For what it's worth, it was worth all the while
Harry was in Potions. He really didn't have the energy to be focusing on the potion he was brewing and consequently the disgustingly orange goo came boiling over while he was lost in thought, staring at Draco's unoccupied chair.
"Potter!" Snape was immediately by his side, his face contorted in a particularly nasty sneer, that could have partially been due to the nauseating stink of the burned potion. "I should hope that-"
"Yeah, well hope is a precious thing for a man of your age" Harry cut him off with a clear voice. He didn't want to hear anything the dear professor had to say.
The look on Snape's face turned into one of rage as the greasy-haired man gathered force for a rant from hell.
Harry gave the man a look of pure disgust before turning on his heels and walking out the door. It took everything in his power of control not to use the appropriate hand-sign to go with the glare. He slammed the door closed, effectively cutting off Snape's yells of rage. He walked a little way further in the corridor, sliding his hand along it's wall, before he slumped to sit on the floor.
Shite. He had just made the rest of the school year that much more difficult for himself. He felt so tired now, as all the adrenaline left his body. He vaguely wondered if Snape would be able to ban him from his lessons for this.
The only thing Harry could think of to do in a situation like this, was to go to the headmaster's office. So he stood up again and started making his way out of the dungeons.
"Hello Harry" Dumbledore said gently to the boy standing at the door. "Would you like to sit down?"
Harry did just that and Dumbledore himself sat back, pressing the tips his fingers together. The headmaster waited for Harry to say what was on his mind.
Sighing, the gryffindor decided there was no beating around the bush. "I blew a fuse in Potions" he said with a monotonous voice. "And then I walked out."
Something of a disappointment flickered in the old wizard's eyes. "I will not ask you to agree with professor Snape, but I must insist you respect his authority as a mentor of yours" Dumbledore said seriously. "I will not give you detention as I am sure that professor Snape will be quite prepared to administer the proper punishment."
"Yes, sir" Harry said quietly, looking at his lap.
After a moment Dumbledore sat up, crossing his fingers on the table. "Is there something you would like to tell me, Harry?" he asked kindly.
"I think there is a possibility that Snape's position in the Order, whatever it may be, has been compromised" Harry said without looking up.
"Professor Snape" Dumbledore corrected him.
"Yes, sir" Harry mumbled to his lap. Dumbledore didn't say anything so Harry went on. "I... I became friends with Draco Malfoy this last fall. He guessed that Snape was a spy from something I said." Harry looked up. "He said he wouldn't tell Voldemort about it, but if he was..." Harry's voice failed him and his breathing became shallow. "If he was tort-" He just couldn't say it aloud.
"No" Dumbledore said quickly. "He hadn't been tortured."
Harry closed his eyes and nodded. "Could they have used Legilimency?" he said.
"No, there is no sign of that" Dumbledore replied immediately. "I assure you, Harry, professor Snape has his bases covered. You needn't worry about that."
"How can you be sure about Legilimency?" Harry needed to know. If they had read Draco's mind. If they had known what Harry had told him. If they had known about him and Draco. It was his fault all over again. He just knew it.
Harry noticed that Dumbledore didn't answer him right away. "Please sir, tell me" Harry said, begging. He leaned forward on his chair and put his palm on the headmaster's table, almost as if he was trying to reach out for the old wizard. "I need to know."
Dumbledore nodded his head mournfully and Harry pulled back to sit straighter on his chair.
"Mr. Malfoy's body was found in the entrance hall of his own home, the Malfoy Manor. From the position of the body, it has been concluded that he was hit in the back with the Avada Kadevra curse. It is apparent that Mr. Malfoy had just arrived, as he was still wearing his traveling cloak. He had been walking forward from the door, carrying his luggage, when he was killed by an unidentified Death Eater. He had not come face to face with anyone since he had left Hogwards a few hours before."
Harry closed his eyes and tried to breath normally. He could see him, Draco, lying in a dark manor, still wearing his cloak, his luggage lying on the floor, eyes open with an almost surprised look in them...
"Why did they do it?" Harry whispered.
"Lucius Malfoy had approached the Ministry about a possibility of a deal" Dumbledore said. "He was negotiating about trading his knowledge about his Lord for a shortening of his sentence. Voldemort ordered Draco, Lucius's only son, to be killed as a warning of some kind." Dumbledore took a pause at this. "Apparently, it worked too" he went on, shaking his head. "Lucius Malfoy has ended all negotiations."
