Shwanx. I heard somebody say that word today. I have know idea what it means, if it means anything at all. It was so funny to me that I decided to start with it. Go ahead and say it out loud. It feels good on the tongue. Shwanx.

One bazillion days of waiting and here's chapter 17 finally. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you guys wait so long, but a lot of things kept happening, none of which was letting me get to this fic. But I made time and now here it is. I hope it was well worth the wait. I'm not entirely sure though. I'm a bit iffy on this chapter. Read the warning below and you'll see why.

To SolaTira: really, really sorry I didn't get this chapter up faster. Believe me, every time I got one of your reviews it was like a poke in the arm to get up and type something. So for that this chapter is dedicated to you.

WARNING: This chapter is a huge bit sappy, a little melodramatic, kind of depressing, and generally sad. So please no reviews going Oh, your last chapter was a huge bit sappy, a little melodramatic, kind of depressing, and generally sad. 'Cause I know. Sorry about that though. I usually don't like that kind of thing. Too cheesy romance novel like for me, but I saw no way around it. And you have been warned in advanced so don't get mad at me, the lowly authoress, when you start to choke on the sheer amounts of cheese. I promise, I'll try to make up for it.

So much junk at the top of the chapter. Sorry. So I won't hold you up any longer. For disclaimer, flick back to any other chapter. It's the same. Now go. Read. Enjoy. Review.

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Chapter 17

Love Forgotten

Harry slowly opened his eyes. For a long while he was very confused as to where he was. He was aware of lying in a bed, he could feel the blankets wrapped around him and the warm flannel pajamas against his skin, but he had no idea why. Harry stared around with blurry vision at the now familiar setting of the hospital wing. What in the world was he doing here again?

Harry reached automatically for the small table he knew would be at his right side, hoping to find his glasses. He stopped short though, when he found he couldn't move his arm more than a few inches. He looked down to see his right arm in a sling, his hand tightly bandaged. Harry frowned more confused than ever. What had happened to his hand? And then very slowly, the events of the night begin to trickle past his still slightly dulled senses. He slowly remembered talking to Pansy, and then a cave and finding Lestrange and…Min.

Harry sat up very fast, much faster than he should have. His head spun slightly from the sudden movement but he ignored it. Min, he thought desperately, I have to find Min.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Harry looked around. Even without his glasses, he knew it was Professor Lupin approaching him. "Lie back down, Harry. Madam Pomfrey says you still aren't well."

Harry shook his head. "I have to…"

"Lie back down."

Harry blinked. Just past Professor Lupin was Professor Dumbledore. He held out his hand, trying to give Harry something. "Here you are, Mr. Potter," he said then added in explanation, "Your glasses."

Harry reached for them with his right hand, belatedly remembering the sling. Professor Lupin smiled and took the glasses from Professor Dumbledore then gently placed them on Harry's face. Suddenly the world came into focus again and Harry stared at the teacher and the headmaster. "I have to go," he said. "I have to…"

"No, Harry," Professor Lupin said, firmly pushing Harry back into bed. "You have to rest."

"But…"

"It's alright," he said kindly. "You're alright."

Harry stared up at Lupin. He wasn't alright. He wouldn't be until he found Min. The last time he had seen her she had been… Harry closed his eyes, pushing the image of Min's incredibly still body from his mind. He had to find her and see that she was okay. He took a deep breath. "Professor Lupin, I have to see…"

"Tell, us what happened tonight, Mr. Potter."

Harry looked at Professor Dumbledore slightly annoyed at being cut off again. "Can't I tell you later. I want to see…"

"Now, Mr. Potter, if you don't mind," Professor Dumbledore answered. He pulled a chair up from nowhere and took a seat by Harry's bed side, waiting to hear Harry's version of the events.

Harry looked at the headmaster then turned to Professor Lupin. He looked a little uncomfortable, but he nodded at Harry. "I would like to know what happened, as well," he said.

"Please, I just want to see her. I have to see her. I know you took her from me. Is she okay?" Harry asked, desperate that one of them would give him a straight answer. He didn't like the way they were avoiding his eyes. Min had been so still. Did that mean she had really been… No. Harry refused to believe it. "Is she okay?" He repeated, barely above a whisper.

Professor Dumbledore sighed heavily. "She's still alive." Harry was beyond relieved to hear that, but he didn't like the way Professor Dumbledore had said it. He said it as if he expected Min to die at any moment. Besides, he hadn't answered the question.

"But is she okay?"

Professor Dumbledore was quiet for a moment before answering, "We'll talk about Minerva after you tell us what happened tonight."

Harry blinked in surprise at the use of Min's full name. He glanced at Professor Lupin, but he didn't seem bothered by it. So he really did know.

"Harry," Professor Dumbledore prompted.

