Afterlife
Disclaimer: Lets see, I have it here somewhere. Searches pockets. Here we go: "NAKAMORI AOKO, WILL YOU BE MY VALINTINE?" … Wait … that's not it. That's another story. Throws away the paper. Oh here it is. "All characters belong to Gosho Aoyama. I own only the plot." Darn. I want to own Detective Conan instead! Oh well.
Chapter 3 - Acceptance
Heiji and Kazuha just watched from where they were, Kazuha still crying into his shirt, and Heiji putting a comforting arm around her. Ai stared at their shrinking forms as the ambulance moved away from the curb and shot down the street.
Heiji and Kazuha watched as the ambulance pulled away from the curb. Since there was nothing they could do, Heiji just guided the tearful Kazuha over to a bench and sat them down. As he held her close, he could 'feel' a rising dread, almost as if he knew what was happening right then in the ambulance. From the times working with Shinichi, he had developed what some would call a six sense. It would tell him when Shinichi was in trouble. That was how they usually stayed alive. One would get the feeling of dread and go off to find what stupid thing that the other did. He couldn't help but think about Conan and wonder if he would survive.
Heiji looked down at Kazuha and noticed that she had stopped crying. "Hey, you want to go back to the hotel now?" He asked with concern.
She looked back at him. "Yeah, let's go." She got off of the bench and pulled Heiji along, heading down the street. She didn't want to think about what was happening to Ran right now, but that was all her brain would let her think about.
Conan's heart stopped and Ran went ballistic.
"NO! SHINICHI! DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T LEAVE ME!" She cried, breaking into sobs. "DON'T … LEA…ve me…" Her voice trailed off, but she was still crying.
Heiji doubled over in pain. Kazuha, noticing the sudden resistance to her pulling, looked back at her friend. He was leaning over, clutching his sides like he had been hit really hard in the stomach. On his face was not pain, but fear. Kazuha didn't know why fear would be there, but she did know it wasn't good.
"What's wrong Heiji?" She asked him.
"Kudo's in trouble." He stood up straight and looked at her. "I'm afraid for both him and Mouri-san."
"Why do you say that?" She looked at him, her tiredness showing through. "We both know how much trouble he is in. Come on, we both were there."
"It's not like that. It's worse. I can't explain it. I just know he's in trouble."
"Let's go home. There's nothing we can do here."
Heiji agreed and let Kazuha drag him towards their hotel. When they arrived, they both just sat down on a couch and held each other, neither wanting to let go of the other.
Bring … Bring … Bring
The phone's ring interrupted their silence and Kazuha went to answer it. "Moshi Moshi"
"Kazuha-chan, he's gone." the voice said over the phone. It was Ran. "Tell Heiji for me please."
"Okay, do you want us to come over?" Kazuha asked, concerned for her friend. "We could come right now."
"No, not right now. I just need some time alone." Kazuha understood why Ran wanted to be left alone, and so she respected her decision. "Alright, let me know anytime you want us to come over. Don't let yourself hurt alone."
"I'll do." Kazuha could tell that her voice was straining not to crack with the pain she was feeling.
"Talk with you later, bye."
"Bye Kazuha-chan. Thanks."
Kazuha hung up the phone. "Who was that?" Heiji asked.
"Ran-chan. He's gone." Heiji knew at that moment that the pain he had felt earlier was when Shinichi had died.
"How's Ran doing?" He asked her, trying not to let the surprise into his voice.
"She says that she's okay, but I don't think so. She sounded like she was still in a state of shock.
"I think we should give tonight to be alone, but over the next while, we should stick by her side." The Osaka detective told her. "I think this will be harder on her in the morning, when it all comes crashing down."
"I agree. We need to be there for her." Kazuha walked over and took Heiji's hand, dragging him back to the couch. There, she once again buried herself in his arms. He just sat there, holding her close.
That night …
Ran starred out the window of her bedroom. She couldn't sleep, for fear that her dreams would be plagued with nightmares. She didn't want to face the night or day without her special someone. Any moment Conan-kun will be walking in here, trying to comfort me. She thought to herself. She promptly cursed herself, for thinking about Conan made the hurt grow. She felt the tears start to fall down her face, and she didn't care how saw her.
"Ran? You okay?" It was her mother, Eri. When she had heard about Conan's death, she and Kogoro both agreed that she should move back in to help Ran get over it. Her parents didn't know Conan was Shinichi.
