CRC: Aaaand I'm back!

Just a note, I saw in the reviews about the italics, and I apologize, but there's really nothing I can do. It's italicized on Word. If I knew more about computers, I'd have an answer, but right now, I'm convinced it was a plot against the fic by Starr and Celeste.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a few introductions to make. Starr, Celeste, this is Mr. Chainsaw and his two best friends, Mr. Mace and Mrs. Blow Torch.

And I'm sorry in advance if this is kinda short. I've got quite a bit of homework and may not even be here tomorrow…And I'm sorry, but once again, I'm going to have to put off the arrival of Thranduil till next chapter. Sorry.

Chapter 21: A Dull Spoon

"Welcome, my lords, my ladies, to Isengard!" Merry hopped up from his seat and bowed lowly.

Gmlii and the hobbits bantered back and forth, and Starr yawned. 'Such simple creatures.'

"And may I say, Lady Starr, Lady Celeste, it is a great pleasure to have such beauty within our sight again," Pippin said.

"Pippin, when did you get to be such a smooth talker?" Celeste tittered. Everyone burst out laughing.

"And such wonderful humor too!" Pippin wiped a tear of laughter from his eye.

"Raise your hand if you didn't find anything even remotely funny about that." Elladan said suddenly. Twelve hands went up. "I rest my case,"

"You're proving something we're all already WELL aware of," Elrohir pointed out sweetly.

Aragorn leaned over to Glorfindel. "Glorfindel," he whispered. "Would you mind warning me if any more…questionable…scenes arise between me and that thing that goes by the name Celeste? I'd like to put a league or more between myself and Arwen when the time comes…"

"I understand completely." Glorfy nodded.

"We're under orders from Treemustache—

"TREEMUSTACHE?" Everyone in the room roared simultaneously.

"Can we feed them to a warg, please?" Eomer shook his head.

"Ye'll get no complaints here, laddie!" Gimli said gruffly.

who's taken over management of Isengard," Merry informed them.

Starr's eyes went wide. "A huge walking tree! &!"

Glorfindel stopped reading and did a double take at the page. "What in the name of Varda was that?"

Eowyn paled. "I was wondering when this would come up. In order to make themselves seem more cool, Sues tend to swear…"

The hobbits, the twins, and Arwen were trying extremely hard not to laugh at hearing such a respected and well-mannered Elf say such a word.

"Young Master Gandalf. I'm glad you've come. Wood and water, blah blah,"

Starr rolled her eyes. It took the stupid thing so long to say something, it was long over by the time he finished!

It was Celeste's turn to laugh. "Young! YOUNG! Have you SEEN him?"

"Compared to TreeBEARD, Gandalf IS young," Merry said, looking scandalized.

Starr and Celeste watched in boredom as the others spoke to that old loser Saruman, then Grima stabs him, then Legolas shoots Grima down.

"YAY, LEGGIE!" Starr cheers. Celeste was too busy checking out Aragorn's, ahem, assets…

"I feel vandalized…" Aragorn mutteredas Arwen imagined herself eviscerating Celeste with a spoon. A dull spoon.

"May I borrow that when you're done," Legolas asked wryly, guessing what she was thinking. "I have someone I'd like to introduce it to,"

"But of course!"

Then he fell…right onto the nice pointy spike. Starr uttered a silent scream of horror, stepping back quickly. She shut her eyes against the sight and felt strong arms encircle her. "I hate the sight of blood!" she whispered faintly.

"Were you even AT Helm's Deep?" Faramir asked incredulously. "Well, technically not, but still!"

With that, her knees gave out and Legolas had to catch her to keep her from being submerged completely in the dirty water.

"Wow, the Legolas in this book is really stupid!" Pippin commented.

"And this is different from the normal Legolas how?" Gimli asked with a smirk. Legolas shot him a glare. "Kidding!"

"To be rid of her, I'd PERSONALLY take a club to her knees to, you know, speed along the process," Eowyn grinned devilishly.

"Remind me never to make her mad," Faramir said in an undertone to Eomer.

"Duly noted,"

"Melamin!" he cried frantically.

Celeste hurried over. "She'll be alright, she just fainted. My! Everything bad is happening today! First I lose…my hair…" She stifled a choked sob and Aragorn slipped a hand into hers. "…And then poor Starr! Even showing pity for that horrible man!"

Celeste wandered off to mourn the loss of her gorgeous, silky locks. She suddenly spotted something in the water. Picking it up, she realized it was the Palantir.

A low whispering voice seemed to emanate from the ball, tempting her. She shrugged it off, feeling no effect. "Shut up, stupid ball, or I'll break you!"

"Ooo, empty threat!" Elladan murmured.

Gandalf noticed what she held in her hands and sighed with relief that she was not affected. If they had to fight against Celeste, not only would it be heart-breaking, but they could not hope to win.

He took the ball and spoke harshly to the eye. "The one you are trying to entice into darkness is in fact, the very essence of light."

"She is so full of it," Legolas grumbled. With Starr wonderfully unconscious, he was free…for the moment. No doubt there would be a mushy Ooo-I'm-waking-up-eyes-flutter-open-where-am-I moment.

Sure enough…

Meanwhile, with Starr and Legolas…

Starr's long eyelashes fluttered open slowly, her crystal orbs reflecting the sunlight glinting off the water. "Where…am I?"

"Isengard. You had a little scare," Legolas whispered lovingly, stroking her hand. "But everything is fine now…"

"Really? Because it sure seems like everything is going to heck to me!" Aragorn exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"Ooo, my head," Starr winced, clutching her forehead. "And my shoulder has been hurting lately too…"

"Why her shoulder?" Glorfindel asked.

"Oh, didn't she get shot with an arrow in the shoulder, and then died and came back to life?" Faramir wondered aloud.

"Yeah, I think that's about right." Elrohir nodded.

"Oh, alright! Makes PERFECT sense!" Eomer said sarcastically.

"Oh, Tinueth (small star), it hurts me deeply to see you in such pain!" Legolas said dejectedly. "If only I could take some of this pain from you!"

"Nay, Legolas, I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of causing you pain," Starr smiled sadly.

"If you only knew…"

TBC……..

Well, what do you, that wasn't really that short! Well, I have to go illustrate my Spanish legend I wrote, then write a ten-lined poem, then go get a hair cut. Fun.

See ya'll next chapter!