Warning: unneccessary longness in this chapter, lol. You've been warned...(Joking!)

Between Heaven and Hell

Chapter 15: Till Death Do We Part

Seifer's laughter grew higher and finally, I just couldn't take it any longer; I knew for a fact that if he continued, I was most likely to join him. Before that would ever happen, I looked down at Rinoa and saw she had drifted into her own world, staring off into the walls of this vessel with her face against my chest. "Excuse me Rinoa." I said to her while easing from our embrace. I stood from the floor quickly and trotted toward Seifer who had still been laughing, but I punched him once while yelling, "Will you shut the hell up!"

I glared at him and he lowered his head, smiling like a million bucks… "I…I deserved that…"

Of course he deserved that damn punch! Whose lovely idea was it that we should escape by vessel! Seifer's! Whose fault is it that we're headed into a death trap, Seifer's! "Like hell you did!"

He chuckled, "I guess it's uh…too late for an apology, right?"

"An apology!" Why is he laughing again? There isn't anything funny about what's happening to us. "Do you really think we need to hear it?"

"Well, before we die, I just wanna—"

"Seifer! Shut up!" Rinoa yelled, and when I looked back, I saw her holding her face with her hands. "This isn't the end just yet!"

"…Rinoa sweetheart, we're sealed in and we can't change the control functions. Our fate is set, so all we'll do now is kick back and enjoy the last moments of our lives together…"

"You're chained to a wall, does that sound like enjoyment to you?" She muffled against her hands. Chained to a wall? Rinoa, this is Seifer we're talking about, the same guy that said the forest was homey. With him, who knows what distinguishable difference there is between comfort and torture?

"Why? Are you concerned about me?" He asked Rinoa, a little playfulness arising in his tone. I eyed him suspiciously as she stood from the ground and walked toward us now.

"…Not really, but I do feel like I should thank you." Thank him? For what, giving us a one-way ticket to publicized executions? Unless Esthar has suppressed all information about our escape, the media will definitely await our arrival. She sighed and continued, "I mean some of us did get out of the forest and off of the continent alive… That's farther than any convict as ever gotten before, and because of that, I'm grateful."

To my surprise, Seifer was silent. He had stared down into the cracks of the floor and smiled. Rinoa looked at me quizzically, I guess she had expected him to make some kind of cheesy remark too. Seifer looked over at me and then to Rinoa as he muttered, "But I failed you…"

"…Seifer?" Rinoa asked quietly.

"Agh…!" Zell grimaced from his corner of the vessel near the exit, and I turned to look at him.

"Zell? You okay?" I wanted to slap myself for asking a question like that. Of course he wasn't okay… I walked to Zell and knelt down beside him. His shorts were bloody and shredded because of the T-Rexaurs' vicious bite. There were two sets of bite marks across each of his legs. On his thighs and knees, teeth impressions had punctured his skin. I think if it were a bigger T-Rexaur, the bite would be worse than it is now. The wound might have stretched from his thighs to the back of his calves. I sighed when I realized how much pain he must have been going through. He's doing much worse than Fujin was during her last few hours… Zell closed his eyes again and bit his lower lip violently.

"Zell!" Rinoa said as she ran over and squatted beside him too. She touched his forehead and pulled her hand back quickly, as if it had injured her just to feel, "He's running a fever."

"I-I'm fine…" He winced, "I'll be okay…"

…He's saying that now, but it really doesn't look like he'll improve. Zell…really has a strong heart.

"Squall, I have an idea, can you help me?" Rinoa asked while moving to Zell's shirt.

"Sure."

"Zell I hope you don't mind, but I'm gonna have Squall tear your shirt, okay?" As if he'd really mind that at a time like this. Zell reluctantly nodded his head, more worried about his pain than us, and sat up for Rinoa. She eased off the shirt, leaving behind the t-shirt underneath, from his arms and back and then handed it to me asking, "Can you rip this shirt in two?"

I nodded my head and grabbed the shirt carefully turning it to the end where it would most likely tear easily. I pulled two ends of the shirt as hard as I could until I heard a slick ripping sound coming from the clothing in my hands. It hadn't torn perfectly, but it was enough to do whatever Rinoa had in mind, I suppose; she looked impressed and more than glad about the ripped shirt. She smiled and took it from me quickly, "Thank you!"

"No problem."

Rinoa went down and quickly wrapped one torn piece around Zell's left thigh first, and he winced at it. She tied it not so tightly, but tight enough to stop the bleeding. After securing that bandage, she took the other and did the same. She was only able to cover half of his wounds; she tied the shirt around his damaged thighs because they were slightly worse than his knees. His response wasn't as bad as the first bandage, but it still hadn't subsided completely. …I'm glad Rinoa is trying her best to keep Zell alive.

