man is proud to present Vegas's most heralded exotic dancer of all time…the one, the only…the legend herself…Miss Roxie Delacroix!"

"Ooooooh, Gilllllllll!" Roxie cooed as she strutted into the backyard dressed in a silver miniskirt and a florescent pink blouse. "You know you've always wanted a piece of me."

"Roxie!" Gil shouted, relieved to see the whole stripper thing was a joke. "I'd love to really but, my dad is here and he's very conservative."

She promptly took a seat on the groom's lap and teased, "How much you got on you, Stud? For two hundred bucks we can go someplace private."

"There's a big walk-in closet in the master bedroom," Nick quipped while pulling forty dollars from his wallet. "You can thank me for this deflection later, Gris. Chuckles needs a lap dance, Roxie!"

"What!" Jittering a nervous smile Greg thought, if the Senior Stripper donned a flowered swim cap and jumped in the pool, she'd be his anti-boner fantasy come to life.

Gil couldn't believe the attention was shifting off him. "Thanks, Nick."

"I guess I still feel guilty for biting your head off over the Mifflin incident."

Roxie snatched the money.

Nick winked at her. "Here's the deal, Roxie…Chuck will be asking Tawny to marry him this time next week and he still has some oats to sow. I'm thinking you can cure him of all his impure thoughts."

Holding up his arms Greg pleaded, "Really I…"

"I'll pitch in another forty bucks." Brass grabbed his wallet. "Make it twice as long."

"Chuckles…" Roxie opened her arms. "Think you can handle me?"

"Uh…I'm not sure."

Warrick whispered in Brass's ear, "Twenty says she gets him hot."

"Sucker bet." Brass shook his head. "A stiff breeze used to get him hot before he had Tawny, I doubt things have changed much."

"Uh…" Greg watched the still spry sixty-something sexpot start to shake it to, You Can Leave Your Hat On. "Um…okay…uh…this is getting a little squicky…not because you're…it's just that…you remind me of my grandma and I'm already in therapy."

"Apparently Sanders only has a thing for his mommy, not his grandma," Brass snarked. "Sorry, Greg, that was really bad…even for me."

"You were soooo bad, Todd. It was great!" On the front step of the house Tawny hugged her friend goodbye. "Thanks so much for doing this for me. Once my fiancé-to-be and I are settled in our new place, we'll have you and Bruce over for dinner to thank you."

"Awesome." He released her from his mountain-man arms. "Hey…did you get another breast augmentation since I last saw you?"

"No…" She giggled. "I'm expecting…twins! The hormones are taking over my body."

"Twins? Congrats!" He nodded in approval. "You never told me who you're shacking up with. Is it Sam, the bouncer from…no wait…it's that guy I saw you with at the Mirage in April, isn't it? He was hott with two t's! Both of us were drooling, remember? Drew, wasn't it? You said he could be the one because he..."

"No! That guy turned out to be just another asshole who lied to me and used me." She glanced at her watch. "My future husband's name is Greg Sanders, he's a friend of the bride's and he's perfect. Oh shoot…I need to get back inside to get ready for cake. Thanks again! I'll call you." She shut the door behind her and cringed at the latest reminder of her past catching up to her.

Meanwhile, in the backyard, Greg had bribed his way out of the lap dance by promising Roxie he'd croon her a song on the karaoke machine. "Love me tender…love me sweet…take me to your heart."

"I loved Elvis," Roxie lamented. "And he loved me…for forty eight hours anyway."

"You knew Elvis?" Gil quizzed. "Intimately?"

"Do I look like the type of woman who would kiss and tell, Gil?" Roxie gave her famous chain-smoker laugh. "Hey, Chuckles, sing Devil in Disguise!" She winked at Gil. "That was my theme song, Baby."

Ron Grissom's Limo
5:17 p.m.

"Hey look!" Ryan pointed out the window. "There's fifty Elvises walking down the street."

Sean glanced out and said, "Technically, I think they would be referred to as fifty Elvi."

And while the boys argued the finer points of Elvis grammar and Lindsay watched TV, McKenna continued her own academic game. "There's three more X's grandpa!" She pointed to the large sign over The Sugar Shack. "How many is that?"

Ken Blake groaned, "Forty-seven."

