"For my Father".
Author: Maria
Fandom: Mobile Fighter G Gundam
Pairing: Domon x Rain
30 Kisses Themes: #2 (letter), #4 (our distance and that person), and #11 (gardenia)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Imagawa's!
Warning: HEAVY spoilers for the end of the TV series.
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My dear Father:
In normal circumstances I would go towards you and say Hello, to later hug you tenderly. You see, I can't do anything like that now. For a simple and cruel reason...
You're not even in the realm of the living anymore.
I knew it already when Domon rescued me from the Devil Gundam. He didn't forget to tell me that, after Colonel Urube kidnapped me and shot you, you decided to sacrifice yourself to fix your terrible error. I can only try to imagine how much pain you had to endure, how much guilt you had to put up with, and all of it in the moments when your life was slipping away from you.
Father, there's no doubt that you did something terrible. You never were the kind of person who'd give in to selfish desires and themes. I know of it better than anybody else, of course, since you raised me almost on your own after Mother died, and you gave me this name of "Rain" because you wanted me to be a selfless, helpful woman, able to bring happiness to whoever was by my side. And I myself never ever noticed thay you could have something against Dr. Kasshu or Kyouji, not even when I was an adult...
However, I'm not here to judge you. Who am I to do it, anyway? We're all human. We make mistakes. You did see how wrong you were, and unlike so many people who choose to turn their eyes away, you chose to face them. You saved Allenby after I managed to defeat her, then decided to turn yourself in for your betrayal to the Kasshu family and face everything that would come with it...
And you also realized that I was willing to use you to run away from myself. Our loss of honor, something still so important for us Japanese? My sins being yours, after what you did? No. That wasn't the reason why I left with you. I was running away from Domon, just after we could finally be together after all of those years. That allowed me to be weak and self-centered, only thinking about myself and my pain and my inability to look at the man I love right to his face...
But you realized that this was wrong. And you chose to atone for your sins and even for mine by dying. This wasn't the way I wanted you to - but I did hear Minister Karato telling Dr. Kasshu that, if you ever survivend, you would've been executed for treason. You would've ended up dying anyway - but even then, I would've had a chance to say goodbye to you. To tell you that, despite what happened, I still loved you, and wanted to give you a good-bye kiss before your execution, just like I used to do every morning in my way to school...
However, it's useless to continue thinking of the "what if's". You're gone. Your body never was found after the fight against the Devil Gundam, but even when we've settled up a small symbolic gravestone for both you and Kyouji, next to Mrs. Kasshu's own grave. Domon is there now alogn with Dr. Kasshu, praying for all the lives lost on behalf of the Gundam Fight, and I knwo he's waiting for me...
Father, I'll finish this now. I'll put this letter in its envelope, then place it among the gardenia flowers of the bouquet that rests on my lap - which will soon be on your gravestone. Gardenia, your favourite flowers. They're white, so pure and pretty, and their meaning is related to 'secret love'... like the one that slowly grew between Domon and me, and was only revealed in the end.
You died with your heart filled with guilt, sadness and regrets. May your afterlife be full of the peace you couldn't reach... and I hope we (this meaning you, my Mother, I, Domon, and the Kasshus) can meet in a future life, and live as peacefully as we couldn't. And yes, I would love to be re-born as your daughter again, to be able to spend all the time with you...
I'll try to remember you as the kind, talented, wonderful Father I lived with until the Gundam Fight, and this will be the image of you that will pass on to my and Domon's future children. That way, it would be like you never really died... because we only really die when we're forgotten.
See you in our next lives, Father...
No, Papa.
From your former little girl,
Rain Mikamura.