As soon as she was satisfied with his bandages and wrappings, Rinoa sat back and sighed in relief. "There, that should be good enough!" She smiled confidently, obviously hiding her own pain, and Zell made a weak smile that quickly melted into a frown. He turned his face away from us slowly in growing pain. Rinoa whispered, "Zell…please stay strong."

She touched his shoulder and stood from beside him. I watched her as she turned away and stretched her arms out. I'm probably imagining it, but Rinoa has a smile on her face. I wonder what's going through her mind…she's suddenly cheered up.

As Zell sat in the corner, purposely relying on the two walls that met one another to support his weight, I had taken the wall beside him where the doors open. There's not much space in the vessel, but the floor somehow feels more comfortable than those seats…

I pushed my head back against the steel wall with a sigh and closed my eyes, finally realizing that there was nowhere else to go. All this time I had been playing with death, but now that it would actually happen, I didn't want it to… Who knows what will happen when this vessel docks? We could be arrested or shot even… My heart's pounding just thinking about it. …I had considered dying before, but now that it's near…I…I don't want to die.

There's so much in my insignificant life that hasn't been done yet, so much I wanted to see, to do, and to speak… I wanted everything, but during the times when I thought I had it all, I realize now what I had was nothing. Sure, my family was there, but I practically pushed them out of my life as soon as I got out of the house. Yeah, I lied to myself before… When I first rode this vessel, I made myself believe that I came from a family that had always loved and cherished me, and I the same…but the truth is, I always wanted to escape, to be free of my life. And I wished…like hell did I wish…for something better everyday.

That's why fifty percent of my life was spent sitting on the couch, whether it had been at my apartment or even at my parent's house…didn't matter, I'd sit on the sofa and watch TV; watching other people's lives for my own pleasure. Comparing my life to theirs, and thinking 'I guess it could be worse for me…'

I admit now, I was unhappy…I always had been… Just why else would I take an interest in my dad's crazy tales of his life, even when I knew most of it was made up or exaggerated just to grab my and Ellone's attention? I took his stories and made them into my own, wishing that someday I could be exactly the same. But almost anyone can say that trying to live up to someone else' accomplishments is a down right fool's recipe for disaster. I guess…it took me a long time to realize it's true.

So there I was, stuck with a job I hated…but played a phony charade, which stressed that my life was just great for me. …In reality, I was in a relationship with a friend that shouldn't have been personal at all, more like platonic, and I had cheated myself from none other than me… I guess I've never met Squall Loire before, haven't I? Setting those phony goals I just knew I couldn't live up to… Ridiculous…

Until that day Selphie…betrayed me, I hadn't a clue as to why I even existed… Foolish of me to say, but I haven't a clue why I'm still alive now. Fate perhaps?

I shrugged my shoulders, as if answering my own question, and opened my eyes, slightly embarrassed about being deep in thought and talking to myself. Not wanting to see if anyone had paid attention to my motions, I looked at the ceiling of the vessel…something I hadn't done before…something I wish I had paid close attention too. "What is that…?" I questioned, staring into a part of the ceiling, which was noticeably higher than the rest. It seemed to take on a circular crease of an opening or what have you. I pushed myself from the floor and walked underneath the circular line in the ceiling.

"Squall?" Rinoa asked me while joining me underneath the shape.

"Do you see that? …It looks like some kind of entry point, or maybe even an exit."

"…Yeah. I wonder if—"

"If we can reach it…?"

"Yeah."

"Let's see…" I reached my arms as high as I could and was able to touch the ceiling with my fingertips, nothing more. "…Ahh…too high."

"Hmm…give me a boost." I nodded and grabbed her waist, then lifted her from the ground. When I looked up, I saw Rinoa tracing the loop with her fingers and digging into the crack, searching for some type of hidden valve maybe?

"There's something here, I can feel the little piece of metal against my finger. All I have to do is push it." She said slowly, pushing her finger inside. "…But I've tried it…and…it's not working." She dug her finger into the loop once more but groaned, "It's not working!"

I lowered her to the ground slowly and stood up straight, rubbing the back of my neck, "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am, I surely wouldn't give up after only two times of trying!" She spoke seriously, which caused a smile to form on my lips.

I continued to smirk, "I know."

"Oh yeah! I know what will do the trick." Rinoa walked over to a seat where she had placed her backpack and grabbed it up. She removed her dagger, the only dagger than hadn't been used by any of us and smiled. "Please lift me one more time, and I promise this will be the last time."

