Chapter 23

The darkness of black despair!

"Nothing can save you now. You are going to die the death of betrayal. You loved me and then you left me for him? How could you do this? Christine you wore my ring, MY ring created for you with the depth of my feelings for you, I did nothing but love you and live for you. You made me human, took away the insanity of 'Phantom' from my soul and now you throw it all back at me without a thought as to what you are doing." Suddenly he saw...

There was a mirror over from the bed, as he went over to it and gazed into it with tormented eyes the face he saw gazing back at him in utter despair and pain was not his. It was Raoul, hideously deformed, features flowing into one another with the realization that the roles had been somehow reversed. There was no pain in Erik, he was the arrogant Vicomte and he was whole, though he looked yet like himself, just without the deformity that cursed him all these years. Christine came to him then and Raoul tried to come after them, Erik ran his sword through Raoul when he descended upon them ready to impale them both with a pair of swords, one in each hand. Raoul crumpled to the floor, his blood flowing everywhere…Gasping for air, he was now drowning in a lake full of blood. He cried for help, but no body listened. Erik and Christine just watched, no expression of any kind upon their faces, they had nothing to say.

Erik woke with a start. He was breathing heavily, and winced in pain as the reality of his broken rib brought him sharply into consciousness. He turned to look at Christine, she was sitting up in bed, and she had the water by the bed and a cloth in her hands. The shirt he had given her yesterday on her, she had it partially open and he could see the soft curve of her flesh. He suddenly felt very intoxicated by her proximity. The look she gave him when she startled slightly realizing he had woken up. "I was planning to soothe some of your wounds and examine your injuries while you slept peacefully." He looked at her rather mystified as he realized what she was doing. Then he lay back down with her guidance, along side of her. He reached for her and bid her lay along side him in the bed with the damp cloth to soothe his face, neck and chest. With this simple cloth and water, she was doing things to his body that no one had ever even given thought to do to him. God it felt good.

He grew interest where it was not welcomed at this point, as that physical activity would be so difficult with their injuries. He had to consider her delicate body, so tortured but a day ago. Still, she was arousing every nerve ending he had and they were not protesting thus far. Surely she was too sore to enjoy entertaining thoughts of that nature, no? He laid still closing his eyes to hide how deeply aroused he was so she would not see what she was doing to him and stop, not yet it felt too good. This was simply the most satisfying feeling he could expect for now. He would have to return this sensation when he ministered to her bruised body himself. The cloth was so soothing; it made him feel whole, unscarred. Suddenly he returned to realization with a start. The dream he'd just had was disconcerting to his reality. Christine made him whole, which was how he felt, whole; he had to stop this now. The truth was still there, he was scarred; there was no way he could change that. The truth was that Christine loved him and his imperfections were a part of who she loved. He knew not how, but it was so. He was, in fact, very happy he was not Raoul; she was not with him now, was she?

"What is it, Erik, what is the matter? Don't you enjoy this? Have I hurt you? Your rib, is it ok? I wanted to see your wounds myself and help you with them. You should have told ME of them, not Mme Giry. I would have gladly helped you, my love." She gently traced feather light kisses on them, moving to position her head carefully over his body to do so.

"You risked your very life for me yesterday" he gasped, pausing to take a ragged breath and beat down the arousal that was stirring in him as a result of her velvet lips on his body. God he wanted her, even if he was in pain. The pleasure she was sparking was near the point of ignition. He had to concentrate… in a low voice drenched in desire he tried to maintain sanity; "I didn't want you to know that they had been so violent; I didn't want you to feel you had wasted your sacrifice or cheapen your generous offer made for me. It did save my life, just not the way you meant it to, you allowed others to see your feelings for me. That is why I didn't want you to know the extent of my injuries."

"Well you were incorrect 'Monsieur Angel', I would definitely want to know what those hideous animals did to you, there was no way to control what they did and I merely tried to keep sense of purpose to save our lives. I was not sure who they really wanted. I just wanted us to together no matter what." A defiant tear escaped her then.

Erik was totally captivated by her passion, the emotions Christine held for him, they mirrored his own and could it really be possible? Once again, he was not perfect, he was not Raoul how could she love him so? He still could hardly believe it, he was so blessed. "Thank you again, 'Mon Amour'." Erik muttered gutturally, afraid to say more, apprehensive of showing his desperate need for her.

