Chap 2

Rain pours on a lost soul walking through the night

All that it feels is pain and loss

The rain stops and the moon shines upon the lost soul

It begins to find a bit of itself within the light

A cloud covers the moon making shadows embrace the soul

The soul shivers within the cold hands of shadow

It begins to feel empty again

The wind picks up and the air grows colder

The rain begins to sprinkle

The soul battles to keep aware but slowly loses

The rain pours on the poor lost soul walking through the night
Beth Brownell

A large eagle owl delivers a letter to the manor house Draco Malfoy shares with his companion Oliver Wood, Draco steeling himself, takes the letter to his favourite window seat, breaks the seal on it and starts to read the returned letter from his lost love Harry Potter

Hi Dray,
Your letter took me rather by surprise, for years I had waited and hoped that you would contact me.
My guilt at letting you down and allowing my destiny to beat Voldemort and save the world, to come before my destiny to be with you and save myself prevented me from taking the first step.

It was years before I looked at myself in the mirror again, another few years to get over the curse of breaking so many of them. All I ever saw when I looked at myself was the face of a murderer, the face that allowed my heart, my life my love, you, to fall and for our baby to be no more.

I didn't blame you your pain, I deserved it. My soul escaped me the day you said you hated me, tears that would be shed could not, my shattered emotions didn't have the power to fuel them.
Sleep became a long distant memory of mine. The loss I felt in our bed without you, forced me to spend night's week's years curled up in front of the fire. Our bed still has the same sheets on it as that day you walked out of my life, the day you broke my heart.

I remember the day I taught you how to really laugh, how you were scared someone would see you, somebody would see the Ice Prince melt. It was joy to melt you and joyous to reap the rewards. You laughed so much with me until that war started, I hated myself my role and what it did to your beautiful smile, how could I not give my life to give you back the treasure of my memories. The monster that war created died along with my son; I care not for others opinions of the boy who lived, when his son died in the arms of his life, that boy died along with him. The only battle I would ever entertain now would be for your love.

I have always known that Oliver was a good man, although I have to admit i been jealous that he has had your company not I, these last ten years. But I have known in my heart that he didn't hold the strings to yours; you never were one to make a habit of saying something for the sake of it.
When you told me that you loved me. I knew that it was forever, that your soul was speaking not just your words, as much as my heart broke when you told me that you hated me, told me that you blamed me for the loss of our son, blamed me for tearing your world apart, blamed me….

I understood.

I understood that it was your pain unleashing its wrath, it was your right. I prayed every night 'til the words seemed to speak on their own that you would come back to me, in some part, in some way. Ten years goes remarkably slowly when you are lonely and hoping, I withdrew into myself, friends I had had, quickly forgot my pain, that I was hurting, that it wasn't only you that was hurting. Quickly they moved on, got on with their own lives, I could not.
When I look back and view the emptiness I have felt these past ten years, I feel like I have been cheated of a third of my life. That I was robbed. Robbed of your love, desperate for your warmth, your strength, and your touch your kiss.

I was so empty without you and my son that I found changing my outlook on life to one of empty vision was the only way I can get through my days. I was residing in the morbid comforts of the past even taking comfort in the vision I witnessed as we lowered our boy into the ground, our son. You named him Cain, even in your pain you wanted your son to know he was the son of a warrior, it was the single most selfless thing you ever did my love. These visions like all visions of you I would cling to, they were the only things that kept me anchored and sane in this reality.

I was always one to dwell far too much in the past. But residence there carries a high price, and I couldn't afford to pay it anymore. It hurt too much and I have had to give up my hate for my self and my crimes, the biggest crime of all was allowing you to leave me, allowing our baby to never see his daddy, allowing our family to split. I too have used all my anger; I have come to terms with our loss, though I will never stop feeling the emptiness of it.

I am just a fool who has always been in love with you, funny when you say I am the fuel you need.
I am scared to fuck up again, scared that I may hurt you all over again, and scared that you will regret still being in love with me. Draco I'm so fucking scared.

I feel like I did when I was just about to kiss you for the first time, the butterflies in my stomach seem to have morphed into dragons, quite fitting really. I feel like I did on our first date, I was shivering with the cold clinging on to a single white rose, it was to symbolise the love I knew would grow in my heart for you, I stood out side your door waiting for you to come to me.

This time I bring with me, three roses, one is for our past and how we will never be able to change it. One is for Cain and the love we will never allow to lessen in our hearts for him.
And one is for the future, in the hope that you will come back to me and be mine again. My life could only have meaning when you are in it.

I need you Draco.

I don't want to look at anybody else but you,
I don't want to talk to anybody else but you,
and I don't want to love anybody else but you,

I stand again outside your door, waiting.

Draco open the door and come outside to me,

I love you

Harry.