Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters related to 24.
Thanks so much again for all the reviews! I hope you all like this chapter…I'd definitely say it's a little more intense then the last couple. Jen reappears and it's not pretty…I hope the characters still seem believable…There's some flashback type things in this chapter as well so let me know if you like those…any feedback is appreciated. Thanks!
Chapter Four
Michelle sat down on the corner of the couch, unable to mask the feeling of tiredness that had overcome her once again. A thought crossed her mind that made her laugh out loud. Tony, who had been lingering in the hallway, dumping the sand out of their shoes walked into the living room.
"What's so funny?" he raised an eyebrow.
"I want to go to bed." Michelle giggled.
"You just woke up like 3 hours ago!"
"I know, I thought of that. I think maybe the reason is so that I can just fall asleep with you again. My mind's playing tricks on me…making me think I'm tired still…"
Tony laughed. "You're nuts…but I've gotta stop by Jen's in a few hours…while she's at work…so we just don't have time to sleep now…"
Michelle nodded in agreement. "I know, I know. There'll be time for that later I guess."
"Okay I'm completely covered in sand so I'm just gonna hop in the shower before lunch."
Michelle immediately jumped up off the couch. "I'm covered in sand too y'know…"
Tony frowned slightly, unsure what Michelle had in mind this time. This was so much easier when I knew exactly what she was thinking…
"Well then we have a problem…two people…one shower."
Michelle grinned. "That never used to be a problem…"
Tony cocked his head sideways and scratched the side of his face.
"That one's your call…"
Michelle took a deep breath, hoping to drink in some common sense as well as oxygen. Pace yourself…it's still only been a couple of hours…
"Maybe we should save it…" she ventured.
Tony looked disappointed, but did his best to hide it. He knew where she was coming from…and it made the most sense. He settled for giving her a small, awkward smile and turning to go towards the shower. Michelle heard the door down the hall close and let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding.
Who are you kidding here? What's the point in doing this to yourself? You almost lost him…Tony...Quit playing games.
Michelle felt the adrenaline course through her body almost instantly and ran down the hall, she pushed open the bathroom door without knocking (thankfully he hadn't locked it) and entered just in time to see Tony pull off his t-shirt. He turned to face Michelle looking more than slightly stunned. He went to ask her what had happened but Michelle didn't give him the chance. She pushed him hard against the tiled wall and began to kiss him feverously, running her hands all over his naked chest. Tony wasted no time acting surprised and immediately took control of the situation, twisting their bodies so that Michelle was now against the wall moaning continuously into his mouth. Michelle took Tony's hands and moved them to the waist of her pants, getting him started on removing them. They broke the kiss only for a heartbeat, just enough time to pull Michelle's t-shirt over her head. Michelle used a foot to tug at Tony's pants causing them to slowly slide down his hips. Tony felt for the nozzle and turned on the shower. In the time it took them to strip recklessly out of their underwear the water was hot. Michelle stepped inside first, with Tony practically on top of her. The water pressure and the steam heightened each sensation and they knew that nothing could make them stop now. Michelle felt Tony pressed against her and decided she didn't want to wait any longer. She positioned herself against the wall and slowly guided him into position. They kissed deeply and slowly and made love, not had sex, but actually made love for the first time in a year. When it was finally over Tony turned off the shower and carried Michelle to the bed, grabbing a towel as he did so. He fell on top of her, drained, and realized he couldn't stop smiling.
"I missed you so much." Michelle said seriously.
"I know how you feel." Tony kissed her lightly on the collarbone and they lay there, absorbing everything they could from the moment, not wanting to move.
Michelle snuggled up against Tony. "Okay, now I'm not so tired anymore."
Tony chuckled. "Good 'cause I hate to break it to you but I'm gonna have to go to Jen's soon.
"Can I come?"
"Do you want to?"
"I just don't want to leave you." she pleaded in a small voice.
"Okay."
By the time they had both dressed, it was almost 12:30. They decided on heading out for lunch on the way to Jen's, allocating the necessary time for her to get to work. Tony knew she had to be out of there by 1, 2 latest, or her boss would give her hell.
Tony and Michelle stopped at a small café for lunch, one that Michelle had been to many times as it was just around the corner from her apartment. She suddenly felt a little awkward as they walked inside, hand in hand. When Michelle had first come back to L.A. Bill had taken her there, in hopes of starting some sort of relationship. Nothing had happened of course, but it still felt strange. Her two lives were being forged into one all of a sudden; her new life where she was independent and career driven and emotionless, and her old life with Tony. She had to laugh at the irony, her life before Tony had been a lot like her new life, the only thing that seemed to change that was the man standing beside her right now. She couldn't put her finger on what it was…
They sat at a quiet table in the corner and Michelle felt no need to peruse the menu. She always ordered the same thing – Chicken Parmesan. Tony quickly settled on a pasta dish of some sort and they placed their orders with the waitress, a young woman who seemed to be eyeing them curiously.
