I Dream of Naruto
Written by: Mrs. Roy Mustang
Written on: MissingninChild's computer… - and typed by her…
Disclaimer- I have no idea what to write here…sooooo…I don't own Naruto, or what you're about to read would've happened for the whole series…
P.S. This story is based on a weird dream I had…though not as strange as MissingninChild's dream about Naruto being naked…and it just had to be the first person ever to be naked…noooo, couldn't it have been like Orlando Bloom or someone like that…even though she loves Naru-chan to death…lierally or not, you pick.
Jiraiya is standing in a forest. He's staring at something.
Naruto walks up behind him. He says,
"Jiraiya-sensei," He pauses, "What are you looking at?"
Jiraiya continued to stare.
Naruto thought, 'I know how to fix this!'
Naruto disappeared for about a couple of minuets and returned with Tsunade.
Naruto said to her, " Tsunade-baachan, I need you to stand right in front of Jiraiya-sama."
Tsunade stood in front of Jiraiya-sama and Naruto pushed Jiraiya-sama's head right into Tsunade's boobs. Jiraiya then awoke from his daze, smiling and drooling. Tsunade hit Jiraiya, and then Naruto asked Jiraiya,
"Jiraiya-sama, what were you looking at?"
Jiraiya-sama got up and pointed off into the distance and said, "Kakashi's not moving."
So Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Naruto went off to find Kakashi. When they got to Kakashi he was staring off into the distance.
And then, Naruto asked, "Kakashi-sensei, why aren't you moving?"
Kakashi pointed and said, "Gaara's not moving."
So Kakashi, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Naruto went off to find Gaara.
When they found Gaara, he was staring off into the distance.
Everybody asked Gaara, "Why aren't you moving Gaara?"
Gaara pointed and said, "Orochimaru isn't moving."
So Gaara, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Naruto went off to find Orochimaru.
When they got to Orochimaru…guess what he was doing…now come on, the past four people have been doing the same freaking thing!
Putting his hand into a waffle iron? Gosh dangit you're an idiot! No you baka, he was staring into the freaking distance!
Everybody asked Orochimaru, "Did you have sexual relations with numerous young boys?"
Orochimaru stayed silent, "…maybe…"
(Authoress: GET IT RIGHT YOU IDIOTS OR RABID FLYING NINJA MONKEYS WILL THROW POO AT YOU!)
Back to what had happened before…
Everybody asked Orochimaru, "Why aren't you moving Orochimaru?"
Orochimaru replied, "Itachi's not moving."
So…Orochimaru, Gaara, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Naruto set off to find Itachi.
When they got to Itachi he was staring off into the distance…gee, let's see here…are they in a circle or something cause I mean, to set off seems like a long journey…wouldn't they meet up somewhere…IS THIS SOME VISHOUS CYCLE! (A/N: …I think MnC has Jedi powers…I would've never written this part on my free will…aaaaaahhhhhh! A gay Jedi! MnC: I'm not gay you idiot! A/N: Then what are you? MnC: Me?…I'm undecided. (Grins at readers) A/N: (bangs head on keyboard)).
Back to the story…ahem…
When they got to Itachi, he was staring off into the distance in which someone else is in and everyone's going to ask.
"Itachi why aren't you moving?"
And he'll cleverly reply,
"Sakura's not moving."
GOD! Ayusa (Mrs. Roy Mustang's nickname.), you have such crappy dreams! Go to some classes, I can't take typing for you anymore jeeze! God, I'm going freaking crazy!
(A/n: Don't worry it get's better!)
Grr…so what did everybody do? Easy they opened up a casino and everyone was very happy indeed. The end.
(A/n: KOHAKU (One of my many nicknames.)!)
-Sticks out her tongue-
Fine…anyways they set off to wherever Sakura was…wherever the hell that was…I don't know…a forest or something…Oh I know, the Lebrea (or something like that) Tar Pits!
When they got there, Sakura, like many idiots before her, was staring off into the distance…oh god how many more people are there?
(A/n: About one more.)
Thank you god!
(A/n: Maybe…)
GOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(A/n: The faster you type, the faster we'll get done.)
Everybody asks, "Sakura, why aren't you moving?"
Sakura replied as she pointed, down… "I'm sinking, I want to live with the mastodons and thingies."
(A/n: -hits head against wall repeatedly-)
…Sakura pointed off into the freaking distance and said SUPRISINGLY, "Sasuke's not moving." Thank god.
(A/N: SHUT UP!)
