Between Heaven and Hell
Chapter 6: Mixed Feelings
The forest became somewhat peaceful as the rainfall persisted. When I closed my eyes and listened to all the trickling sounds around, I almost forgot about my troubles; being alone in the rain now has somehow mollified me. The gentleness of drizzling rain reminds me of a time with Selphie…one rainy morning when my life was…anything but this…
Six thirty in the morning, my alarm clock rang loud enough to explode my eardrums. I cringed at its dreadful sound and curled like an infant in my blanket. My sleep was too peaceful for an interruption by the ring tone of that stupidly annoying clock. Then, like an angel sent from heaven, she reached over me and silenced the impish ringing, which I could have easily turned over and ceased for myself had I not shriveled within my comforter.
As she pulled her arm back, she rested her face against my arm, "Sweetie, you have to get up. Your boss' meeting is today."
I turned over and faced the clock on the dresser while muttering a few foreign words unrelated to any language on earth, and I heard her giggle against my back. She embraced me from behind as I dug my head underneath my pillow with a mellow sigh.
"Come on, Squall. You'll get angry with yourself later on if you miss this meeting. You told me you wanted to get up early enough to beat the other guys in the office just to impress your dad, right?"
I groaned underneath my pillow. Who told her she had to be so informative? Why does she always have to remember everything I tell her from days and centuries ago? And she continued,
"Okay then. You've forced me to get the ice-cold water-" Immediately, I pushed myself from the bed, and she laughed as my pillow slid from my head and down to my back. She laughed out loud and tried to cover her mouth, as she spoke, "Works every time, doesn't it?"
I squinted my eyes and gave her a mean glare, "That is an evil way to get a person out of bed."
"Oh whatever, you completely exaggerated everything that happened that morning! I didn't even put ice in that cup of water!"
"You don't know what it felt like! You've never had someone splash you with cold water while you were sleeping!"
"That's right, and I don't intend to."
I looked away and mumbled, "One of these days."
"No!" She squealed, "You better not!" When I faced her with a grimly smirk, she stopped all movements and silenced her breathing, "…Squall…come on. Please don't do this to me…"
"Oh but I will, and I'll enjoy every second of it too." I quickly grabbed the pillow from my back and threw it at her face.
"Squall!" She yelled while grabbing her own pillow for defense.
"Selphie!" I mimicked her cry, and she laughed again. I watched her brown hair jiggle up and down each time she took a breath just to continue her increasingly high pitch laughing. I couldn't bring myself to do anything else to her. I just wanted to watch her, to be with her. I smiled and she quieted down. When I continued to stare at her, there was silence all around us. And then…the rain poured onto the windowpane.
Selphie smiled and bit her lower lip seductively; "…You can tell them you were tardy because the weather was bad…"
"Selphie…" I groaned and pulled a few berries from the bushes of the mountainside where Rinoa and I had gone before. With all my might I want to forget about that place. I want to forget everything that ever happened to me back there. If I continue to dwell on my past life, how can I possibly survive this misery? When I put it that way, I guess my situation really is hopeless and it doesn't matter what I do, say, or think…because I'm already, "…Dead."
As much as it kills me terribly inside to admit, I miss that woman, but I miss her warmth the most. How could she just bring that guy into our home and…
The mystifying rain poured on, and I lowered my head as it continued to fall softly onto my shoulders. It sent cool streams of water through my hair and went to my forehead. I was lost in its natural essence. Somehow, this place knows how I feel…it understands me… Is it…right to think that way?
I must be losing my mind.
I opened my eyes and continued to gather more waxberries, but soon realized that there weren't anymore to be picked from this area. I looked down into my folded shirt at the so-called stash I had made and sighed, "…Great. Five berries will do us all just fine." I said sarcastically with a grin.
Forcing myself to gather more for Rinoa, Fujin, and myself, I decided to stick to the mountainsides. Since most of the waxberry bushes seemed to grow along those walls, I figured I could get the task done quickly and make it back before the sun went down.