"I can't believe what just happened…" Michelle spat out unintentionally.
Tony had to laugh at her bluntness. "I know, it's been so long…"
Michelle grew very quiet suddenly. It hasn't been long at all for Tony, he was living with someone remember?
Tony, somehow, knew exactly what she was thinking, or at least, it seemed that way.
"Michelle, it was never the same with anyone else…"
"I guess it's just hard to take in."
"Well, what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Were you um…with anyone after we got…y'know."
"No." she stated flatly.
Tony felt an insane mixture of relief and shock overcome him. He knew Michelle was entitled to some sort of relationship, if anything more so than he was…and he knew that she'd probably had many opportunities to move on in one way or another…In all honesty he hadn't expected that as an answer, but he couldn't have been more grateful.
Michelle took the silence to mean Tony was processing this. She knew it would seem odd. It'd been over six months, she'd been in Seattle while he was in prison, she wasn't exactly short on options. She'd dated a little, the odd set-up here or there from a friend every few weeks who was urging her to forget Tony. And then of course there was Bill…who stood as good a chance as anyone…But that in fact, was the problem. No one ever stood a chance. They weren't Tony. It was as simple as that. She knew she'd never move on, no matter how hopeless their relationship (or lack thereof) was, she couldn't imagine anyone else.
"Was it…only Jen?" Michelle treaded carefully, expecting the worse and hoping she wouldn't be upset by his response. For all she knew there had been many women after her.
"There was one other…" Tony winced. He hoped Michelle wouldn't take it personally; it had only been him missing her; that was all.
"Who?" she asked quietly.
"Does it really matter?" he reached across the table for her hand. Michelle didn't respond, but she didn't pull away either.
"No." she said barely audibly. Then the corners of her lips twitched. "That is, as long as it wasn't like…Carrie."
Tony laughed. "I can honestly tell you it wasn't Carrie."
Michelle smiled. "I'm sorry I brought it up. It shouldn't matter."
Tony smiled back. "When you left…I couldn't handle it…I guess I just needed something...And this person before Jen, it only happened once…"
"Okay. Can we just forget all of this now, everything that happened before? It's in the past."
"So we're forgetting the past now are we?"
"I guess so…"
"Well see I have a bit of a problem with that."
Michelle's mouth dropped slightly. "Wh…why?"
"Because Michelle…" he began seriously, "As horrible as the last year has been, everything before that was pretty much as close to perfect as you could expect…"
Michelle blushed and smiled and squeezed his hand a little more tightly.
They were silent for a few seconds. Michelle finally spoke.
"Do you remember the first time you said 'I love you'?"
It was Tony's turn to blush. Of course he remembered, it had been one of the memories that had got him through prison, he'd clung to it like nothing else. He nodded. And they both said nothing. Their minds had drifted back to that particular day:
They'd barely been going out for a month, but Tony had felt like he wanted to speak those three little words to Michelle the millisecond their first date ended. He knew that was a little premature though, considering he barely knew her. He resided to convincing himself that he simply loved what he knew about her. This ensured he didn't scare her off too soon, or scare himself for that matter. Tony didn't usually admit he was in love with someone…at least not without careful deliberation but with Michelle it felt so…natural. Like he was thinking the words every minute he was with her, like they just slipped out and started bouncing around inside his head the instant he saw her and it was a constant battle to keep them there…But, after Nina, having any woman in that much control of his emotions was scary, he trusted Michelle of course, but it hadn't been that long and Nina's betrayal was still fresh in his mind.
And then one drizzly night it had happened. Completely unintentionally, like Tony was afraid it would since he kept thinking these words. He'd slipped up. They both had had an extremely difficult day at work. There was really no saying who'd had it worse. They'd yelled at each other a couple of times, lost their temper over the stupidest things, and at the end of the day still managed to mumble out some small apology to each other (more out of exhaustion than lack of meaning) and head back to Michelle's apartment.
Once inside Michelle had, of course, made tea and settled herself on the couch. They'd decided to watch a movie before bed, nothing else really appealed to them at that point. Michelle had finally placed her empty mug on the coffee table and pulled a blanket around herself and Tony, snuggling up against him and kissing the side of his neck. Tony hadn't said anything at this. He'd simply watched her. The movie continued and neither of them made another sound until the end credits came onto the screen. Michelle had closed her eyes and pressed herself even closer to Tony sighing loudly. Tony had looked down at her smiling and for some reason when the words entered his brain this time he couldn't help but say it out loud. So he'd buried his face in Michelle's hair and just loud enough so that she could hear him;
"I love you."
He felt Michelle tense against him and suddenly realized what he'd done. He felt sick now. He'd screwed it up, for both of them. Michelle had opened her eyes and turned to stare at him. She looked nervous, uncomfortable.