Harry nodded and related the events of the evening as best as he could remember. He started with his talking to Pansy and (after a scolding from Lupin for using Polyjuice to trick another student) went on to tell how he had found Min missing and had gone to find her. He told them how he had had a suspicion it was Bellatrix Lestrange at the school and how he had prepared to face her (and received another scolding from Professor Lupin for tricking a gullible teacher into allowing him into the forbidden section of the library). He told them what he could remember of the duel in clipped, dull tones, not wanting to sound like a hero, not when he couldn't save Min. "It was the prophecy she had wanted," Harry finished, "About me and Voldemort."

Professor Dumbledore nodded. "And you as well, it would seem. I'm sure she planned to carry you and the prophecy back to Lord Voldemort."

Harry was quiet for a moment then said, "I'm sorry. What happened to night was my fault. I was so…so stupid. Ron and Hermione told me to go to one of you. Min told me, but I wouldn't listen. I so busy hating Lestrange for what she had done to Sirius that I wouldn't listen. I was stupid to think that I could face her alone."

After a moment Professor Lupin said, "You managed to kill her." Harry looked up at him slowly. "After Mr. Malfoy led us to you and, er, Min, we found the two of you and Lestrange dead," he went on.

"Oh," Harry said emotionlessly. Then frowning, he asked, "Malfoy?"

Professor Lupin nodded. "After he escaped, he found Professor Snape who in turn found Professor Dumbledore and me. We followed Mr. Malfoy to you as quickly as we could. Unfortunately, we didn't get there quickly enough to help."

Harry nodded. Malfoy was still a cowardly little weasel, but at least he hadn't left them completely on their own. "What's happening with him?" Harry asked.

"Who? Mr. Malfoy?" Professor Lupin questioned. Harry nodded. "His, er, father came for him already. And once Pansy found out what had happened to Lestrange, she confessed to Professor Dumbledore. Kingsley and Tonks came to investigate and took her back to the Ministry. They left only a short while ago."

Harry looked up. "They're both gone then? Are they in a lot of trouble?"

"A great deal of trouble." Professor Lupin nodded. "I'm not sure what's going to happen to them yet, though. Kingsley would have liked to speak with you about Lestrange," he added. "But Professor Dumbledore and I assured him we'd tell him exactly what happened."

Harry nodded slowly and looked down at his right hand. Lestrange was really gone. He had known that. He had killed her. But it seemed real now that someone else had confirmed it. "So, she's dead."

Professor Lupin nodded. "Yes."

"But it wasn't enough to help, Min," Harry said quietly.

"No, it wasn't."

Harry glanced at Professor Dumbledore, slightly surprised. He hadn't expected to hear him agree.

"What you did, Harry, was extremely foolish," Professor Dumbledore went on. "You not only endangered your life, but you endangered the life every student here. You had no right to do that, no matter what your reasoning. You were rash, Harry, and incredibly selfish."

Harry stared at the headmaster. For the first time Professor Dumbledore really seemed angry with him. Harry had never directly received Dumbledore's wrath, and he had no idea that the headmaster could be so quietly angry. Harry had always thought that if Professor Dumbledore truly became angry with him, it would affect him deeply in someway. But as he stared up at the flashing blue eyes, he found it really didn't bother him. "I'm sorry," Harry said softly, partially because that seemed like the right thing to say.

Professor Dumbledore watched him for a second. The anger seemed to evaporate from his eyes and he sighed deeply. "Perhaps you are," he said standing.

"Of course he is," Professor Lupin frowned. "Harry didn't mean for any of this to happen. He didn't think, but I know he wasn't purposely putting anyone in danger. He was only trying to save…his friend."

Professor Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, I know." He looked at Harry again. "I must apologize to you , Harry. It is still my responsibility to keep you safe and in that respect I failed. I had my suspicions, too. I first started to suspect when my office was raided. It wasn't something Peeves would normally do and when my Penseive didn't turn up with my other things, I thought someone or something was here that shouldn't be. After you told me about the black owl, I decided to gather more information about what was going on at my school before I acted." Professor Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Maybe I should have moved sooner." He looked at Harry. "I know it is hard to decide when you should act and when you shouldn't. It is not an easy thing to foresee all possible outcomes and make sound decisions. Though I still wish you had come to me when this all first started."

Harry nodded. "So do I," he mumbled. "Can I see Min?" He asked, looking back at Professor Dumbledore.

The headmaster nodded, and, walking over to the bed next to his, pulled the privacy curtain back. Lying in the bed was Min, just as pale and still as Harry had remember seeing her last. He sat up slowly, fighting a lump that was forming in his throat. Slowly he got out of bed, ignoring the look of protest on Professor Lupin's face. He walked over to Min and looked down at her. She looked so peaceful. She could have been asleep…or dead. "What's wrong with her?" Harry asked, quietly. "Is it the poison?"

"No," Professor Dumbledore answered. "The poison didn't affect her."

"But how?" Harry asked, looking back. "I saw Lestrange stab her."

