Chapter 16: Sweet Elbereth there are two of them!

"Are you ready for this?" Elladan asked, almost seriously.

Glorfindel, Sam, and Eomer nodded gravely.

"It may scar you for life?" Elrohir added.

"And yet you still carry on reading?" Glorfindel mused.

"We had no idea what we were in for." Eowyn said gloomily.

"And now we're all pretty much too far gone to help." Arwen pointed out sweetly.

"Oh, well. Let's give it a try anyway." Eomer said.

"You asked for it…" Faramir said. He laughed softly and began once again to read…

The next day, Starr and the rest of the Fellowship were introduced to Ewwen, Thedeon's niece or something.

'Ewwww…' was Starr's first thought upon seeing her.

Eowwn's hair was long and blonde, but had a brassy, greasy look to it, that made Starr wonder if she knew what a brush was…

She seemed kinda whiny too.

"Why does she mock you so?" Eomer frowned.

"Because she thinks she's more perfect than anyone in the world, because she thinks we care about what she has to say, and because it boosts her own ego." Merry said boredly. Yeah, he's heard it all before.

But no one cares about her, the overweight, greasy-haired, sallow-skinned, ugly, unattractive, unappealing, nasty, unpleasant, distasteful, repellent, uninviting, unsightly, horrible, repulsive, revolting, dreadful, horrible, hideous, disgusting, sickening, ghastly, filthy, sordid, nauseating Eowyn.

Everyone in the room jumped as Eowyn seized a pillow off a nearby chair, whipped out a dagger, and proceeded to stab it viciously.

"Eowyn, darling! What are you doing?" Faramir exclaimed worriedly.

"Taking out my frustrations. Better this than a person, right?"

"Uhh—"

"RIGHT?"

"Right!" Faramir said quickly.

"And if I have to hear one more synonym for the word 'ugly', I won't be responsible for my actions."

Poor Sam had eyes the size of dinner plates and was looking scandalized to have heard a lady insulted so. "She seems like a vile girl."

"Vile! That's a new one!" Eowyn said. Then she twitched slightly. Sam began to back away slowly.

"She kinda scares me…" Gimli muttered to Pippin, who nodded vigorously.

"Not that I blame her," Merry replied softly. "Good thing I didn't laugh when Faramir read that last paragraph."

"Eowyn would probably be taking her frustrations out on you instead of that pillow." Legolas said. He was desperately trying to hide his amused expression that someone else was getting ragged on.

Eomer sighed. "She is just jealous. She puts you and Arwen down because she knows that you are both beautiful and she could never compare."

"Five minutes and he already knows the ways of the Sues!" Arwen looked impressed.

Aragorn nodded. "You're good."

Legolas, Aragorn, the hobbits, and Starr were in the dining hall later on that day.

Starr sighed happily. "You know what I was thinking?"

"What?" chorused the other four, very interested in what she had to say.

"Well, I am so lucky to be here, to escape the toils of my own world—"

"To land right smack in the middle of war on which the future of the entire world rests?" Glorfindel offered.

"—into a world full of handsome Elves and Men, and cute hobbits."

"Wasn't expecting that."

Elladan and Elrohir shared a smirk. Glorfindel had NO idea what he was in for…

"I did have a dear friend back home that loved Middle Earth from afar as I did."

"By the Valar, please no…" Legolas was white as a sheet as he realized what was about to happen.

"She is the only one I truly miss from my old world. She would have loved to see it here…"

Eowyn, Aragorn, Arwen, and the twins, having caught on, were looking terrified.

"If only there was some way to bring her here…"

Then it hit everyone else what was occurring.

The same faerie appeared next to her shoulder. "I would love to help!"

"Faerie! Please bring Celeste here!" Starr exclaimed in joy.

A pink poof of sparkles emitted from the end of the faerie's wand, and then…

"What the fluck? Where am I?"

The glitter cleared to reveal another girl. She had nearly floor length blonde hair that shined with the light of a thousand stars. Her green eyes twinkled merrily as they took in her surroundings. She wore a pink sweater with white jeans.

"Sweet Elbereth, there are two of them…" Elladan breathed, looking sick to his stomach.

Legolas was back in the fetal position, in the corner. Glorfindel was staring at him, mystified at what could make a respected Elf behave like that.

Gimli was looking a little cranky. Can you blame him? Eowyn had relinquished the poor pillow she had been stabbing without knowing it all this time. It slid to the floor, limp, all its feather's gone. Sam were looking overwhelmed while Merry and Pippin stared disbelievingly at the book, as if asking it how it could be so cruel. Faramir hesitated as if not wanting to continue.

"Celeste!" Starr shrieked, hugging her friend.

"Starr! Are we in Middle Earth?"

"Yes we are!"

"Is that Aragorn?"

"In the living flesh!"

"Oooo, he's as hot as in the movie! Does he have a woman here, too?"

"Just Arwen. But you are like, soooooooooo much prettier than her! Aragorn is all yours for the taking!"

"Really? Sweet."

Arwen tensed and her grip on Aragon's arm tightened.

Aragorn groaned inwardly. This was SO not good…

TBC…..

A/N: It's hell. It really is. Ever since Celeste dropped by and insisted upon being in the story, it's been double the Mary-Sueness around here, times ten! Good thing they are fictional characters, and I can kill them without going to jail…

Starr: O.o You can!

Celeste: Meep!