Chapter Twelve: The Desperately Trying to Fill in Loose Ends and Plotholes Chapter

Starr stared around her in awe.

Awe that a place could be so…so…

Boring. And messy.

Honestly.

Then Gimli goes and licks a berry, and splutters. "Orc blood!"

Starr looks over at him sympathetically. "Oh, dear Gimli, if you're hungry I have some Power Bars in my pocket…"

"What is this Power Bar she speaks of?" Elladan wondered aloud. "Does it add to your strength?"

"Perhaps it is the source of her invincibility!" Elrohir suggested.

"These are strange tracks." Aragron muttered.

"The air is close in here." Gimli whispers.

"I'm feeling claustrophobic," Starr said softly, pressing a hand over her heart, about to swoon. "It's hard to breathe…"

Legolas took her up in his arms, holding her close. "Now you shall not have to walk."

Starr giggled and batted her eyelashes at him.

It was then they noticed that Gandalf was gone. Must've wandered off, the senile old git.

But no one cares, so mooooving on…

"This is her pathetic attempt at getting the storyline more or less back on track?" Merry asked, an incredulous look on his face.

"This forest is old. Very old. Full of memory and anger."

Starr shivered and drew closer to her Prince. His blue eyes stared around, giving her a chance to look at him closer. His blonde hair cascaded over his shoulders, shining faintly in the dim light of the forest, his pale skin not marred by any scratch or dirt. He was truly an angel.

"Awwwwwwww!" Chorused Elladan, Elrohir, Merry, Pippin, and Gimli all together.

If looks could kill, all five of them would've died VERY painful deaths, right there.

"Gimli!" Starr snapped. "Put down your axe! You're scaring the trees!"

"I'm trying to picture her attempting to look stern while being CARRIED, and all I get is a really funny picture." Pippin said thoughtfully.

"Aragorn! Nad no ennas!" Legolas whispered loudly. (Something's out there!)

"Man cenich?" the handsome (Arwen growled) Ranger replied. (What do you see?)

"I'm surprised she actually got the Elvish right." Gimli grumbled.

"The White Wizard approaches."

Starr shivered with anticipation as they all drew her weapons. She held her twin daggers in her hands.

A bright light suddenly appeared, and they all shielded their eyes.

"Woah, I'm getting hardcore dejavu!" Starr whispered.

She swore loudly in Elvish as the handles of her blades turned white-hot.

The figure conversed with them for a little while, but Starr was too busy trying to remember this part in the movie.

'Oh, of course!' she thought, mentally smacking herself.

"Not hard enough!" Elladan said with fake cheer.

"Gandalf!" she cried.

The figure frowned and the light faded, indeed revealing the old-as-dirt wizard.

"Oh, just you…" muttered the three males.

"I was TRYING to be dramatic."

"Quit being such a drama queen and let's go." Starr rolled her eyes heavenward.

"I have no idea what a drama queen is, but I am sure Gandalf is not one!" Eowyn said shrilly.

"Why did you wander off anyway, Gandalf?" Aragorn questioned.

"Gandalf…yes, that is what people call me…"

"Looks like it's time for your medication!" Starr put in cheerfully.

The five of them continued on their way through Fangrom. Starr decided to entertain them by taking a popular song from a cute movie and using it to her own needs.

"Just keep walking, just keep walking, just keep walking, what do we do, we walk walk walk!"

Then she started on another favorite.

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, on everybody's nerves, on everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes! I know a song…"

"ENOUGH! ENOUGH!" Screamed all present as Elladan began singing the song.

"Hey, I kinda like this song!" he said, grinning.

"Now we're gonna have to hear it all the way back to Rivendell, and for the next hundred years THERE, and when Ada (let's just pretend he's still there) finds out who taught him it, he'll want to murder her as well." Elrohir groaned.

"The poor Elves may just go insane," Faramir said sadly. "What a pity, since there aren't that many left on these shores, and I fear that the four in this room are too far gone already…"

Everyone in the room WAS in various stages of crazy. Legolas was in the fetal position in his chair, sucking his thumb. Elladan was next to Elrohir, and both wore identical expressions of indifference. Hey, as long as there were no more "scenes", Elrohir would be fine…

Gimli looked pissy. He had just been insulted viciously. Faramir and Eowyn held hands and looked half amused and half annoyed. Aragorn was twitching slightly. He was a lesser victim of Sue's interests, but still a victim. Arwen was looking extremely defensive, ready to jump at the throat of any girl who got too close to her man. Can you blame her for being paranoid?

The hobbits were so immersed in the incredible stupidity of the fic, they had forgotten about second breakfast, since it was already morning. They had stayed up all night, lost in Mary Sue idiocy.

"How bout we grab some breakfast, and come back to finish this?" Elrohir suggested. After emptying his stomach the night before, he was rather hungry.

Legolas brightened significantly and was out of the room in a flash, the now-hungry hobbits right on his tail.

Faramir and Aragorn were the last two out. They shared an unsure glimpse at the open monstrosity on the table.

"I just hope it doesn't escape and run loose around the castle…" Faramir whispered fearfully.

Aragorn nodded. "It feels like it could…"

They squared their shoulders and marched out. No sissy pink book was going to scare them. HA! They were manly men!