(Huzzah for new authoress! Oh and I guess huazzah for a point to this fic, since I hate pointless fics.)
Rubberninja: Hello again! Welcome back! –sips Panda-
N0ob Assassin: This time, we're back with a little something different...
Rubber: Yup that's right.
N0ob: We have a surprise guest. Please welcome Salima Li akiyama.
Person in Crowd: Hey where are all the Sins?
Rubber: Getting plastic surgery. Thanks to two crazed…fanatics, they will be here shortly.
Salima and N0ob: Whatever.
Rubber: Anyways, in the mean time, we have decided to view some old clips of the series with the two boys that made it all, Edward and Alphonse Elric.
Crowd: -Cheers-
Salima: Roll it Floop.
Floop: -starts the third episode-
N0ob: We're starting it here, 'cause Rose was an idiot.
Ed and Al: Was not.
N0ob: -chainsaw hum-
Plays until the vegetable scene.
Rubber: So what the hell is wrong with you guys? You like vegetables?
Ed: No, not really, but mom told me to get them so-
Rubber: Huh-uh, sure you don't like squash.
Ed: I didn't! I mean, I don't!
Rubber: So what about you Al?
Al: I don't really remember. I guess I did somewhat like squash. But broccoli was really nasty.
N0ob: And I hate the way it sounds! It sounds like some kind of diseases.
Salima: Hey, did you guy's mother die of the Broccoli Diseases?
Ed and Al: -.- No.
Plays until the burial scene.
Rubber: So what, you guys stayed there until night?
Ed: Yeah, so?
Rubber: Well, damn you could of caught whatever she died of if you stay around a dead body long enough!
Ed: She was six feet under!
N0ob: Actually, I read they only buried her five.
Ed: Whatever, you can't catch a disease like that.
Rubber: Oh no? When I was six I used to play in the cemetery around the graves and I caught Polio.
Al: Isn't that genetic?
Rubber: No, not like height…-cough-
Ed: -glares- Well that's just being stupid. Besides, if you have polio why aren't you in a hospital?
Rubber: Because its not contagious.
Ed: Yet you caught it from a dead person.
Rubber: …. Shut it.
Salima: There's Rubber being stupid for you…
Plays to the part where they start screaming.
Salima: I'm hearing a girl in there.
Ed: There was no girl.
Salima: So was that you sounding like a girl?
Ed: No! Al just didn't hit puberty yet.
N0ob: Will he ever? –everyone turns to Alphonse-
Al: What?
Rubber: Do you ever get those strange desires to-
Ed: Okay, that's enough!
Rubber: Well he's got to learn sometime.
Ed: Well when he gets his body back we'll call Greed.
N0ob: Is that ever going to happen? I mean you spent 51 damn episodes screwing around looking for that stone, yet all you ever find are those gay fake ones.
Ed: Well blame Lust and all of them!
Salima: Maybe your not looking hard enough…
Ed: You wanna try?
Salima: Alright I will!
N0ob and Rubber: Uh, dude…
Ed: If you can findthe Stonein less than 51 episodes, you can actually 'own' me once I get my body back. But if you don't…then you don't. You got nothing I want.
Salima: -smack- Deal!
N0ob and Rubber: NOOO!
Salima: What?
Rubber: We're under contract!
Salima: So?
Rubber: So, that means whatever we promise to the audience must be broadcasted.
Salima: Shit…
N0ob: Ha, your telling her that! You'll never guess what kind ofcrap I just pulled you in Rubber!
Rubber: What?
N0ob: Your on the same deal but with all those homunculi!
Rubber: GOD DAMN-Wait, what happens if I do find it?
N0ob: You get the rights to your palm tree.
Rubber: YES!
Hollaback Girl: Okay, okay STOP.
Everyone: What?
Hollaback: We need one more person helping the military out.
Ed and Al: Why?
Hollaback: Because you guys suck at helping the military, the Sins already have enough help, and me and Floop are to busy helping out with fliming this gig.
Salima: What about N0ob?
N0ob: I'm too busy having the swat team ready so you guys don't kill each other.
Hollaback: So who's going to-
Lupa-Goddess of Pain: ALRIGHT EVERYONE FREEZE! –holds out gun-
Rubber: Lupa? Uh, that whole thing with the guy in pink, I never told him your phone number!
Lupa: What?
Rubber: Nothing.
Lupa: Where is my Spark Mister?
Everyone: Who?
Lupa: Sparky.
Everyone: Wha?
Lupa: THE FRIGGEN FLAME ALCHEMIST YOU RETARDS!
Person in crowd: Okay, still not ringing a bell…
Lupa: -shoots-
Person: -Final freaking dies-
Lupa: Everyone knows of whom I speak?
Everyone: -nods-
PyroDea: WHERE IS EDWARD?
Ed: Wha? Not you again!
Hollaback: HOW THE HELL IS EVERYONE GETTING INTO THE STUDIO?
Pyro: This dude with brown and blackhair gave me a VIP pass.
Hollaback: Floop, I'm going to...
Pyro: Anyways,I want you to take me to your little girlfriend 'cause she owes me a damn auto-mail job!
Ed: But you don't have any severed limbs.
Pyro: Doesn't mean I can't get 'em.
Ed: Uh, can someone make sure she doesn't go around sharp objects?
N0ob: -calls on radio- I need backup immediately! Code blue!
Swat team: -runs off with Pyro-
Pyro: I'LL GET YOU BACK YOU MOTHERFREAKER!
Everyone: -stares-
Lupa: WILL SOMEONE ANSWER ME?
Rubber: Yes, yes! He's in the back, in the uh, kitchen. In the freezer.
Lupa: -runs off-
N0ob: You know that you can only open it from the inside right.
Rubber: Yes, I love the way I rigged it.
Hollaback: Okay….how 'bout this. To save time, we just stick Lupa with the military.
Cast and authoress: Agreed.
Floop: -big announcer voice- Okay people! Thanks for being such a good audience and pretending to listening for at least half the show! We hope to see you on the newest edition of the Surreal World now at a new time and channel! Saturdays at eight on channel 265!
Futsutsuka: Should we watch it?
Tiffy Taffy: Sure, we got nothing better to do I guess.
Futsutsuka: -changes channel. Picture of the Ring comes on. Phone rings in the kitchen-
Tiffy: I'll get it.
Lupa: -stands at freezer door- Come on Sparky! Please let me in! I'm starting to get the feeling that Rubber fed me bullshit.