Chapter 11

Dawn of realizations

The lock began to move on the door; Erik had to get back into the cupboard quick, before they caught him there with her. He rose from the bed, settled the sheets back, and returned to the cupboard.

The door opened, Madame came in with a tray of bisque for Christine, or Madeline as she knew her, as well as tea, and a new basin of water. She then placed a strip of cloth over her mouth, stupid woman. Insinuating that such a wonderful gift from God himself could possibly cause anyone else illness. Erik retained control and remained in hiding, though he really wanted to shoo the woman out and tend to Christine himself. This was torture, he needed to control the situation, so he thought fast, that was it;

"Madame, leave her, I, her angel, shall tend to her needs, save yourself and your family, ask no questions. Just leave her trays outside her door, tell no one and you shall all be safe, speak a word of this and you shall not see sunset."

Madame nearly dropped the tray she was bringing to Christine's bedside; she placed it on the end of the nightstand and stood up. Looking around, she lost all color, she saw no one, and since Erik was so good at throwing his voice, she could not tell where the voice was coming from. It seemed to be all around her. She was very frightened, this child had to go as soon as she was well enough to travel, she was destroying Madame's life, she feared for her life. She responded to the voice; "Oui, Monsieur, Revenant? Plaire, do not hurt me or my family, plaire, plaire, Revenant? I beg of you…"

"Do as I command and you shall have no ill fortune, disobey me and it shall be your peril. This child is blessed; she is not to be troubled in her convalescence. She shall be left alone."

"Oui, Monsieur Revenant, I shall keep her undisturbed. Merci, merci."

"Remember, tell no one, or there shall be no more sunsets for you or your family."

With that Madame was gone, leaving the bisque and the tea for Erik to feed Christine. He was so glad that the Madame was superstitious. That would play in their favor. When the door closed and was re-locked by Madame, Erik quietly descended from the cupboard once more. He moved back to Christine's bedside, gazing at her with such concern, she felt it without him touching her, she came around. "Erik, my love, where have you been? I heard voices, I heard you in my head but I could not open my eyes. I am losing my mind, aren't I? It frightens me so, what is wrong with me. I keep getting transported back and fourth through time and space, it seems. I am not sure where reality is anymore. Help me see, please?"

"Christine, it is the illness, there is nothing more I can do then to hold you and feed you for now. I will give you more of the potion I mixed for you later this evening, meantime, you must build your strength, eating and resting are the only things that can do that." With that Erik sat next to her and grabbed the bowl of bisque, it was thin and watery, just what she needed. He patiently, lovingly fed this to her. She ate most of it, though it took a great deal of time to do so. They didn't speak at all, there were no words for what they were feeling at that time. The air was thick with the feelings they were feeling for each other, the remorse Erik felt for placing her in this situation, and the stress they had yet to endure when she was strong enough.

"Erik, might you help me try to stand for just a moment?"

"No, Christine, maybe tomorrow, but your fever still rages through your body and we cannot put undue stress on you right now. Here, lay back and I shall sponge your hot body off, try to cool you down a bit." Erik rose and went to the basin, where Madame had left the refreshed water before she was scared away. He smiled at how easy it was to scare her, rather like the chorus girls and ballet dancers. Good to know he still had that power. When he turned with the basin he caught his breath, Christine had taken her top down, dangerously low, and a sudden spike of longing hit him deep within, knocking him off guard.

All he had felt for the past day had been worry and fear, now he had replaced that with a terrible longing deep within, to feel her, consume her, God could he never get enough? He was tormented with this longing and needed to push it far away for the foreseeable future. He had more important concerns than to listen to his animalistic thoughts, but God, she could do it to him as no one else ever could. He had gone to the ballerina's dressing rooms and saw the other girls naked before, they were so silly and flighty that their bodies represented loathing and anger for him, not so Christine, he saw her soul, it made her body beautiful.

Perfect in every way, no matter what. He had to control this, now. No, now she looked at him with those large eyes, the fever causing them to gleam with an innocence that he found unbearable. He wanted to shrivel up and die, he knew he was low to feel this way when her very life was in his hands. He would not do anything to let her know of his longing, so he pretended that he needed to wring out the sponge, turning back around and setting the basin down, he picked up the sponge and wrung it so tight it almost broke in two.

