Lucas found Nathan walking down the street a short while later and jogged up to him, "Hey! Did you and Haley make up?"
Nathan threw Lucas a look, "We might've if your cell hadn't died on me. Don't you charge your phone!"
"You know, you could always use another phone and call her back-" Lucas started.
"I couldn't find mine and I can't find change for a pay phone," Nathan said. "Don't think I didn't try."
"How are you doing…?" Lucas peered into Nathan's eyes and realized it wasn't filled with anger any more, but just simple grief.
"I-I made her cry, man," he swallowed; his eyes were filled with self-loathing and were watering.
"She knows you love her," Lucas soothed.
"From the way I've been acting? God, she thinks I never want to see her face again." Nathan shook his head.
"Come on, let's go to my place, you can use my phone-" Lucas suggested.
"And have the conversation under the prying ears of Deb or Dan?" Nathan chuckled.
"Peyton? Brooke? Mouth?" Luke offered.
"Out with Jake, out with Felix, mooning over Brooke at Karen's coffee place." Nathan replied, "I didn't give up that easily, I checked them all out. Everyone has love issues, God! I mean Brooke isn't happy with Felix, Mouth isn't going to have Brooke no matter how great of a guy he is, it's only a matter of time before Nikki returns to torment Jake, you and Peyton were perfect for each other but didn't make it through, and now even Haley and me aren't together."
"Hey, I'm positive you and Hales will work it through. And Jake and Peyton are fine together-" Lucas protested.
Nathan snorted, "That may be true but come on, tortured artist meets brooding out cast. There were definite possibilities with you two. After I got over being bitter, I was sort of rooting for you and her. After all, like I said, it was obvious to all that you were meant for each other." Nathan paused before saying, "You know, you've pretty much screwed me for life. You stole away my girlfriend then introduced me to the one girl who had ever ripped out my heart."
"If you're going to start on the pity party and have and start listing all the things I've inflicted upon you and how shitty your life is, believe me, I'll win." Lucas said with a small smile.
"Oh come on, Luke, so I had Dan and the money. You had the closest relationship with your mom than I had ever witnessed before and with your tight budget, you learned to be modest. You're the nice guy, and I turned out to be the spoiled rich brat who hardly speaks to his parents. And you get all the pity for what happened to you when really, I've got it way worse. But you let Dan screw all that up, didn't you?" Nathan chortled.
"Stop with the self-pity. It's enhancing your spoiled rich kid thing. And don't go on about what you know nothing about. You have no idea why I did what I did with Dan." Lucas retorted.
"Even if you're being all selfless again, your lack of explanation will make everyone hate you no matter the real reason." Nate shrugged. "Well, I'm off." He hopped off the table.
"Wait, where are you going?" Luke exclaimed.
"Get drunk." His brother called from behind his shoulder.
"What about Haley? Aren't you going to try harder to talk to her?" the blonde asked.
"Why? It's not going to happen. We'll end up fighting again. This world bites and it always will, why try and fight it?" Nate said, walking off.
"Don't you think Haley's worth fighting for?" Lucas shouted. Nathan didn't reply, he just continued on his way. "Nate! Don't just throw this away! Find a way! Don't give up!"
"It doesn't matter," Nathan turned back for a final look. "Nothing does."
"You deserve to lose her if you're not even willing to exert yourself to get her back." Lucas said bitterly.
Haley couldn't put her heart into rehearsal. She was almost as bad as she was yesterday. When Chris told her to use her emotions to her benefit, and to pour out all the hurt into her music, it only caused her to start crying. Thinking about Nathan, just hearing his name, hurt her so much that she could feel tears forming each time. The other singers were starting to get a bit exasperated. It was incredibly lucky that they didn't have a concert that night.