Harry frowned. "But it makes no sense!" he exclaimed. "And Draco would have become a Death Eater. He would have been a good Death Eater. They shouldn't have killed him."
"No, Harry" Dumbledore said. "I don't think Draco Malfoy would ever have become a Death Eater."
"What?" Harry whispered.
"Ever since the start of the school year, and in an increasing amount as the fall progressed, it has been very clear that Mr. Malfoy was deliberately keeping a low profile. My sources have told me that he and his mother both have been absent from all 'social events' that a family of their history should have participated in."
Dumbledore considered his words. "The recruiting of Death Eaters isn't the same this time around. People are no more deluded about the true nature of being a Death Eater. Youngsters do not drift into it the same way as before. Today, it is a choice, and I believe that when the time of that choice would have come, Mr. Malfoy wouldn't have joined." Dumbledore looked over his half-moon spectacles. "My guess is that during the school year, he found something worth fighting for."
Harry was half-running towards the lake, clutching his robe tightly around himself. When his godfather had died, Hagrid had tried to comfort him by telling him that it had been the way Sirius would have wanted to go. He had dismissed it back then, but now he couldn't help thinking that anything was better than this. Draco had been killed for reasons that had nothing to do with him. He had been cursed in the back while he was visiting his sick mother. It was unbearable.
Harry reached the lake and sat down on the trunk. "Why didn't you tell me you weren't going to become a Death Eater?" he demanded urgently.
Draco turned from the lake with a slightly surprised expression. He came to sit beside Harry, but didn't answer immediately.
'We were living in a bubble' he finally said seriously. 'It was almost like another universe, where there was no yesterday, no future, no Voldemort, no problems to face and no decisions to be made. There was just the moment.' Draco paused, shaking his head. 'Nobody ever knew, nobody ever confronted us about what we were doing, and we sure as hell didn't confront ourselves about it either.'
Draco turned to look at Harry. 'But you're right' he said looking deeply into Harry's eyes. 'I should have told you that I wasn't going to become a Death Eater. You should have told me that you loved me. I should have told you that I couldn't see my future without you. And you should have told me that you pulled away because you were afraid of losing me.'
Harry looked over the lake. He was so tired. He could still feel Draco's eyes on him.
'We made mistakes' Draco finally said. 'But it was special for us. And I wouldn't change it for the world.'
Harry looked at the slytherin again.
'I know you're sad now,' Draco went on, 'but I wish you wouldn't want to change it either.'
Harry sighed deeply. He shook his head slightly, but still kept his eyes on Draco. "No, I wouldn't" he admitted.
It was nighttime and Harry's dorm mates were all asleep. Harry was lying on his side, staring out into the darkness and silently trying to cry himself to sleep.
He felt another body spoon him from back. A hand appeared and wiped away the tears from his cheek and tucked his hair behind his ear.
'Oh Harry, don't cry' Draco whispered in his ear.
"Because 'boys don't cry'?" Harry asked between sobs.
'No, but because it's not making you feel any better' Draco explained. 'It's only making you feel worse.'
"I don't think I can go on" Harry said, trying to swallow the sobs. "My heart hurts so much that I think it's going to give up and stop beating."
Draco wrapped his arm around Harry and pressed his cheek against Harry's wet one. 'The pain, it'll become easier' he said softly. 'I promise.'
Harry didn't know if he wanted that to be true or not.
"I miss you."
Title of the chapter from Good Riddance (Time of your life) by Green Day
'Hope is a precious thing for a man of your age' from the TV-series Metrosexuality (if I remember correctly...)
A/n: Uno màs. Epilogue to go...
Thank you to everyone who reviewed, but a special thanks to those of you who have given their support. It's so easy to get caught in explaining your decisions to those reviewers who are finding it hard to understand... What I wanted to say is that I really appreciate it, and I'm not taking you guys for granted.
To fallen-angel-of-repression: Thanks for your words. Now and all the times you have reviewed before. They make me feel really good about what I'm trying to do.
To Moose on mars: Nice to hear from you again. I thought I had maybe lost you in all the fluffiness.