"Do you think we'll see one-hundred X's before we go home!" The little girl enthused.

"I'm sure we will," Jillian assured her while snuggling baby Ashley. "Sometimes I really do question the idea of raising kids here." Rolling her eyes she wondered if Sin City hadn't contributed to her son's moral decay over the years.

The Blakes
5:20 p.m.

With Greg occupied singing to Roxie, Nick took the opportunity to secretly discuss future bachelor party plans. "Here's the thing…I want it to seem like he's getting the run of the mill booze and strippers Vegas style party but then do something completely different. Because let's face it…he's living with a pro, he doesn't need to see any dancing. But…I want to start things off at Tweeters because after all…that's where it all began."

Brass shook his head. "And ended, considering twenty-four hours later his fate was sealed."

"So what do you have in mind?" Gil prodded.

"I want to keep it small and make a weekend out of it. A real guys weekend."

Warrick laughed. "Now that's something he's probably never experienced."

"Exactly," Nick slapped his friend on the back. "So it has to be over the top."

"I think I can help," Ron announced through a grin.

"Me too." Brass deadpanned, "I'll work on getting his mommy to sign the permission slip allowing Greg to journey into adulthood."

Inside the kitchen, Wendy gave her husband all the supplies he needed for the next party event…playing The Newlywed Game.

"Let me make sure I've got this straight." Paul held up the list of questions. "I have the guys answer these four questions and write their answers on the pieces of posterboard you gave me."

"Right." Wendy held her list of questions. "I ask the women these four and write their answers down. Then, when we come together they answer each other's questions and we show the response to see if it matches."

"Got it." He leaned in and stole a kiss. Much to his surprise his wife kissed him back as if he were going off to war. "Wow. What's got you all revved up?"

Since she didn't want to tell him about Bruce, Wendy said, "All this wedding stuff has me reminiscing about our special day." She snatched another kiss.

"You know…I've heard our bedroom closet is a great romantic getaway."

"Huh?"

Celeste's Apartment
5:30 p.m.

A knock on her front door halted Celeste's tears. Standing, she asked in a sniffly tone, "Who's there?"

"It's me…David. Will you talk to me?"

"What's there to say?" Approaching the door she wiped her nose with a Kleenex. "I want kids and you hate kids. We were crazy for getting married without ever talking about something so important."

"Will you please open the door?"

After glancing at her reflection in a picture frame she moaned, "I look terrible."

"So do I."

Reluctantly she opened the door. "I hope you don't want any ice cream because I've eaten it all."

"I just downed two cheeseburgers on the drive over so I'm stuffed."

"You have mustard on your shirt." She pointed at the blob.

"I know." After a deep breath he explained, "I didn't want to take the time to go home and change because I had this idea."

"An idea?"

"Maybe I don't hate kids," He stated. "Maybe I just think I do because I've never been around them much."

"Well, I'm not having a kid only to find out later you hate them." She walked into the living room and immediately tripped over an empty pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Therapy Ice Cream. "Be careful…there's an empty pint of Chunky Monkey somewhere too. And you don't have the best luck when it comes to safety in my apartment."

"Thanks." After surveying the area he took a seat on the couch.

"I did some checking," Celeste announced. "We can get an annulment."

"I don't want an annulment."

"David…" Celeste spoke from the heart. "As crazy as I am about you…I'm not going to sell out. I want a family. I always have since I was a little girl."

"Here's where my idea comes in." He spoke anxiously. "We take some time to find out if I really hate kids or not. You know…get me some practical exposure, analyze whether or not it could work."

The studious scientist replied, "You mean like a feasibility study?"

"Yes! Exactly!" Hodges face was lit by the ray of hope Celeste was giving off.

"But it can't go on forever because my biological clock is ticking." She joined him on the couch.

"We'll agree on a reasonable study timeline." Hodges's rate of speech quickened in time with his heart. "And during that time we'll get to know each other better too."

"So even though we're married, we'll start dating."

"Right!" Reaching out he took her hand. "So…are you agreeing?"

"Yes!" She threw her arms around him. "Valentine's Day!"

"What?"

"That will be the end date for our feasibility study." Celeste nodded vehemently.

"It's the perfect day…" He gulped. "It's the day when many hearts are joined or broken."

