Rating: T for swearing, mention of violence, abuse, and attempted rape; Shonen-Ai; SKx RB.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or any of the characters thereof. They belong to Kazuki Takahashi/ Shueisha Inc., FUNImation Productions, 4Kids, etc.

Summary: Companion/Sequel to 'Weight of a Feather: Breaking Strain' - Kaiba tries to understand what happened in Domino Park, but comes up with more questions than answers. First Person POV.

Midnight of the Soul

Chapter Five - Afternoon Drive Time

Thanks to his member emeritus status with the museum board, it's only a minute's work to find a reasonably comprehensive bio/resume for Bakura Taddeo. Eldest son with younger siblings, fairly standard education and academic record through high school, Tokyo University…. Ah. Post-graduate studies in Oxford, England, where he presumably met his British-born wife, Gwyn, -- is that a surname? It looks unpronounceable…ah, it's Welsh -- married, offered a field research internship on a joint Swedish-British archaeological dig outside the Valley of the Kings -- oh this is interesting. But again, not exactly a surprise, all things considered.… Bakura Ryou was actually born in Memphis -- the one in Egypt, not the one in America known for Country music (shudder) and Elvis (double shudder!) -- while his parents were part of the Langford survey. Hmmmm….a sister? I didn't….oh….

I take several deep breaths, trying to ease the sudden tightness in my chest.

'Following the tragic loss of wife and daughter in a railway accident….' Amané. Pretty name; this abstract doesn't include photos…did she have pale hair like you, Bakura? And huge brown eyes? Was she like you, quiet and polite, or was she more like Mokuba, spirited and mischievous? How old were you when it happened? Do… do you miss her? Sometimes I think…. God, if anything happened to Mokuba what would be the point of going on? Without my little brother…. At least you still have your father, Bakura. He brought you back to Japan, after all.

So why are Social Services and the Department of Child Welfare involved? Nosy bureaucrats….and where are those socially correct grandparents you'd love to introduce me to, thereby shocking their eyebrows off? I know your actual words were intended as an insult, a comment on my lack of 'breeding'; for all his power and influence, Kaiba Gozaburo was a self-made man… bourgeois. New money, and seriously deficient in the aristocratic traditions and graces. But I saw that gleam in your eye, quickly hidden behind the faux courtesies; there's a bit of resentment there, I think, and if your paternal grandparents are as traditionalist as your words implied I can make a fairly accurate guess as to the reasons.

Eldest son, groomed to follow in the family traditions and destined to succeed the father in the family business -- whatever that might be. Wouldn't be hard to find out, but maybe later-- well-rounded education, finishing up at a prestigious British university… rebels against the family expectations and takes his own path. Not quite unforgivable, until he marries a gaijin, maybe even converts to Christianity since most Europeans are at least lip-serviced to that religion. Instant estrangement, not at all helped by the prodigal son's failure to return to the family bosom at the finish of his post-baccalaureate activities. And he not only refuses to go home, but also allows his own first born (possibly the first grandson of the clan) to greet the world not on ancestral lands but in a foreign country, a pale half-breed surrounded by strangers and even stranger rites….

Hn. Listen to me… I don't know these people; this is pure conjecture on my part but I can't help despising the kind of narrow-minded bigotry I imagine keeps the boy separated from his family. Because I also recall a snatch of classroom gossip -- that Bakura Ryou lives alone, much to the misplaced envy of the bonkotsu, while his father is abroad and disturbing the dust of the best-forgotten ages. Bakura-san's insurance policy from the University pays the hospital bills, but why was it left to Yuugi's grandfather to authorize emergency treatment during Battle City?

I re-open the window to Bakura-kun's school records. In Case of Emergency, contact: Isawa Chihiro, or Tanaka Fujiko. The phone number for Isawa-san is on the Kyoto exchange but looks vaguely familiar for some reason. Tanaka's is the Domino City DCFS office; I automatically memorize both numbers for future reference. The bio on Bakura-san only mentioned the existence of siblings not how many, their gender or names; presumably this Isawa is the nearest excuse for a blood relative available. Not surprising to see that Bakura-kun is a transfer student; his enrollment at Domino High occurred several weeks into my 'breakdown', which why I didn't recognize him at Duelist Kingdom.