Christine looked at him troubled, "Why thank me? My reasons are purely mercenary; I want you to myself, forever. I will do all I can to that end."

That was it, all it took, she was lying there once more with simply his shirt on, he was well, shall we say less than decent in his total lack of attire save his black velvet robe now missing its tie. They were waiting for this to happen, the passion play repeated in their very nature towards one another. They kissed slowly first, then deeply and passionately, having played this passion game for some time this morning, they could take this no more. He was totally lost in his thirst for her. He had to be watchful how he moved with her, but he felt sure they would manage just fine. His rib was not sore in the least right now, the need he had taking all other sensations away for now. They had an evening to rest some of the worst pain away; they would manage with the bit of pain that remained. He lifted himself moving gently to grasp her and they were lost in their love, consummating their engagement with tenderness and compassion. He kissed all her pain away and gently loved her the way she deserved to be. Worshipped, his angel an eternity was not nearly long enough time for them to be together. This surely was heaven and he was bathed in Gods blessings.

"Raoul, I don't care who you think is where, I am not going down to that menacing hell hole for you ever again. That damned lake just about drown me. Mme Giry saved me, were she not there I would be gone and you would not even know where to find me. Though I never would have thought that Madame Giry had that kind of strength; to pull me from the water, amazing. Still…."

Sitting up in bed he was looking at Phillippe with wide eyed indifference as to the danger he was in. Too preoccupied in his mind to even give what Phillippe was saying credence. He answered; "Use the boat next time. That is what it is there for." Raoul was busy trying to reason what happened last night to him. Was the phantom dead and visiting him as a ghost, or was he alive and trying to scare him away? He could not figure out what had happened. He had to get his strength back and try to see for himself. This was becoming ridiculous.

Phillippe had taken enough. He could not do this anymore. He grabbed his riding coat and crop and left the house. He left Raoul alone. That was the last mistake he could afford to make.

Raoul got dressed as quickly as his physical state would allow him to. He had to start and stop several times, but he eventually made it through the trial of getting dressed. Now he had to try to get to his horse and he would be alright. He had to find them. He was sure they were around. As he got ready to leave he went over to his water glass and took a drink. He had to have something to strengthen him, a glass of water and he would see if there were some scraps of something in the kitchen to eat. He drank the water down and immediately he had to go back to the bed. He felt violently ill, must have been his stomach rebelling at having something in it after so long. When he was weak from losing the water he had just drank, he sunk back in the bed, utterly spent from the efforts he had just put forth in vain. He would never find anything. He should at least hear from the gypsies he had hired to watch the lake. Come to think about it, Phillippe should have been rescued by them, they were supposed to keep watch, something was not right. Then he began to think about Christine and Erik again. The split began there; it was anguish so complete that it left no room for him to reason anything else now. He let out an anguished cry and drifted off into a very disturbed slumber.

"Raoul, I am here, with my angel of music.

God took me from your world gave me to him.
I sing for love of him as you know I can.

Little Lottie was yours, Christine is his

I live with him now, abandon thought of me

They are not meant to be.

"Christine, come to me, come back, No, come back…"

Find love in another with hair so fair

Your heart will lie happy with her there.

You are in hers already awaiting your name

Enough of this dangerous stalking game

There is always one love beating for us all

Don't wait for the wrong love, you're destined to fall."

Christine turned and began to leave the room, The Phantom entered. Christine said to The Phantom; "Erik, My love." She stroked his cheek and walked out.

"You, not you, how dare you come to me, what is this madness? I shall kill you when I catch you. Where do you have her, she was not really the one talking, there is no way that she would want to stay with you. Your horrid scarred face, it would make Satan himself scared. I shall cut your miserable head off when I find you. You can not hide."

"Cease this manhunt for those who do not wish to be found.

There is death awaiting thee if you don't heed my word

Don't waste more time on this folly you have spread around.

This illness brings madness to thee

Nobody will listen for this they do see.

Stop bothering the deities and live your life here.

You might see what you most fear

It lies through your mirror, it always shall be

Your cost should you pursue this

A swift and deadly fee.

Heed what I say but once for you

Be wary your next step,

Or your life shall be through!"

The Phantom then left a dead rose behind on the bureau and whooshed out of the room.

Raoul was startled when he realized his eyes were open. He tried to move but was unable to. He could not talk or navigate, he was still and his mind would not react to any command he tried to make upon himself. He had tried and tried to get up when they were talking to him, he could not move. It was too much. He just closed his eyes and returned to what he hoped would be a dreamless slumber of exhaustion.

