Midnight of the Soul

Author: Mother CHOW Goddess

Rating: T for swearing, violence, mention of abuse,attempted rape; Shonen-Ai; SK x RB

Summary& Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1. Companion piece/Sequel to 'Weight of a Feather: Breaking Strain' - Kaiba tries to understand what happened in Domino Park, but comes up with more questions than answers. First Person POV.I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or any of the characters thereof. They belong to Kazuki Takahashi/ Shueisha Inc., FUNImation Productions, 4Kids, etc.

Chapter Three: The Noon Day Sun

As I boot up the library computer, I tell myself that I'm not really working; I'm just tying up some loose ends from Battle City, settling some questions in my mind about how things got so out of hand during those last few days. Working would involve KaibaLand, and phone calls to America, and maybe firing a few of those suit-wearing idiots I was trying so hard to avoid ripping to shreds yesterday. Working would involve contacting Kaiba Corp.'s PR division and telling them to outsource the advertising campaign for the new 'Tokyo Samurai' Virtual Reality game because they are blithering morons and we need a fresh viewpoint, and by the way, I want Hiwatari-sensei from school listed as a historical consultant (keh, I can hear the screams of rage and disbelief already-- what can I say? The man deserves it, for making History class not only bearable but interesting last term!). Working is what I do in my office, whether here in the mansion or the KC tower; what I'm doing right now in the library is indulging my curiosity, scratching an itch that just won't go away….

' …if you'd been paying attention to anything besides those damned God-Cards…'

Damn it. The deeper I dig, the more obvious it becomes: there were serious flaws in the Battle City Tournament from the very beginning, flaws that I ignored because I was so tightly focused on my own agenda. Flaws that people other than myself exploited, to the detriment of the Duelist community and possibly to Kaiba Corp.'s reputation in the gaming industry should anyone else realize the true extent of participant manipulation that occurred. Out of the eight semi-finalists only Mutou Yuugi, Kujaku Mai, Jounouchi Katsuya, and myself held any sort of official Duelist ranking prior to the tournament. Of the others, Marik and his decoy were Dueling under false pretenses and using irregular if not illegal methods of play; Isis Ishtar was either an extremely talented amateur with delusions of grandeur or using equally irregular playing methods, and Bakura Ryou….

Never mind that his official Duelist ranking was nearly non-existent and therefore hardly qualified him to participate in the first place; that certainly hadn't stopped the inu, or the Ishtars or the Rare Hunters. Never mind that he'd apparently acquired his duel disc and the necessary locator cards using highly irregular methods. Bakura shouldn't have been able to walk, let alone Duel that night. Not with Yuugi, not with anyone! While Yuugi and I were searching for his friends that afternoon, Bakura had been in the emergency room being treated for stab wounds to his left arm; while we Dueled against Lumous and Umbra to save Mokuba, Bakura lay in a room at Domino General receiving IV treatment for severe blood loss. And at some point while Yuugi Dueled a brainwashed Jounouchi at the docks, Bakura had disappeared from his room leaving behind an unconscious Mutou Sugoroku and a pack of confused and clueless doctors.

When the so-called 'Namu' had entered the stadium and been greeted so enthusiastically by Yuugi-tachi, I'd pretty much tuned out the rest of their conversation after nearly gagging when 'Namu' talked about that make inu being an inspiration, dismissing the newcomer as being one of their 'friendship circle'. Maybe I should have suspected something then, that a total unknown could succeed so quickly against so many other highly ranked Duelists. Yet, it had happened before -- at Duelist Kingdom the Mutt had started out as zako and finished Second, as he is so fond of loudly boasting to one and all. I'd sooner be flayed alive with a Rose-Whip than admit it, especially within his hearing, but -- Jounouchi Katsuya has potential. I've seen the recordings of his Duel against Yuugi at Duelist Kingdom; I was studying Yuugi's technique at the time but even I can't deny it, especially now. When he's focused the make inu is formidable. I saw it again during his Duels against both the false Marik on the Battle Ship, and the real one at the Tower; if he'd been able to direct his last card before collapsing, Jounouchi would have won against that psycho. Not that I'll ever tell him so, of course, but he almost had me at the Dueling Tower. If he cleaned up his deck, worked on his strategy, stopped making amateur mistakes and depended less on luck for his victories, the Mutt might actually live up to his over-inflated opinion of his Dueling prowess.