Not that I was paying much attention to anyone other than Mokuba, Pegasus and Yuugi at the time. Hell, I didn't realize the boy was evena Duelist until he walked into the Battle City arena that night! If I'd ever thought about it at all, I suppose I just assumed he was part of Mutou's entourage, as modest and retiring as the Mutt is loud and obnoxious. Easy to overlook in the every day scheme of things, quietly studious with surprisingly good grades considering the number of times he's transferred schools in the past few years. Now why is that, I wonder? Not because of his father's job… Bakura-san may be spending an unusual amount of time in foreign locations lately, but Bakura Ryou has stayed right here in Japan for most of it since his mother and sister died. Something to do with those not-very-concerned relatives? Again, something to look into later. Right now it's time to switch the system to stand-by mode while Isono and I fetch my little brother from his school.

Once safely ensconced in the limousine, I quickly plug my laptop into the antenna network and boot-up. I have roughly fifteen to twenty minutes, the length of time it takes to drive from the mansion to Mokuba's school, and I need to make every second count. Because once Mokuba bounces into the backseat of the limo, I will need to pause any applications running on my laptop until he leaves the vehicle again -- that's our rule. One I don't intend to break, especially today when I'm feeling a perfectly understandable reluctance to go anywhere near Mutou Yuugi or the Kame Game Shop; because otouto-chan has an unfortunate habit of wanting to go to visiting at the most inopportune times, and today I will have to tell him 'no' and stick to it. Even if Mokuba hits me with the Puppy-Eyes, and says 'please, big brother?' I dare not yield! Not today -- Midori-san was right. It's too soon. I can't face them… I can't face their eyes… his eyes….

I do remember Bakura-kun's conditions just before the world went 'tilt-a-whirl' and sanity took off for the nether regions with a small herd of winged porcines: 'This stays between us. No involving family, friends … or ancient Egyptian spirits. Just you and me.' And I had agreed; that whatever he thought was going to happen between us (and God help me, very nearly did!) would stay there -- our business, no one else's. Ideally, if neither of us ever mentions it again, there should be no problem. Realistically, that's another matter. Especially with my businessman's mind picking away at our verbal compact as if it were a legal contract -- what if the provisions weren't met? Does that nullify the agreement? Since the postulated extreme possibility didn't occur, are we still bound? If so, to what extent?

Kamisama, I don't believe I'm actually thinking like this! I almost raped the boy, and I'm wondering if I have to abide by 'the code of silence' because I didn't? What kind of monster did Gozaburo make of me?

My hands are shaking again, so badly that I have to stop typing and minimize the screen. I have no intention of telling anyone the truth about yesterday, but what about Bakura? He was the one who proposed the 'agreement', presumably as an attempt to avoid further embarrassment to himself afterwards. Family, friends… what did he think, that I would go around boasting to everyone that I'd literally f-cked him over? Or that I would be so petty as to take out my anger on the others if I failed? Yes, I answer myself, and mentally cringe; he probably did think that. 'Sensitive' and 'compassionate' are not words normally used to describe me. My reputation for being cold-hearted, ruthless, and vindictive serves me well in the business world, and until now I've never regretted its carry-over into my so-called private life.

Not that I do now, you understand. I could actually care less what the Mutt, his cohort whatever-his- name-is, or Mazaki think of me. Mutou… for some strange reason he seems to think I'm a friend, of all things -- or at least, not an enemy, even when we're trying to beat each other into the ground at Duel Monsters. And in spite of all the times I've sneered at his attempts to drag me into their Egyptian fairy tale and that idiotic 'heart of the cards' philosophy, I … respect Yuugi…and, well… I don't want him to think badly of me. Or rather, any worse than he and his -- Other Self? -- already do.