"With pleasure." I said, smirking a bit before taking her by the waist again. When she was in the air, she located the valve and inserted the dagger underneath. After it made a few clicking sounds, there was a snap from the creased loop and a clank from inside the vessel as well. Finally, the top loosened and we both froze, whether it was our shock or panic that caused us to freeze is undistinguishable…but we became anxious to witness the outcome. I didn't even need to tell Rinoa to push open the door, seeing that it was indeed an exit. She had glanced at me.

Rinoa placed both of her hands on the smooth bottom of the door and pushed upward. She pushed the dagger against the door to avoid dropping it on me, and the door easily went up, displaying the darkness of the night sky and the illumination of the stars…so bright, brighter than I ever imagined. "…Would you look at that?" Rinoa whispered underneath her breath without drawing her eyes to me, and I was speechless. Seeing her looking up at the stars, I was lost in her image…

"Ouch…" Seifer's monotonous voice sounded, and we both retracted our eyes from the heavens to face him. I lowered Rinoa to the floor, and we saw Seifer's chains had allowed him to slide down against the wall now. Maybe this door and those chains created some type of reaction to one another, most likely pressure conflictions. The door just happened to keep the chains in tact and tight around the convict's wrist and ankles…? Perhaps… …Although the cuffs hadn't unlocked, he could move his arms a bit more than before. "What are you two up to now?"

Rinoa faced me and took a deep breath. I bet she's wondering if we should tell him or not. Why would he be thrilled about there being an exit when he's chained to a wall? Even I realize that it's unfair to tell him about an exit, but as she looked at me with those curious eyes, I nodded to her indicating we should tell him. Regardless if he's thrilled or just…himself, we should allow him to know that we've found something on this piece of crap worth tempering with. In an instant, Rinoa turned back to Seifer and spoke softly, "…Seifer, did you know there was a door up there?"

He looked at Rinoa and smirked, "…Now, I'm not sure how I can answer that question." I'm thinking…had his hands been free, he'd rub his chin like some character out of a storybook. "…I was unsure if the newer models even had an emergency exit. Come to think of it, the emergency exits were never mentioned. Odine thrived at his newest accomplishments and upgrades, whereas he forgot to mention the basics…poor guy. But then again, I guess he didn't want people to know that there actually isn't anything new about this vessel…just a few minor changes, repairs, and a new paint job, and voila, you've got yourself a not-so-brand-new vessel. That's not bad at all." He laughed, "Esthar isn't so high and mighty now, is it? Even they tend to recycle the old and worn, those cheap bastards…"

I had to laugh at his comments, and so had Rinoa. Even though he's complexity in the flesh, Seifer tends to make an awful lot of sense nowadays doesn't he? …And I was right about him and everyone else who had been trapped there in the forest, extremely blunt and straight to the point.

Suddenly a chill rushed in from the roof of the opened door, and Rinoa shivered while rubbing her arms quickly. "Maybe I should shut it?"

"Can you reach it?" She asked, walking over to me once again.

"…Probably not…" She smiled and held up her arms, allowing me to grab her waist once more, and lift her in the air like some dancer would do his ballerina…and she smiled, probably thinking the same thought and playing along with me.

"You guys are giving me the creeps…" Seifer grumbled from far back in the vessel and I sighed. I had forgotten he was even there in the same place as us for a mere second…

Rinoa had a little trouble closing the door, but finally was able to close it by grabbing an outer edge and letting it slam shut on its own. Although there was no handle on the inside, she had allowed the door to shut only halfway, giving us easy access to and fro. When she had finished, I put her back down onto the safety of the vessel's floor, and she smirked at Seifer, "Just because you're grumpy and stuck in one place doesn't mean we have to act confined too."

He snorted, "Very funny, Rinoa…remind me to laugh."

She giggled, "I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself."

I laughed to myself and walked to the map on the wall beside where Seifer was now sitting. On the map, the blinking green dot indicated where we were, and I saw a red dot as well…most likely where they are: On land…near a flat plain and a docking harbor, "…How convenient."

"What is?" Both Seifer and Rinoa asked in unison.

"…I'm just looking at the map, that's all."

"That map only brings about bad things, it's best if you don't pay any attention to it. Besides, in about twenty minutes, our dot will progress to the next space closer to Esthar; Lucky us."

"…I see." I continued to study the map before me. It seemed to be painted on the wall on some sort of platform beneath. It's equipped with a transmitter, so Esthar can target us as well.