"Yeah, just … just thinking about him." Ran told her mom, wiping the tears that had left tracks down her face. "It's hard to believe that he isn't here anymore."
"Shh, just let it all out." Eri said to her daughter, moving over to hold her as they both sat on the bed. Ran took this opportunity to bury herself in her mother's arms, crying hard. Eri held her close, rocking her and whispering words of comfort to her. Ran poured out her soul in the tears, and when she couldn't cry anymore, she fell asleep, still in her mother's arms.
She was running. From what, she had no idea and it freaked her out. All she knew was that she couldn't stop running. Eventually she tired out and plopped down in front of a light post. Her legs refused to hold her up anymore, so she just sat there trying to regain her breath. She looked over her shoulder and saw to her horror that it was still coming. She saw the black loafers as they entered the light. Blue pants and a blue suit coat followed the shoes. She looked up at the face and saw the dark brown hair with a piece sticking up in back. It was Shinichi in his school uniform.
"Ran. Why did you run from me? Why?" He asked her as she started to sob.
"Shinichi! You're dead! I saw you die!" She exclaimed, crying harder. "I want you back!"
"Ran, I'm not gone. I never left."
"GO AWAY! YOU'RE A GHOST OF MY FRIEND. LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Ran…"
"GO AWAY! YOU'RE NEVER COMING BACK!"
"Fine." He said, and turned around to leave. "I thought that you cared for me."
She sat there in the spotlight and cried. "Shinichi … why did you have to go?"
"Shinichi!"
"Shinichi!" She shouted, sitting straight up. For a moment she didn't recognize where she was. Ran then noticed that she had fallen asleep while in her mother's arms and her mom must have laid her down on her bed, for Eri was no where to be seen.
"Shinichi … why did you have to go?" She asked the world, not caring if it answered back.
She laid back down and hugged her pillow, trying to shut out the world of hurt that was around her.
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When Ran woke up again the next morning, she could smell food from downstairs. Pictures of her mother cooking was enough to make Ran get up and dressed, and then rush downstairs to try to save what she could of breakfast. When she arrived, though, she was meet with something she didn't expect. Sitting at the table was Heiji and Kazuha, with Chinese take-out.
"Thought you might like something to eat." Heiji told her. "So we picked something up."
"Thanks Hattori-kun, Kazuha-chan." She said, bowing to the two Osaka teens.
Kazuha stood up and walked over to hug her. "You feeling any better? Your mom said that you were having a hard time last night." There was concern in her voice, and Ran thanked the heavens for such a good friend.
"Yeah, now I do."
"Food has a funny way of doing that to people." Heiji interjected, trying to lighten the mood. He didn't like the sense of darkness around his friend's girl. They all laughed at his joke, even Ran, and it made the hurt seem farther away.
The teenagers sat down and ate breakfast together, listening to Heiji try to crack jokes and eventually making all of them laugh until their sides hurt. Once they were done, Kazuha helped Ran do the dishes while Heiji threw away their garbage. When they were done with the chores, Kazuha all but dragged Ran out of the house to have some fun together. Heiji said that he wanted to go talk with Dr. Agasa, and so left the girls together.
When Heiji arrived back at the Doc's house, he didn't hear any explosions. Okay, that's definitely weird. Heiji thought as he rang the doorbell. A few moments later, an old, round man in his 50's opened the door.
"Ah, Hattori-kun, what can I do for you?"
"Agasa-hagasi, have you heard about Conan?"
"Haibara-san arrived home last night and told me. I think she's very depressed right now."
"Yeah, but not as much as Mouri-san. I think it's going to be the hardest on her."
"Why don't you come in, there is someone I think you should meet." Heiji followed the doctor in, and was surprised when he meet what looked like an older Shinichi sitting on the couch with a woman to his side. "Hattori-kun, meet Kudo Yusaku and Kudo Yukiko. They're Shinichi's parents."
Heiji bowed to them. "Hello. I'm sorry about your son. He was a great man." He wasn't surprised when a sob escaped out of Yukiko's throat as she hugged her husband.
"Agasa as told us about you." Yusaku told him. "He says that you're the detective of the west while Shinichi was the detective of the east. I hope that you two got along."
"Got along as much as we could. It helps when we fight the same enemy."