"And five and a half months is plenty of time to get to know each other."

The Blakes
5:45 p.m.

In his best TV game show host voice Brass said, "Okay, couples…the object of the game…aside from embarrassing the hell out of all of you and getting the guys in trouble for not remembering silly romantic crap…is to find out how well you really know each other."

Warrick was still having a hard time with it. "I did not sign up for this. I came here to eat, drink and pick on The Grissoms."

"Sounds like you're a little worried, man," Nick teased. "As we all are."

They were worried because when Paul asked the questions, he did it on the sly and had Roxie secretly writing the answers down so the guys didn't know what was going on. The method elicited responses that were a little too honest for public exposure. Wendy, on the other hand, had been candid about the game with the ladies.

"Are you ready, Roxie?" Brass winked at his lovely assistant who had the cards stacked in piles on the picnic table.

"I'm ready, Brass Man." She gave her best Vanna White impression.

Each couple was seated in patio chairs while the audience, Paul, Wendy, Lina and Ron lounged in front of them ready to provide the laugh track.

"First we'll go through the questions the guys were asked about their ladies. So, ladies, you give us your verbal response and then Roxie will show you what your man made up…I mean remembered. We'll go in order every time…Catherine, Tawny, Carrie and Sara." Brass read from the list. "What was your woman wearing the first time you saw her?"

"I have no clue what I was wearing," Catherine replied as she massaged her man's thigh. "But Warrick was in the locker room wearing a beater and lookin' mighty fine."

Roxie flashed Warrick's answer. I'll guess a tight, low-cut shirt that showed off her assets because that's what she usually has on.

"That was a real safe guess," Sara teased her friend.

Tawny was eager to win a point. "My golden bird costume!"

Greg nodded as his answer was revealed. Her bird costume - a gold g-string, feathers and body glitter.

"Yes!" Tawny cheered as if she won a million dollars. "That was easy."

Brass quipped, "Just like Greg on your first date!" He provided his own rim shot. "Ba-dum-bum-boom!"

"Oh!" The audience loved it.

Gil and Sara sat holding each other's hands in preparation for the humiliation they were sure would be coming their way.

"Your turn Carrie." Brass couldn't fathom a joke for this boring answer.

"My stuffiest court suit."

Nick kissed his fiancée's cheek while Roxie showed his reply. A stuffy tweed court suit.

That's when Gil turned to Sara. "I didn't know why Paul was asking me and…"

"Couple number four! No conversing!" Wendy yelled. "Cheaters!"

Sara cleared her throat. "I was uh…wearing a Berkeley sweatshirt." She remembered thinking… I can't believe I'm wearing this dumpy sweatshirt when I meet this fascinating man!

Gil covered his face as his answer was revealed. A Berkeley sweatshirt that made her look so young. I knew she wanted me to ask her out for a drink but all I could think was…jail bait.

"We have a tie for 1st place," Roxie boomed.

Brass anxiously moved on to the next question. "What was the most significant thing that happened on your first date?

Catherine reclined in her chair sighing, "We went three delicious rounds and would have made it to four if Lindsay hadn't come home early."

Warrick's reply was a little less graphic. We kissed.

"Way to go, 'Rick!" Nick shouted.

Brass bowed down in front of the man. "My hero."

Tawny ended the worship session with her reply. "Greg knocked me up!"

Roxie flashed the answer.I got Tawny pregnant.

"We're kicking ass!" Tawny kissed her man.

Brass looked at the next answer that would be revealed. "Cavity warning for the next one!"

Carrie rested her head on her man's shoulder. "Nick convinced me to move to Vegas."

I fell in love with Carrie.

"Awww," All the women sincerely replied while the men said it to taunt their pal.

Sara rescued him with her answer. "Gil's beeper went off calling him into the lab right in the middle of the date I waited five flippin' years to have! I was ticked."

I got paged right in the middle of…something.

"That's a match!" Roxie declared. "Chuckles and Tawny are tied with Gil and Sara. Nick and Carrie are in second and Catherine and Warrick really need this next one." She laughed when she heard Brass read it out aloud.

"The first time your woman suffered from flatulence in front of you was it…silent but deadly, loud but mild, nonstop?"

"He'll say I never have," Catherine replied.

She's never farted.