"What?" she managed.
Tony thought about it. Did he really mean it? Did he really love her now? Was he sure? He looked at Michelle again and couldn't help but smile. Of course he meant it. It was Michelle. He sat up slightly, and closed his eyes as he kissed her tenderly on the forehead.
"I love you." he repeated.
Michelle gasped slightly and then prayed he hadn't noticed. She paused for a second, looking uncertain, but only for a second. Deep down she knew what she wanted to say, even if she was scared to repeat the words out loud.
"I love you too." She said breathlessly.
Tony eyed her. She had hesitated but somehow, he knew she still meant it. He leaned in and caught her lips with his. She smiled into the kiss and the tension of the moment seemed to ease instantaneously. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. She had meant it…more than ever.
They both snapped back to reality. Michelle looked up and saw Tony was starring at her with a stupid grin on his face. He stroked her hand with his thumb.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Just then the waitress reappeared with their food, fully aware that she was interrupting something, but not really caring. Tony dropped Michelle's hand and they both ate without another word to each other. As they left the restaurant Tony slipped his arm around Michelle's waist and pulled her in as closely as he dared, without hindering their ability to walk. Michelle smiled contently. They were making up for all the lost time.
They arrived at Jen's a little before 2. Her car was gone. Tony sighed with relief. Jen meeting Michelle today was not what he was ready for. Tony pulled out his key and unlocked the front door. The house was silent. It's funny how you can live somewhere for months and it still never feels like home…he mused. Michelle left his side and walked around the living room silently, wondering what to say.
"I'm just gonna go pack everything up." He told her.
Michelle nodded. "Need help?"
"Well I'm just gonna go get my clothes and stuff out of the…" he stopped, not wanting to finish his sentence. Michelle knew what he meant though; you'd have to be a complete idiot not to.
"Do you want me to start grabbing your things out here or…?"
"If you want, there really isn't much besides my clothes. Just have a look around the room; you'll know what's mine…"
"Alright."
Tony walked down the hallway to the bedroom and Michelle began to wander through the den, searching for anything that might be his. She started by scanning the collection of DVDs and found a few movies that could only be Tony's; they were his favourites. She left them on the coffee table and continued her search. There were hardly any books in the bookshelf, majority of it seemed to be magazines, but something caught her gaze. There was a tiny bit of gold shining from behind the shelf. Michelle knelt down and pulled out an old picture frame. It was coated in dust. She turned it over and gasped. It was a picture of her and Tony. An old picture, from before they got married. It was from when they spent the weekend in Santa Barbara, the first trip they'd taken together, on their first weekend off from work since the nuke disaster. Tony had on sunglasses and a ratty old t-shirt over his bathing suit. Michelle was sporting a light blue Ralph Lauren bikini. It'd cost her a fortune but she'd bought it just for that weekend. Wrapped around her waist was a matching sarong. The picture, Michelle remembered, had been taken at the worst possible second. The girl who took it had been kind of ditzy and apparently had no idea of the concept of "cheese". The wind had been blowing ferociously and Michelle was trying in vain to push her hair back from her face. She'd lost her footing and fallen onto Tony, the both of them laughing hysterically. Tony had turned to pull her in close and buried his face in her curls; his hundred-watt smile visibly peaking out from the side. Michelle was grinning from ear to ear. Tony had just whispered that she was adorable. It was at this second that the girl had taken the picture. Michelle smiled now.
"You hated that picture." Tony said as he emerged from the bedroom. Michelle jumped.
"I remember; I thought I looked like an idiot with this stupid smile on my face. I couldn't believe she took the picture then!"
"You wanted to tear it up…"
"And you wouldn't hear of it. You loved it. I told you to keep it but promise to never show it to me again…" Michelle paused seeing the heartfelt emotion on Tony's face. She could hear it in her own voice as she tried to keep the mood light. "It's not really that bad…now that I think about it."
"It's perfect."
Tony waited a few seconds then spoke. "I just need to grab a couple of bags…" he explained motioning towards the cupboard.
"Is there anything else in here I should be getting?"
Tony scanned the room. "Not really. She can keep the computer I guess. Maybe dig out some of the software though, she won't need most of it, I can load it when I get a new one. It should be just in that cupboard there. Then if you just want to find my mug in the kitchen."
Michelle laughed. "I think we need to get you a new mug."
"Never!" He said in mock horror.
Tony exited the room and Michelle began to fish out the computer software. She was just about to place it on the coffee table when she heard keys turn in the door. Michelle froze; silently praying Tony would walk into the room in time…too late…the front door was opening.
"Hey Tony?" Jen called without really looking around. "You in here?" she turned towards the living room and, just like Michelle, froze.
Michelle took control of the situation, hoping they could at least get past the awkwardness.