"Ah yes, you must mean the Black Organization. I've personally had some run-ins with them." Yusaku informed Heiji. "For you information, Yukiko and I aren't going to be here very long. Most people don't know that Shinichi was Conan."
"What about Edogawa Fumiyo?"
"My wife isn't in the mood to act, so she won't be able to make the funeral."
"I see. I could let everyone know if you want."
"Agasa has done that for us already. Thank you anyways."
"Is there any…" Heiji started, but was stopped by a twinge. That was the usual sign that Shinichi was in trouble, but he was dead, wasn't he? Ok, this is getting weird. Heiji thought to himself.
"Is there any what?" Yusaku asked, bringing Heiji out of his thought and back to the conversation.
"Is there anything that I could do for you?" Heiji finished what he had been going to say.
"You feeling okay?" Yukiko asks, speaking up for the first time. "You don't look it."
"Yeah, just remembering something." Heiji shook his head to clear it of his ridiculous ideas about Shinichi being alive. "Is there anything I can do for you, though?"
"No, but thank you again. You should just help Ran not drown in her sorrow. She'll need you soon."
"I'll help her as much as I can. That, I promise."
They continued to discuss other ideas, but Heiji's mind wasn't on it. Eventually he had to leave. After saying good-bye to the Kudos and Agasa, he left for the Agency. He hoped that Kazuha and Ran had finished with what they were doing and were back there. Heiji spent the entire walk back running over ideas to explain the twinge he had felt earlier. He had expected the connection to break when Shinichi had died, but know he wasn't for sure. Heiji wasn't the superstitious, but he didn't need a dead detective following him around and Heiji knowing when it was in trouble. Usually this kind of thing is what Kazuha thinks up. She's the superstitious type, not me.
When he finally made it back to the Agency, it was already getting dark. Ran and Kazuha weren't back and Heiji was getting worried. He sat down on a couch to wait as long as he could. After an hour of waiting, he couldn't stand it anymore, and so he got up to leave. The girls chose that exact moment to arrive home, and nearly run over Heiji as the rush inside to get out of the rain that had started while Heiji was inside waiting.
While he waited for the girls to dry off, Heiji looked around for some food. As he was looking, he found a note.
Ran, Eri and I are going to be going up north for a while. She needs to get something and asked me to come along. Don't worry about us. Kogoro.
When the girls came down, Heiji gave it to Ran and then looked at Kazuha for ideas. She just returned a blank stare. Once Ran was finished reading the note, she handed it to Kazuha who read it and then she understood what Heiji had meant when he had looked at her.
"Ran-chan," Kazuha said, breaking the silence between them, "you could always come back to the hotel and stay with us, that way you don't have to be alone."
"Thanks, but no. I don't want to leave here."
"Ran…" Kazuha began, but Heiji cut her off.
"Alright 'Neechan. We'll see you tomorrow morning."
Ran nodded, and so Kazuha and Heiji left. She didn't really want to be alone, but she also didn't want to leave the agency. She sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. After watching a drama that made her even more depressed, she shut it off. She wasn't hungry, so she decided to just go to bed. It took her little time to fall asleep, for she was tired from running around with Kazuha. As sleep claimed her, she thought about Shinichi in her dream last night.
Once again she found herself in the dream. Only this time, she wasn't running. Instead, she was chasing something. She thought it might be Shinichi, but she wasn't for sure. After waking up to a world without him, she didn't want to lose him in her dreams. She ran harder, trying to catch up with the soccer player. As she neared him, she saw him start to fade out.
"NO! SHINICHI!" She shouted, trying to gain his attention. "DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T GO!"
Shinichi turned around, looking very hurt. "You sent me away. Why?" He continued to fade out. "Why did you send me away Ran? I thought that we were friends."
Shinichi's words ripped through Ran's soul, causing her to stumble and fall down. "Don't go Shinichi. I can't lose you again." She said, breaking out into tears. Shinichi just continued to fade out.
"I loved you Ran, and you just sent me away." He stopped running and looked back at her, pain in his eyes. "Why Ran?"
"I … I didn't want to have a … a ghost visit me and make it harder. Now, I … I don't care. I CAN'T LOSE YOU AGAIN!" She yelled at the detective.
Shinichi smiled at her. "You never lost me Ran. You just think you did." He faded completely out and left a bewildered Ran. What did he mean by she never lost him? She just sat there, confused and hurting.