Professor Dumbledore pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Harry. He knew immediately that it was the pendant he had given Min for Christmas, but instead of the clear blue-gray it had been, it was a glassy black. Harry frowned. "I don't understand," he said, looking back a Professor Dumbledore. "What happened?"

"Apparently, Lestrange struck that stone when she attempted push her poisoned blade into Minerva's chest. Basilisk bone may be the only material that can hold the basilisk blood, but it is not a very strong material. The knife was able to crack the stone, but not pierce it. It seems the poison leaked into the that stone."

"That's why it's black now?" Harry asked, running his thumb across the surface of the pendent. He could just barely make out a jagged crack running down the center of the stone very much like a scar in the rock.

"Yes, that is why," Professor Dumbledore answered.

"So, if it's not the poison that has her ill, then what is it?" Harry asked, looking back at Min.

"We're not entirely sure yet," Professor Dumbledore said. "But we know its something to do with the de-aging potion."

Harry looked up surprised. "But Min said it wasn't dangerous."

"There were more side effects than we could have guessed upon. One of those side effects was slowly making her very sick, but none of us saw it. Not until it was too late." Professor Dumbledore looked very tired all of a sudden. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Sound decisions," he said, quietly, as if to himself.

"Will she be okay?" Harry asked. He didn't like that "too late" part. Did he mean it was too late to do anything for Min?

Professor Dumbledore was silent for moment before answering, "Professor Snape and Madam Pomfrey are putting their heads together to learn what's wrong with Minerva and how best to treat it."

Again, Dumbledore didn't answer Harry's question. Harry was becoming very annoyed with that. "But will she be okay?"

Professor Dumbledore looked at Harry very seriously. "I don't know," he answered at last, and Harry felt his heart stop. His head was spinning. What did he mean he didn't know? He had to know and the answer had to be yes. "I'll leave you now," Professor Dumbledore said quietly. "You should get some rest, Harry. You've had a very exciting evening to say the least."

"But…" Harry started weakly. Professor Dumbledore walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. He gave Harry a small but encouraging smile and then left him standing next to Min's bed. Harry watched Professor Dumbledore go, wondering how the headmaster could leave him with a half-hearted smile and an "I don't know".

Professor Lupin walked over slowly to stand next to Harry. "She'll be alright," he said, looking down at Min. "If sixteen year old Minerva is anything like the adult Minerva I knew, she'll be okay."

Harry looked up at Professor Lupin. "Thanks," he mumbled, "For saying that."

"You should get some rest, Harry," Lupin said, "You look a little pale."

Harry nodded.

"Get some sleep. And don't worry about Minerva. She will be okay."

Harry nodded again.

Professor Lupin gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze before leaving him alone. Harry didn't get back into bed. He pulled up the chair Professor Dumbledore had used and sat next to Min. He remained next to her the entire night, watching her and hoping that she would open her eyes and smile at him. She never did.

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Madam Pomfrey kept Harry in the hospital wing for three days more to keep an eye on his hand that had been nearly fully healed the morning after the incident. For once, Harry didn't mind, though. He wanted to stay as close to Min as possible, and for those three days Harry remained in pretty much the same position by Min's side. He didn't eat much. He couldn't muster up an appetite. He moved from Min's side only when Professor Snape came in to check on her. Then he would retreat to his own bed and pretend not to notice the cold, hateful glances the teacher would throw at him. Ron and Hermione visited often and would try their best to cheer him up. But Harry wasn't in the mood to be cheered up. Min could die and he was certain it was his fault.

Towards the end of the third day, Professor Lupin stopped in. He smiled warmly at Harry and joined him next to Min.

"How are you, Harry?"

Harry shrugged.

"Yeah, I understand." Professor Lupin looked back at Min and said, "Professor Snape knows what's wrong with her."

This got Harry's attention. He hadn't been planning on paying attention to Lupin sure he would just have another "cheer up and feel better" speech to give. He was glad it wasn't and even happier to finally find out what was wrong with Min. "Yeah?" he asked looking up at Lupin.

"The de-aging potion was weakening her blood vessel," Professor Lupin answered. "Particularly the ones supplying her brain. An aneurism had formed in one of the major vessels. She's very lucky. Considering everything that's happened, she could have easily died."

"What's an aneurism?" Harry asked, looking back at Min. He didn't like the sound of the word or the thought of Min having one.

"It's a swelling of a blood vessel. This one had been forming slowly. Professor Snape said she had been suffering from headaches, probably because of the aneurism." Harry nodded. Only a few days ago Min had taken more Tylenol than any one person ought to at one time to get rid of a headache. "Any longer," Professor Lupin went on, "And it could have burst. There would've been nothing anyone could do for her then."

Harry looked up at Lupin again. "You mean, her brain could have exploded?"

Professor Lupin frowned. "In way, yes, I suppose."