"Hi." She said formally. "You must be Jen." She crossed the room quickly extending a hand. "I'm…"
"I know." Jen snapped, scrutinizing Michelle as she did so. Damn it, she's not even ugly. This made Jen hate her even more.
Michelle bit her lower lip. This couldn't be going worse.
Jen eyed Michelle wearily. "Tony didn't mention he was bringing you." You could almost taste the bitterness in her voice.
Michelle wanted to retaliate, but remembered that Jen had every reason to hate her right now, after all, if the situation was reversed, she'd be pretty pissed off too.
"I offered to help." She said simply.
Where the hell is Tony? Did he not hear Jen come in?
"I'm sorry; we just wanted to get everything done while you were out…like you asked…"
"So you were with him when he was on the phone to me?" Jen's eyes flashed.
There was no point in denying it; "Yeah, we were um…getting ready to – "
" – Well." Jen cut her off. "I guess you're a lot harder to get over than I am."
"I'm sorry Jen."
"Don't feel sorry for me Michelle." Jen swallowed hard, she would not cry in front of this woman, she would not give her the satisfaction of seeing how much this was hurting her.
It was then that they heard Tony walking down the hall.
"Michelle you almost ready to…" his eyes met Jen's and Michelle spun around.
"Jen." He said quietly. "I didn't hear you come in."
"As usual, you were probably thinking about something else." She said vindictively.
"I thought you had work?" he ignored her last comment.
"I forgot my coat. I'll be out of your way in a minute."
Tony didn't know what to do. Jen was upset, anyone could see that. He felt like he should comfort her, somehow, but then he remembered Michelle. He wondered what she would say if he did. Their eyes locked as Jen pushed past him. He knew what to do.
Jen made it to the bedroom in the nick of time, the tears came without warning. Seeing Tony had only made it harder, now it wasn't about being bitter, it was about realizing what she was going to lose to the woman in the next room, who didn't even really deserve him.
She doesn't deserve a second chance after what she did to him. Jen told herself through the tears.
She jumped when she heard the door close behind her. It was Tony. The expression on his face made her feel a thousand times worse.
"Don't look at me like that." She said quietly.
"I'm sorry Jen but it's …"
"It's Michelle." They both said in unison, Tony with nothing but adoration in his voice, Jen with nothing but hostility.
"She left you Tony!" Jen screamed. "How can you do this to yourself? It was so easy for her to pick up and leave you before. How can you even think about giving her another chance? Just so she can hurt you like that again?"
"Jen it's – "
"You spend a couple of days with her and suddenly it's like nothing happened. Like she didn't walk out on you when things got tough, like she didn't abandon you after you saved her life! You saved her life Tony! Look how she repaid you! I just…" Jen collapsed on the bed and put her head in her hands. Tony heard a muffled sob and slowly walked over to her, realizing this was probably the most caring he'd been towards Jen in the whole time they were together.
"C'mon Jen." He said as he knelt down. "It's gonna be okay. I never treated you properly, I ignored you, I never did one nice thing for you…I didn't even remember your birthday…"
Jen sniffled and looked up. Their faces were inches apart and for once, Jen looked Tony in the eye, really looked him in the eye and in a split second she understood. This is what she does to him. He's bitter, angry, depressed for months and after two days with her he's a completely different person.
She didn't want to lose him now though, not when he was finally making an effort, starting to care. The thought of this made her cry even harder. Tony grabbed her forearm and pulled him towards her, wrapping her in his warm embrace.
"You deserve so much better." He whispered.
"I don't want better, I want you." she cried.
Tony pulled back and wiped her eyes gently.
"Why are you like this all of a sudden?"
"I don't know." She felt sick; she was just another stupid loser crying over a guy. She didn't know why he suddenly mattered so much to her…
"Jen, listen to me." Tony said firmly. "You're amazing, and I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you did for me, but you really do deserve better, and not just a few minutes of me not being a complete asshole, but someone who would do anything for you. I'm just not right…"
She swallowed. "This is pathetic." Her voice went cold and harsh as she saw the situation as an outsider again. She pushed Tony away from her and, after grabbing her jacket, stormed out of the room. As she opened the door she turned back and said with nothing but pure hate in her voice:
"You could do so much better than her."
And with that Jen walked into the living room and with one final, detestable glance at Michelle tore out of the house, slamming the door behind her.
Tony heard the front door close and walked, defeated, back into the living room. Michelle looked up, her face had gone pale.
"Did you…" Tony began.
"Thin walls," she explained.
"I wouldn't have let you come if I'd…"
"I know."
"Michelle, don't listen to her, we both know that's not what happened."
Michelle nodded but still looked uneasy.
"Come here." He crossed the room. Michelle allowed Tony to draw her in tightly and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Are you okay?" she asked him quietly.
He smothered his face with her curls and smiled. "Never better."