When she woke the next morning, Ran could still remember the pain in Shinichi's face from the dream. To her, the dream seemed too real. It hurt her to see him so hurt, especially when she was the one causing the hurt. Now that he wasn't here to forgive, it made it even worse. Ran felt like she just wanted to die to make the hurting stop. She was tempted to end her life, but she remembered her promise to Shinichi.
"I can't go to the grave, knowing that I was the cause of your death. Promise me Ran. Promise me. … If I could have spared you the pain, I would have. I love you too much."
"I thank you for telling me Shinichi, even though the truth hurts. I would rather know than lose both of you not knowing at all. I promise that I won't kill myself, but I can't promise that I won't die from a broken heart."
Dying from a broken heart was just what she was doing. It hurt and there was nothing that she could do about it. As she sat on her bed, crying, she noticed something was on her windowsill. She got up to look at them and realized that they were flowers. Chrysanthemums to be exact. The kind of flower that only Shinichi would give her. At the thought of Shinichi, her heart broke. Shinichi was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it.
As her thoughts came back to the flowers, she couldn't help but smile. They were just so beautiful and they reminded her of the man she loved. If only he could come back to her. She would never leave his side again if he did.
She took the flowers downstairs and put them in a vase with flowers. When Kazuha and Heiji arrived, she had to show them the flowers. Heiji looked like someone just walked over his grave, but Kazuha was scared silly.
"Ran-chan, do you know what this means?" She asked the young woman. "This means that Shinichi is stalking you from the afterlife."
"Be serious Kazuha-chan. Ghosts aren't real, and Shinichi isn't alive." It hurt her to say so, but it was the truth. "It was probably some person who thought that I needed some cheering up and just happened to get the type of flowers that Shinichi always got me."
"No way! The possibility of that happening is very low. I think Shinichi is back to haunt you."
"Well, if he is, he's welcome to. I miss him."
"Look, whether he's staking Ran or not, we can't do anything about it. So let's just drop it." Heiji said, getting annoyed. Unknown to everyone else, though, he thought that Shinichi might be back. That morning again he had felt something through the 'danger' bond he shared with Shinichi, but he wasn't stupid enough to say it out loud. If he did, Kazuha would most likely kill him or faint and it would give Ran false hope. So instead, he kept his mouth shut.
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The next couple of days passed without much happening. Every morning, Ran found the chrysanthemums on her window and Heiji and Kazuha would stay with her all day. The only time she felt alone, now, was at night. Not even when her parents arrived back home did that feeling disappear. No one seemed to be able to remove it either. So, every night she would cry herself to sleep and dream about Shinichi telling her that she isn't alone.
Conan's funeral came and went and most of his friends went along in their lives. Ayumi, Genta, Mitsuhiko, and Ai were the only one's who seemed to have a hard time to let go of Conan. Ran understood, for he spent the most time with them.
One morning, she woke up and walked over to the windowsill to pick up the flowers that where usually there. Only this time there were none. Feeling like she had lost something again, she headed downstairs wondering why the flowers had stopped coming. They were her lifeline, what allowed her to survive the day. Without them, she was already feeling depressed.
As she turned the corner to enter the kitchen, she stopped and stared. All over the table was the chrysanthemums, and there was a note on top. She walked over and picked up the note, reading out loud what it said. Don't forget me. Three simple words made her go crazy.
"SHINICHI'S COMING BACK! SHINICHI'S COMING BACK!" She shouted to the world, not caring who was listening. Her parents rushed down the stairs, awoken by Ran's shouts. What they saw surprised them, to say the least. Ran, who hardly didn't look depressed, was jumping up and down with joy.
When Heiji and Kazuha arrived at their usual time that morning, they were met with an enthusiastic Ran. Kazuha as elated with Ran, but Heiji had is doubts. He hadn't felt anything since the second day after Shinichi had died. He wanted to believe the note, but there was just no proving anything. After Ran calmed down, she 'forced' Heiji and Kazuha to sit down and then told them about her dreams. Kazuha was convinced by the end that Shinichi was haunting Ran, while Heiji thought that something might have happened with Conan that made it possible for him to be alive. He just didn't know what.
Maybe the cure worked, but it took longer that thought. Ran thought to herself, after she finished telling about her dreams. I don't know how it's possible, but if it'll bring Shinichi back, I'll believe anything.
