So all of this except for the sweet plotline is pretty much done by J K Rowling, and I hope she would approve of my fanfic skills. If so, Pedro would provide his protection. Gosh! I'm using Napoleon Dynamite to make my warranty statement. Flippin' idiot!

Chapter Ten: Girls Will Gossip

"Well, what did you find?"

Ginny had returned only a moment ago, but several members of the Order had already shown up, despite the late hour. Tonks was in a pair of purple slippers and was tousle-haired, Lupin kept yawning, and Professor McGonagall wore her tartan dressing gown. Harry, Hermione, and her family were all in various sets of pajamas and bathrobes.

"Not much," Ginny replied truthfully, "I thought it was best just to start a foundation. He was really curious; he almost wouldn't hear of the . . . affair." Mrs. Weasely let out a stifled sob. "Mum, it's alright. I did find out something, though. The Ministry don't know he's still at Spinner's End, so he won't do magic unless he has to."

Lupin turned to Tonks. "Didn't you tell them he was living in Spinner's End?"

"Yeah, I did," said Tonks, "but they said they looked there and everyone was gone. They say they've been watching it for the past few months, and they haven't caught any magic done there. Must have given up, I expect."

"Well, is there anything else, Ginny?" Professor McGonagall asked tensely. "Anything at all could help the Order."

"Not really, that's it," Ginny answered as she racked her brain for any passing comment.

"This is vital," McGonagall hissed. "We need to know anything and everything."

"Um," Ginny thought, "he prefers old red wine and owns a black silk dressing gown."

The entire kitchen burst into laughter, except for Mrs. Weasely, who looked thoroughly depressed, and Professor McGonagall, who looked scandalized. "That might be a bit too much information," she sniffed. "Well, if that's all, I'm going home." And with a faint pop, she Dissapparated.

"We should head home, too, dear," Lupin said to Tonks.

"Actually," Tonks replied as she looked at Ginny, "I was thinking of staying here with Ginny and Hermione, if that's alright with you, Remus."

"Absolutely," he said. He smiled and gave her a swift peck on the lips and was gone with a faint crack.

"Hope that's alright, Molly," asked Tonks questioningly.

"Fine, fine," she said with an oddly weepy voice, "All of you, up to bed, now. I don't want you staying up too late."

Ginny, Hermione and Tonks headed up the stairs to Ginny's room, saying nothing until the door was shut and locked. As soon as Ginny turned, however, Tonks and Hermione began to giggle uncontrollably.

"Oh, I'm glad you think it's so damn funny," Ginny huffed. She flopped onto her bed, and Hermione settled onto the one Mrs. Weasely had conjured for her. Tonks pulled out her wand and made a small cot with bright yellow sheets materialize, and she sat down upon it gingerly.

"It's just such an odd situation that there's nothing else to do but laugh," Hermione giggled. "I mean, he was our teacher for six years, and, even if you . . . RONALD WEASELY, I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T GET THAT OUT OF MY SIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Ginny whirled around to see a bit of fleshy string zoom from under the door, and she heard a series of swear words come from her brother's room.

Ginny strode to the door and pointed her wand at it, muttering "impervious."

"Extendable ears?" Tonks asked curiously.

"Yeah, I thought Mum had gotten rid of them again," Ginny replied as she settled back onto her bed. "I guess Fred and George can just keep sending them with Errol."

"Yes, but you're changing the subject, Ginny," Hermione said, smiling mischievously. "So, how was it?"

"Oh, can it," Ginny said as she changed into her pajamas. "That's my business, not yours."

Tonks grinned up at her. "You know you deserve this, Ginny. Anyone who sleeps with someone for an exchange--"

"Wait, this was your bloody idea," Ginny retorted. "I was willing to live and let live, but someone," she looked pointedly at Hermione, who blushed slightly, "had to go and tell a member of the Order."

"But I think it will turn out alright," Hermione said nervously. "I mean, if he can't do Legillimency, then you really might find out something. Or you can at least give us things to tease you about."