I'm not blind or deaf; I've heard about the mysterious 'accidents' that befall others who run afoul of Mutou Yuugi, and as far as I can determine, Mokuba and I are amongst the rare few individuals who've survived mostly sane and alive. Yuugi and his friends are well protected by 'mou hitori no Yuugi', something I've grudgingly benefited from myself although I'm not at all certain when my status as 'dangerous adversary' metamorphed into 'reluctant ally'. Yuugi is a kind-hearted genki, willing to befriend even the most unlikely individuals, and seeming to possess an endless capacity to forgive the most outrageous sins if the perpetrator repents; his 'Other Self' is another matter. I have no desire to face his 'Mind Crush' again…and yet I know all too well how deserved that punishment would be. But this time, I would not wake up. And who would take care of Mokuba?

Midori-san. Yuugi-tachi. Perhaps even Bakura-kun, out of pity for having such a monster for an older brother, if no other reason.

I've giving up trying to do anything worthwhile on my laptop and realize dully that the monitor has reverted to the screen saver – an aborted experiment at using Duel Monster cards to play solitaire that even I could never quite wrestle into coherency. But it's colorful and interesting to watch and innocent; Mokuba likes it, and every so often I attempt to make it work properly….

"Nii-sama!"

And the laptop is shoved aside as an energetic bundle of black hair and purest brotherly love scrambles into the seat next to me. Small but strong hands grab my shoulders while worried grey eyes scrutinize my face.

"You look awful, big brother…. Did you go to work? I told you not to! Isono, I told him……"

"This is the first time Mr. Kaiba has left the mansion all day, master Mokuba…"

"Like that would stop him! What's that on your – oh, the solitaire game…."

"Mokuba." Finally I get a word in edgewise. "How was school today?"

He shrugs. "It was Friday. Surprise quiz in Language….I'm pretty sure I got a hundred percent. Are you okay?"

"I've had a killer headache for most of the day – Moku', stop examining my pupils, I do not have a concussion! – and Isono is quite correct, I did not leave the mansion until fifteen minutes ago." My oh-so-NOT-trusting brother snorts, only slightly mollified, and I decide to stop trying to avoid the inevitable. "Did you want to go somewhere this afternoon, kiddo?"

He does, I can tell by the wistful glance he casts back towards the school yard where some of his classmates are slowly making their way across the playground, and what's left of my heart aches. So much of what I've been and done for the past five years has been so that Mokuba can be what I couldn't be -- a child. And yet, when I think back on how close he came to becoming a murderous little thug because he wanted, God help us, to be like me --! I shudder and privately bless the Mutous: Sugoroku, Yuugi, and whatever name the Other wants use; be it Yami no Yuugi, Pharaoh, or God-Emperor of all Creation. Even now, he's far too aware of the realities of life, too much a grown-up for hiseleven years -- he needs to play, to be a kid hanging out with friends with his only concerns being to get home in time for dinner and whether girls are icky or interesting. I nudge Mokuba and nod towards the loose knot of sixth graders, some of whom I recognize as being in my brother's section, waiting at the crosswalk for the signal to change.

"I'll be fine, kiddo." He chews his lip indecisively and I manage something that is more genuine smile than smirk. "Go have fun."

Mokuba hesitates for another moment then with a rib-bruising hug and a breathed "See ya later, Seto!" flings himself out of the limo and onto the sidewalk, calling, "Oi, Tohru! Miko! Wait up!" I see several of the boys turn at his shout and grin. They pull my brother into their group, already laughing and chattering and trading friendly insults and jokes. Mokuba is not me, and the gods willing, never will be. For his sake I can endure pain, deprivation and other unpleasantness. I can endure insults and thoughtless cruelty, I can even endure the presence of Mutou Yuugi and his baka menagerie. I can…

Kamisama, if there is any mercy in heaven, do not let Mokuba ever discover my monstrous assault upon Bakura yesterday! Let Bakura despise me, let Jounouchi spit venom and threats, let the Other Yuugi send my mind and soul to eternal darkness; but please do not let me lose my brother's love. Do not let Mokuba hate me….

That I can not endure.

"Where to now, sir? Kaiba Corp.?"

