yosha! i have succeeded in rewriting one of the most over-rewritten songs in terms of anime: Twelve Days of Christmas! this is yet another installment of my yugioh christmas songs series.

to my knowledge, i am allowed to write a song in a story so long as i've written it, as i have done, so WAHOO, this shouldn't get deleted!

if you'd like to read only the lyrics to the song, they'll be posted as the second chapter (assuming i don't get sidetracked in between the two).

disclaimer- i don't own anything that could be attached to the yugioh world. i do own my narrator, who is being torn away from his precious work in my smoothie story to work here. i also don't own the original 'twelve days of christmas', but i DID write the version that yugi sings in this story, so get off my back, fanfiction(dot)net!

The Twelve Days of Battle City

The Narrator stood on a stage, staring out at the rather sparse audience, a microphone in his hand. He raised it to his lips and waved, "Thanks for coming to the performance of 'The Twelve Days of Battle City' in Digital Dolby 3.1 sound! Please refrain from cell phone and/or camera usage and don't forget to tip the Authoress with reviews on your way out!" he cheerfully handed the mic to a petrified Yugi and skipped out.

Yugi cleared his throat a bit, "Eh-hem." The lights went down, a spotlight on Yugi.

"On the first day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: A pretty, new, shiny duel disk," a pink pouf of smoke came around Yugi's arm and said shiny item was there, gleaming proudly.

"On the second day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Two Egyptian siblings," Marik and Ishizu walked on stage, arms linked and both forcing smiles, "…and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk."

"On the third day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Three possessed friends," from where the Ishtars popped out of, now Jonouchi, Anzu and Bakura all walked out with zombie eyes and gave a creepy synchronized wave, "Two Egyptian siblings, and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk."

"On the fourth day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Four Blue-Eyed Dragons," cries of sadness were heard as three Blue-Eyes White Dragons and one Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon walked on stage.

"Gimme back my Blue-Eyes, Yugi!" yelled Kaiba, who was then knocked out with Botan's oar by the Narrator.

"I double as a bouncer, you know…"

Yugi continued, looking a bit shaky with four huge dragons looking down on him, "Three possessed friends, Two Egyptian siblings, and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk."

"On the fifth day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Five cool Magicians…" as Yugi drew out the ending note, three of Pandora's Black Magician's and his Black Magician and Black Magician Girl were shoved on stage, feeling a little insulted to be so close to the Blue-Eyes and not be able to fight. Yugi took a breath, "Four Blue-Eyed Dragons, Three possessed friends, Two Egyptian siblings, and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk."

"On the sixth day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Six puzzle cards," said cards 'floated' into Yugi's hand.

"Those are mine!" Kaiba was up and yelling again, with the Narrator holding him back, "No- no, you don't understand, I NEED those!"

The Narrator shrugged, "Too bad pal."

"Five cool Magicians…" at the moment, said magicians were starting to poke and prod at the, "Four Blue-Eyed Dragons," while the "Three possessed friends," watched dully and the "Two Egyptian siblings," were starting to cat-fight, "and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk…" which was inanimate, so it wasn't doing anything.

"Calm down, everybody!" yelled the Narrator, trying to keep them in line, "We're already halfway through the song!"

Yugi pressed on, "On the seventh day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Seven Millennium Items," a cardboard box dropped from the ceiling containing the golden items. Marik gave up on his sister and leapt for the Millennium items, only to get an electric shock.

Ishizu shook her head, "You really thought we'd put all seven Millennium Items in the same room with Marik without taking precautions?"

Marik shrugged, "Worth a shot."

Yugi held up the "Six puzzle cards," while the "Five cool Magicians…" had given up on poking and went on to throwing rocks at the "Four Blue-Eyed Dragons, Three possessed friends," and the "Two Egyptian siblings, and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk…" remained inanimate.

"On the eighth day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Eight tournament finalists…"

The Narrator gasped, "Crud, some of the finalists are already up there…"

Kaiba smirked, about to walk on, "So what are you going to do?"

"Cardboard figures!"

Eight cardboard figures, a Kaiba, a Yugi, a Mai, a Marik, a Jonouchi, a Bakura, an Ishizu, and a Lihito were rolled on, "Seven Millennium Items, Six puzzle cards, Five cool Magicians…" Magicians were now running around the room, avoiding the Burst Stream attacks from the "Four Blue-Eyed Dragons," with the "Three possessed friends," and "Two Egyptian siblings," line-dancing, "and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk…" losing some of its shine.

"On the ninth day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Nine golden hairs," Yugi raised his eyebrows as Yami no Yugi walked in.

"Everybody together!"

The magician's, possessed people and Ishtars all counted the bunches of gold hair on the Pharaoh's head, with Yami pointing to each one in turn, "1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9!"

Yugi skipped around the cardboard "Eight tournament finalists," holding the box of the "Seven Millennium Items," carrying "Six puzzle cards," as the "Five cool Magicians…" fought the "Four Blue-Eyed Dragons," and the "Three possessed friends," and the "Two Egyptian siblings," played ring around the rosy, "and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk…" was starting to get bored.

"On the tenth day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Ten (or so) hours of viewing," Yugi pulled out a calculator to check, "Yup."

"No it's not! It's more…" Kaiba knocked out again.

"Hence, 'or so'," the Narrator muttered.

"Nine golden hairs," Yugi and his darker half skipped together, "Eight tournament finalists, Seven Millennium Items, Six puzzle cards," finally the "Five cool Magicians…" were all hot and sweaty from fighting the "Four Blue-Eyed Dragons," and now, the "Three possessed friends, and "Two Egyptian siblings," had started dosy-doeing, "and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk."

"On the eleventh day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Eleven-thousand attack points," all the living, breathing people and holograms freaked out as Osiris came on the stage, knocking over the Jonouchi cardboard figure and nearly flattened one of the Blue-Eyes.

Kaiba rolled his eyes, "Eleven-thousand attack points? Isn't that pushing it?"

The Narrator shrugged, "I'm sure Osiris had eleven-thousand some time in the show."

"Ten (or so) hours of viewing, Nine golden hairs, Eight tournament finalists," with one M.I.A., "Seven Millennium Items, Six puzzle cards, Five cool Magicians…" who, with the exception of the "Four Blue-Eyed Dragons," joined the "Three possessed friends," and "Two Egyptian siblings," in the Chicken dance, "and a pretty, new, shiny duel disk."

"On the twelfth day of Battle City, dear Kaiba gave to me: Twelve important duels…" twelve tv's popped out of the floor, each showing a different duel from the Battle City saga.

Skeptical Kaiba stood up in front, "There were more than twelve…"

This time, the Narrator rolled Kaiba in a straw mat, and stuck a sock in his mouth, "Important duels, dumkopf."

"Eleven-thousand attack points," Osiris roared, knocking over Mai and Bakura cardboard figurines, "Ten (or so) hours of viewing, Nine golden hairs," Pharaoh shook his hair around, "Eight tournament finalists," everyone grabbed one and ballroom danced, "Seven Millennium Items, Six puzzle cards, Five cool Magicians…" who passed out from sheer exhaustion, "Four Blue-Eyed Dragons," who glared evilly at the dominant Osiris, "Three possessed friends," and "Two Egyptian siblings…" all stopped and crowded around Yugi to finish with, "and a pretty… new… shiny… duel… disk!"

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