According to the map, Esthar is actually just south of where we are, and the red dot occupies the first docking point accessible to us, a docking point that is coming up quickly… It's near the space museum, Lunar Gate, so there's no doubt in my mind that the media will definitely know what's going on. There isn't anything else around there but…land…. "?" Wait a minute… I looked farther from Lunar Gate, staring at the land. Unlike the other areas that had been marked up by particular continents and towns, this area had nothing in sight. I'm sure if we swam, we could reach it…it's a terribly long distance, but it's…worth a try, right? Better than being shot…or arrested again. I touched the spot on the map, and Rinoa seemed to notice the interest I took in this area.

She walked beside me and curiously stepped closer to the map as I moved my hand, "Any ideas?"

"…As a matter of fact, yes." It's only an idea, so there aren't any guarantees… I looked at Zell, who had opened his eyes fully and listened in to us as we stood near the map. I'm not sure if he's aware of what's happening, but its good to see he's still with us. "…We have but one shot at an escape now… There's a point just a little after our destination that's bothering me. I know if we tried, we could swim it-"

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" Seifer shouted with a laugh. "Are you blind? Have you seen our party? We've got four hungry people total, one is crippled, another is chained, one is finally accepting her place, and then there's you, the dimwit. Why would you even suggest such thing?"

Yes, I know it was stupid, but it was just an idea, nothing further. "I didn't say we had to actually swim, and besides, I'm a strong swimmer, so I'd carry Zell on my back; as far as you, you're on your own."

"You'd leave me here?"

"In a flash…"

He moved his leg to kick me, but I stepped back quickly, "You gutless pig-"

"Well, I was going to say that we could probably work a little wonder with that powder, but—"

"Forget about me, I'll only slow you down." Zell said quietly, and we all turned to face him. Rinoa walked to Zell and squatted before him.

"Zell? There's no way we're leaving you here." She said to him.

"No…you have to… I'll never survive out there." He looked at Rinoa and smiled, "Besides, that's saltwater, do you know how much it will hurt my wounds?"

Rinoa sighed and looked at the floor. Zell has a point about the saltwater and all, but it's still unfair to him. She looked up at me and bit her lower lip, "Squall?"

…Don't make me choose, please don't. I lowered my head slowly and closed my eyes, "…Zell, you're gonna have to manhandle that water then, 'cause you're going."

"No. I want to stay here, okay?" He took a deep breath, "I don't want you guys to get caught behind in this mess because of me. And anyway, your chances of survival will cut down in many halves because of me, so just go without me."

"Zell!" Rinoa yelled and Zell shot back, "GO Dammit! Don't make me repeat myself! Go now and don't look back!" When I opened my eyes, I saw that Rinoa's were watering as she continued to squat before him.

Zell moved his right leg, and followed with his left…but the movement ceased and he writhe in agony on the ground.

"…Dammit little man, why'd you come up with this stupid plan?" I faced Seifer as he slowly picked himself from the floor and calmed his rampant voice, "If the kid's staying here…then I guess…"

"Seifer…?" Rinoa whispered.

"I'm staying too, alright? Happy!" He glared at me. How many times have I pictured myself beating the living crap out of him, or even murdering him when I was in anger just for giving me that look? But…I never actually meant it all, and I'm sure most people think that way when they became fed up because of someone else's remarks… Seifer's really willing to stay behind…or is it because of he's stuck to the wall? …And what the hell? Wasn't it a simple idea, as I said before, so why is he trying to make it seem like I'm deliberately trying to leave him behind?

I returned his glare and muttered, "This is not what I wanted."

"That's bull, and we both know it! So just get the hell out of here and take Rinoa with you, unless you want to forget about her too-"

Without any hesitation, I punched him in his stomach and he leaned over coughing, choking for air. I scolded, "How dare you! I could never forget about Rinoa! I was there for her when she needed me and I still am! But what did you do! I wasn't the one who restrained her in the forest, who lied to her, cheated her, and withheld valuable information from her! Unlike you, I can't just disregard her life and live my own as if I have no worries. Only a self-centered bastard like you can do that, and you did…"

He spat out blood from his mouth and looked up at me with his eyes only, "Honestly…if she had died in that cavern and you survived, you would've wished that I killed you swiftly and painlessly… You're right; you're not me and that's for sure. I wouldn't have let her go out in search of that ridiculous cave in the first place! …But I was glad to see that you brought her back safely. That's why I pushed you so hard before; I tried to break you away from her because…I didn't want her to become bonded with you."

He softened his tone and continued, "Until you spoke of Odine, I wanted nothing to do with you. You see…Odine's the key here…he was my signal to move. After hearing about his death from you, I knew I had to put the plan into motion and also I knew Rinoa wouldn't want to leave your side…but you took off with Rinoa and my stash of goods before I could do anything further." He hadn't smirked, but spoke lucidly while rising from the floor and glaring me, " Rinoa can't be hurt; do you understand me? You'd best have meant what you said a little while ago! And you better get Rinoa out of this mess too, so help you god if I die in this vessel, my soul with haunt you for the rest of your goddamn life!"