She had attempted to call Nathan back at least a dozen times but each time, she got voice mail. Why was he doing this to her? She had thought that she was finally getting through to him. She shouldn't have pushed him. That night, Haley tried to rid herself of the day's sadness. She spent an hour in the shower, letting the lukewarm water pelt her, somehow having hope that if she stayed in there long enough, all her mistakes would be washed away. Somehow hoping that the water would take away the tears, turn back the clock, make her turn back into that talented singer who had a wonderful husband, make her transform into the girl she once was. And a part of her wanted to drown. Everything that was wrong with her life surged up in her mind and it felt like each drop of water sinking into her skin was a mistake she had made, or some horrid curveball life had thrown at her. She cried. She cried until all the tears were used up and she was left sobbing dryly. She cried for the loss of her love; she cried for the painful truth that was facing her. Haley had left Nathan for her career but she now saw that her career wouldn't take off without him. He was her muse and she stupidly hadn't realized that her voice wouldn't be quite as magnetic once he was gone from her life. So she had thrown away a deep, glorious relationship for nothing. Haley slammed her hand up to the shower wall in frustration with enough force to draw blood. Still, she remained standing under the water. When the water turned chillingly cold, once the hot water ran out, she still stood.
Finally, when her emotions were released, when she had mourned and sulked and hurt enough, she lifted her hand and turned the water off. For a moment, Haley stared at the floor, watching as her own blood slid down with the water, slowly down the drain. She stared as if entranced, and when all the blood had gone, and all the water and drained, Haley took in a cleansing breath and finally left.
The cut wasn't that large. The pain wasn't immense. She kind of felt comforted with the sting that radiated from her palm, it was a new pain that she could physically touch.
For a long time, Haley sat curled on her hotel bed in silence. Chris hadn't bothered her and Lucas wasn't calling her. Haley supposed they had all given up.
It was nearing midnight when a knock resounded. It was a tentative sound, hesitant almost. Haley didn't even look up. The knocking persisted, slightly louder, more sure. She sighed but dragged herself to the door. She opened it, ready to snap at whoever it was. Who did they think they were, appearing at her door this late?
"Do you realize what time it is?" Haley sniped as she pulled the door open. What she saw nearly made her fall backwards.
"I'm sorry." Nathan was standing nervously in the hallway.
Haley couldn't speak, she blinked a few dozen times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, and thought that she must have fallen asleep on the bed. "N-n..a." a strangled sort of garble came out of her dry mouth. She looked at him with great uncertainty; the only thing she wanted to do was embrace him.
Upon seeing the fresh look of hurt and doubt, of fear and shock, on Haley's' face, Nathan let go of whatever hesitation he had been holding on to and instantly wrapped his wife into his arms. A bone-crunching, never-letting-go embrace. Haley started crying again, just when she had thought she had cried more than a lifetime's worth of tears.
The feel of Nathan in her arms pushed the words out of her mouth, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Nate, I'm sorry, I love you, and I'm sorry." The tears flowing heavily down her cheeks, the words were jumbled together and pierced through with pleading desperation. Her fingers held onto Nathan as if she was afraid he might slip away.
"I love you too, Haley, shhh, it's okay, it's okay, don't cry," Nathan breathed, though now he himself was crying openly. "I forgive you, god, do I ever forgive you, I forgive you." The two clung on to each other, a sobbing mess.
"Please, don't ever leave me, don't end this, please," sobbed Haley, not believing his words.
"I'd never," Nathan reassured her, stroking her hair. His tear-filled voice brokenly requested, "Don't you ever take off like that again, don't do that to me, Haley, please, no matter what I ever say or do, don't get on a bus and take off! I love you so much, please-"
It was a full half hour later when the two finally were put together enough to let go of each other. Neither could risk losing the other again, both of them desperately thought that if they ever separated the other would disappear.
They walked into Haley's room but neither was ready to have a conversation. They were both too emotionally charged. All night long, Nathan held Haley to his chest, never letting go. They lay on her bed in a mad embrace, the only words spoken were a refrain of I love yous. It was the most distressed moment the two had ever shared. Explanations, serious conversations, talks about them, all would have to wait for another day. For now, they were together, for now everything was well.