Chapter 19: Compressing Helm's Deep into a Paragraph

"This has the potential to be a very annoying battle." Faramir sighed.

"I'm confident in assuming that our roles in the battle will be casually overlooked in favor of glorifying Legolas, Starr, Celeste, and Aragorn's skills." Gimli said. Everyone stared at him.

"I believe you are right, Master Dwarf." Glorfindel replied smoothly.

"Yeah, don't look so surprised." Gimli grumbled under his breath.

There was another knock at the door.

"Godan?" Aragorn inquired.

The door opened and who should walk in but Mr. Marchwarden himself, Haldir!

"Mae govannen, Haldir!" Legolas jumped up and hurried over to greet the guest, glad for any possible distraction.

"Good to see you, Legolas," Haldir smiled.

"What are you doing here?" Elladan asked.

"Thought I'd come for a visit. The strangest thing, when I questioned young Master Godan as to what you all were doing, he just gave me an odd look and laughed."

"Ah, well, Godan is wise beyond his years." Elrohir smirked.

"You'll regret coming here," Pippin said sweetly.

Haldir blinked at him. "Whatever for, Peregrin Took?"

An evil plan suddenly hatched in Arwen's mind. "Nevermind him, Haldir! Come, join us for a bit of a story!" She gave the others a pointed look when Haldir wasn't looking, and they got the message.

"Don't mind if I do!"

With a smirk, Glorfindel, who was still reading after his near-breakdown, turned back to the page.

"Farmers, farriers, stable boys. These are no soldiers."

"Yeah, they suck. How pathetic." Celeste agreed vigorously.

Haldir made a disgusted noise in his throat.

Starr smiled sadly. "Most have seen too many winters."

"She stole my line. Why am I surprised?" Gimli wondered aloud wearily.

"Or too few. Look at them. They're frightened. You can see it in their eyes." Legolas commented. He smiled in his head as Starr glared at the men who stared at him. In her eyes, he could see nothing but the will to fight and defend. He could see love too. And it was an honor to be the one at the receiving end of that amorous gaze.

"Boe a hyn neled herain dan caer menig. And they should be three hundred against ten thousand!"

"Si, beriathar hyn ammaeg na ned Edoras. They have more hope of defending themselves here than at Edoras…" Aragorn argued back.

Celeste shivered in delight. She had absolutely no idea what they were saying, but hearing Aragorn speak Elvish sent cold chills up her spine. Starr was nodding in comprehension. Celeste felt slightly left out. She needed at least another day in Middle Earth before she could be fluent in Elvish! Starr should know that!

"She's a miracle worker…Elvish in two days…" Eowyn said dryly.

"It's not exactly an easy language to speak or understand…" Merry said.

"It sounds nice, though!" Pippin pointed out.

"Aragorn, nedin dagor hen ú-'erir ortheri. Natha daged dhaer! They cannot

win this fight. They are all going to die!"

"Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn burst out before storming off. Celeste looked ready to cry at the look on Aragorn's face. A flash of pain had crossed it at the doubting words of one of his dearest friends.

"Yeah, you horrible Elf, you!" Elladan mocked, wagging a reprimanding finger at Legolas, who did not appreciate this. If looks could kill…

Several minutes later, Celeste assisted Aragorn in suiting up.

"Since when do I need help doing that?" Aragorn marveled.

"Hmm…perhaps after this battle I can help you get OUT of this armor as well…" Celeste mused, waggling her perfect eyebrows seductively.

"Has she no shame?" Haldir asked, looking scandalized. "To say such a thing, before a deadly battle and everything!"

"Shame? I doubt they could even spell it, let alone have it!" Eomer laughed mirthlessly.

"Ahh, Celeste, with you by my side, how could I lose? I do have some doubts about you fighting. If I were to lose you, I don't know what I would do!"

"I do! Celebrate!" Sam said.

"Do I detect some hostilities in the last place I would expect it?" Glorfindel asked, his eyes full of laughter.

"Oh, Aragorn, you're sweet to worry, but I will be fine. I must help defend Middle Earth. It has become my home now." Celeste batted her ridiculously long eyelashes.

"Arwen, I'm getting the feeling that you had planned this all along…" Haldir stated.

She gave him an innocent look. "Who, me?"

Legolas came by with Starr, and apologized. Then the Elves arrived, with Haldir.

"Why am I suddenly very afraid…?" Haldir gulped.

Soon after, they were lined up at the wall. Some idiot let loose an arrow, and the battle began.

"Celeste!" Starr whispered as she twirled around, avoiding a blade and stabbing an Uruk-hai.

"Yes?" Celeste called back as she single-handedly defeated two orcs at once.

"Are we saving Haldir?"

"From what?" said Elf asked.

"Well, he does die in the movies…"

"What are movies?"

"Did you read the books? Does he die in there?"

"I'm in a book?"

"They were too long. And I had too many dates."

"She was unfaithful to you, Legolas."

"Tell me about it! I've got way too many hair appointment and shopping trips to read some stupid book."

"What on Arda are they talking about!"

"Well, I'm going to be too busy making sure I don't break a nail. I don't feel like going out of my way to save him."

"Yeah, same here. It's settled then!"

Celeste had to see the pain in Aragorn's eyes at the loss of his friend, but quickly consoled him as they made their way back to the Keep.

Next came a lot of inane ramblings from Theoden and some random chairs blockading the door. Then they rode out, Gandalf came with Emoer, and beat all the orcs.

"Way to summarize it!" Faramir rolled his eyes.

"My name isn't really that hard to spell…" Eomer insisted.

"Well, I wouldn't get worried until she starts spelling MY name wrong," Merry responded.

"That would be sad…" Eowyn laughed.

"Well, since I'm clearly not wanted by the characters in the story, I'll take my leave…" Haldir said, getting up and quickly walking to the door.

"No! Haldir, don't be cross! I didn't mean to offend you!" Arwen looked taken aback.

He gave her a surprised look. "No, I just want to get out of here so I don't have to hear anymore of this. I'll come back for another visit soon." He turned and headed out.

"Take me with you!" Legolas cried out. "Alert my father! Tell him I'm being held hostage by my own friends!" But the door snapped shut leaving a despondent Elf to face his doom in the form of a girly pink book.

To Be Continued….