Paul commented, "Smart man."

Tawny answered truthfully because she was more focused on winning than her pride. "Loud but mild." She remembered it well. It was right in the middle of some serious lovin' and when she was dying of embarrassment, Greg reciprocated to put her at ease. "We had Mexican food."

Loud and deadly. I had no idea such a gorgeous girl could produce such lethal gas.

"What!" Tawny gave her man a shove. "Loud and deadly wasn't even a choice!"

Carrie proudly gave her response. "Hasn't happened."

Brass pointed to Nick's reply card. Silent but deadly…seriously…like decomp bad. And she pretended nothing was wrong…so I did too.

"What! When!" Carrie glared at her hysterical fiancée. "Me? You're the one who has the problem."

"It was during…" He squeaked while cracking up.

"During what?"

Tawny prodded, "I'd quit while you're ahead, girlfriend."

"Nonstop!" Sara blurted, getting into the honest spirit of the game. "Gil made this vegetarian cabbage dish and I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I ate a bunch even though cabbage tears up my stomach. An hour later…disaster struck."

Gil was thrilled by the admission because now his honest reply wouldn't be so shocking.

Nonstop. I made cabbage for dinner and she ate it so she wouldn't hurt my feelings. Within an hour my entire townhouse was filled with so much gas I was running around snuffing out the candles for fear the place would blow!

Wendy tapped on her wine glass with a spoon. "The couple in the lead has to kiss!"

While Gil hesitated, Sara pounced.

"Todd's Full Monty really left her hot and bothered," Tawny teased.

"Who's Todd?" Greg waited for a reply.

"A friend who did me a favor for Sara's bridal shower – bachelorette party."

"HA! Don't you mean a big favor," Carrie embellished and then immediately regretted the blurt in front of her 'validation seeking' man. "Time for the next round!"

"Who's Todd!" Greg and Nick both boomed.

Catherine was happy to answer. "The well-endowed male dancer who entertained us while you guys were bonding over cigars and booze. But don't worry…from what I saw that time when the three of us had to share that HazMat shower, Todd's got nothing on the two of you."

"Oh." Greg and Nick relaxed while Sara and Carrie struggled not to laugh.

"Why wasn't I working the scene with you that day, Cath?" Brass pondered aloud. "Okay, Ladies…now the guys will answer your questions. We'll stay in the same couple order…Warrick, Greg, Nick and Gil. The first question was…What was your man's first pet?"

"A stray cat named Paws," Warrick admitted.

Roxie shook her head and revealed Catherine's guess.A goldfish named Fish

Catherine shrugged. "I was close…cats eat goldfish."

"A hamster named Skippy," Greg spoke confidently, knowing Tawny would remember.

Skippy the Wonder Hamster!

Tawny bubbled with delight. "I get to see his grave and pay my respects when I'm in California."

"Do you people really talk about this stuff?" Catherine inquired.

Greg leaned forward. "To answer your question, talkers definitely talk about this stuff."

Sincerely hoping Carrie knew better than to tell the truth Nick lied, "A golden retriever."

Roxie quickly flashed Carrie's far more embarrassing answer. A sheep named Squeaky

"Nicky! We just talked about this on our road trip," She gaped at her lying fiancé. "You told me you had a sheep on the ranch named Squeaky."

"Squeaky?" Brass took the joke fodder off the silver platter it had been handed over on, and ran with it. "Is that the noise the sheep made when you hugged her, Bo Peep?"

Nick slumped in his chair. "Darlin'…I wasn't admitting I had a sheep in front of these clowns because I'd never hear the end of it."

"I heard about boys and sheep in California." Greg stared at his buddy. "Dude…I thought that it was an urban legend."

"I raised it for 4H Club you bunch of sick freaks!"

"We'll ask his mom when she gets back," Wendy suggested. "If she doesn't know anything about Nick being in 4H, he's toast."

"I want to hear Gil's answer," Ron announced, taking the pressure off Nick and because he wanted to know if his son remembered it right.

"Ants and they didn't have names." Gil recalled the photo his dad had showed him earlier in the month. "You bought me an ant farm when I was a toddler."

Ants…too many to name

Sara's face lit up from getting the correct answer and from watching her husband exchange a smile with his father. "Would you expect anything else from a Bugman?" She pecked his cheek. "We're still in the lead."