"Back to the mansion." Not home; that huge mausoleum of a house was never really a home. Home is Mokuba, and perhaps Midori-san. People I can count on, who won't judge me but aren't afraid to tell me they think I'm wrong. People who think that maybe I'm … still human.

The limousine pulls away from the curb, slightly rocking on the shocks and jars my still-operating laptop. I glance down at the screen and feel a chill. On top of one solitaire 'stack' of virtual cards is the Blue-eyes Ultimate Dragon, but as I watch the next card of the 'dealer's' deck flips over to reveal…

Change of Heart. Half demon, half angel.

And the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon disintegrates. Game over.

I try to tell myself that it means nothing, a glitch in the code that I never was able to eliminate, one of the reasons I couldn't get the game to run properly. Pure coincidence that 'Change of Heart' was reportedly Bakura Ryou's favorite card.

'…I don't like who I become when I Duel…'

Neither do I, Bakura.

But do I mean Bakura's Other … or myself?

(tbc)

A/N: I'm thinking "Midnight" will be wrapped up in one more chapter, Kaiba willing. Sorry about the long wait, minna. Real Life has been a total Bastard, since about mid-March. I've got a good start on the next story, though…Ryou's POV will be back, Honda gets suspicious and hangs out with the Pharaoh in the nurses' office, and we might even be able to work in a guest appearance or two. BTW, although I LOVE long, insightful reviews, it's okay to keep it short if you need to……

Eveyone who commented on Midori-san - I guess she isn't as much an OC as I'd thought! The Shonen Jump Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist mangas mention a maid in the Kaiba mansion who was the only person Mokuba trusted while Seto was in his 'coma' -- obviously that must have been Midori-san!

Mangez-Maltesers - Loved your review of WoaF: BS; did you get to read "Shadow" before I took it down? Would you like to? Psyche - Seto is going to try (eventually); the real question is, will Ryou let him? Especially after the nightmares he's going to be having…. Curious Forgotten Lore - another awesome review, I'm glad you got such a kick out of Seto's cell phone! Yes, it is ironic; even the Tomb Robber thinks so, that Seto's actions have pushed Ryou away when the priest's reincarnation is the only one who -- uh, I shouldn't a-told you that…..(best Haggrid-voice). And you'll notice that we addressed the 'telling' question somewhat in this chapter; Seto doesn't really think Ryou's going to spill the beans deliberately, but he also has some inkling of how hard it is to keep secrets from Yuugi-tachi! I understand your concern about the kiss, and I'm already on it. Trust me, Seto will be a gentleman. And Ryou will be totally confused. AmunRa - still trying. We are so cruel to our Seto-darlin', aren't we? I think sometimes we forget that Seto, for all his arrogance and attitude, is still a teen-ager and still subject to typical manic-depressive mood swings and desperately needs huggles however vehemently he denies it. Nachez BR -hey there! I like Susan Cooper too! 'The Dark is Rising' series is right up there with The Chronicles of Narnia on my bookshelves. Miguels-Lover - glad you're enjoying the story so far! KakyoTheStick: oh, my! Story instead of make-up? You make me blush! shadowwaker: Hiya! Glad you stopped in; and thanks so much for your comments on "Shadow" over on the list… should I start posting WoaF over there too? Ciu Cine:Again, I really appreciate long thoughtful reviews, although I'm terrible about leaving them. I'm afraid it's going to take a while to resolve the Seto-Ryou dynamic; after all, we have at least two kidnappings, a sealed deck Duel, vengeful ex-Kaiba Corp. employees, and a pissed-off Pharaoh to deal with, let alone assorted past-life memories and nightmares to wade through…… Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! And Seto freaking out because Ryou is singing gruesome English folk songs under his breath in the background while he's trying to interrogate a thug as to Mokuba's where-abouts? ----ah, forget I mentioned that…… I worry about that boy's mental state, really I do…..

Guess that's it for now….BTW, folks... re: anything I may write here or on my bio page regarding plot complications... take it with a grain of salt. Nothing is writ in stone yet; half the time I'm just rambling and making it up as I go along...

Bai!