…Silence, there was total silence as we glared at one another still, and somewhere behind us stood a lost Rinoa. She had been quiet since we exchanged words… I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded to him slowly while speaking clearly as well, "I meant every last word."

"Good…it looks like we finally agree on something."

I took a deep breath and stepped away from him without removing my eyes from his. Rinoa had appeared beside us, and we both looked at her. She whispered, "Seifer."

"Rinoa, nothing mushy okay? Just prepare to get out of here, and leave before we dock that way we won't all die together."

She forced a smile from her frown while muttering, "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He said as she kissed his cheek and turned away from him, walking toward Zell. I looked at her as she walked away and I heard Seifer let out a sigh, "Take care of her, Squall…" I faced him slowly, unsure of what I had just heard. For the first time, he hadn't insulted me…

"I will." He mentioned Odine's name being some sort of signal…what did he mean by that? The thought quickly left my mind as I saw Rinoa smile with Zell once again, and I relaxed…

When the Vessel finally made some progress and was closer to Esthar, I had stood in one place and stared at the map. After releasing a heavy sigh, Seifer growled, "What the hell are you waiting for? Get a move on!"

I smirked and nodded my head to him, then turned to face Rinoa as she was standing underneath the exit. I walked to her slowly, every step felt like I would fall straight through the floor of the vessel.

Rinoa grabbed her backpack from the floor and sighed, "I'm going to leave this with you two. The powders inside are useless when wet, so…"

"We'll put them to good use, won't we Zell?"

"…Huh?" Zell questioned, looking back and forth from Seifer to us.

Seifer chuckled and motioned his head to Zell, "Give them to the kid and get out of here. We're fine."

"Seifer—" Rinoa was about to protest but Seifer cut her off.

"We're Fine!"

After another second of silent goodbyes, I lifted Rinoa to the exit so she could push open the door, and then she climbed up. I jumped up to reach the top and was able to pull myself up with the help of Rinoa tugging on my arms and shirt. When I managed to pull my legs up and settle on the top of the vessel, I sat back and sighed in relief, "…Geez, I expended most of my energy getting up here." Rinoa smiled and closed the door, assuring the stragglers wouldn't freeze to death.

It was still dark out, and we could hardly see anything. Even though we were far from shore, I was confident in my swimming. I knew even if we became exhausted, the sea would carry us until we could swim some more. I stood at the edge of the vessel and Rinoa grabbed my arm, "…Squall—"

"I don't want to hear it Rinoa, we're getting there no matter what."

She slid her hand down my arm and entwined her fingers into mine, "I was going to say…I trust you."

I smiled, looking down sheepishly. Rinoa giggled and rested her forehead against my arm with a soft sigh, "…Let's just end this."

I took a deep breath and nodded my head slowly, "Yeah…" By the way she spoke it, it sounded like she meant ending our lives. For a split second, I was frightened, but when she squeezed my hand in hers, I had calmed down. She's with me…and no matter what happens, we're in this together. For the first time, our fate is in our own hands, and not by those stupid T-Rexaurs. Either we'll free ourselves from this misery, or we die trying.

With those thoughts on my mind, I faced Rinoa and kissed her forehead softly, muttering, "Stay close to me."

"I will." She said, holding on to my shoulders in the night's winds.

"Let's go…" I whispered and pulled away from Rinoa, walking to the ledge and looking down into the dark waters. I could tell the vessel had been moving at an incredible speed by the gushing sprouts from beside its body. I sighed and looked back at Rinoa, changing my frown into a smile, "We'll have to jump out far to avoid being sucked in by the ship's motor and tail blades."

Rinoa joined me on the ledge and observed it for herself, "I see what you mean." She looked up at the sky and took her hair down from a ponytail, redoing it to avoid getting hair in her face as she swam, I guess. When she was done, she looked at me, "Ready?"

I nodded, "Ready when you are."

"Great, here we go." She yelled and jumped, and I followed a second behind her jump.

As my body broke through the surface, I felt like I had been bitten by hundreds of T-Rexaurs. It was like penetrative jaws clinging to every piece of flesh and skin on my body. My lungs had struggled as my chest seemed to have caved in, and when I tried to move, it was like my feet had been cemented to the ground with anvils attached; however, I managed to fight my way to the very top and burst through to the surface, desperately gasping for air.