"Docteur, I must speak with you. It is important. Raoul has been ranting and raving like a lunatic. I ask him questions and he looks at me with a vacant stare, answering with disjointed thoughts. It is growing difficult to do anything at this point, as he does not always stay in bed. He will seem to be very weak, then I shall leave the room and he will try to dress. Last time he tried to he has passed out, dead away to awaken with Christine's name on his lips. He has gotten progressively worse since the fever had taken hold for so long unending."

"Let me come with you to visit Raoul, we shall see if there is hope of a return to rationality here sometime in the future. May be he just needs a sanitarium for a short time? Sometimes people recover. They are often times not quite the same, but they recover."

Phillippe and the Docteur rode back to de Chagny manor. Phillippe went to the front door and unlocked it rather unceremoniously, embarrassed he explained that the help had quit and left when he brought Raoul back with the fever. He had to lock the door to keep Raoul in and looters out.

They entered the foyer and Phillippe took the Docteur's coat. He hung it with his on the coat rack and they ascended the stairs to Raoul's room. When they arrived they found Raoul restless, thrashing about yelling "No, No. You are not… NO! Damn you Christine, you know that you love me! Get away from that man. He is not an angel; you are not dead, for if you are, he is the devil, not an angel….NO!"

Phillippe reached for Raoul and upon feeling his touch Raoul awoke. "What is going on Raoul? I am fed up with this game. You wake up and get over this, once and for all." Phillippe took the cloth in the bowl of water, rung it out and threw it in his face. Raoul jumped and removed the cloth, disorientated with the whole reason for this reaction. Phillippe was so fed up. He called the docteur in then.

"Good morning Raoul, how are you today? I hear that you are still experiencing delirium, is that so? Let me see how you are doing."

"There is nothing wrong with me; I am just a thwarted lover, looking for his lost love. What would you do, tell me docteur, if your affianced became another mans obsession, his whore? Then she dares to lead you on. I love her, I need her. It is unbearable without her. Why did she do it? Oh docteur. I have to have Christine, she is my life. I am so sure she was taken by the phantom. She called him Erik. Why did she leave with him, I will kill her for betraying me. I can't believe that lying wench. I gave her everything and she skulks off on me, ME the Vicomte de Chagny. I don't know what to do to get her back. This is the most impossible situation. We have to get her back from the phantom. I must get help to go find them. They are in the Populaire, I am sure of that now."

Phillippe spoke up then, nearing the end of his patience. "Raoul, I was just there last night, there was nobody there. You are not going back there. I'm not going back there. Nothing is there; listen to me Raoul, there is truly nothing there but death."

Just then the docteur proclaimed that he was going to the kitchen to get something for Raoul to eat. He needed that at least.

"Raoul, you really have no idea what you are doing, do you? I don't want to put you in an asylum, but you are hell bent on insisting that they are alive, next you will tell me they are coming to get you or something."

The docteur went down to the kitchen and looked for something to bring up to Raoul. He found some crusty bread, cheese and sausage. He put water in a kettle and set it on the aggie to boil. He had to get something in that boy and quick. He was breaking from this world constantly. He was not feverish yet so it had to be madness. He would have to talk to Phillippe. After filling a tray with the food and tea for Raoul, he returned up the stairs to take the tray to him. As he was getting ready to go in, Phillippe came out the door nearly knocking the tray out of his hands.

"Apologies, docteur, I am just a bit unsettled by the turn of events with Raoul.

I must speak with you when you are done bringing the tray in to him. I doubt he shall eat it, but it is worth a try."

"I shall see if I can talk any sense in the boy, then we shall go down stairs and talk."

"Very well, I shall retire to the sitting room and meet you there presently."

With that Phillippe was gone and the docteur entered the bedroom with Raoul's food. "Monsieur de Chagny, I wish to present some food to you. I hope you shall partake and that you shall find it most satisfactory." With that he was gone. He could see that Raoul was deep in concentration at the time, it was no use bothering him now. There would be time to feed him soon enough.

