Time passed rather slowly while Monica and Chandler finished the adoption paperwork, prepared the nursery, and had a social worker do a "home study" on them. After they got approved and added to the list, all they could do was wait for a birthmother to like their profile and contact them for an interview. Even if they hit it off with the birthmother right away, there might be several more meetings while she tried to decide among many candidates.
It was very hard for Monica to be patient with this process, but Chandler did his best to soothe her. Reading about other options, he even suggested that if they wanted to speed things up, they could widen their search criteria to babies as old as Emma or of a different race. Or they could try to save enough money to do one of those foreign adoptions.
Trying to be helpful, and still believing that Chandler must have some Chinese blood somewhere in his background, Joey suggested, "Yeah, get a Chinese baby! They're so cute, and your last name would go perfect with it!"
"Joe, I'm not Chinese."
"You sure? Not even way way back?"
"No. No ancient Chinese ancestors."
Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel got along better with Bonnie and Gunther, who seemed to be getting serious, even getting piercings together. Phoebe and David were also happily celebrating milestones, like Phoebe's birthday.
Kate got a few jobs appearing in different TV commercials and even got a small part on a Law & Order episode. Joey felt somewhat jealous that her scene didn't get cut out like his did, but he was happy for her success.
He also tried to make Chandler give up his rivalry with Kate, but only with limited success. Kate was growing closer to Monica, though.
On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, Kate flew home to visit her brother in L.A., and she was staying the whole weekend, since she hadn't seen him in almost two months. That night, Monica was working late at Javu's, but she was going to stay home and host Thanksgiving dinner again tomorrow.
So Joey and Chandler ended up together at Joey's place on Wednesday night. They drank beers, watched TV, and hung out with the chick and the duck.
Chandler was happy, thinking that this was like the good old days.
Joey on the other hand was sad, already missing Kate and dreading the long weekend ahead. Leaning back in his recliner, he sighed and moped. "Man, I wish that I went with Kate to meet her family!" They had agreed to wait until Christmas instead, since Joey and his friends had a tradition of having Thanksgiving together.
On the couch, Chandler sat up and looked hurt. "Stop moaning about her! You're here with me! Why aren't you happy?"
Joey turned and looked at him gloomily. "I love her, and I miss her." He had actually told her "I love you" just last week, and she'd said it back, with that beautiful smile of hers.
Kicking the table, Chandler spoke spitefully, "I don't! I hope she stays in L.A. and never comes back!"
"Chandler!" Joey got mad now. "Stop it! I told you to stop being mean about her!" He couldn't understand all this hostility. "Why do you hate her so much, Chandler? She's not Janice! Monica and the gang like her just fine."
"I don't trust her! She treated you-"
"That was years ago!" Joey cut off the too familiar argument. "Things are different now, and we're happy. She even puts up with you all the time, because she loves me that much. Besides, Kate's the one who should be worried about whether to trust me or not, 'cause of all the girls I've been with."
"That's what she wants you to think, so she can lord it over you! But the truth is, that she was just as heartless to you as Ursula was, or worse!"
Fed up, Joey came over to the couch and shook him by the arms. "Chandler, stop it! Stop it. I've done worse to lots of girls, and you know it." When Chandler fell silent, Joey released his grip and sighed. Then Joey sat closer to him and said imploringly, "Come on, I love her, Chandler, and I want you to treat her nice. I had to put up with Janice when you loved her, you know."
He shrugged and pointed out, "Janice cheated on me eventually."
"Chandler!" he glared.
Chandler looked away and said nothing, kicking the table again.
"You loved her," Joey repeated, "so I had to fake liking Janice, and even go on that horrible Day of Fun..." He still shuddered at the memory. Then Joey put his arm around Chandler. "Well, I love Kate now, so you've gotta try, for me. Please."
"You love her," Chandler whispered, very upset. He looked at the floor and pouted. "You loved her even after she made you cry."
Joey stared at him and squeezed his shoulder. "Chandler, that's ancient history now. I forgive her. Why can't you let it go?"
Chandler shrugged and grimaced, glancing down again. He finally admitted softly, "I'm-I'm jealous."
"Jealous?" Joey blinked at him and wondered, not for the first time, whether Chandler might be gay.
Chandler gulped, knowing how that sounded, but he explained, "It's like I'm-I'm invisible whenever she's around, Joe. Like in Barbados, you just ditched me for her, and when I tried to tell you not to rush things, you just laughed at me and kissed her. And you pushed me away at the birthday party when we were in the door. And you let her play foosball with you, and give the birds a bath. And you're laughing and talking to her all the time, and lately you even-even said she was your best friend now."
"Chandler..." Joey leaned closer and touched his knee, finally understanding his pain and jealousy. "Look, this is-this is just like what happened when you got together with Monica, and you spent all that time with her, you know? And then you moved in with her and married her too. How do you think I felt, when you said she was your best friend? I missed you all the time. How come you didn't notice?"