There, now he had control, he turned back around, concentrating on the basin all the way to her side. He set it down on the nightstand the tea and bowl had been on, and once more wrung the sponge out. Christine watched him the whole time, glad that she had remained lucid long enough to enjoy this power she felt over him for a change. She believed that maybe there would be a tomorrow, and maybe soon they could be together again. She longed for him as much as he did her, but knew there was no way she could survive that right now. Even a kiss would do her in, so they both sat in wounded silence, controlling their imaginations while Erik cooled her head and chest with the sponge.

Finally when he could stand it no more, he placed the sponge back into the basin and excused himself, he walked over to the window and gazed out. He took several deep breaths, calming himself, he could do this, she depended on him.

"Erik," Christine said weakly, "are you alright? Did I anger you?"

"No, Christine." Erik spoke with a husky voice, she mistook for annoyance, she silently drew in her breath. Erik felt bad for being so brisk and he spoke softer when he said; "When you bring your shirt down like that it is almost unbearable for one whom loves you so much. You are ill and I am unable to control my concern and love for you while you are so vulnerable. Yet my love always courses through my body and when you look so unbelievably fragile and ethereal like you do, I want to give into my desires, and I am ashamed of that."

"I am sorry Erik; I didn't think of that when I loosed my top, I shall bring it to a modest level, if that will help you, my love."

"Thank you Christine, it shall do much to ease my burden for now."

He sat back down and resumed sponging off her face gently and lovingly, he then traveled down her neck, around the back of her hair, she closed her eyes, her breathing becoming deep and steady, contrary to his, which was becoming more shallow and labored, he was not going to be able to do this right now. She had fallen into peaceful sleep through his ministering, so he could walk away and once again regain his composure.

Christine went back into that strange world half reality, half fantasy. Her father was sponging her fever away as a child, she was listening to him play his violin, dreaming of her stories, there was Raoul, he was being cruel, taunting her for leaving him. He was holding something, Oh my God, he was holding the mask Erik was wearing, Erik's head was with it. She screamed and woke. She sat straight up in the bed, it was dark, she had slept the day away, she groped in the darkness for Erik, she didn't feel him, she could not see, the moon was obscured by clouds; she was frantic to find Erik. She screamed his name "Erik, Erik, Where are you, I can't see you, I can't feel you, Erik, where are you?"

Erik came over to her immediately, he had been watching her in the dark, his eyes accustomed to seeing in little light, and he got up when she sat up. Her panic kept her from feeling his hands on her arms. She finally came around enough to see his face inches from hers. She drew forward and kissed him softly, he tasted the salt of her tears. He also noticed that the fever was very subtle now, perhaps almost gone, already. That medicine the gypsies made was miraculous. Suddenly all the pain he suffered as a child at their hands was worth it cause it saved his love now. Pulling slightly away, Erik looked at her wide open tear filled eyes. "What is it Christine?"

"Oh Erik, please tell me that I am better, I cannot stand these terrible dreams anymore. I saw Raoul, standing there holding your head, your head, Erik, he had killed you and taken your head to show me. I was so horrified, I woke. When you were not there I panicked, when I saw you all I could do is kiss you and make sure that you were not that disembodied head. You are real; I think that maybe I am getting better now."

"Well, if that kiss was any indicator, I would say definitely."

"Oh God, Erik, how did you do it, I heard somewhere in the haze of the day typhoid fever, I though I would die, and you cured me didn't you? How did you do it?"

"The time I spent with the gypsies, they used many herbs, roots and other items to make salves and potions for all the illnesses they encountered during their travels. I paid attention to what they were doing and what they used for what, and came up with my own cures for some of these things myself. It is with gratitude I now look at my time as the caged animal, it saved my love; it was not simply for the cruelty of it any longer. I think I may be regaining my faith in God through this. You would be the thing that brings me back to my religion, would you not? My angel, you truly are my angel, you saved me, Christine. You made me human, thank you my love."

"Erik, I must get out of this bed, I cannot stand to be still, please would you help me?"

"Christine, if you get out of bed too quickly, you risk a relapse, and I cannot promise you that I will be able to help you then. I will hold you up and let you walk around the room, perhaps sit on the chair for a bit, but you are not going to get dressed and you are not leaving this room for any reason, agreed?"

"Very well, Erik, I defer to your experience. Now, help me up, please?"

Christine very slowly sat up, with Erik's arms behind her guiding her upright. She stayed that way for a few moments at Erik's instance, before moving to the side of the bed and placing her legs over the edge. Erik said "Wait there, I will get you something for your feet, this floor is cold and you don't need a chill."