"But she's going to be okay, right?"

Professor Lupin nodded. "It was caught in enough time and can be easily treated with magic. She'll be back to herself in no time."

Harry nodded, for the first time in three days feeling as if he could finally breath again. "I'm glad. I don't know if I can live with myself if I never got the chance to tell her I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"For doing this to her," Harry answered, waving a hand at Min's still form. "This is my fault."

"No, Harry. You couldn't have known about the potion."

"But she wouldn't be like this if I hadn't asked her to keep taking it. I wanted her to stay sixteen for me." Harry stared at Min for a long moment before finally saying. "Professor Dumbledore is right. I am selfish."

"You aren't selfish, Harry. You're…young," Professor Lupin said. "And Minerva decided to keep taking the potion. She could have said no. So you can't take all the blame upon yourself."

"But it was my idea…"

"And her right to say no." Professor Lupin looked at Harry. "And it's not her fault either. She didn't know that the potion would make her sick. You didn't know. Professor Snape didn't know. No one knew. If anything this was an accident. The important thing is, she'll be alright."

Harry nodded. "You're right. When will she wake up? I really want to talk to her. I miss her."

Professor Lupin looked away and was quiet for a moment before answering. "She can't be treated here. She'll have to be taken to St. Mungo's. She's leaving tonight."

"Tonight?" Harry asked. "Can I go; to be there when she wakes up?"

Professor Lupin shook his head. "I'm sorry, but no."

Harry looked back at her Min and her still features. "That's alright," he said after a moment, "As long as she'll be okay ?"

Professor Lupin nodded. "She'll be okay. But will you be?"

Harry looked at Professor Lupin and frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Minerva can't take the de-aging potion anymore. She's going to go back to her old self. She won't be Mindy James anymore."

Harry stared at Lupin for a moment then looked back at Min. He had been so worried about her survival that he hadn't given any thought to the fact that it would be impossible for her to keep taking the potion. But she couldn't. Of course she couldn't. She couldn't risk her brain exploding just to please him, nor would he want that. Harry stared at Min, as the gravity of what Professor Lupin had just said struck him. Min wasn't going to die, but he was still going to lose her anyway. "I don't know," he answered after a bit.

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Madam Pomfrey sent Harry back to Gryffindor Tower shortly after Professor Lupin left. Harry tried all that he could to remain one more night. He had to be there when they came to take Min to St. Mungo's to say good-bye to her, even if she couldn't hear him. But even lying and saying his hand was still aching couldn't get Madam Pomfrey to agree to let him stay.

Harry was very miserable as he dressed in his school robes. He completely ignored Ron and Hermione who had stopped by the hospital wing just as Madam Pomfrey was throwing him out. They walked back to Gryffindor Tower with him, chatting lightly and trying to suck him into a conversation. Harry didn't feel like small talk. He didn't feel like much of anything. As soon as he got back to Gryffindor Tower he headed straight up to the sixth year boys' room and climbed into his bed. He pulled the privacy currents around, enveloping himself in dark, and remained there the rest of the night.

Harry had every attention of staying in the room the next morning, but Ron practically dragged him out of bed.

"You've got to come down to breakfast, Harry," he said, tugging Harry's blanket away. "You've got to eat, and you don't want to be late for class. It's your first day back after forever."

Harry pulled his pillow over his head, shivering slightly at the sudden draft. "You sound like Hermione," he mumbled through the pillow.

"Good, that means one of us is being reasonable," Ron answered. "Get up and get dressed."

Harry didn't move.

"Harry, please," Ron said. Again, Harry made no attempt to move, not even so much as to look up. Harry felt a slight weight at his side as Ron sat down next to him. "I know you're worried about Min, not knowing what's wrong with her, but being all depressed isn't going to help."

"I know what's wrong with her already," Harry mumbled.

"Do you?" Ron asked. "You didn't say anything yesterday."

"I didn't feel like talking."

"You feel like talking now?"

"No."

Ron was quiet for a moment. "I don't think you should've kept that to yourself, Harry," he said finally. "You're not the only one who cares about Min. Me and Hermione, we're her friends too."

Harry didn't say anything. If he told Ron about Min then he would also have to tell him that she was gone and she wouldn't be coming back. He didn't want to talk about that. He didn't want to think about it.

Harry could feel Ron's warm brown eyes, boring through the pillow that covered his head to look at him. Harry squirmed under the stare he knew he must be receiving, but still didn't answer. The weight at his side lifted as Ron stood. "Alright. Don't talk about it right now, but get up. Seriously, all this moping about isn't healthy."

Harry still didn't move for a bit more, and when finally looked around he found he was alone. Ron must have gone down to breakfast. He was probably complaining with Hermione about him at that very moment. Harry was very tempted not to move at all, and stick to his earlier plan of staying in bed for the rest of the day. But he knew if he didn't show up for his first class then Ron would come back and bother him some more. Worse yet, Hermione might come and she'd find a way to make him talk.