It's like the'mountainside' is a large wall that just continues to go up and around, and it surrounds the entire forest. It doesn't really look climbable…probably because I don't have any equipment. If I did…I would get over that wall in a flash. The light brown, walnut colored chunks of rock on the ground are probably remnants of its crumbly walls falling from the top and crashing every so often. When I saw a few bushes growing from the mountainside, I stopped walking. "Back to work." I muttered.
- -
"Finally. This should be enough." I patted my hand on the bottom of my shirt, which I held up by its tail, and had placed the berries inside the core like a bag of some sort. I sighed and looked at the bushes once more, but right beside the bushes was a crack in the mountainside so deep, I had to bend down to examine it closely.
And I stooped down to look inside the crevice, "Hey, what do you think you're doing!" I hear Seifer yell from behind me, and I felt something heavy crash on the back of my head. I released my hand from my shirt and watched as every single waxberry I picked had fallen to the ground. And I reached to back of my head, and felt a stinging moistness in my hair.
I was not surprised to find blood on my hand when I pulled it back, and then I…
"Hmm? Out cold, eh?" I heard him say before everything went black.
- -
When I opened my eyes, I saw the blurriness of objects flashing from left to right within my view. When my vision finally settled and I was able to make out my surroundings, I grabbed the nearest thing I could find and held onto it. I slowly lifted my body from the ground and got to my knees.
"Here sleepyhead, have a fruit." Seifer said as he pitched a waxberry at my back.
"…What did you do that for?" Amazing, the first words from my mouth and I sounded like some kid. I staggered about for a bit as I stood from the ground and faced him. I touched the back of my head and glared at him.
"Where's Rinoa?" He asked me while standing from the ground.
"…She's not with me."
"You bastard! You better tell me where Rinoa is, or else!" He said while trotting toward me with a glare of his own eyes.
"Or else, what?" I said while standing up to him. In an instant, I felt better than I had before. There's no way I'm going to allow him to talk to me that way. I put my hand down from my hand and looked into his eyes, "What are you going to do!"
"You little punk!" He spat at me and swung his arm in for a punch, but I ducked and tackled him. I punched him in his mouth a few times and he kicked me off making me fall on the ground into the mud. He rose up quickly and wrapped his arms around my neck trying to choke me. I bit his arm and he let go of me, but kicked me in my back. Ignoring the pain, I got up quickly and jabbed him in his nose. "Aah! Dammit!" He said angrily while grabbing me by the neck and threshing me hard against the walls of the mountainside. I screamed when I made contact with the wall, and fell back on the ground.
He knelt down and put his hand on his chest, breathing heavily, as was I, and we sat in silence.
He started laughing and had looked down at me while continuing to laugh.
The rain finally settled and now, I was sitting with my back against a tree listening to Seifer as he began talking about his life before this madness. All the while, I still wonder why in the heck is there a giant crevice in that wall…
"I was the best damn career criminal there ever was-"
"But you got caught." I said and he looked at me while smirking.
"…Guess it was my time." He stood from the ground and rubbed his jaw, a spot where one of my punches had landed during our fight.
"…Why are you so concerned about Rinoa?" I asked and folded my arms.
"…She's the only reason I'm still here. It's my duty to protect her…its what her father wanted."
"Huh?" He really believed in Seifer enough to ask him to watch over his daughter? The guy's a criminal for crying out—oh well…I guess the safety of a criminal is a hell of a lot better than the teeth of a T-Rex…
"Mr. Caraway and my Pop go back a long way. Since Rinoa was sentenced to death around the same time as me, Caraway paid me a visit…and asked me to look after her."
"What crime did she commit? Why was she sentenced to death?"
"Exactly what I want to know. I know she isn't capable of murdering anyone, yet she's playing the part so well. All I know is…something happened when a deal went bad. Sparks flew, and then several days later, Rinoa was under arrest for the murder of three businessmen."