"Next question." Brass cleared his throat. "Did your man have a childhood comfort item? Awww…here's where it gets real embarrassing…hopefully. For the record, my childhood comfort item was a pocket knife."

"A Teddy Bear named T," Warrick reluctantly admitted.

No freakin' clue was written on the card Roxie held.

Getting frustrated Catherine snipped, "Do you people really talk about this shit? Is this what you're doing instead of having more sex?"

Brass cheered, "Let's move on to embarrassing Greg."

"I know his!" Nick shouted. "It's so stupid."

"Hey…" Tawny turned to her man. "How come Nick knows and not me!"

Nick reassured her. "When you hear the answer you'll know why he didn't share."

"A stuffed donkey," Greg confessed.

"Mr. Peebles the Ass!" Nick embellished, still finding the concept as humorous as the first time Greg told him.

"I had one of those!" Roxie yelled. "One of my old clients was a Democratic Senator and he gave it to me in the seventies."

A blankie

"Not a match." Brassmoved on."Okay, let's hear what you had, little Nicky."

"Hey, I was normal. I had a blue blanket." He sat back, confident that no jokes could be made from that information.

Carrie's reply took up both sides of the large card. A light blue blankie. His mom gave it to me for safe keeping when I was in Dallas. It's really tattered from washing it so much. If Nick snored and drooled back then like he does now, I bet his mom was washing it all the time.

As Nick lowered his head Brass stated, "No wonder he loved and left the ladies all those years…he didn't want them to catch the show. Isn't that right, Linus?"

"A chemistry set," Gil answered, shifting the focus.

Roxie was thrilled to reveal Sara's answer. A chemistry set. "You two haven't missed one yet!"

Brass snickered, "Let's see how they do with this one. What is the most risqué place you and your man have ever made whoopee?"

The audience cheered and Lina remarked, "Now we're getting to the good stuff."

Before replying Warrick asked, "We're all friends here today, not lab co-workers who will report ethics violations, right?"

"Spill it!" Sara ordered. "I knew the rumors were true."

"Cath's Tahoe," Warrick confessed. "But it was three o'clock in the morning and we were on a break waiting for Nick to get back with food."

"You sent me for food so you could get it on?" Nick snapped. "Nice. For the record, I've never had any type of romantic interaction on or in County property during shift."

Brass had no problem finding the holes in Nick's story. "So are you saying you did after you were off the clock and not in a romantic capacity?"

Roxie held up Catherine's card. "Check this out." Grissom's Office

"What!" Gil and Warrick both yelled.

"Gris…she's lying." Warrick shot a dagger towards his mate. "That never happened."

"Yeah…I lied," Catherine snickered. "I just wanted to see your freaked out reactions. Thanks for not disappointing me."

"Okay, Chuckles…" Brass prompted. "Let's hear it."

He shrugged. "The shower? Because it's slippery and we could have fallen."

The reply left the group in stitches.

"Genius!" Tawny popped him in the arm. "That would be risky, the question was risqué."

"We've never done it anywhere risqué!" He countered. "We've only been at your place or mine. What did you say?" He looked over to see the card.

The couch

"The couch is risqué?" Greg needled. "How?"

"You got me pregnant on the couch."

"Because I was being risky, not risqué."

Wendy felt compelled to yell, "You do remember the rest of us are here, right?"

"Oops." Tawny pointed. "Nick's turn."

"Wendy and Paul's bedroom closet a few hours ago."

"Oh my god!" Carrie felt her entire body blush. "I can't believe you just said that in front of everyone."

"Don't worry, Sis." Wendy choked on her laughter. "I was going to get the carpets steam-cleaned after the party anyway."

Roxie thought this would be a great time to flash the card. Gil and Sara's Poolhouse

Catherine eyed her mortified friend. "So, is this some sort of fetish, Blake? Sneaking off during parties? I tell ya…it's the quiet ones wearing the stuffy tweed suits you have to watch out for."

Brass upped the suspense by saying, "Sara's answer is even more risqué than Carrie's but…will Gil tell the truth?"

Gil stared at his wife. "You answered honestly?"

"She can't say!" Wendy yelled, enforcing the rules once more.