It took every ounce of strength Harry had to pull himself out of bed and go through the normal morning routine. But he somehow managed and was able to drag himself down to Transfigurations, arriving just before class started. He chose a seat in the back of the room and sat quietly, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Hermione and Ron arrived shortly after he had, both wearing relieved expressions as they spotted him in the back. They sat down next to him, one on either side of him.

"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked quietly.

Harry shrugged, and slumped down in his seat.

Hermione leaned in closer and whispered, "Ron told me you know what's the matter with Min."

Harry shrugged again in response.

Hermione frowned. "Harry, we want to know. We're just as worried about her as you are."

Harry looked over at Hermione. "Can we talk about this later?" he asked. "I don't want to say anything now," he added, looking around the steadily filling class.

Hermione glanced around too and, seeing Harry's logic, nodded. "After class then." She turned away from him and faced forward just as Professor Lupin walked in.

Professor Lupin spotted Harry and gave him an encouraging smile before starting the lesson for the day. "Today we'll be reviewing for the end of the year exams. Open your books to chapter eighteen. We'll start there."

Harry spent the class period in a state of numb quiet, only half listening to Professor Lupin go over the chapter. He ignored the glances everyone kept throwing in his direction. He could tell everyone was itching to get details of what had happened. No one (besides Ron and Hermione) had seen Min for nearly a week, and the rumor that she was dead was running rampant. No one questioned him directly though. Harry guessed Professor Dumbledore had asked the students not to, like after the Tri-wizard cup. This, of course, only reinforced the idea that Min was dead, and Harry found himself receiving more sympathetic looks than he could stomach.

"Poor Harry." He over heard Parvati whisper (rather loudly) to Lavender while Professor Lupin was busy writing the high points of the chapter on the board. "He and Mindy had only just gotten back to together and now she's dead."

Lavender nodded sadly, looking in Harry's direction, eyes filled with concern.

Harry rolled his eyes at this and returned to staring at his book blankly. He was only too glad when class ended and could get away from the stares and whispers. That was, until he remembered he promised Ron and Hermione an explanation. The two of them pulled him away from the larger crowd, as they headed outside to Hagrid's class.

"Well?" Hermione whispered, when she was sure they were walking alone. "What's happening with her?"

"Is she going to be alright?" Ron asked.

Harry nodded slowly. "The potion was making her sick, but Professor Lupin says they know how to fix it."

"So she will be okay," Ron said. "That's a relief."

"But she had to go to St. Mungo's for treatment," Harry went on.

"So what?" Ron asked. "She's going to be alright. When's she getting back?"

Harry shook his head. "She's not coming back."

Ron frowned. "What d'ya mean she's not coming back?"

"The potion was making her sick," Harry repeated. "She can't take it anymore and that means…"

"That means she'll turn back into Professor McGonagall," Hermione said.

"No," Harry shook his head. "That means Min will be gone. Forever."

Hermione frowned. "She want be gone, Harry."

"Yes, she will. Min isn't going to come back. I'll never see her again." He was quiet for a moment before saying, "It's the same as if she'd died."

"No, it's not," Hermione said, stepping in front of Harry. "She won't be dead. She'll just be…different."

Harry looked at Hermione as if she knew nothing, and then stepped around her and continued on.

"Harry," Hermione said, and started after him, but Ron caught her by the arm and shook his head.

He caught up with Harry and said, "I'm really sorry. I understand how you feel."

Harry's eyes flashed with sudden anger. How could Ron say that he understood how he felt? Ron hadn't felt the loss he had. "No you don't," Harry bit off. "You can't possibly understand how I feel. I sat beside her for so long, afraid she was going to die. And then I find out that she isn't; only to find out that it doesn't make a difference because she can't be Min anymore. The girl I love is still gone." Harry looked over at Ron. "How can you understand how I feel?"

Ron frowned slightly. "Maybe I don't understand exactly, but I know how you're feeling." Harry snorted. "I do," Ron insisted. "I can see what you're feeling."

"Oh, that's right," Harry said, sarcastically. "You can see it. Tell me something, why didn't you see this coming? Why didn't you tell me it wouldn't work out? Why didn't you tell she was going to die?"

Ron didn't answer. He turned away from Harry and looked towards the lake they were just starting to pass.

"I seem to remember you making one prediction about our future," Harry went on, staring at the back of Ron's head. "Do you remember? It was just after we had told you our decision. You told us you had a feeling things were going to work out for us. What happened to that feeling?"

"I guess…I guess I was wrong," Ron answered quietly.

"Then how do you know you aren't wrong about what you think you see now?" Harry hissed. "How do you know you weren't wrong about everything?"

Hermione stepped between Ron and Harry. "Harry, stop it. I know you're upset, but you can't take it out on Ron. "

"It's okay," Ron said. "He needs to be angry with somebody."

