Blood red roses

Okay, I'm back and I have one thing to say. Thank you!!! Every one loved this story. On the first day it was up I got 12 reviews!!! Which was the same amount as my other two combined. So since you all liked it so here is the second chapter. If you have any ideas for where this story should go please, tell me! I only have a vague idea of the plot so suggestions are welcome!

Oh and check out my other story, My Best Friends girl !

Disclaimer( I think I forgot this in the last chapter) = I do not own YuYuHakusho and while we are talking about nonexistent things, I DO NOT CUT MYSELF ! (happy Rai?)

"kitsune"

"Fox get off your lazy butt and come own"

Kurama opened one eye tentivly and shut it quickly. He felt like crap. The ache that was slowly becoming permanent, on his wrist was throbbing. Even though his cuts healed only minutes after the incision was made the place itself would hurt for weeks after. He could heal himself with some herd but he refused to do so. The pain served as a constant reminder of how worthless he was.

"Fox stop being lazy and get up"

Why was he dreaming of Hiei? (no not yaoi) It took him a moment before he realized the half kromie was in the room with him. With a small groan he sat up.

"what is it Hiei?" he asked struggling to keep his voice calm and even. That was getting to be harder and harder these days.

"Took you long enough." Was the fire demons annoyed reply .

Hiei was perched on his window seal dressed in his usual all black outfit looking at him with the closet thing to a smile that he would allow. A quick glance at the clock next to his bed read eight A.M.. Perfect, he had gotten a whole six hours. A record for him lately.

"Are you in trouble? You didn't kill anyone?"

"Hn as if I could with all the barriers that foul brat has set up" Was his reply. Kurama couldn't help but notice the slightly wistful look that he gave at the mention of blood shed. He wondered if his memory's haunted him at night. Most likely no, due to the fact Hiei's conscience (if he even had one) never seemed to bother him.

"Why are you here Hiei?" Normally he enjoyed the fire demons company. In fact he was one of the few people who still brought him happiness in his dismal existence. But today he didn't want to deal with him.

NOTE: That last bit kinda sounds .... I dunno iffy. Let me repeat this story will not be a Hiei/ Kurama. They're just really good friends. Hiei actually understands Kurama's darker side. He doesn't know about his cuttings .....yet.

"The toddler wants to see us in his office. This afternoon" Was his rely at last.

"Why did Koenma get you to deliver the message?"

"The ogre ran away and I happened to be around "Hiei said darkly.

"Have you told Yusuke or Kuwabarra or Yusuke yet?"

"No"

"Did Koenma say what we have to do ? A new mission? Or does he just want to talk?"

"How should I know?"

The conversation carried on like that for a while longer. It seemed like any conversation they'd had before. Hiei had no idea about him. That was how good he'd become he could hide from anyone. He could put up his shied around anyone, even his best friend.

He'd always been a great con man. He'd learned the tricks when he was young, and he carried him with him till this day. The first and number one rule, to him at least, was Keep calm and composed. Don't show emotion.

When he first started cutting himself he had to remember that rule more than anything else. He could barely look his mother in the eye he felt so filthy. He still felt unclean, but he'd finally perfected his act his routine. No one knew. And no one ever would.

"You better go and tell Yusuke and Kuwabara." He finally said. After a brief Hn, he was gone. With a small sigh Kurama sank back against his pillows. A moment later he reached for his journal.

10-11-04, the morning

I cut myself again last night. I don't know why I still write that every time . I cut myself every night. Maybe I'm trying to document exactly what a maniac I am.

Hiei came by to say that Koenma wants see us later in his office. I don't know if I'll be able to face the others. I'm always so afraid they'll find out about me. I know there's just about no way they could. My cuts don't show and I'd never do it where they could find me but still., there's that big what if. If I get hurt bad enough will my cuts come open? Will one of them put together the signs?

The other day I typed cutting in on the search engine the other day. Several pages came up. Mostly teenage girls do it, And normally they have personality disorders , anorexia, and, or depression. Wears baggy clothes, hoes to the bathroom frequently, paler skin are all signs of some one who cuts themselves.

None of those things applies to me.

No one will ever know.

Sometimes I ask , Do I want someone to find out about me? Do I want them to see the real me?
I can't answer that question.

I know it's wrong. I know I shouldn't. But I can't stop. It feels so good not to be perfect. To see my blood flowing out of my wrist is one of the most invigorating things ever.

Since I vowed to be totally honest I can go ahead and say it here. I can't stop.

And I don't want to.

Nobody knows my pain.

Inside I'm untamed

My life keeps crumbling'

My composure is ending

They say they know me

But what will they see

When they see the real me

But by then it will be to late

By then I'll surrender to fate

Can't anybody see?

I'm crying help me

A/N The poem was written by me. It's part of a series of poems I wrote for this story. I'll probably put one in each chapter. Tell me if you like it.

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