"'Neechan, I know you want to believe that Kudo is coming back; hell, I want to believe it, but we both know it's just not possible. I'm sorry to break your hopes, but Kudo's not coming back." Heiji told her, trying not to sound overbearing. He knew Ran needed happiness, but this wasn't the way.
"Aho, you leave her alone. She can think what she wants." Kazuha angrily told the detective. "If she's happy, then I'll go along." Boys are just so clueless at times. She thought to herself.
"But for her to have false hope? Is that good?" Heiji shot back, knowing he was fighting a losing battle.
"HEY! I can chose for myself." Ran shouted, to be heard over their argument. "I thank you for being concerned for me, but this is my decision."
"So then what do you decide?" Heiji asked, knowing what the answer would be.
"If Shinichi's alive, he'll come back to me. I'm going to wait for him. Even if he never shows."
Talk about dedication. Heiji thought, amazed. Would Kazuha would be like for me?
Eventually, the teenagers decided to go out and have some fun. They wanted out of the house, but Ran refused to let them go until they helped her put all the flowers in vases. By the time they were done, there was about 10 vases full of just the chrysanthemums.
"Wow, that's a lot of flowers!" Kazuha announced looking at the vases.
"Yeah." Was all Ran could think of.
They left the house and spent the day doing what ever Ran wanted. Kazuha and Heiji had never seen Ran so happy, and secretly they were very glad and hoped that Shinichi was really coming back. As it neared dark, Heiji was called to the police station for some help with a case. After asking Ran if she wanted company home and being told no, Kazuha followed him.
Ran walked down the path and noticed that she was going down the street that Shinichi used to live on. When she walked by his house, she stopped and looked at it longingly. As she stared at it, she noticed that it looked like someone had been there recently. Shinichi? Ran thought hopefully. She ran to the gate, and opening it, ran up the walkway to the front door. The door was locked, but that didn't stop Ran. She got the spare key, and opened it. Entering, she looked around. At first glance, everything looked like it had when she and Kazuha and last come here. She looked through the whole house, even going upstairs, but nothing seemed like it had someone living in it for days. Depressed, she left the house and continued to walk home. That night, she visited Shinichi again, but this time, she wasn't for sure she wanted to.
Ran sat down on the sofa in Shinichi's living room. It was the first time that she had appeared here, but she wasn't complaining. She had appeared in worse spots, like in the middle of a lake. She waited for Shinichi show up and comfort her like he always did. He never once seemed to be sad for himself. Instead, he looked like he hurt because she hurt. After a long while, she noticed that something was different. This time, Shinichi hadn't come at the beginning. She hoped that he was going to come soon. Just then she heard the front door open, and she looked at it. The person who came in wasn't Shinichi, but Conan.
"Ran-neechan? Whatcha doing in Shinichi-niichan's house?"
"Conan-kun? Where is Shinichi? Have you seen him?" She asked him, forgetting that Conan and Shinichi were the same person.
"Shinichi says he can't come anymore. He's moving on." Conan's words hit her like a sledgehammer.
"Why? Shinichi, you said that you wouldn't leave me alone!" She said, tears starting to form.
"Shinichi says that he's very sorry." Conan moved over to her and sat in her lap, hugging her.
"Why?" Was all she could think about. Why did he go back on his word? Why did he leave her alone? Why? Why? "WHY?"
"He wants you to be happy." Conan told her. "He said that he would keep his promise."
"Promise?"
"That he'd never leave you alone."
"How can he do that? You said he moved on."
"He did. He moved on for you."
"Conan-kun …" Ran was about to ask him why Shinichi moved on when a noise woke her up.
Ran looked around her room. It was still dark and the clock read 2:21 am. What woke me up? She wondered as she continued to look around the room. Then she spotted the source. In the shadows, by her door, someone was standing. The person was wearing a brown loafers, a blue suit, and a red bow tie. Her heart leapt into her throat. It couldn't be, could it?
"Shinichi?"
Shinichi smiled. "Hello Ran. Nice to see you again."
Ran didn't want to blink, for fear he would go away. "How?"
Shinichi just smiled and walked over to her. He bent down low, and hugged her. "I promised not to leave you alone. I'm going to make good on that promise."
Oh, yeah. He was definitely alive.