Harry shook his head. "Stop trying to figure me out." He walked off from the two, not looking back. "And leave me alone." Harry shoved his hands deep in his pockets as he increased the distance between himself and Ron and Hermione. He could feel their eyes on him, but he didn't hear them follow. Apparently, they were going to leave him alone. And Harry certainly felt alone. He had never felt so alone in his entire life.

Over the next few days, Harry did everything possible to avoid talking to anyone. He spent his lunch periods in the darkest corner of the library and stayed in Gryffindor Tower during dinner. Every now and then Hermione would catch up with him and drag him down to the Great Hall. She would more or less force food down his throat, but Harry couldn't find much of an appetite. For the most part though, she and Ron were staying out of his way. The two of them were thoughtful enough to keep everyone else from bothering him too. Harry supposed they figured he'd get over his mood eventually. It didn't seem that way to Harry, though. He couldn't remember a time when he wasn't feeling sad. And he couldn't shake the feeling of immense loneliness. He missed Min more than he thought it was humanly possible to miss a person, and it was made all the worse when ever he thought about her and remembered that she wouldn't be coming back.

The weather had warmed permanently. All the snow was gone and the nightly frosts were a thing of the past. Spring had finally come in full swing, but Harry hardly noticed. He paid little attention to the warm weather or the tiny new leaves beginning to bud on the birch that he sat under. Harry wasn't outside to enjoy the day. He was outside because the library had been taken over by students preparing for final exams. Even his dark little corner had been found. Here, under the birch tree, was only place he could find to be alone. Harry knew it was irrational to wish to not be lonely and still seek out lonely spots, but he couldn't stand company. He was sick of people hinting around, hoping he'd tell them something about Min. He was sick Ron and Hermione trying to cheer him up with meaningless conversations. He was sick of it all.

Harry drew his knees up to his chest and folded his across the tops of them. He rested his chin on his fold arms and stared at the new green blades pushing past the brown withered ones of winter. He had been sitting there watching grass grow for sometime when heard footsteps ahead of him. They were too light to belong to Ron, so he assumed it was Hermione coming to drag him back to the Great Hall and force feed him. He never bothered to look up; not even when the foot falls stopped beside him.

"I'm not hungry," Harry mumbled, hoping Hermione would just go away.

"Then I suppose you don't want this."

Harry jerked up in surprised and looked around. Standing over him wasn't Hermione at all, but Lavender.

She smiled warily at him, dangling a pair of chocolate frogs in his face. "I thought you might like one, but if not," she shrugged.

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. May I join you?" She asked and sat down in the grass besides Harry before he could say no. "Sure you don't want one. Chocolate always makes me feel better." She offered him a chocolate frog again and Harry took it absently.

"Is there something you want?" He asked, slightly annoyed at her intrusion.

"Just to see if you were alright," she answered with a smile. "I've been worried about you."

Harry looked at her curiously. No one besides Ron, Hermione, and Mindy had ever said they were worried about him. It was a little strange hearing those words from Lavender. "Why?"

"Because," Lavender said slowly, looking away from Harry, "I know what you must be feeling and I'm afraid no one else here really understands."

Harry turned away from her, frowning. He was sick of people saying they knew how he felt when they couldn't possibly. No one in the world could understand. "What makes you think you know how I feel?"

"Because I felt the same when I thought Neville was going to die."

Harry's frown softened a bit. He had forgotten about that. "Oh."

"I was pretty depressed too," Lavender went on. "I was sure Neville had no idea how much I cared for him, and that he'd never know. It didn't help that I didn't have anyone to talk to either."

Harry didn't say anything. He had returned to staring at the grass. Maybe Lavender did have a similar experience, but he was not about to spew all of his feelings and emotions out to her.

Lavender didn't seem to mind that Harry wasn't responding. "It's hard," she said, "When someone you really like a lot, even love, is hurt so badly. But it's even worse when you don't talk about it with someone. I didn't think I had anyone to turn to. I couldn't talk to Parvati. She couldn't understand why I would ask Neville to the Yule Ball. If she couldn't understand that, how could she possibly understand how I felt about him?"

Harry didn't say anything for a moment before frowning and asking, "You asked Neville to the ball?"

"He was too shy to ask me," Lavender answered with a wistful smile. "Anyway, after what happened I just…I just got so depressed. I couldn't eat or sleep or think. All I wanted to do was sit in the dark and cry. And then you found me in the library. You asked me if I was okay and I finally had someone to talk to. Harry, you have no idea how much it helped to finally talk to some one. After that I felt like doing something to help Neville instead of just sitting in a corner and feeling miserable."

Harry picked at a bit of the dead grass. "No offense, Lavender, but I don't think talking it out is going to help me any. I'm trying to forget."

"Harry, you have to do something. You can't go on like this."

