Chapter 32: Even Ghosts Fear Mary Sues

Starr stared around her, Eomer began, more fear in his heart than ever before. –with big astonished amethyst eyes. The path was dreary with big sharp rocks of different gray colors. Very depressing.

"Tis very fortunate that Lady Starr is with us. Her beauty doth chase away some of the dankness." Gimli beamed.

"Ha!" Legolas said. "It chases it ALL away."

"Well, ignore me, I'm just an ignorant dwarf," Gimli mimicked.

Starr blushed from the attention. Her hair whipped gracefully around her face as the wind blasted forth from the creepy door. The horses bolted, yet Starr's compassionate heart did not feel any anger toward them.

"Well, thank the Valar!" Elladan rolled his eyes.

"I was hoping one of the horses would crush her in it's rush…" Glorfindel said forlornly.

"If any, it would have been Brego. I swear that horse is more intelligent than some men I know." Aragorn informed them.

"Oh boy." Eomer groaned, looking up from scanning the rest of the page. "Some more pointless descriptions!"

Starr stood like a goddess in stark contrast to the dark path. Her auburn hair had acquired a red sheen and a wavy tendency. Even without a week of bathing, she was glowing and positively radiant. Her eyes sparkled with a mirth that lightened the hearts of those around her. Her own heart was heavy with the fate of those to be killed in upcoming battles, yet light with the knowledge of the outcome of this war. She was happy to know at least that her Leggie, Celeste's Gornie, and the little hobbits would survive. The hobbits because Starr always put the care of young people first.

"Shows how much she knows. We're older than her." Merry scowled.

Starr had changed into an evergreen dress that resembled a tunic, yet hung down nearly to the floor. It gave her an Elven feel, with the light fabric and soft colorz. It flowed behind her like a banner, and with her slippers she moved silently over the path. She had an unearthly feel about her, full of power and mystery.

"Unearthly? This whole story is out of this world." Elrohir raised an eyebrow.

Faramir chuckled. "And not in the good way."

"Talk about impractical outfits for traveling." Arwen sighed. "Her dress would get caught or ripped, and then what would she do?"

"Walk around in nothing but her skin. Keep in mind, she has not yet grasped the concept of modesty." Eowyn replied.

Yet Legolas had been noticing lately, that the lights in her eyes were strangely dim. He could get lost in them for hours, on a journey of fantasy and bliss. He wondered if some bad childhood memories were resurfacing. If anyone had hurt her, Legolas resolved to personally hunt them down and make them pay. That bully from first grade who said she had greasy hair and abnormally big eyes was SO going down. Her teacher from seventh grade who said she was way out of touch with reality? Dead meat.

"And so the authoress unknowingly reveals some of her life…" Glorfindel commented.

"Is it sad that it makes perfect sense?" Sam wondered aloud.

Aragorn turned and glared at the stupid door. "I do not fear death." Starr giggled, Celeste would be soooo turned on if she could see her man now!

"Me neither!" she said proudly, following Aragorn in, with her faithful Leggie at her side.

"I am no one's dog." Legolas glowered.

"At least you aren't anyone's means of satisfying themselves while their significant other isn't with them…" Pippin said, looking rather gloomy.

They left Gimli behind. No one cares. Eventually he followed. Darn. They were still stuck with him.

"Stop, you're making me blush."

"I see shapes of men." Legolas whispered.

"And of horses." Starr added softly, brushing a strand of her beautiful hair out of her eyes.

Several minutes later, Starr felt the ground change beneath her light steps. Knowing what she would see, she kept her head upright.

"Do not look down," Aragorn warned the others, always a step behind Starr's extensive intelligence.

"Who enters my domane?" came a voice.

"One who will have your allegiance." Starr answered in Aragorn's frightened pause. Her voice rang out clear and crisp in the dark chamber.

"What would we do without her?" Aragorn said, a strange smile on his face.

There was a hesitation. "The…Dead do not suffer the living to pass."

Aragorn, regaining his courage at the face of Starr's tremendous bravery, said, "You will suffer me."

Laguhter echoed through the hall.

But, to save time, taking one look at Starr, the ghosts were filled with both fear and awe. They summoned a big wave of skulls which Starr managed to warn them all about and get rescued from by her Leggie.

They stood on the shore, watched those boat thingies sail by.

"You may go no farther. You will not enter Gondor." Aragorn yelled.

Legolas prepared to fire the shot. Starr had half a mind to stop Gimli from knocking the bow, but it worked out alright anyway.

"Wow!" Faramir mock-gaped. "She didn't interfere! It's a miracle!"

"Boarded? By you and whose army?" jeered one of the ruffieans.

"This army." Starr whispered in a dangerously low tone.

The dead came swooping out from behind them, and made short work of the ships and terrified men.

They cried out to Starr for a lady's mercy.

"They'd better look elsewhere for a lady." Merry grinned.

"Well, she'll somehow turn them good and add to the forces of the good guys, watch." Elladan guessed.

She turned up her nose at them. "I save my mercy for those who deserve it!"

"Did NOT see that coming."

"Isn't that totally against what mercy is all about?" Arwen sighed.

And so Starr helped conquer those ship things, and the four of them boarded them and made their way to Gondor, to surprise a few ugly orcs. But in the meantime, Starr and Leggie snuck off to have a little fun before landing. (Wink wink)

"Ugh!" Eowyn muttered, looking revolted. "No matter how I prepare myself for this, it always disgusts me!"

"You aren't the only one." Said Legolas, looking miserable.

"But you're lucky, that's the end of the chapter!" Eomer said gleefully, slamming shut the book and dropping it into Gimli's lap. "I pity you." He added softly. Gimli just glared in response as Eomer grabbed his sister and twirled her around, so happy he was to be finished.

"Poor kid," Glorfindel shook his head. "He may never recover."

"He looks just fine." Aragorn said dryly.

"Oh, yeah? Watch this." Glorfindel picked up the book and opened back to the chapter Eomer had just finished. "Eomer! You forgot a page—they were stuck together!"

To an onlooker, it would seem that Eomer was stricken down mid leap, and curled into a small whimpering ball in the corner, where the shadows seemed to grow deeper with the depression that fell over him.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be perfectly fine!" Elrohir said sarcastically.

"Well, we're ALL like that!" Aragorn protested.

Glorfindel went over to Eomer, laughing. "Kidding, I'm kidding!"

It was very fortunate for Glorfindel that he had good reflexes, or he would have a nice fist-shaped dent in his pretty face.

Pippin sighed. "What is this group coming to…"

TBC…