Rating: T for swearing, mention of violence, abuseand attempted rape; Shonen-Ai; SKx RB.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or any of the characters thereof. They belong to Kazuki Takahashi/ Shueisha Inc., FUNImation Productions, 4Kids, etc. Neither do I own 'Migraine-Strength aspirin', except as any consumer might. But I know from personal experience - the stuff works!
Summary: Companion/Sequel to 'Weight of a Feather: Breaking Strain' - Kaiba tries to understand what happened in Domino Park, but comes up with more questions than answers. First Person Seto's POV.
Midnight of the Soul
Chapter Four - Post Meridian
I am, by the way, quite aware of what time Mokuba's school day ends; the fact remains that I am equally aware that I have a tendency to get caught up in whatever project I happen to be working on at the moment and lose track of time - hence my request for Isono to remind me. This has become a recent practice of mine since we returned from America, whenever my schedule permits (and sometimes when it doesn't): to be in the limousine and accompany Mokuba back to the mansion after school. I can't always stay, but at least we have that fifteen to twenty minutes together most days, even if I have to go back to Kaiba Corp immediately afterwards. I hate to admit being grateful to that Noa imposter, but almost losing Mokuba in that Virtual Reality world shook me. Badly. To say I've been making an effort to spend more time with my brother and to appreciate him properly would be an understatement. It is hard; I have to constantly make conscious decisions to respond positively to Mokuba's presence and requests instead of the all-too-automatic 'not now, Mokuba'. It's becoming easier, though - a new habit, one might say. Except - I don't ever want to realize that I've been taking my little brother for granted again. Even if it's in a good way.
Glancing at the library clock, I discover I still have several hours to kill. Or be killed….an image from the nightmare earlier flashes through my mind, that horrible moment of holding Bakura's limp lifeless body in my arms and knowing - knowing - that it was my fault somehow, my doing that placed him in that situation….
It should have been me, Bakura… I'm the one who should have been the sacrifice….
Whoa! Where the hell did that come from?
My head feels like some demented percussionist is doing a drum solo inside my cranium as I stumble and nearly fall back against my desk. Almost of its own volition my hand hits the intercom button.
"Yes, Kaiba-sama?"
"Migraine-strengthaspirin - do we have any?"
"… Hai, Kaiba-sama….demo…"
It seems Mokuka has also 'briefed' the house staff. "I have a headache, not a concussion," I snap, then regret my harshness and sigh. "Arigato, Midori-kun, I appreciate the concern but I would appreciate the aspirin even more. If you please."
"…of course, Kaiba-sama…. Gomen... "
Which unfortunately conjures up the memory of an apologetic and anxious classmate offering assistance I certainly don't need and reject as nastily as possible. A classmate who then cleverly and oh-so-politely makes it clear that since I'm going to be that way about it, then I can just go f-ck myself, and have a nice day…. Except that's not quite what he says, now, is it? And me being who I am, I can't let it pass.
'You challenged me. I accept.'
I know that he didn't mean it that way. I may be a behaviorally-challenged cold-hearted bastard sorely lacking in all but the very basic social skills outside of the business world, but even I can recognize the difference between a provocative invitation and an unfortunate slip of the tongue. And I know that it's cruel of me to tease the boy, to find his stammering evasions amusing…. I want to see what he'll do, though. Bakura has piqued my interest, with his odd combination of courtesy and temper…by turns shy then sarcastic; frightened, then almost threatening, then….
Then….
I fully intended to let him go. I didn't mean it any more than he did. I truly expected Bakura to stammer more apologies or attempt an explanation, such as: 'I'm sorry, Kaiba-kun, I think you misunderstood, I don't think of you that way, really I don't…'; or maybe a defensively flirtatious 'really, Kaiba-kun, you don't have to be so rough, just ask next time…', and I would have snarled something snidely contemptuous or disgustedly dismissive and that would have been the end of it. Should have been the end of it.