"And you're getting free sex. Don't complain. So," Tonks almost chuckled, "is he, ah, skilled in the ways of love?"

Ginny chucked a pillow at her head. "I won't dignify that with a response," she said huffily.

"I wouldn't think so," Hermione giggled. "I mean, look at him. Would you really think he was?"

"Definitely not," said Tonks.

"It just so happens that he is very--" Ginny covered her mouth and looked at the girls who were now rolling on the floor with laughter. "You did that on purpose," Ginny pouted.

"Yeah, we did," Tonks said as she wiped a tear out of her eye.

"Well, what all did you do?" Hermione asked.

"I . . ." Ginny could not see any way of getting out of this without being pestered for the rest of Christmas break. "Fine. If you must know, we argued for a good long while over wine; he didn't seem to think the whole affair was a good idea at first."

"But he gave in, I'm guessing?"

"Yes." Ginny said in a final manner.

"And?"

"And then we . . . you know." Ginny blushed fuchsia.

Tonks and Hermione continued to giggle. "Was it nice?" Hermione asked.

"Yes," said Ginny grumpily.

"Kinky?" questioned Tonks.

"No!" Ginny hissed as she went an even darker shade of maroon. The thought of having out-of-the-ordinary sex with Severus did seem enticing, but this was not the time to think about it. "You'll notice that I don't ask you detailed questions about your sex lives."

"Well, Remus is fairly orthodox in his bedtime behavior," Tonks said thoughtfully. "Nothing really to tell that you haven't already done with Snape, I'd think. Oh, unless there's a full moon," She gave a soft wolf howl, looking completely unabashed, "then things can get interesting."

"And, I could go on for hours about having sex with your brother," Hermione giggled.

Ginny faked a vomiting fit. "I really don't want to know about you lot's love lives. I was just making a point. Wait," She turned to Hermione, "you two haven't . . ."

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response," mimicked Hermione. Ginny gave her a very evil look, and Hermione added, "Just joking, Ginny. No, we haven't." Hermione looked oddly crestfallen to admit it.

"Did he like the boots?" Tonks asked interestedly.

"No," Ginny retorted as she removed the boots and tossed them on the floor, "He thought they were slutty. He seemed to be more interested in me not being overtly sexy. He didn't seem to think it was something I'd wear. He got rather suspicious." She decided not to tell Tonks that she had almost admitted that they were her idea.

"Ah, Remus feels the same way about them," she sighed as she leaned over to pick the boots up.

"So, he's interested in subtlety, I'm guessing?" asked Hermione. "Can you pull that off, Ginny?"

"Oh, you're evil, Hermione," Tonks giggled.

"I can," Ginny muttered as she pulled the sheets over her. "He says I'm becoming more subtle, and apparently, most men over twenty find that enticing."

"I can only imagine," Hermione yawned as she, too, pulled the sheets over her. "So, when are you going to meet with him again?"

"I might go next Wednesday," Ginny said. She flicked her wand to dim the lights. "He's free tomorrow, but that might be too soon."

"Yeah, you'll be too sore, I'd expect," giggled Tonks.

"Oh, that reminds me," Hermione said. "Is he, ah, well-endowed?"

"HERMIONE!" Ginny hissed, but she couldn't help giggling herself.

"Well, is he?"

"Oh, I don't know," Ginny said as she rolled onto her side to look at Hermione and Tonks. "I don't have anything to judge against, do I?"

"C'mon, what do you think?" Tonks asked. "Average, small, huge?"

Ginny went bright red as she tried to think about it. "Alright, fairly big, I think." They all broke into a fit of uncontrollable giggles that stopped only when Mrs. Weasely pounded on the door and yelled that they had better go to sleep because she wanted them to de-gnome the garden tomorrow.

As soon as she had left to tell off the boys, Ginny rolled onto her pillow and said, "G'night, Hermione, g'night, Tonks."

"Night, slut," Tonks said jovially.

"Pleasant dreams, my dirty little whore," replied Hermione sleepily.

Ginny smirked up at the ceiling, realizing that this whole working-for-the-Order thing might not be so bad.