After taking a few breaths, I looked around myself for Rinoa, and saw that she had just gotten up as well. Good, she survived the horrible welcoming embrace from the ocean. "Rinoa!"

"Oh my god, Squall! This is crazy!"

"Rinoa don't panic, please don't. Just swim, I want you to follow my voice and swim!"

"Squall, I…I can't feel anything!"

"Rin, please! Don't focus on that, let's go! C'mon, there's no turning back now!"

"A…alright! I'm right behind you!" She said, forcing herself to swim her best.

I forced myself to continue swimming, despite the unpleasantly cold water and within a matter of minutes or seconds, I was becoming tired. Soon, I realized Rinoa wasn't right behind me as she claimed she would be. She was struggling in the water, and I knew I couldn't leave her there. So I turned back and swam underneath her, picking her up on my back, and tried to push onward. She was shivering, and I could swear her face had turned blue.

"Squall…" She whispered to me.

"Hold on to me… We're almost there…"

---Seifer's Epitome---

"Stop that, it's annoying." I said to the kid as he's been tapping his hand against the floor for sometime now, it's really bothering me.

"Oh…uh…sorry." He stopped immediately, finally… I looked at the map and saw that our precious green dot was surfacing the dock areas of Esthar, just lovely.

"Zell, check in that bag for a pack of cigarettes."

"Sure." I watched him tug at the bag's pull string and dig inside. Thank god he's found the pack of cigarettes Rinoa stole from me. "There aren't but three left in here."

"All I need is one. Go ahead and throw the whole pack here, would ya?"

"But they might fall out."

"Throw 'em here!" I ordered, and he quickly tossed the pack over to me, which fell gracefully into my lap. Great, I've got the cigarettes, but with chained hands how can I grab them; I'm gonna have to become some type of acrobat to pull this off. I looked at the packet as it was in my lap, and I boosted myself from the floor. With a quick dip of my torso, I cause the pack to slide toward me and I used chin to stop it from falling. Luckily, the guy had closed it for me to ensure none of my smokes would fall out.

I carefully opened the pack with my right hand while keeping my body in that position and allowed a cigarette to slide into my mouth. After carefully securing it in my mouth, I lowered my body onto the floor and sighed, "Now, throw me the lighter."

"I…I don't see a lighter."

"Rinoa put it back into the bag when we first got onboard—"

"Oh I see it, it was hiding behind all these lumps of rubbish. That's all."

"Would you just throw it to me?"

"Alright…" He carefully tossed it toward my hand and I caught it.

"Oh yes!" I started a fire and pulled my hand as close to my face as possible, and with enough success, the cigarette was lit. I took a puff and allowed it to rush through my body, easing my nerves for a mere eternity… When I was lost in its ecstasy, Zell cleared his throat and looked at me as if asking me to pass it to him, "You don't need this…" He sighed and looked at the floor, staring at his injured legs. "I tell you what, if you can stand up and walk about half way over here, I'll let you take the cigarette."

"…That's impossible. I can't even get up if I lay myself down on the floor."

"Well too bad for you, but more for me."

"You're right, I don't need that thing anyway."

"You're only saying that so I can pity you."

"No I'm not…I…I'm just—"

"Afraid?"

"…Yeah."

"We're almost there, in fact, I'll give it another five minutes…" He wants to calm his nerves too…what a shame.

"Five minutes?"

"That's right." I smiled and sat back against the wall, keeping the cigarette at the corner of my mouth. I leaned toward my hand and took it from my mouth, but I heard Zell moving his legs with a moan in pain.

Little by little, he had eased himself from the floor and pushed against his back, allowing his body to rise so his feet could take the weight once more. I guess that T-Rexaur wound of his wasn't too bad, seeing that his legs haven't broken to pieces upon standing on his own.

Zell hadn't stood all the way, but he leaned against the wall that was behind him, and I watched him with a great interest; was he standing just to prove himself wrong or did he actually want my cigarette? Just as he was about to push himself from the wall's care completely, the vessel shifted, and it felt as if the pace or the ship's speed had quickened. When I looked at the dot, I saw that we were right in front of Esthar's docking port. I sighed and looked at Zell as he held his hold on the wall for support.

"Zell…get the bag and get over here."

"But, I can hardly stand."

"Just throw them to me then." And Zell struggled against the wall while holding on as he limped toward the bag on the floor. Without bending his legs, he reached down and scooped up the bag, then threw it to me in one go. "…You know what, bad idea, you get the bag and do as I say."

"What!"

"Do as I say!"

