One day at a nuclear reactor.
"Bob, the place is going to blow can't you here the sirens?" Jim the worker asked fearfully.
"Oh it does that all the time, just sit back and eat some crispy cream doughnuts." Bob replied, laying back in his chair shoving a doughnut into his mouth.
"Fine you stay, but I'm out of here!" Jim the worker said as he grabbed his coat and ran out of the building.
15 Minutes Later"Ha, stupid Jim leaving the area! I told him it wouldn't bl-" Bob said being interrupted by a rumbling feeling.
The nuclear had just blown up. Outside there were 53 acorns piled up for some reason. The radiation hit the acorns. Four squirrels came running to that area. Three of them ate one acorn while the forth ate 50 of the acorns. Soon, all the squirrels could talk Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, and English! The forth squirrel turned green but had no other effects.
"Hi guys!" The green squirrel said.
"Whoa! He's green!" Said a black squirrel slowly.
In the middle of the four squirrels conversation a gopher came from the ground. He had over 1,000,000 splinters in him. These splinters were toxic and made it so he could talk Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, English, and German!
"Hi! I'm Master I Have A Splinter!" The gopher said.
"Um, hi! We're nameless!"
"Well luckily I listen to music and know some names. You! Green one are now Jean like Jean Simons from KISS the band not kiss like kiss people!" Master I Have A Splinter said, "And you Black Squirrel shall be Ozzy from Black Sabath because your black and you sound like Ozzy Ouzborne."
"All right! I'm Jean!" Jean the green squirrel said.
"And I'm Ozzy…" Said Ozzy the black squirrel.
"You the lightest brown of the squirrels shall be called Kurt, Kurt Cobain from Nirvana." Master I Have A Splinter said, "And you finally gray squirrel shall be called James, James Hetfield from Metallica!"
"Yeah! We all got names!" Jean enthusiastically said.
So the gopher and four squirrels went into a tree where somehow they got TVs radios potato chips, video games, movies, and a bunch of stuff that just magically appeared in the tree.
"Now all of you must go to the carnival where you will probably get stepped on but what do I care, your not my biological sons." Master I Have A Splinter said pushing the squirrels out of the tree.
"Wow the carnival! Let's go!" The enthusiastic green squirrel, Jean, said.
"Yayy the carnival…" Ozzy said unenthusiastically.
"Who knows, they might have cotton candy." Kurt noted.
"Yeah yeah yeah! I love cotton candy!" Jean yelled rushing to where the carnival was.
At the carnival James bit the ankles of some kid and wakked his acorn sword at the shins of some old man.
"Wow! This is fun!" James said as he stole candy from a baby, "It's like taking candy from a baby!"
"Look I'm super man!" Jean said as he hung on the wheels of a roller coaster.
"Yay, I'm still standing in one spot." Ozzy said lamely.
"Look hotdog stand!" Kurt said rushing towards there.
All of a sudden a paper shredder could be heard. A man with paper shredders for hands came out and said, "I am the Paper Shredder. I shred paper so no one in the world will be able to read the newspaper on the toilet! Ha ha ha ha ha!" The Paper Shredder said, laughing in a high-pitched voice.
"Oh no, I like reading the news paper on the toilet!" Jean yelled as he rushed at the paper shredder with his acorn sword out.
Jean then thrusted his acorn sword into the Paper Shredder's right eye. The other three squirrels joined in too and then a fight began. The squirrels were beating the Paper Shredder up when he called on his staple men. At that time Master I Have A Splinter came and pulled a splinter out of his back. The squirrels fought the Staple Men while Master I Have A Splinter fought the Paper Shredder.
Fifteen minutes later and the battle ended. The squirrels went to unmask the Paper Shredder. Jean took the mask off of the Paper Shredder to see Michael Jackson!
"Michael Jackson?" The four squirrels asked at once.
"No, take another look…" Master I Have A Splinter said lifting the Michael Jackson mask off only to see Bill O'Reilly
"Not Bill O'Reilly! But why?" Jean asked.
"I was afraid you darn squirrels would take my show off the TV so I tried to get rid of you!" Bill O'Reilly replied.
"You moron!" James started, "We're not even on the same network and we love your show!"
"Actually, we don't even have a show on any network. We're just some story that some guy made up for some reason and he could make me say blah blah blah, see he made me say that and this could go on forever but that wouldn't be cool so I wish the writer would stop typing and end the story!" Kurt said.
"Shut up! We do to have a show!" Jean said running into a corner to cry.
"I hate, my characters… personallit… t… t…. ty……" Ozzy said slowly.
"I would of gotten away with my plot too if it weren't for you meddling squirrels and that stupid gopher!" Bill O'Reilly said getting carried into the back of a police car.
And now you see, that's how the Teenage Mutant Samurai Squirrels came to be… Not much of samurai though, right?