I did not expect Bakura to break my grip, to throw my bluff back in my face, to… to…go BattleCity on me and put me on the ground. I…snapped. Lost control. Went ballistic… pick your favorite expression, they all mean the same thing. I had to take Bakura down, hard… I needed to take him down, to blot out the memory of my failure at Battle City, to wipe that mocking sneer off his face, to stop the laughing, those flashing red-brown eyes filled with hate and contempt and power …
Still defiant and full of contempt for me, me, Kaiba Seto! even though he's been knocked breathless and I've got him pinned, helpless and unable to move. I can break him, I know how: Gozaburo, damn his black soul, saw to that; he taught me well. I have control now, I have the power and Bakura knows it. I can see it in his eyes. He knows what I can do, and I can see the fear….I can almost taste it…
That's power, that's strength, that's control…. to do what I want, take what I want. You glare at me still, refusing to surrender, refusing to give me my victory ….bruised and battered but unbroken, afraid yet still defiant … Silver-white hair in disarray, tangled and littered with bits of leaf and twig; I run my fingers through surprising softness, like feather down or… I remember a large fluffy white dog when I was younger, it's long fur was soft and light like this; it had large mysterious eyes, too….It had wanted to play, but my owner, my 'father', had me dragged away; that had been punishment enough to my child's mind, but not by Gozaburo's rules. His game, his rules… but I was the winner. Because Gozaburo is dead, and I'm alive, and now we play my game by my rules, as Bakura so kindly has reminded me.
Except I haven't won. Not yet. Not until I get what I want….
'What you want is nothing I care to give.' What is it I want, Bakura? How can you presume to know, when I myself don't? And they call me arrogant! But I might settle for an acknowledgment of your defeat and my triumph over you and your so-called 'Shadow Powers', for your surrender… 'You'll have to take it.'
Almost daring me to follow through on my unspoken threat! So be it, then, Bakura; I don't bluff. Game over….
"Gomen, Kaiba-sama…"
Midori-kun's voice jolts me from the daze of memory, and I open my eyes to see her standing beside the desk. I've been sitting here only God knows how long,fingers pressed against the throbbing veins in my forehead. I take the caplets and the glass of water she offers, but postpone swallowing them. I deserve this pain, even though it prevents me from fulfilling my objectives. "Arigato, Mi - Midori-san."
I can tell she's startled at the unaccustomed honorific even though it's one she should be entitled to, were I anyone other than Kaiba Seto, multi-billionaire and her employer. Old enough to be my mother, perhaps even a younger great aunt, Midori-kun is one of the few members of the mansion staff to be retained after Gozaburo's 'accident'; my public rationale being that Mokuba was fond of the junior housekeeper, and as long as she remained loyal, efficient and discreet I saw no reason to further disrupt my younger brother's already shaky sense of security and comfort.
"Kaiba-kun, are you all right?"
"Iie", I whisper to our mutual shock. "I don't think I am, Midori-san." Am I selfish, to cherish the worry in my housekeeper's expression? To feel warmed, if only a little, by her apparent concern? I catch her wrist lightly as she turns, perhaps to summon assistance, someone she feels more capable of handling a possibly concussed and incoherent teenaged CEO. "Iie, Midori-san. Please…. I… humbly request your guidance. I … hurt someone yesterday, and I … don't know what to do."
Bless Midori's motherly soul, she doesn't panic or start fussing about. She simply sits down on the chair I pull up for her next to mine and studies me as if I were an errant and frightened child. Which, to be honest (although only privately), is exactly what I am at the moment.
"Who, and how badly, Kaiba-kun?"
I take a deep breath,as if steeling myself for an ordeal. "Someone from school, and I don't know."
"Was it the motorcycle accident?"
"Yes…and … no."
Midori gives a little exasperated snort. "What kind of answer is that, Kaiba-kun?" she scolds, and I smirk half-heartedly. How can I express my gratitude towards this woman? She's been here with Mokuba and I through the bad and the ugly and the insane, although I doubt she comprehends just how bad and how ugly; after all, she was only a junior housekeeper at the time, not privy to the nasty little secrets in the Kaiba closets. But she stayed through the insanity, and during my 'breakdown' she took care of Mokuba, and I have never yet seen pity or disgust or condemnation in her eyes.