"tch, fine!" Once again, Zell limped toward me as I sat on the floor, smirking in amusement. Yeah, even though I really need his help, it still funny to take advantage of the situation. Seriously, this has got to be the saddest thing known to all mankind. When Zell practically guided himself to me using the wall, he reached for the bag and the lighter that were on the floor, and took them into his hands. Now, resting his back against the wall, he looked at me, no…he glared at me. "Now what?"

I laughed again, but quickly shut myself up, "Look into the bag and find a pouch with some white powder inside." He dug inside and looked through, after another minute or so, he'd found the correct pouch. "Got it?"

"Yeah."

"Good, now find another with orange powder."

"…Orange?" He questioned, looking into the bag once more. "There's two others, but they both have a little powder left."

"Well then mix them together and throw that pouch to me, meanwhile, you keep the pouch with the white powder, okay?"

"…Alright." As he began to mix the two bags, I realized this was the end of the line for me. Zell didn't understand it, but I had gotten him to use his legs once again… He's probably forgotten about the pain now because his mind's focused elsewhere. I smiled, applauding my little success quietly.

It's probably one of the only good things I've ever done in my entire life. Back then, I was a piece of work…I was the best in my business, and I was the sliest scum in the entire city, but as they say, good things must come to an end. I was a criminal mastermind; I knew the game…every aspect of it. And one thing that every master criminal knows is that someday, he'll get caught.

I grinned, remembering my own little motto, how it comforted me throughout my days. I knew that if I should ever fall, I'd go down doing something big, something important.

"It's done." Zell said, showing me the mixed powder pouch in his hands. I smiled and motioned my head to the other bag in his hands.

"Light up the white powdered pouch and place the other one in front of me."

"What? Isn't this a bomb?"

"Don't worry, Rinoa told me it's only a smoke bomb."

"Oh…okay…"

"So go ahead and light it."

"Um, alright." He started a flame and dropped the lighter into the bag, then hurriedly tossed it across the room. There was a minor explosion, if one counts a bursting bag and smoke everywhere as something dangerously explosive...

Before the smoke emerged, I pointed to the other pouch he still had in his hands. "Zell, open it up and give it to me." After a few minutes, the entire vessel was smoky, and Zell covered his nose with his shirt. Suddenly, the vessel shifted, and it seemed as if we came to a complete stop, probably bumping the docking harbor due to the lack of an actual pilot. Zell tried to give me the bag, but it slipped from his hands and wasted on the floor right in front of me as he began coughing from the increasing smoke cloud. "What are you doing!" I questioned him, but he hadn't looked at me.

Some cleared the air as the front door spread open. Had Zell still been sitting in that corner, he would've fallen out because he had been sitting so close to the edge. …So I've done my good deed, eh? I looked at Zell, who was still coughing and looking right back at me now, "Zell, get out of here…"

"What!"

"The door's open, there are people out there, they'll take care of you! Just get out of here!" I yelled, standing to my feet. I placed the cigarette back into my mouth and watched Zell take one look at me, then head out into the light.

"Move in!" The voice from far away called out from the radiant light of outside; so the sun had risen? I couldn't tell the difference between night and day for being inside this vessel so long…

As Zell limped out and disappeared into the cloud of smoke, I smiled and took one last puff of my cigarette.

Now that I think about it…I'm the only one that isn't running away, that hadn't purposely set out to escape; the only lucky bastard that isn't afraid to die.

I spat the cigarette from my mouth, and it landed directly on the scattered mixed powders. I…closed my eyes-

BOOOM!

----The Night We Died---

"Hold on to me Rinoa… We're almost there…"

She took a quick breath and wrapped her arms around my neck. I'm well aware that it's dangerous to have her on my back, but there's no way I'm leaving her behind. Even so, she could still slip away even if she is in my care. The only way she won't freeze to death is if she were talking; so at that moment, I gathered my breath to force myself to speak to her. "Rinoa, what did you like to do?"

"Huh? Squall?"

"Before everything…before you worked with your father. What did you enjoy the most?" I asked, mostly treading the water before trying to stroke again.

"I…used to imagine my house was…a mansion when I was a little girl." She whispered into my ear, as I had fought against waves of water trying to keep her above the surface.

"Is that so?"

She struggled to continue speaking, "…Yeah. Not some palace like a princess, but…a big mansion… I wanted to throw…parties with my mom…before, before she left my dad and me." She took a deep breath and squeezed her hands around my neck, but I felt it gradually slipping away.

"Rinoa?" And in an instant, her hands had slipped away. I felt her body slide easily from my back fall into the water and I tried to reach, but only grabbed hold of her shirt. I turned around and submerged myself underneath so I could grab her and pull her up to the surface again. When she reached the top, I heard her coughing, and then I followed her and broke into the surface of water as well, gathering my own breath. "Rinoa, don't you do that again!" I yelled, holding onto her, and she had let herself fall against my shoulders. "Rinoa!" She hadn't replied to me, and she felt like an iceberg in my arms. "Rin!"