"There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do for Min or do to change things. She's gone and I'm never going to see her again. Never."

Lavender was quiet for a bit before asking very softly, "Mindy isn't dead, is she? That's the rumor but I never believed it. Professor Dumbledore would have told us…"

"She isn't dead," Harry answered. "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm never going to see her again. She's not coming back here. Ever."

Lavender said nothing for a moment before finally saying, "Maybe there isn't anything you can do to help the situation with Min, Harry, but maybe you should try to do something to help yourself. And sitting around crying all day isn't it."

"I'm not crying," Harry said a little defensively.

"Yes you are," Lavender responded. "You've been crying every since you came back to Gryffindor Tower and you haven't stopped yet."

Harry could say nothing to that because he knew she was right. He hated being so miserable, but he didn't know how to make himself stop. No matter what Lavender said, he knew talking about it wasn't the answer. He just wished he could make it all go away.

"Harry, you've got to stop," Lavender said. "Mindy wouldn't want you like this."

"I know. But there's nothing I can do about it."

"Maybe you could try rejoining the world. After a little time it want be so bad anymore."

Harry shook his head. "I don't think I can. It really…hurts, you know."

Lavender nodded. "I know."

"Unless you can tell me a way to make this hurt go away, I just--I just can't."

"There's nothing for that short of forgetting you ever loved her."

"Forget," Harry repeated slowly.

"But that could never happen," Lavender went on. "I guess you just have to give it time. After a while, it may not seem so bad. And you have to remember you have friends. Everybody really cares about you, Harry."

Harry stared at Lavender for a moment, before smiling slowly. It was the first smile to grace his face in days, and it felt good. "You really helped me, Lavender," he said.

Lavender's eyes brightened and she grinned. "I did? I'm so glad." She wrapped her arms around Harry's shoulders and gave him a squeeze. "I'm glad you're feeling a little better. Really, I am." She pulled away and stood up. "Eat the chocolate frog, Harry. It really will make you feel good."

Harry nodded. "Thanks, Lavender."

She smiled and turned away. "Don't be late for class," she called over her shoulder.

Harry watched her leave, before standing slowly and heading back towards the school. Lavender had helped him but not in the way she thought. She had helped him understand how to make the loneliness go away. He had to forget. Harry walked into the school and hurried towards Professor Lupin's office. If he hurried he might be able to catch him before he headed back to class after lunch. Harry was just approaching the corridor leading to Professor Lupin's office when he ran into the teacher.

"Professor Lupin," Harry called, hurrying to catch up with him. "Can we talk?"

Professor Lupin stopped walking and turned around. "Yes, Harry, of course. Should we go back to my office?"

Harry nodded and followed Professor Lupin back down the hall and into his office. Professor Lupin shut the door behind him and turned to face Harry.

"What is it, Harry?" He asked.

"It's me," Harry answered slowly. "I haven't been doing so well lately."

Professor Lupin nodded. "I know," he said kindly.

"But I think I know how to feel better."

Professor Lupin looked at him curiously. "Oh?"

Harry looked up, hoping Professor Lupin wouldn't shoot him down. "I was thinking that if I just didn't remember…things." He paused for a second then pushed on. "I want to forget I love her. Please, can you help me?"

Professor Lupin didn't say anything for a moment. He stared at Harry disbelievingly. "Are you saying you want me to perform a memory charm on you?"

Harry nodded. "That's it. A memory charm. One to make me forget I love her. Will you, Professor Lupin?"

"I don't think…"

"Please. I can't stand being the way I am. Whenever I think about her, I'm miserable and I can't stop thinking about her. And I just--I just want it to stop."

Professor Lupin nodded slowly. "You really liked her, I understand. But I can't take away your memories, Harry. I know it hurts now, but years from now you're going to look back on this…"

"What? Fondly?"

"Well…"

"Do you really believe I'll look back on falling in love with my Transfigurations teacher fondly?" Harry shook his head. "I don't think so, Professor Lupin. And next year, how am I supposed to look at Professor McGonagall. Every time I see her, I'm going to think of Min, and it's just going to be…weird."

Professor Lupin nodded slowly. "I can certainly see that."

"So will you? Will you make me forget?"

Professor Lupin looked down in thought. After a moment he looked back at Harry and answered, "I think we should go see Professor Dumbledore."

"What? Why? Please, I just want to forget and get this over with."

Professor Lupin shook his head. "I want point and shoot your memories away without Professor Dumbledore knowing about it first. Besides, if he agrees, I'd rather have him perform the memory charm. Those type spells were never my forte and it's entirely too easy to wipe out too much. You wouldn't want to end up like Lockhart, now would you?"

Harry had to agree with that. He remembered the blond ex-Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, now living in the closed ward of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries completely unaware of the happening of his own life. Harry couldn't think of a worst existence, except perhaps what he was going through at the moment. "Alright," he said after a bit. "I'll talk to Professor Dumbledore."