So it wasn't unprecedented for a near-beginner to make it to the Tournament Finals, especially if said beginner was a 'friend' of Mutou Yuugi. Perhaps I should have paid more attention to complaints about unregistered duel discs and stolen cards…. I should have, but I shrugged them off. After all, one of the hidden purposes of Battle City was to flush out the Rare Hunters that Isis Ishtar had mentioned and if the make inu could recover from an early loss, then any Duelist worthy of the name should have no trouble doing the same.

Then Bakura had walked into the arena, and I swear the entire -tachi turned into a flock of mother hens! 'Bakura, what are you doing here?' 'You should be in bed, man!' 'Are you all right?' 'We need to get you back to the hospital!' 'You've got a duel disc?' Good question, that last one, which never was answered properly during all the clucking and fussing. Apparently Bakura had been the victim of an unscrupulous Rare Hunter early in the Tournament and injured seriously enough to require a trip to the hospital. And it was the Mutt's new bosom buddy 'Namu' who'd found him and helped get him to the emergency room? Again, that should have set off the alarms in my head -- it was shortly afterwards that the Mutt, Mazaki and Mokuba had been attacked and kidnapped by the Rare Hunters -- but we were all distracted as the man believed to be Marik Ishtar appeared.

The make inu completely forgot about trying to get Bakura back to the hospital and started snarling and growling at the Egyptian duelist, and for once I totally agreed with him! I should have disqualified that bastard right then and there, I even told him so -- for kidnapping and endangering Mokuba, and disrespecting the Kaiba name, HAH! But I'd wanted those damned God cards….

Kidnapped by the Rare Hunters, hypnotized by Marik -- it was the only explanation that made sense. That maniac had repeatedly threatened to use Yuugi's 'friends' against him to win the God Cards and had done so, spectacularly… and Bakura was Yuugi's friend. That had become quite obvious during their Duel, when 'Marik' had released Bakura from his hypnosis and the boy had collapsed onto the Dueling Deck. Mutou had nearly forfeited, unwilling to injure his friend further. Then why had he changed his mind and attacked?

With a sigh, I rest my aching head against one hand and close my eyes, unwilling to see the damning information on my computer screen. Not that it helps, with my near-photographic memory so capable of retrieving details from a report I'd read but not fully understood at the time, impatient with the fragilities of the human body; caring only that the boy's condition was not immediately life-threatening, and did not require emergency treatment that might postpone what I conceived as my ultimate triumph.

Patient exhibits symptoms of physical exhaustion and hypothermic reaction, most likely caused by exsanguination and exposure to hostile environmental conditions. In layman's terms: severe blood loss, electrical shock and a wind chill factor of minus something.

Recommend IV drip, transfusion to counteract blood loss. Patient has previously received treatment for deep lacerations to upper left forearm, possibly self-inflicted(?). No, that I can't accept; it doesn't fit with what I know of Bakura, that he would deliberately injure himself…but then, apparently I don't know Bakura as well as I'd thought I did.

First degree burns on center torso, symptomatic of recent contact with over-heated metal and/or synthetic materials; may result in scarring. Don't mince words, doctor, we're all adults here; the boy was branded. Like a criminal … or a piece of property. Quite obvious, once you've actually seen the mark.

Semi-circular pattern of puncture wounds in varied stages of closure across center torso, apparently sustained over a period of some months. Again, I'd been unwilling at the time to recognize signs of systematic abuse because to do so would be admitting too close a similarity to my own past. Admitting my own weakness and shame.

Why does this bother me so much? What am I missing here?

I reach out to shut down my computer -- no sense leaving it on; my eyes are stinging so much I can't even focus on the screen…and never you mind why my eyes hurt! -- and my hand brushes against the notepad I've been scribbling on, knocking it to the floor. Nothing important, just doodles….

Of a triangle inside of a circle. And inside the triangle, one of those damned Egyptian-stylized eyes.

Like the symbol on Yuugi's pendant. Like the symbol on that freaky scepter thing Marik kept waving around during the tournament. Like the symbols on the stone tablets in the Domino Museum that Isis Ishtar insists reveal my past life and destiny.

Like the mark on Bakura's chest.

'Afraid of losing again?'

'Afraid of winning… I don't like who I become when I Duel…'

No. I refuse to believe that nonsense about 'other selves' and reincarnated Egyptian pharaohs and priests! Duel Monsters is just a card game, not some mystical hocus pocus ritual involving destiny and saving the world from the Shadow Realm. It's a fairy tale, a lie…. I am not….I don't….