I pulled her head back and studied her face. I saw that her eyes were dilating, but had remained still. She then looked at me and forced a smile with her purple lips, but hadn't said a single word.

I felt my eyes stinging with tears, not because of the salty seawater, but because I was watching Rinoa die in my arms. "Rin…" She closed her eyes, but I moved my hand to her face and forced her to open them again, "Stay with me, please Rinoa! Don't leave me here!" I felt hot tears fall from my eyes as I continued to call her name, but no matter what I did, she continued to fall into that hopeless state. I became angry that she was giving up, but what upset me the most was the fact that it was my fault she's out here dying! She trusted me with her life! "RINOA!" I cried out against her cold, lifeless body.

…I can't move…I can't do anything…I'm hopeless. I kissed Rinoa's cold mouth one last time, but I hadn't let go of her body. …For some strange reason…I don't want to go on. …So is this what Raijin felt…?

I closed my eyes and allowed my body to sink underneath the surface, purposely forgetting to take my last breath, and held her body close. I, too, had been freezing under the night sky in search of freedom with all my hope stored in my heart… But just as always, fate has a cruel way of reminding me that the world isn't fair, that it doesn't work the way I'd like it too, nor does it give a damn about me…

So as I pulled her closely against me, I had said my goodbyes to her, to my family, to the world…to everything. And in a matter of minutes, Squall Loire…had died.

I had been sinking into hell since the very beginning, living a meaningless life. Finally, my inexistence became reality, my personal heaven.

BOOOM

A felt a thump against my body…or was it unreal? Rinoa? …I heard something elsewhere too… However, Rinoa…is she?

I opened my eyes finally…and everything suddenly went white, but before I could try to understand what was happening, I lost myself again.

Another blackout? Or am I really dead?

Author's Unpleasant Paradise: (I'm having mixed feelings about this chapter…sorry if it sucked.) Warning: Author is very moody right now.

…Near the end of every story I write, I tend to…scare myself…scare myself away from the story, and also I surprise myself with my own words. –if that just made any sense at all- I somehow feel like I'm forgetting something valuable…or maybe adding too much…I don't know.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long wait…for this. lol. (I make it sound so horrible, don't I? lol) As always let me know if it sucks, is bad, horrible, okay, good, great, or excellent!

Okay, enough about me…

Here's to:

Blue-lol, thanks, I really don't expect everyone to review every chapter, but I'm really glad you thought about it! Don't worry! Rofl at your review, Feed Squall Fund! That's true really, the guy should be dying for something edible, but you know, he's more worried about losing his life than eating, haha. (Anyways, Squall says thanks:in the background, Squall wipes the cookie crumbs from his face quickly before you all see him: ) lol, thanks again!

Yae-I'm sorry for the long delay, and I hope it was worth the wait. I don't know…there's something about it just eating away at me. I don't think I've done my best this time around…:P (Probably because I'm a little sad about this story…aww…it's starting to get to me. ;tear-tear;) But I'll quickly cheer up because you've got sugary foods for me! Yay! Lol Thanks, thanks!

IttanMomen-Hey, that's right! Be positive about those exams! I'm sure you'll do well, too. Oh and I can't wait! I'll probably faint from happiness, lol. ;p

Ayato- Poor Everyone…I'm horrible! But not to worry… :puts a finger over mouth: (Can't tell anything…geez, I'm so obvious…) lol

Skydream-Long time no see! Hey and as you can see, he's all right! You don't have to worry about him: ) Oh, I hope I'm not running out of steam just yet, I'm not done… Let me know what you think of this chapter, too please! lol

Lady Rinoa- Yay, lol Didn't I say before how its impossible for me to stop? I started using it again without even realizing it! (lol) Thanks for the compliment and the encouragement (Thanks to everyone for that, by the way, I really need it) it helps to move me along and get through these rough times… Anyway, don't be angry, it's not over just yet…

…I'm usually this way when the story is about to end. I'm getting all depressed and writing more. I hope it wasn't a drag! This is the longest chapter in this story, that I've written so far…I really hope it was worth the wait, the read, and the time….

Thanks again everyone, and once again, please review me. (Oh yeah, thanks to the 'Hits' system, I found out approximately, 200 people looked into my story…or 100, because they probably clicked through. lol. I don't like 'Hits'…all these people reading, and no one telling me what they actually think of it! lol. (yeah, that's why I'm moody! Lol)

So…I'll get back to work in a short while….

StardustRay