It hurts the authoress! Oh Farfello, where art thou?
…Anyways. They all decided to instead of walking…take the bus…and no I don't care if there wasn't any buses in Naruto…I have to type this crappy dream so I'm going to add whatever the hell I want.
When they got to Sasuke, and paid their fee, they saw Sasuke staring off into the diiiiissssssttttannnnce!
Everybody (Whom up to this point include: Naruto, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Kakashi, Gaara, Orochimaru, Itachi, and Sakura.) asked him the million dollar question, "Why aren't you moving Sasuke?"
And Sasuke replied, "Where the hell is my million dollars?"
Up your ass now answer what you did in Ayusa's crappy dream.
He growled, "See for yourself."
So everybody went off to find what Sasuke was looking at…on the way Orochimaru was bitten by beaver and it tore whatever resembled as a nipple…off (if you watched something with Jeff Foxworthy on it (I don't remember what.), least I think it was him…you'll get this.).
When they finally got there, they finally looked at what Sasuke (Who didn't go with them…originally I was going to have him mauled to death by the Happy Tree Friends…but Ayusa said he didn't go with them…party pooper.) had been staring at.
And it was……(Building up tension…weeeee…so fun…good god I should be paid for this…)
A NAKED NARUTO ON A BILLBOARD!
Sakura asked, "Where are Sasuke and Naruto?"
Wait I thought Sasuke didn't go with them?
(A/n: He didn't, but they don't know that!)
How the hell can't they notice that someone wasn't with them?
(A/n: Plot holes, now shut up!)
So Sakura went off to find Sasuke and Naruto. Meanwhile….
Back with Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke was playing 'doctor' with Naruto on a bed at the side of a cliff…what the hell!
(A/n: JUST TYPE!)
Sakura finally found Sasuke and Naruto. But she found them at a…ahem…how should I put this…inappropriate time.
(A/n: Don't mock me!)
But that's what you said!
(A/n: …)
Sakura couldn't take it so she jumped off the cliff…YOU KILLED SAKURA! HOW COULD YOU, YOUR DREAMS SUCK!
(A/n: She comes back to life!)
You dream like a Mary Sue.
(A/n: A what?)
Nothing, so what she jumps off, comes back to life, now what?
(A/n: She doesn't come back to life just yet…)
So basically we just gave away a spoiler?
(A/n: No, cause you don't know what she does when she comes back to life.)
Argh…just tell me what to type.
Sasuke and Naruto finished playing 'doctor'. And in three days they had a wedding…rushing into it is not a good thing, but hey a wedding, yay! Throw rice so birds will eat it and blow up, yay!
(A/n: Just keep typing!)
The priest says, "Speak now or forever hold your peace"…which means this is a western wedding…ooooooooo…who's in the gown…I pick Naruto!
Nobody raises their hand…or stands for that matter because this is a wedding not school. Though to Ayusa, same difference.
The priest says, "By the power invested in me I know pronounce you man and…er…uke?"
"You may now kiss the…bride…whatever…Tahiti here I come!"
Sasuke kisses Naruto…no duh…wait, they screw right in front of everyone…
(A/n: How the hell did you know?)
………WHERE THE HELL WAS MY INVITAION!
(A/n: I'm kidding…)
…ass…
Sakura came back to life and opened the church doors, colliding with the priest. Getting a lure nose ring in the process.
(A/n: No.)
Fine, she opened the church doors and saw Sasuke kissing Naruto. She couldn't take that anymore, and she ran back to the cliff and jumped off again…STOP KILLING HER!
(A/n: …No.)
Then Sasuke and Naruto lived happily ever after…which is so overrated! Girls, you don't' always need a prince to make your dreams come true! But if you do, good for you and a happy life to you both!
(A/n: Hey you didn't let me finish.)
Fine, what is it? Jiraiya was the…PRIEST!
(A/n: The end.)
What kind of crap ending was that! I say that everyone took their million dollars and opened a casino, Sakura was alive and married both Ino and Lee…there a happy ending for all!
(A/n: Don't change it!)
Too late!
MnC: It's over! Free at last!
M.RM (Mrs. Roy Mustang):…you're a, a…butt muncher.
MnC: Sorry I could never eat you.
M.RM:…Read and Review…
MnC: If your not turned away from the beginning…and I take it back…
M.RM: What?
MnC: It's only half crap.
M.RM: Thanks.
MnC: The half you came up with!
M.RM: HEY!
MnC: Sorry, sorry, couldn't resist.