Sara averted her eyes.

"Um…"

Ron assured his son. "You're forty-nine and married, Gil, I won't ground you."

"Funny you should put it that way, Dad." In the spirit of the game Gil confessed, "An airplane bathroom."

Roxie waved the card. "Ding ding!" In the bathroom at 30,000 ft

"No way!" Catherine jumped out of her seat. "Mr. Private and Mrs. Germphobe are members of the mile-high club!"

Brass did a double-take at the card. "Shocking!"

"Time for the bonus round," Wendy announced. "But give us a score update because I've lost track."

Roxie did as requested. "Gil and Sara are in the lead with six, Greg and Tawny are second with three and the other two are tied for last with two."

Lifting his sheet of questions Brass said, "The bonus round doubles your score. So, only two couples have a shot at winning but everyone plays because there's more potential for embarrassment that way." Pretending to adjust the tie he wasn't wearing Brass read the question. "If your man was a bug, what bug would he be?"

Catherine kicked backed in her chair. "I'm sure Gil talks about this fantasy all the time but Warrick…not so much." She anxiously waited for her man's answer.

"A spider." His lips spread into a smile. "Then I could restrain Cath, or block her mouth with a web whenever I wanted to catch the scores on ESPN uninterrupted."

The men smiled approvingly and Paul said, "I think we're going to get along just fine as neighbors, Warrick. I like the way you think." He stopped talking when Wendy socked him.

"And Catherine's answer was…" A praying mantis because he's big and thanks god for me all the time.

"And I like the way she thinks," Wendy quipped.

"This is easy," Greg spoke confidently as Tawny gnawed her lip hoping they could tie for the lead. "A cricket because they're jumpy and they're always making noise."

"DOH!" Tawny pounded her fists on her lap. "I almost said that!"

Roxie made boo-boo lips and flashed the card. A bee because he's always buzzing.

Carrie went into litigious mode. "Clearly the intent is the same...hyperactive and noisy…even if the bugs selected are different."

Brass shut her down. "Over ruled!"

"Okay then," Carrie clapped her hands. "Gil and Sara can't lose. Game over!"

"Nice try, Missy," Brass goaded.

Carrie couldn't believe her ears. "Nicky! You told him my fantasy role play name on vacation was Missy! That was really personal stuff. I was working out my emotional baggage with you that night." Crushed she said, "I can't believe you'd share that stuff with the guys."

"Uh…I didn't, Darlin', but you just did." Nick massaged his forehead. "I think Jim was using Missy as a figure of speech."

"Oh." She realized every pair of eyes was boring down on her. "Well…after that little bit of embarrassment, I don't really see how this next question will hurt."

Feeling bad for Carrie, Nick pulled her in his arms. "I'd be a love bug…and I'd only love you."

"Here you go, Stokes." Brass held up a small piece of paper. "This is a claim check for your manhood, you can pick it up after the party."

"This will end the saccharine moment," Roxie teased as she flashed Carrie's answer. A stink bug because of his smelly feet…just kidding! Hey! What do you mean my first answer counts. I want to see the rules of this game.

"Sorry," Carrie covered her face.

"Alright, Gil." Brass had a feeling Sara was right about this one. "I know it's probably difficult for you to choose amongst the many wonderful bugs out there but…"

Looking at Sara he gave the answer. He was sure she had said the same because she had asked him once. "A beetle on a corpse…that solves the crime of century."

"Yes!" Sara jubilated as her answer was displayed. "It may have taken five years but we know each other perfectly!"

A beetle on a corpse. Yeah…I know it's gross, but it's so him.

"Tell them what they've won, Jim!" Catherine couldn't wait.

"Sara and Gil, we have a bevy of fabulous wedding gifts for you and a hefty dose of humiliation but before we get to it, you need to step into the house for a moment with Catherine and me."

"This can't be good," Gil groaned.

In her husband's ear Sara whispered, "Don't tell anyone but…I'm having a really good time."

Author's Notes:

I was just having too much fun at the party to wrap it up. Epilogue Part 6 (the final chapter!) will post on Wednesday and I swear it's the last chapter! I hope you got some laughs. The final chapter will post Wednesday and my website (accessed via my homepage link here) will have a new story preview.

Thanks!

Maggs