If you just close your eyes, you can feel the enemy

After running in to Draco at 'the room', Harry started paying more attention to his school nemesis's doings. It came to him as a shock how little attention he had given the pointy-faced slytherin those first weeks of classes. It wasn't because Malfoy's attitude or actions had improved. On the contrary, Malfoy was still just as mean and spiteful towards any harmless bystander, if not even more vicious. It was merely because everybody, including Harry, had been keeping a close eye on those slytherins who were flashing the Death Eater card almost openly. Surprisingly, Malfoy was not among them.

Although Draco was constantly insulting everything that moved, he was still refusing to start a fight with Harry. As a result, the two boys never talked to each other. But from the glares Malfoy was sending his way, Harry could quite easily decipher a message. 'Stay the hell out of my room.'

Nevertheless, the following Saturday afternoon, Harry was making his way to a familiar door on the second floor. Hoping to find the room empty, he pushed the door open. Draco Malfoy was sitting in his earlier position on the couch. Harry slipped in and closed the door before Draco got a word out.

Draco recovered quickly. "Get. Out." he all but hissed.

Harry couldn't quite keep the irritation from the look he gave Malfoy before heading for the alcove. He had taken only a few steps, when Malfoy jumped up and shoved his wand at Harry's throat. Malfoy's wand was keeping him from seeing the slytherin's face, but Harry was imagining, from his tense pose and shaking voice, that he was in fact angry. That and the wand sticking painfully in his throat.

"I said, get out. I don't want you here with your panting. I have steered clear from you, now steer the fuck clear from me! Got it?" Draco empathized his words by pushing the wand even further.

Slowly Harry started backing away from the other boy and his wand, lifting his hands to his side. He retreated all the way back to the door, until he felt it behind his back. He continued lifting his arms, bending them at the elbows until he could lace his fingers and rest his head on them, leaning backwards. Then he crossed his legs from the ankles. He could not have been any further from a fighting stance.

Draco was raging. "You arrogant prick! You actually dare to assume I won't hex your arse off just because you're the bloody Boy Who Lived?"

"I don't know you well enough to assume anything" Harry answered truthfully. He had no idea what he thought he could accomplish with this. In the back of his mind he realized that Draco couldn't actually kill him. That wouldn't stop the slytherin from doing something painful anyway.

"We have been mortal enemies for five years and you presume -" Draco's rant was cut short when a snort escaped from Harry.

Draco whipped his wand hand up again from the side of his thigh, where it had been resting. "You think you're in a position for that?" he asked evilly.

Harry couldn't help but smile a bit despite his sticky situation. "You're so lucky. Having only me as your enemy" he said.

"And you're above this?" Draco sneered.

"Yes, I think so" Harry answered. "You can't hurt me, Draco."

Draco hated the condescending way Harry had said his given name. He took a firmer grip on his wand. "Oh really?"

Anger was starting to well up inside Harry too. He hated this constant fighting. Children attacking other children and trying to act tough. Harry was reaching his breaking point.

His eyes were blazing as he spoke with suppressed anger. "What are you going to do? Hex me? No no, something bigger. Who am I kidding? Were enemies! You'll use the Cruciatus? Avada Kedavra?" Harry paused to breathe for second. "Or maybe hit me where it really hurts; attack one of my loved-ones. But I have to warn you. You better act soon, I seem to be running out of those." Harry knew he was sounding bitter, but he didn't care. Hell, he was bitter.

As Harry's rage started intensifying, Draco's seemed to be deflating. Draco bent his arms around his back and took a hold of his own wrist. Then he lifted his chin and said with an emotionless voice "I'll do what is demanded of me."

But Harry was not finished yet. He uncrossed his legs and let his arms drop. "You have to do better then that" he sneered. "You have to want it. You do want it, don't you? I would hate to hear that you joined Voldemort's ranks just to please your father. That in the end, you weren't a blood-thirsty baby-killer after all and wanted out, so Voldemort got you killed. Once you join, you can't ever leave his services... You know that, don't you?"

Draco winced a bit from hearing Voldemort's name. Other then that he kept still and answered with the same emotionless, yet maybe a bit bored voice, "Yes, I know."