"What!"
"The thing is…Caraway and a few other guys were in the room too. Rumor has it that Caraway shot the guns himself, but Rinoa took the fall for the sake of his career." He looked at the puddles on the ground and sighed, "That's why I'm so over protective of her…she's really the only person who doesn't belong here."
"…Well she is an arsonist too." Maybe a fire went bad and killed a few people…?
"What are you trying to say? …Are you judging her?"
"No…I'm just saying-"
"I don't know who you are, and I don't care, but if you ever try to judge someone else, you'd best take a look at yourself. You're here too, and I'm sure there's a good reason for that! Obviously, you ain't perfect either, so deal with it."
What's his problem? "Do you have something against me?" I asked, standing from my seat on the tree root. I'm tired of him. I really am. Ever since day one, there has been strangeness to this guy that just can't trust.
"I don't like your attitude." He said as he stood from his seat as well.
"What attitude! If you have something to say to me-"
"That attitude! Like I said…I don't know who you are, but you've been courting Rinoa ever since you showed up on that damned vessel!"
He was right…that vessel is damned… I may as well not even know who I am either. Look at me; I'm not even sure if I'm innocent or guilty! And of all things---"I'm not courting her!"
"I saw you two in that tree last night! Don't even try to lie."
Wait a minute… I thought he showed up this morning… "…It was you! You were the person I saw in the dark!" He must've been walking around the mountainside late at night, looking for her. The mountainside…this crevice; the way he's acting like I'm intruding. I wonder what he's up to. "…What are you hiding?"
"Hiding? I've got nothing to hide."
I pointed to the mountainside, "That wall…what's there? You were walking near a place similar to this the night Rinoa and me were in the tree."
"…Get out of here before I have to break Rinoa's heart."
"Break Rinoa's heart?"
"You really have no idea how scared she was when you distracted that T-Rexaur…by the way, I never got a chance to thank you for that."
"Don't mention it." I said while folding my arms and looking at the ground. The rain had stopped, just when I needed another cool down. My face hurts like hell. "Well, I'd be worried about someone that just risked their life for me too."
"You're a fool." Seifer said as he picked up a waxberry. "…The only thing you have to do is grab her hand in a run, but never try to defend her. You'll never win in a fight against the T-Rexaurs."
I looked back at him blankly and sighed, "…Whatever." That's right. Whatever it is inside that crevice can wait a little later to be uncovered. After all, it's not like I'm really going any place else. I turned away from him and headed back to find Rinoa again.
As I walked away, I heard an object being flung to the tree. Like a dart on a dartboard, a small dagger stabbed the tree I walked passed. I looked back and studied it for a moment, "…What the…" I heard Seifer laugh and charge after me. Where in the hell did he get a dagger from! I took off running and soon heard his laughter no more.
If there's anything I have to do, its find Rinoa and tell her about Seifer, but then I wonder…does she know about this too?
The muddy puddles on the ground are not only dangerous to run in, but with that splashy sound every time I walk, it's a surefire way to attract an angry T-Rexaur. I'm starting to wish it were still raining.
The way the forest seems to glow fuzzily after the rainfall makes it impossible to find the right back. I'll have to start putting placement holders, like pieces of clothing, around if I don't want to get lost again.
The blurring sour colors of green and brown make it difficult to distinguish a tree from the mud in the far away distance. I ran as fast as I could to get to her, to Rinoa, just wanting to explode with the information from Seifer. There's something that pig isn't telling us, and I want to know. I'm sure Rinoa would want to know too.
"Squall, is that you!" I heard her call from some place in the woody trees, and I stopped running.
"Yeah, Rinoa. Where are you?"
"Over here." I followed the sound of her voice and found her putting her wet hair back into a ponytail. "Fujin left right after it stopped raining. I'm worried about her…" I watched as she seemed to become satisfied with the flow of her hair, and had wiped a few strands behind her ear.