Shaking her head, Christine patiently waited while Erik found her shoes, slipping them on her he allowed her to place her feet to the floor. That done, all that was left was him helping her to her feet. He hoped that she had the strength to bear weight on them still. She slowly rose to her feet, leaning heavily upon Erik's strong arms. She wavered several times and just when Erik was ready to tell her it was too soon, she should rest, she found her strength and rose to her feet. She immediately leaned into him, hugging him with all the strength she could muster. The overwhelming love she felt for him had to spill out somehow, this was the only way she knew how. She also felt gratitude for his great patience with her today. She could not believe she came back as far as she had in one day, she knew with increasing certainty that were it not for Erik, she would not have made it through the day today, much less be here now, standing here hugging him. He slowly walked her over to the window; he wanted her to see the beautiful night that had blossomed for them. There were soft snowflakes falling, and the sky had grown bright with the snow swirling around to the earth below. They stood there for a few moments and her legs faltered, he gathered her up in his arms and she held him around the neck, looking out the window for some time more.

Their reverie was broken by a knock at the door. It seemed that the Madame was coming for the tray, she announced herself to no body in particular, save to say, "I am here to get the tray and replace the meal with fresh food, Monsieur Revenant, if it pleases you? I have told all to leave Madeline alone, and have sent the aide Docteur sent over away telling her Madeline was being tended to by her own angel. She left in a huff and stated that the Docteur would still be getting a bill for her day, since she had wasted her time coming here for nothing. Shall I come and get the tray, or shall I merely leave this one and come in the morning for both of the trays?"

"Come in the morning, I shall tend to the child through the night tonight, you can check in on her with prior announcement tomorrow morning."

"Oui, Monsieur Revenant, I shall do as you command, and merci!"

"Bon noir, Madame, adieu…"

"Adieu, Monsieur Revenant!"

With that Madame left hastily. They could hear her footsteps in the hall. They were alone again. They continued to daze out the window, both lost in thought for some time, when Erik could bear her weight no more he slowly brought her back to the bed. She was reluctant to let him go, but she knew she must, she needed her strength, and his as well for she could not use his up; she would not know how to save him if he got sick, so she had to show compassion the same as he did for her. He went to the door then and got the tray, replacing it with the other one from earlier in the day. This arrangement worked well. Thank God Madame was easy to frighten. They should be alright if she remained frightened. She brought a potage this time, rather than a bisque; it was more watery and had vegetables and chicken in it. This would be very good for Christine. He was grateful for how kind Madame was; he felt a pang of guilt at frightening her as he had now. Christine would smooth it over when she was well, he was sure of that.

"Ah, something new for you, Mademoiselle Madeline…" Erik said mockingly to Christine as he brought the food over to her bedside. She went to reach for it, and he said; "No, my dear, I shall feed you, we can't have you getting yourself messy, my poor body could not take having to see you naked and not do anything about it. Take care, therefore, my love, to keep yourself presentable for me, ok?"

Christine smiled a weak, but wicked smile, and said; "I shall try my hardest to remain modest and considerate of your driving needs, Monsieur Erik, how selfish of me to tease you in such a manner as I have. I guess I shall have to take care to keep these inside the top where they belong, oui?" She motioned to her chest, with a still more devilish grin upon her face. She knew she was feeling better now, she enjoyed teasing and tormenting him, she knew it was wicked of her, but there was something fun in it too. It released her from the fear of losing him that had lingered from the feverish day she had just completed. He seemed to understand too, for he didn't take it as hard as he had earlier, he almost expected it now and he had regained control of his physical emotions enough now that she did not disturb him as much any more.

After her dinner, Erik took the tray, dutifully out to the hall, returning to her side once more. He resumed the task of laying on the pillows with her laying on his chest, sponging her cooler forehead, while singing softly to her. Tonight it was "No one would listen" at Christine's request. She softly hummed the melody, it felt so good to have their voices merge as one, if they could not be together physically, this was just as good. They both felt the power it gave them to become one through their song. This was their unique magic; nothing would ever take that away from them. Erik was so grateful to have her still with him through all that she suffered today; all he could do was to thank God for allowing her to stay here on earth by him.

Erik actually fell asleep tonight, with the feel of Christine's warm breath on his bare chest, he felt the regular tempo of her breathing rise and fall, slowly becoming slower and deeper as she fell soundlessly to sleep. He soon was sleeping as well.