Docteur returned to the sitting room by Phillippe. He was not too optimistic about the chances of Raoul staying out of the Asylum, the Toussin. He knew that it was not where nobility should end up, but there was little choice, it was all they had left to them. Phillippe had told him that Raoul had no regard for the fact that Phillippe had nearly drowned the night before trying to find something out about Christine for him. Further, he had threatened murder, which would be worse for the de Chagny name then mere hospitalization would. Who would blame a man going out of his mind with grief when he loses his affianced? It would not bode badly in court next season. They would mourn with him and help him move on. He really had to urge Phillippe to consider this. Raoul was a mess. This would soon drive him dangerously over the edge. Opera ghost scary, hell, this was real and Raoul was acting like a sociopath. It was dangerous to see what that fever did with his grief, how it distorted it and made it ugly. He now spoke of hate, not the love he once proclaimed for Christine.

"Phillippe, I feel we have much to speak of. Sit, please."

"Contraire, you please seat yourself. You forget you are in my home; I shall attend to our needs in the absence of my servants. You care for a brandy, no?"

"Oui, it would not be unwelcome. Now, on to business, Raoul is definitely in a bad way. He is not making sense, he does not seem to want to forget or move on. It would be prudent to allow us some time to try to pick through this insanity and find what is at the root of it. If it is the fever's duration having affected his brain, we may have to keep him hospitalized for quite some time. He is dangerous and delusional."

"Docteur" Phillippe said as he walked over with the brandy snifter he had just filled for his guest, "Raoul claimed to me just now that he had been visited by the opera ghost and Christine while I was out today. He cited a dead red rose on his bureau as the proof. This surely is not good; it was a rose from our dead bouquet on the table in the foyer. I didn't think that Raoul was strong enough to walk around the house yet, but he was obviously doing so while I was gone as it is obvious that no one was here while I was gone. I know that the doors were latched as I didn't want anyone getting in while I was gone."

"I find that prospect rather disconcerting myself. He is just too far gone to trust him here now. It would be prudent to get him to Taussin as soon as possible. I am sorry Phillippe; I know that you wanted to keep him here. But as I was thinking before, what is worse, him being ill after his fever and in Taussin or him doing damage to someone, or worse, murdering someone and hanging for it? There are worse things on a name then temporary insanity, no?"

"I agree there, Docteur, you win, when should I expect you to collect him?"

"We shall gather him as soon as I can get it arranged, sometime this afternoon. I shall come with them to try to keep Raoul subdued. Finish up any arrangements you may need to here, then we shall meet up when we are done. Say 2:30 p.m. today?"

"Oui." Phillippe said quietly, head hanging low. He could not help but feel guilty for this outcome. If only he had not allowed his brother to court Christine. He had heard rumors that she was otherworldly from the other opera wenches; he should have heeded their warnings that the opera ghost was protecting her. If only he had just stopped it before it became his burning desire."

The docteur turned back to the small table which had been holding brandy snifter, he drank it down in one swallow. This was always a hard thing, to have to commit a young vibrant man who had suffered so much already. He really hated this. "Well Phillippe, I fear that I must be going to get this paperwork done for his admission, it is not much, but there needs to be space for him, I may have to get them to move someone, which may take some planning."

"I understand. Now, let me see you to the door." With that Phillippe led the Docteur to the door. As the door was shutting on the retreating figure of the Docteur, he heard Raoul once more. He rolled his eyes and returned to Raoul's bedroom.

At the door, as he was opening it there was a large crash. It was the basin the water was in. Raoul had knocked Phillippe over the head with it. Phillippe fell to the floor unconscious. Raoul stepped around Phillippe and carefully descended the stairs to the foyer. He stumbled to the back doors and out to the fresh early spring air. Taking his first deep breath of air in over a week, he was rejuvenated slightly by it. Unsteady but determined steps took him to the stable where he connected his horse to the small buggy. He needed some comfort and ambiguity as he sought refuge to decide what he was going to do next. The air made him feel heady and he almost fell when he got to the stall where his horse awaited.

Then he knew where he would go next. He knew where he could get information and help with his plan. Of course, it was so simple. Why didn't he think of it sooner? He could force them to do his bidding. This was the answer, so simple, yet he didn't even think of it. He laughed as he mounted the buggy rather staggering and almost falling off the other end of the seat. Suddenly he realized he had not gotten the horse connected to the buggy properly, he laughed again as he got down. This was so agonizing, yet he thought he was doing a pretty fair job of things all things considered.

Finally, somehow, Raoul had gotten the horse connected to the buggy and the rig was ready to go. He sauntered his horse and buggy over to the house Mademoiselle Perralt had given to Erik.