"I know you cried, Joey, a lot. You even cried again when I went to Tulsa, and you missed me so much. I mean, maybe I couldn't cry or anything, but-but I missed you too. And I miss you now, Joe. I don't want you to go to L.A."
"It's just for Christmas," he said.
"No, that's just how it starts! Then you'll go for Thanksgiving and Christmas next year, and then you'll go for vacations and to film movies, and then you'll move out there for good. You'll call for awhile, but then you'll get caught up in Hollywood, and forget about me, and never come back. I-I don't want to lose you, Joe."
"Me neither." Joey pulled him closer and hugged him. "I wouldn't leave like that, Chandler. I'd always come back."
"But if she wanted-"
"I'd always come back and see you. Always. Don't you think I'd miss you too?" Joey sat back and met his eyes, touching his knee again. "Look, I don't want us to fight about this, Chandler. I don't want this to be like with Janine, you know? Please, can't you accept Kate? Can't you be happy for me?"
Chandler choked up and asked, "You won't leave me? You won't let her talk you into staying in L.A.? You won't forget me?"
"No! No, we'll always be together, Chandler. I promise."
The promise made him feel better, and he hugged Joey tightly. Chandler murmured, "Yeah, and-and someday we'll move to the suburbs together, and you'll be Uncle Joey to our kid, and you'll have an apartment over the garage where you can grow old."
"Yeah." Joey smiled and liked that picture. "But me and Kate should really have, like, our own house next door, 'cause we'll have kids too. And in the yard, we'll have a coop for the chick and the duck, you know?"
Chandler tried to get used to that change. He'd had the vision for years, and it was hard to revise. "We-we could take down the fence between our yards, and get a pool."
Joey laughed and nodded. "Yeah, with a sign that says, 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool!"
"And, um, maybe you'll have a game room, Joe?"
"Sure. You can come over and play foosball all the time."
For a moment, they both grinned and imagined how perfect that life would be. But then the guys became aware of how much they were touching and how long they were hugging, so they blushed and let go of each other. Glancing away awkwardly, Chandler cleared his throat and said, "Goodnight," then returned to the other apartment.
"Uh, yeah. See ya tomorrow."
Joey then noticed that the chick and duck were looking at him rather oddly, so he told them dismissively, "No, I thought he was for a second, but he's not gay. Just jealous."
He got up and grabbed another beer, musing as he drank it. Many of their old fights as roommates had that inappropriate, couple-like tinge to them too. That was why people often joked that they were more than friends; the feelings ran so deep. And even after they weren't roommates anymore, there were times when Joey still got needy or possessive about Chandler. In fact, he had feared that he might lose Chandler when he got transferred to Tulsa, but thankfully Chandler had hated Tulsa and quit.
Joey could certainly understand Chandler's insecurity now, but he was happy that they'd finally reached an understanding about Kate. He picked up the phone and called her long-distance.
The next day, during Thanksgiving dinner, Chandler was happy to have the chick and the duck visiting, and he managed not to pout or complain whenever Joey stopped to call Kate.
Monica was somewhat on edge because of the birds, but Chandler kept his promise to watch them closely and clean up after them. However, she got jealous again when she saw Ross and Rachel attempting to feed Emma mashed potatoes. Monica moped, hoping and praying that they might get a phone call from a birthmother today, so that they'd have more to be thankful about. But they got nothing.
Chandler said, "It's too soon, Monica! We just started the adoption, and the agency is probably closed this weekend anyway."
She remained impatient and even made a wish on the wishbone. Still nothing.
The others also tried to comfort Monica, and Phoebe predicted that Monica would definitely have a baby soon. "If you don't believe me, then I'll take you to see my psychic. Oh, but she's not open on Thanksgiving. How about next week?"
Rachel said, "And until then, Emma loves her Aunt Monica!"
Monica burst into tears. She was tired of being an aunt. She wanted to be a mother.
Ross hugged her and reminded her that she might still have a miracle baby just like their mom did.
Monica was less optimistic, though.
Telling the others to give her a break and wash the dishes for her, Chandler kissed her and took her into their bedroom. He spent the rest of the weekend comforting her and even asked if she wanted to sign up to be foster parents, but Monica said that it would hurt even more to have a child on a temporary basis, only to say goodbye to it later.
When Kate came back from L.A. on Sunday night, she brought souvenirs for everybody. Chandler was finally nicer, telling her that Monica really needed a friend like her. Kate was surprised and really appreciated his words.
She hugged Monica, and gave her a present. "It's, um, a fertility idol thingy, to hang over your bed, you know, and help you get pregnant."
Touched, Monica thanked her and couldn't wait to try it. Kate then left to have some private time with Joey, whom she had missed a lot.
In case it's not clear, this Thanksgiving included none of the plots from the episode about the baby beauty contest or the hockey game. Like anybody even cares about hockey on Thanksgiving! It's either football or the parades that people care about.
I'm also changing the details of the adoption, because I couldn't stand the rushed, asinine way that the Friends writers handled the storyline. Monica and Chandler should not get special treatment, most especially not when they commit gross ethical violations like lying to the birthmother.