Mutou Yuugi believes it. So does that pack of baka he calls friends. So do the Ishtars, obviously; belonging to some obscure religious cult that has managed to infect some of the top Duelists in the world with their insanity. Pegasus had that false eye….

Could I be wrong?

When Yuugi Duels it's almost as if he becomes another person, confident and determined -- ruthless. I've seen it. Mokuba's seen it, too. It's not just Yuugi, either. Marik -- the real one, not his decoy -- changed also, at the end of that final Duel with Yuugi as if he'd been struck by a lightning bolt of sanity instead of Dark Magic attack. And Bakura …. I think that Duel with Yuugi is the only time I've actually seen him play Duel Monsters. And the person Dueling that night was not the quiet, self-effacing Bakura I'd seen so often hiding in the school library or loitering wistfully on the fringes of the -tachi. Definitely not the anxious and concerned boy with whom I traded insults in the park yesterday afternoon.….

Damn it…. I'd actually enjoyed Bakura's carefully polite retorts to my jabs! They'd displayed a creativity and -- dare I say it? -- a sense of humor that's lacking in most of my exchanges with, say, the Mutt, or even Yuugi. That wry comment about taking me home to his grandparents to learn manners… I'd almost laughed! I admit it, I was intrigued; I wanted … something more than insults, I don't know exactly what. I wanted to Duel Bakura myself, to see what would happen….

He refused, and tried to walk away. I wouldn't let him. I kept pushing. He lost his temper, I lost mine…

My God, he thought I was serious! Is that really the way the others see me? Why didn't he just keep walking? Why did he let me push him into a corner? Why the hell didn't he run when he had the chance? Damn it, Bakura, you picked a really bad time to stand up to a bully! I would have let you go, after watching you squirm a bit… at least, I meant to….Why did you have to fight back like that? Why did you….

Your eyes changed. Like they did on the Battle Ship, blazing with fury and hate and …. Suddenly I was on the ground and you stood there glaring and all I could see was the Bakura who mocked and taunted and threatened….I had to stop you. Crush you… defeat and destroy my opponent…

Why am I shaking like this? It's over. I won…

Didn't I? You're lying there, unmoving… no, you're still breathing, I didn't kill you thank God, there's still time … you can't get away; I've got you trapped, Bakura….I have the upper hand, you've lost…

"Mr. Kaiba, sir?"

Ahhh! Give me a heart attack, Isano! "What?" I snap back, trying to conceal my startlement with a typical bad-tempered response. My pulse is racing from the shock, and I'm not certain whether to be angry or glad to have my brooding interrupted. Glad, I think…. Not that I plan to let him know that. I push away from the desk and get to my feet. "Well?" I demand, raising an eyebrow at my right-hand flunky. "I assume you have some lame-assed excuse for barging in here --" I leave it hanging, and I stifle a laugh at his obvious discomfort.

"Your motorcycle, sir…." And I tune out the rest of the details of this dent and that repair, and the part that has to be special ordered. My motorcycle. My Blue-Eyes White Dragon in gleaming metal and screaming horsepower. My freedom, and the catalyst for yesterday's disaster…

"Get rid of it."

"…Sir?"

"Have it repaired and get rid of it," I reiterate coldly.

"But…"

"Do it."

"…as you wish, Mr. Kaiba."

"Isano." He waits patiently while I pull my thoughts together. "Make sure that one of the usual charities benefits." Isano knows what I mean; we've done this before, though not usually with such a personally customized article. I won't ask and he won't tell, but I know that in a day or so one of the city's homeless or domestic violence shelters, or food banks, or one of the orphanages will receive a large anonymous cash donation. This is my penance, my partial atonement for losing control over myself; depriving myself of a source of pleasure and wresting some good from myevil. I still have the jet, after all, not as convenient when I need to get away but also not as likely to create traffic problems or inadvertent injuries to those unfortunate enough to cross my path.

"Sir."

"Remind me when it's time to pick up Mokuba," I add as he's leaving and he bows slightly in acknowledgment, then I'm alone again with my thoughts and my darkness.

Author's Note: And Kaiba's journey through denial continues…. Chapter Three's title comes from a well-known quote regarding 'mad dogs and Englishmen' -- thank you, my dear readers & reviewers for your patience. Reading over this again, I realize that Chp. 3 might seem almost a re-write of Chp. 1, but keep in mind that this is Kaiba we're talking about -- he worries at things until he's satisfied! Plus, in Chp. 3 he's pretty much wide awake...

Later, 'gators!