A/N: Okay, I fully apologize to you all and thank everyone for pointing out my blunder—Arwen is Elladan and Elrohir's YOUNGER sister.

Arwen: She was totally aware of this, but apparently doesn't know how to proofread…

CRC: Yeah! (pause) HEY!

I'd like to apologize. I have to stall this chapter, because I have no idea what to do next. Instead, I'm going to have an interlude in the Sue fic, with the fake Legolas talking about how much he loves Starr, blah blah blah…

Chapter 27: Interlude FAKE Legolas the Sappy Pansy

Merry raised his eyebrows. "The next chapter is an interlude by Legolas. I think it's only fitting that HE read it…"

Legolas shot him a glare. "Nice try."

Eowyn looked thoughtful. "Actually, I agree…"

When everyone else agreed as well, Legolas took Merry's place, grumbling something that sounded vaguely like, "I will burn you all…"

Legolas's Interlude

How do I love Starr? Let me count the ways…

"How original," Aragorn said dryly.

"Could we possibly come up with any ways that we love Starr…or even remotely like her, for that matter?" Pippin wondered aloud.

Dead. Silence.

"Yeah, didn't think so."

From the moment I met her and held her in my arms—though she was barely there—I knew it was meant to be.

Elladan had to fight to hold back maniacal laughter. Arwen gave him a look that seemed to say, "Don't even THINK the words 'feather' or 'board'!"

Her eyes sparkle with the cheerfulness of a sunny summer sky, yet can take on a blue of the deepest depths of the ocean. They are the key into her emotions, and I could get lost in them for an eternity and a day.

"Give or take a millennia or two…" Faramir grinned.

"Weren't her eyes supposed to be purple?" Arwen mumbled.

Her hair cascades down her back like an auburn waterfall.

"What a lovely description. A BROWN waterfall? How is that attractive? Makes me think of polluted sludge water." Elrohir rolled his eyes, then paused. "…Actually, that wouldn't be too far off…"

How I love to run my fingers through her silky locks. I long to spend every waking moment with her.

"Every waking moment? If you REALLY loved her, you'd want to spend every sleeping (or whatever you bloody Elves do) moment with her two!" Gimli chuckled.

Legolas didn't even glare. He looked about ready to give up.

Sam was the only one who seemed to care.

When I'm not near her, my life seems to be filled with a great void.

"And when she IS around, she successfully fills it with a sickeningly saccharine love hate relationship (she loves me, I hate her)—and I'd much rather prefer the void…" Legolas added.

Arwen poked him. "Stick to the real story, Elf Boy."

She is kind to everyone around her. The hobbits adore her.

"YEAH RIGHT!" all three hobbits present screeched together. If you listen REAL hard, you can hear Frodo screaming the same thing from the Undying Lands.

Boromir treasured her so much, he gave up his life for her.

Faramir let out a long string of curses.

It would ordinarily make me jealous, but in this case, there is enough of this wonderful, beautiful, fantastic girl to go around.

"Any takers?" Glorfindel grinned. "No one? Going once…"

"NO!"

It amazes me how one person can care so much. She seems truly affected by everything that happens to us—

" 'Seems' being the key word here," Eomer smirked.

Though she has only known most of us a short time. She fits right in.

I will not even talk of her death, for luckily she came back. It pains me to just think of it. It seems that she will be with us for a very long time, which I'm thankful for.

"She's like a really bad rash that will never go away," Eowyn said, putting an emphasis on 'never'.

Middle Earth will never be the same since she's arrived. She's changed us greatly ("And not in the good way," Elladan grumbled.) and we regard her as a gift from the Valar.

"Whom you can almost hear snort in annoyance at this present moment," Aragorn sighed, shaking his head.

We all owe our sincerest thanks to the faerie GwenethCamilleScarlettRuby (A/N: I've changed her name, giggle giggle titter titter), who made this all possible. As well as the fantastic author of this story, Prettyprettyprincesssweet16.

"DEATH TO THE FAIRIE AND THE SHAMELESS SELF-INSERTING SUE AUTHOR!" was the rousing shout that echoed throughout the castle. The servants looked up from their chores, startled.

So, in summary…

Everyone groaned.

I love Starr because she makes me happy. She's beautiful to behold. She is kind to everyone around her, and for that, every single person in this universe loves her. She can fight like the best of us (if not better). She is good with children. She gives amazing back rubs. She's great in bed—whoops, ignore that one, that was a secret! .

She makes me feel good and loved. She can cook better than Sam. ("HEY!") She is excellent with children (wink wink nudge nudge). She is as intelligent as they come, and an excellent strategist. Many a battle have gone over smoothly thanks to her planning. She is talented in the art of persuasion. She's a wonderful actress, artist, and writer. She is truly a gift from above.

I love the way she looks, the way she talks, the way she breathes, the way she walks. I love how she spells her name with 2 r's.

Starr…

I love you.

"Aw, how sweet…NOT." Elrohir said sarcastically as he watched Legolas slam the book shut and be restrained by Aragorn, Faramir, and Eomer from tossing it in the fire.

TBC…

A/N: I'm so mean to poor Legolas! XD He'll live.

Thank you all again for your reviews! 788, that's insane! wOOt!