"Good," Professor Lupin said, opening his office door. "We'll go now."

Harry nodded. He wanted to. He wanted to forget as quickly as possible. They walked to Professor Dumbledore's office in silence. Professor Lupin kept glancing over at Harry as if he wasn't entirely sure about the whole thing. Harry ignored it. He was sure he wasn't making a mistake.

"Chocolate Truffles," Professor Lupin said when they reached the stone griffin and led Harry through the open portal and up the spiral staircase to the top. Lupin knocked lightly and was immediately answered.

"Come in."

Lupin looked back at Harry. "Not to late to change you mind," he said.

Harry shook his head, and in answer pushed the door to Dumbledore's office open. The headmaster was seated behind his great desk, scribbling notes on a wrinkled piece of parchment. Fawks was perched on his usual stand, molting a bit. The phoenix must have been cycling through his old stage again.

Professor Dumbledore looked up and asked. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Yes," Harry answered, stepping forward before Professor Lupin could say a word. "I need to forget everything. Everything about Min. I want to forget how much I--I liked her. Can you make me think we were always only friends?"

Professor Dumbledore put his quill down and stared at Harry for a moment. "I can," he said after a bit. "But are you sure you really want that?"

Harry nodded. "Yes, please. I do."

"You really want to forget your first true love?"

Harry felt his face burn. What the headmaster said might have been true, but that didn't mean Harry wanted to hear it coming out of his mouth. "It doesn't matter. I'll never see her again."

"All the more reason to treasure those memories."

Harry shook his head. Then saying the one thing Dumbledore couldn't possibly deny asked, "How am I supposed to look at Professor McGonagall? I'll never be able to see her the same way again."

Professor Dumbledore stood slowly and stepped from behind his desk. He stopped just in front of Harry, pulling out his wand. "I'll do this for you Harry, if that is really what you want. But think about it. Think long and hard. Do you really want to forget her?"

Harry looked up at Professor Dumbledore. "I have thought about it," he answered. "It's what I want. Make me forget her."

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Well, there you go. I hope I haven't upset too many people, but I'm sorry. I just couldn't leave Harry and Minerva together. She's Minerva McGonagall. She has to be there for Harry's final year at Hogwarts. And she has to be a teacher. It would just be weird if she wasn't. I know, I promised this would be the last chapter, well I lied. There's one more. But the next will be the last chapter. Yep, I will wrap it all up and reveal to you whether or not I will be doing a sequel. So one more to go and it's over. No more Harry Potter and the Black Owl. The end. Finished. Fin. Done. Good-bye. Gone forever. This story can't last forever after all.

In a last ditch effort not to waste more time than necessary, I want be holding a long drawn out comments to review section. There are, of course, some reviews that must be commented on, but if you don't see your name, it isn't because I don't love you. I do really. I love you all. (Unless you left me a mean review in which case I hate you and I hope you burn in the fires of hell for all eternity.) But it is because doing comments takes at least an extra day or so and I've already kept you waiting so long. So here's the necessary comments.

Mrsean: I did so love that review because it made stop and think. Harry was a blinking idiot wasn't he. I'll fix that when I do the rewrite. He still probably won't make a move, but I'll do something so that he isn't stupid and just sit there and watch Lestrange storming about when he could've done something to stop her. Did that last sentence make sense. It sounded okay in my head. Anyway, about Min. Even if Harry had said, "Forget it, we're going" she wouldn't have left. She couldn't in good conscious leave Draco lying on the floor. Harry could, but Min couldn't. So arguing about it wouldn't have done any good. At least that's how I justify his actions. Oh, and you should try screaming "Stun her, you idiot" out loud. Trust me. Your friends and family will love it.

Liz: I just have to say, The wicked witch is dead. Hee Hee 

ki master: The answer to your question is very simple. I forgot completely about the Marauder's Map, which was very stupid of me considering I'm writing an HP fanfic. I should be up on these things, right? I'll probably do something about that in the rewrite. Thanks for the reminder. The answer to second question can be answered with a question. Have you ever seen a cat with its arms behind its back? I haven't and I happen to know a cat very well. Her forelegs just don't go that way. Min's ropes were charmed to shrink so they would have continued to shrink even if she changed size. I'm not sure what would have happened if she became a cat with both arms still tied behind her back. I've never tried to force my cats arms back like that. That would be cruel; not for, for me. I've never had the heart (or the funds) to have her de-clawed. Maybe Min would have broken both shoulder blades. Whatever happened though, I'm sure it would have been very uncomfortable.

That's everything. Big thank you to everybody who has reviewed. Seriously, you people can make me so happy sometimes. I just hope this chapter didn't disappoint. But remember. There's still one more. Anyhow, if you liked, review please. If you didn't like, review anyway and let me know. And if you have questions, I've got answers. That is all so until next time…Shwanx.