The Wants of the Few
Author's Notes: One of the few chapters I've written for any story that actually made me cry.
Chapter 2 – Hello Soldier
Gracia carried the heavy bags down the street. Her arms were beginning tire. 'I should have asked Riza if I could borrow her car.' She thought as she started to walk by Ziemlich Park. She slowed and stopped in front of the entrance. Memories of Maes rushed back to her. They'd come here on their first date. He'd been so cute trying to impress her by climbing a tree. She smiled as she remembered how he fell flat on his back within a few moments. It was funny until they realized he'd twisted his ankle. She'd helped him waddle over to a little park bench and they laughed about how ridiculous the whole thing was. 'I wonder if the bench is still there.' She thought, her heart longing to see her beloved husband again. Before she realized it she was already walking into the park toward the bench. Gracia was stunned to see that not only was the bench still there, but there was someone familiar sitting on it.
"Hello soldier." She said to him. It wasn't something she'd usually say, but somehow it fit. His shoulders were rounded and hunched and they looked as if they were holding the weight of the world on them. This wasn't a man, it was a soldier, a servant of the country. His eyes were squinted as he stared out into the air in front of him. He looked as if he were trying to see something that wasn't quite there. He didn't look at her as he said, "Hello Gracia."
"Mind if I take a seat Roy?"
He shook his head coming out of his trance and moved over on the bench. "No of course not. Go ahead." She sat down silently and they both sat there in the quiet as they watched a few children playing in a sandbox. The silence engulfed the two and Gracia searched for something to say. Before she could think of something Roy spoke, "So what are you doing here?"
"I was out shopping for Elysia's birthday…its tomorrow you know." She replied. He nodded, never taking his eyes from the children in the sandbox.
"Where is she?" after a pause, he turned to face her, "Elysia I mean."
"Oh, Riza was kind enough to baby-sit for me today." He only nodded at the answer and turned his gaze back to the children in the park. After watching the children some more he spoke again, "Hughes really loved being a father."
"Yes." Gracia responded, smiling a little at the memory.
"He was a great father." Roy offered.
She nodded. "He was a great husband." The quiet threatened to overtake them again, but Gracia fought it. "He talked about you all the time Roy." Roy said nothing, but redirected his attention to a young couple sitting on the grass. Gracia noticed his change in focus and said, "He was always trying to get you to settle down. Marry you off to someone."
"And I always told him that it wasn't any of his business."
Gracia's voice softened, "I think he just wanted you to be happy…to have what he had." The conversation hushed. Questions plagued Gracia's mind, but she didn't want to be rude. Both of them knew what she was going to ask, it was only a matter of time. Finally when Gracia realized that Roy wasn't going to offer the information to her, she asked. "Why haven't you settled down? Started a family?"
Roy didn't say anything for a moment, but just continued to watch the young couple with interest. "I'd never want to do to my family what Hughes did to yours." Gracia's brows knitted together. "What do you mean?" she asked.
He turned to face her dead on. "He left you."
Gracia was slightly taken back. "He didn't leave me. He was taken."
"It doesn't matter. Either way, he's gone. Either way you were still left alone to raise Elysia by yourself." Gracia didn't know how to respond. When she didn't say anything Roy continued, "He knew the risks when you two got married. Being in the military means that there's always the possibility that you'll be killed. Desk job or no desk job, the risk is always there."
"We loved each other—did you really just expect him to break things off with me? Did you expect us to just go our separate ways and forget the connection we had?"
He sighed, "No. Of course not. But you asked me why I never settled down and I told you." He turned back to watch the couple again, and a quiet came over them once more. Eventually Gracia braved another attempt at the conversation. "Do you ever think about starting a family…do-did you ever want a family?"
He didn't take his eyes off the couple this time. "Of course I wanted a family. I think about it every morning at 8:05."
Gracia was immediately confused, "8:05?"
"Yes. That's when she comes in every morning. 8:05 on the dot." Gracia suddenly understood. Neither said her name, but both of them knew who he was referring to. He continued, "Do you really think that I wouldn't want a family? I'd love to have a family…I'd give anything to know that when I lay down every night I can look her in the eyes and kiss her goodnight, and she'll be there in the morning."
"Then why don't you-"
"I said I'd give anything…and it's true, but there may come a time when I end up just like Hughes—I'd never want to put her through that." He paused as he looked back at Gracia. "Every time I see you, I see her. I see what she'd look like if something were to happen to me—I'd never want to do to her what Hughes did to you and Elysia."
Gracia was feeling a little angry, Roy was making her husband's death sound like it was Maes' fault. "Maes didn't do this to us. He didn't leave us, he was taken. Roy, I knew the risks when I married him, and I married him anyway. I thank God every day because I had the opportunity to know him…to be with him. If I had the chance, I'd do it all over again. It wasn't until I met Maes that I realized how incomplete I was, just being with him—it made me whole, and I wouldn't have given it up for the world."
Roy was silent. After a moment he spoke, his voice low, "What about Elysia? I don't think she really had a choice in this matter. You knew the risks of marrying a military man, but Elysia didn't have a choice. Its not just for her, what if we had children—they'd have to grow up without a father, just like Elysia has to. I don't want the people I leave behind to hurt. I made it my life's mission to rise to the top, to fix this country. I knew that by making that choice, I was going to have to give up any chance of having a family…but the needs of the many outweigh the wants of the few. I'd rather die knowing that I helped change this country, than die knowing that my children will never have a father and my wife will have to raise our children alone." Gracia was speechless.
They continued to sit in silence, but finally Gracia found her voice. "I'm sorry you feel that way Roy. Getting married, having Elysia, they were the best decisions of my life. Even if he was taken away, I'm glad that I was able to be with him when I was." Gracia stood up, and started to pick up one of the bags she had. The bag was a little too heavy though and the bottom fell out. A square package tumbled out and rolled to a rest at Roy's feet. It was wrapped in bright blue wrapping paper and as Roy bent down to pick it up he was able to read the tag. 'To my baby girl, I'll always love you. Love, Daddy.' Roy could feel a ball forming at the back of his throat. "Love Daddy?" he said looking up at her. She nodded slowly as she gently took the package from him. "Maes was going to have a music box made for Elysia last year, but he put it off too long and the man couldn't get it finished in time for her birthday. He decided to just wait and have it finished for her birthday this year." She explained
"It was pretty bold of you to put 'Love Daddy' on the tag. What will Elysia think?"
"A few years ago Hughes took out an insurance policy on himself so that if he was ever killed in the line of duty Elysia and I would be supported by the military for the rest of their lives. The money that we get is substantially more than what he was paid originally because they promoted him two ranks after his death. It was that money that paid for the music box to be finished…so it really is from 'Daddy'." Roy couldn't find the words. It seems that even when people die, their presence is still felt in ways that their loved ones couldn't imagine. Roy helped her pick of the other packages, but soon they both realized that there wasn't a way that she'd be able to carry all the gifts with the ripped bag. "Do you want me to help you get these home?" Roy asked. Gracia nodded, a small smile on her face. Despite their little spat, she was still grateful for Roy's presence. It seemed that they both could use company right now.