Chapter 42: The Wedding from Mordor

Haldir just barely managed to suppress a smug smirk as he handed the book to Thranduil. His triumph was the only thing keeping him from going absolutely bloody insane.

Thranduil took the book with a sinking feeling. The dreaded wedding, and HE was reading it! He hoped they saved the honeymoon for the next chapter. Pippin seemed to read his mind and proceeded to glare at the Elf.

The day wuz gorgeous and sunny, of course. Even the Valarr were excited for this wedding.

"Oh I'm so sure." Eowyn rolled her eyes.

"More like they couldn't wait to smite them to the ground…" Gimli smirked.

The blue sky, the bluest blue in the history of blue skies ever seen was no match for the blue-violet-green-hazel of Starr's eyes.

Celeste's gown was of the purest pink, to accent her golden hair that had been curled and swayed in da breeze.

Legolas and Aragorn looked hawt.

"Woah, big surprise there," Arwen mumbled.

There were hundreds of guests, and each brought a present. But we'll save recording the gifts for later.

"Please tell me she does not mean she is going to name every single gift." Merry said, looking slightly short of horrified. Pippin looked about two seconds away from running screaming off of the balcony.

The wedding was in a big field of all different kinds of flowers. The seats were covered with garlandz of flowers and the aisle was a red carpet. Arry and Lego ("Oh, our names are more formal now, Aragorn!" Legolas said shrilly.) waited sorta impatiently for their brides.

Suddnely the music started up and a thousand pure white doves were released into the air.

" 'And lyke were totally shot down by sum hott and shirtless Elvin archers for dinner that nyght!'"

"ELLADAN!"

The orchestra began a sweet melody and the sun seemed to shine brighter. Arwen and Eowyn came down the aisle and it darkened and everyone pointed and laughed. Then came the brides…

They were absolutely gorgeous, stunning, breath-taking, and beautiful. Leggie almost fainted with happiness.

They made their way down the aisle with flower petals and ribbons swirling around them.

The priest said all that stuff, then all four said together, "I do."

"The reception should be excellent." Elrohir said with barely-contained sarcasm.

Starr stood as everyone got seeted in the hall of their reception.

"I have an announcement to make." She said. Everyone sat up straight and paid attention, extremely captivated and interested.

Starr smiled at Leggie. "I am very proud to say that nine months from now their will be an addition to our new family."

Legolas jumped up and kissed her, as everyone broke into applause and tears of joy.

Meanwhile, back in REALITY, it couldn't have been more quiet.

Finally, Eomer broke the silence. "Well, we should've expected this, right? I mean, they have done it, what, sixty times? It was bound to happen."

Legolas was looking positively revolted at the thought. His father was glaring at the page as if hoping to burn those words right out of the book.

Elrond stood up too, once Starr was finished. "I too have something to announce. Since Arwen was too ugly to marry Aragorn and become queen, I'm sick of waiting for her to succeed in life. So I wish to adopt Celeste Sakurablossom as my new daughter."

"She just made Ada look greedy and power-hungry. And she insulted our sister." Elladan said, affronted.

"She's going down." Elrohir agreed.

"Sure, NOW you side with me. What took so long!"

"It was funny before, but now she crossed the line." Elladan informed her.

"Hmph."

"I've always wanted to be an only child!" Celeste said.

Elrohir and Elladan sported identical looks of disownment.

Arwen smirked. "Permission to point and laugh?"

"Permission granted." Eowyn giggled.

And so she did.

Celeste received her crown and a brand new daddy! Aragorn personally made the crown, it was pink and covered with real diamonds and rubies and sapphires and emeralds.

"So it's like a bloody rainbow on her head." Pippin muttered.

It was like a crown of rainbows.

Pippin grinned.

Sam nudged his arm. "I wouldn't be proud to be thinking like them…"

"And now," Celeste said, raising a hand to silence the cheers of her adoring fans. "We shall begin the party, and we will be talking to our friends during it."

Starr stepped up to Faramir. "I did not haveth the pleasure of getting to know you like Celeste did." She winked. "But I hope we have a chance to get together soon. And I feel ur pain, being stuck with Eowny. If you ever need me to get her out of ur hair, I can have her locked up in the dungeons…In fact, I'll do so right now."

Arwen and Eowyn were dragged off to be chained up and quite possibly taken advantage of by the guards.

Thranduil sniggered slightly at this, but stopped immediately at the murderous looks he was getting from the two females.

Celeste went to Eomer. "I'm glad you are finally free of your horrible sister, and congrats on being king! I hope Gondor and Rohan will be like best friends for eva!"

Starr approached Pippin and Merry. "My dear hobbits, little young ones—

"Yes, ignoramus?" replied Merry with fake cheer.

"You are stronger than you know, and I see great things in your future. Stay adorable." They beamed up at her.

Celeste walked over to Frodo and Sam. "Congrats on completing your mission, you two are so strong and brave and saved the world (with our help and lots of it!)!"

"Oh no she didn't!" Sam scowled.

Both girls skipped over Gimli becuz he was really drunk and would prolly feel them up.

"I would be angry, but I'd rather not hear what they have to say to me." Gimli shrugged.

Starr then entertained the group by singing lots and lots of songs, and they were enchanted by the sweet sound.

Celeste, as playful as she was, started a cake fight, which soon progressed into a group bath.

"A GROUP BATH!" Aragorn howled.

"That is wrong on SO many levels!" Glorfindel shuddered.

TBC….