"Are you going to take those, or just play with them?" Midori-san adds, drawing my attention to the fact that I'm pushing the painkilling caplets around aimlessly on the glass desktop with a finger. I glare and wash the pills down almost defiantly, to which Midori responds by giving me The Look. The same one Mokuba gives me when he thinks I'm being deliberately clueless or a total asshole; he must have learned it somewhere and I'm reasonably certain I'm looking at the point of origin. Keh. I was not quite accurate when I told Bakura that 'nobody talks to me like that' - Mokuba and Midori-san do it all the time.
Bakura….
"I was angry because of the accident," I confess finally, and Midori nods encouragingly as I struggle with the next part. How can I explain what I still don't understand? "The… hurting happened after…because I was angry."
She frowns thoughtfully and makes a suggestion. "Apologize?"
"I can't."
To her credit, she doesn't ask. Midori-san knows perfectly well that Kaibas never apologize. Not to mention how incredibly impossible it would be to walk up to Bakura Ryou and simply say, 'I'm sorry I insulted you and beat you up and… and …'
Almost raped you. I doubt even Mutou Yuugi could forgive that.
Midori-san stands up and pats me reassuringly on the shoulder. "Give it some time, Kaiba-kun. It's too fresh right now; give your classmate a chance to cool down." Midori-san probably thinks I'm talking about the Mutt, that our usual sparring has stepped up a notch, as they say. I truly wish that were the case; I could more easily deal with a violent out-for-Kaiba-blood Jounouchi Katsuya than - Shimatta! I probably will have to, if Yuugi-tachi ever finds out…. "It can't be that bad, unless you actually killed the poor fellow," she adds uncertainly.
"It can be, and I didn't." I gently remove her hand from my shoulder, but hold on to it just a fraction longer than necessary before letting go and turning away. "Thank you, Midori-kun. That will be all."
"Of course, Kaiba-sama."
No, an outright apology is out of the question, but my conversation with Midori-kun has suggested another course of action. Hacking into the school district records is ridiculously easy; I could do it in my sleep. Ah, here it is…. Bakura-kun is present at classes today. That means he wasn't damaged too badly in our confrontation yesterday ….but my odd sense of relief is tempered by the knowledge that my unfortunate scapegoat has demonstrated an almost masochistic disregard for his own health in the past; i.e., his participation during Battle City despite injuries that had resulted in hospitalization. That wasn't by choice, I remind myself. Bakura was under some kind of hypnotic control at the time. Still…
The Domino Hospital computer system isn't much better, security-wise. So much for patient confidentiality! I make a mental note to offer the hospital's Board of Directors a hefty discount on a security network upgrade next time they hit me up for a charitable donation… Hn. Nothing about Bakura in last night's walk-in emergency treatment records; how about earlier?
Recordsduring Battle City, yes! Treated for severe lacerations to the upper left arm, emergency treatment authorized by Mutou Sugoroku as acting guardian in absentia... administration of a standard rehydration solution to counteract blood loss, recommendation of over-night observation and blood transfusion pending notification and authorization by parent or legal guardian… notification of Child Welfare Services? Where the hell are Bakura's parents, anyway? Something to look into later…. Hn. No mention of the burn mark, that must have occurred after Marik's Rare Hunters kidnapped him….Bastard!
I fall back into my chair, startled by the surge of anger I feel at this realization. Why? What the hell do I care, that acasual acquaintance of mine was dragged from his sickbed; branded and possibly even … even - my mind shies away from the concept, but I force it back ruthlessly - tortured, then forced to participate in a competition that could conceivably result in serious injury and/or death…. Where is this sense of outraged fury coming from? It's not just embarrassed corporate dignity, that something so despicable should happen under the auspices of a Kaiba Corp. function, nor is it merely a matter of disrespecting my integrity as a Kaiba. It feels almost like a personal affront, and that I don't understand. It's not as if it had been Mokuba….
But it could have been. And that sends a chill through me so sharp it almost hurts. It was Mokuba, at Duelist Kingdom.…
Reminded of my brother, I glance at the mantelpiece clock. Almost time… but not quite yet. Back to Bakura….well, at least the doctors at Domino General aren't totally brain-dead. Here's a reference to multiple puncture wounds across Bakura's chest, including a snide speculation as to the cause -botched body piercings? Oh, please- and a note to follow up with patient's guardian.