"Good. So now when I'll see you in my dreams, getting tortured by Voldemort, 'cause let's face it, that's what he does to his followers, I'll know that you're happy. That you're where you want to be, following your true calling." It was as if Harry had pulled a plug and everything that had been bothering him about his peers' actions over these last few weeks was coming out. These Death Eater trainees didn't know what they were getting into.

This time Draco lost his cool. "Oh, please" he threw back. "Just save it, okay? I know you'd throw a party if I got killed."

Harry drew a long breath before answering. "I have known you for five years. You were the first Hogwarts student I ever met. I don't want you dead, or tortured." After Draco's incredulous look, Harry answered in a calmer tone "It gives me a headache every time he tortures someone."

Draco frowned in confusion but didn't say anything, which worked out quite nicely because Harry wasn't going to tell him anything about the visions anyway.

Both boys stayed quiet after Harry's admission. Finally Harry broke the silence. "If you hurt me, I will go to Dumbledore with it, and he will not be pleased."

"No, he wouldn't want his precious Golden Boy hurt, now would he?" Draco said with a mocking voice, but Harry found it didn't quite have the same effect on him like it used to.

"No, he wouldn't" Harry replied evenly. "Not in these times, and not with all the attacks happening in the school. They might make you a scapegoat." Harry wanted to add 'And your daddy won't be bailing you out from this one', but restrained himself. No need to get the blonde going again. Nor was there any need to kick him while he was down.

One can always count on a slytherin's sense of self-preservation. Without looking at Harry, Draco pocketed his wand and took his prior position on the couch.

Harry had almost reached the entrance of the alcove, before he heard Draco speak with an unsurer voice. "It's really coming now, isn't it?" Draco looked at Harry's back as Harry froze from Draco's words. "The war" he added after Harry didn't seem to react.

Harry turned around slowly. "It's been coming for some time now" Harry said. "You knew this. You were one of the few who did."

"No I didn't! It was just... for fun. It's not like I wanted this... this war." Draco stood up again and walked to the window.

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Draco Malfoy was all words and no action. First using his father's dark connections to bully everyone around him, just to feign ignorance when the shit really hit the fence. Just like his father. Harry crossed his arms on his chest and shook his head slowly.

Draco saw this action from the window. "What?" he asked with all the venom he could muster.

Harry started slowly advancing on Draco. "Your name means 'bad faith', doesn't it?" He waited for Draco's confirmation before continuing. "Do you know the French existentialist Sartre? No? According to him a person practicing 'bad faith' refuses to see the painful truth and take responsibility for his choices. Now, is this just a coincidence or cosmic verity?" Harry cocked his head to the side mockingly. "You tell me."

By the end of Harry's speech, both boys were pretty riled up again. Suddenly Draco pushed Harry who had stopped just a feet before him with his both arms and all the strength he possessed. Harry fell hard on his back and hit his head on the floor. Harry realized he had been lucky that he hadn't hit an edge of a broken furniture.

Draco dropped himself on top of Harry, knees on the floor on both sides of Harry's stomach. "Don't you fucking ever insult my family name again, Potter" Draco spitted out while he grabbed the front of Harry's sweater and drew a fist back, ready for a blow. Harry saw this and closed his eyes, waiting for it to land.

After a few moments of waiting, Harry realized that the punch wasn't coming. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at Draco, who was still clasping his sweater and squeezing his fist. Harry saw an emotion on Draco's face that he had not seen on him before: desperation.

Draco's voice was failing him when he spoke. "He is still in prison. Do you understand that, Potter?" Draco's other hand was now gripping Harry's sweater as well. "My father is in Azkaban prison, because of you."

Harry looked deep in Draco's eyes and said with a softer voice. "I'm sorry that your sacrifice for Voldemort's cause has been so big. But you have been fooled. And it won't be getting any better either. Voldemort doesn't deserve your devotion."

Draco buried his face in to the back of his hands that were still clutching on Harry's sweater. Draco was drawing shaky breaths and silence reigned once again.

Harry didn't know what to say to the other boy falling apart on top of him so he just patted him gently on the back. That obviously wasn't the thing to do, because Draco immediately bolted up and stormed once again out of the room without a glance back.

Harry stood up groaning. He reached to the back of his head. He could already feel the bump forming.

Title of the chapter from Acrobat by U2

Jean-Paul Sartre, French philosopher and novelist: wrote about 'bad faith' (mauvaise foi)