"Fujin seems to have a strong will. I'm sure she'll be okay."
"She didn't seem to look so well when she left." Rinoa said with a sigh, "Her eye…it's…"
"I know…"
"I can't stand it, Squall. I hate those monsters!" She yelled and covered her face in her hands. "…We run and we live, but everyday they pick at us slowly. One by one we're gone, just like that!" She moved her hands and looked me, "…Did you know there were two others with Fujin before you met her yesterday?" I looked at the ground…now that she mentions it…Seifer kept speaking of Fujin as 'they.' I wondered why she was the only one, but then I quickly forgot that there were supposed to be more people.
Rinoa has said before that the few survivors decrease in number daily.
She turned her back and took a deep breath, "…The others…they practically laughed when I vowed I wouldn't die here. They've all grown up and accepted their fate. I guess…it's time for me to do the same."
"No, that's not true. Most of those to laugh at you have already died. They didn't accept their fate…they gave up trying. Rinoa, you're more focused than the rest of these people. I know that you'll stay true to your word…" I approached her and rested my hand on her shoulder. "So they'll try again and again to put you down so that you can suffer along with them."
She slowly faced me with seriousness written all in her eyes, "...How can you be so sure?"
How can I be so sure? Seifer is my prime example, accusing me of filling her head with stupid ideas, hiding something away from us that's probably helpful, and allowing others to die without feeling anything from them…
So when she asks how can I be so sure, I know there was no way I can deny that Seifer and everyone else sees my determination as well. They despise it.
So I replied, "…Because I want to escape too."
She stood there for a moment and then smiled at me. I know whatever it is Seifer is hiding…he's hiding from both of us. I've got to tell her everything…
Rinoa took a deep breath, but said nothing. Maybe my words made more an affect than I realized.
"Rinoa…about Seifer. Who exactly is he?"
"…Just some guy that worked under my dad in the company. I think he was from Esthar…I'm not too sure. Why?"
"…I ran into him today." More like rumbled with him…
"Is that so? Did he threaten you again?"
"…I guess you could put it that way. Anyway, he told me that you were accused of killing three men. I thought you said you set fire to someone's house?"
"…Well." She scratched her face and turned away. What am I thinking? I was supposed to tell her about Seifer, not this… "It's a long story."
"…It's okay." I sighed and studied the ground, feeling the moistness still within the air. Perhaps the T-Rexaurs are having trouble breathing…?
"Rinoa…how well do you know Seifer?"
"…To tell you the truth. Until we rode the same vessel, I had never met him before." She said she wiped her arms to rid the rainwater from sticking to her skin. "Why? Did he say anything?"
"…He's acting extremely weird." As if he wasn't acting weird when we first got here. The way he looked at everyone else, as if he were some type of god, it really got on my nerves. "And I think he knows more than he's willing to tell."
"…I have to admit, Seifer's a pretty secluded person. He doesn't like people meddling in his affairs."
"…I don't think it's just his personality. I think he's hiding something."
"Something like what?"
"I don't know, but I do know that whatever it is…it's by the tree with slept in last night. I saw someone snooping around in the dark, and I'm pretty sure it was Seifer. Plus, he threw a dagger at my head!"
"What! A dagger!" She asked while facing me again.
I grabbed her shoulders and toned down my voice, "Yeah, you've got to come with me."
She looked at the ground and folded her arms, then brought her eyes to meet mine. "…Okay." I let go of her arms and we headed out to uncover the truth.
Auther's Corner:
Hey again everyone, and yes I'm back. You won't wait long before the other chapter comes up. And I think I kinda need some support right now, as it is a rough time for me. Anyway, like Isaid in the beginning...I have to get all of the drama out of the way before everything boilsover or what have you.So, I'm sorry if it sucks right now, but I won't let you down :gulps: again? lol
Please bear with me…I'm a little nervous about this. And thanks for reading.
Thanks skyedream, I understand completely. :)
StardustRay