And who exactly is that, anyway? Bakura Taddeo, father; professor of Anthropology at Tokyo University, member emeritus of the Board of Directors of the Domino Cultural Museum, currently on sabbatical at an archeological site in…
Egypt. Why am I not surprised?
(tbc)
Revised Authors' Note: Just a little tweaking here and there. Nothing earth shattering.
Authors Notes:
First, I'd like to say -Yes, I know my tenses in this chapter tend to shift from past to present and vice versa. I did this on purpose, you see, because Seto is not only remembering the events of yesterday, he's also in a sense re-living them. And in the process he's starting to understand what, how and why. Poor baby keeps getting interrupted just as he gets to the -cough- good part -cough-…. Don't lynch me! Please?
Second, re: Midori the housekeeper, and that entireconversation - OC's Gone Wild! Seriously, all she was supposed to do was bring Seto-darlin' his migraine medicine and provide a convenient interruption to uncomfortable memories! She certainly wasn't supposed to become a surrogate mother (mother confessor?)…Ah well, Seto needs someone to talk to, even tho' he's still very vague with the details, and he certainly can't unload on Mokuka or any of the Yuugi-tachi! And Isano (aka Roland)wouldn't be at all sympathetic.
About the honorifics: Midori uses -sama for Seto because he is both her employer and her social superior; Seto uses -kun at first because Midori is his employee and a social inferior. When he suddenly goes into 'little boy' mode and starts using -san instead, he's giving her the respect due to an elder professional or distant family member. I tried to convey the idea that Midori, while startled, understands from past experience with the Kaiba boys that Seto needs a confidant not an employee just now and responds accordingly by using the less formal and more intimate -kun. When Seto goes back to using -kun, Midori knows immediately that it's back to business as usual with Kaiba-sama. Confused? So am I! Hope no one gets uptight if I got it all messed up.
General reply to reviewers: I know that you are all anxious to see Seto andRyou together, but it's not going to happen in 'Midnight' except as a flashback to 'Breaking Strain'. Sorry, but this is Seto's introspective...
AmunRa: I tried to make this chapter longer, really I did. You got it. Reliquished: dancing Seto chibis? oh the horror ! guess I'll have to live with it...see above Gen. Reply. Kakyo: Thank you! I'm trying to avoid the cliche's and make Seto multidimensional; I'm glad you think I'm succeeding. Sorry about the e-mail alert, I think that was about the time ffnet was doing maintenance and the alerts got messed up! Hopefully you'll catch this one okay! Psyche: Soon enough for you? But Kaibas don't apologize, dear... at least, not directly. Yes, I thought that would be a very Seto thing for him to do; doing good, quietly and anonymously ... plus, he doesn't want to be reminded of his folly. Curious Forgotten Lore: "Nevermore!"Thank you, thank you... I need to tell you how much I appreciate your thoughtful reviews! Are you a mind reader, because I swear it's as if you've been peeking inside my head? Yes, he does, btw, that's part of what shocked him out of his 'power high' when he saw Ryou's scars. You know, you're the only person who's asked about the cell phone... my daughter and I discussed it; she thought Beethovan's Ode to Joy might be considered tacky enough, while I was considering Queen's 'We Are the Champions'... then I read Nenya85's story 'Deja-Vu' in which Seto's watch alarm plays the Macarena (Mokuba picked it out!) and I said, "That's it!" although it never gets mentioned in the story, of course. Private joke, so to speak.
Glad everyone liked the 'Seto in the Shower' scene in Chapter 2. Something I would like to mention; I do try to keep the mangas and the original Japanese versions in mind when I write, but my access to those is limited to Shonen Jump, tranlatedmangas and episode summaries, and sometimes the 4Kids dub fits the plot better than the original version does. I'm also trying to standardize my spelling of the Japanese names, for consistancy if not accuracy. Chapter Four jelled so quickly; I hope No. 5 writes itself as quickly. Later, all!
(eep... AN's almost as long as Chapter! Not good!)
Mother Chow Goddess