As the Fuzzie Bunnies Attack
So have you read the 6th Harry Potter Book? If so then I want you to – FORGET EVERYTHING THAT YOU READ IN THERE for one minute, well acculy for as long as it takes to read this. Everything's normal, no ones dead, no one left, blah blah blah..
So here it is
Chapter 1 – This isn't ½ the craziness
Harry got onto the Hogwarts express, it was the first, and in a long time that not only had he not been late but he hadn't gone to the burrow during the summer, and as you can imagine he was very much anticipating seeing Ron and Hermione. He found an empty compartment and just as he was putting his luggage up he head
"Why Hello Harry" Someone hissed, Harry turned around to see none other than Neville, but Neville looked Different. He had red eyes outlined with black eyeliner and his lips were black with lipstick, black long velvet cape, shirt, pants, and shoes plus a top hat, and a silver tie.
"Um hi Neville, what happened to you?" Harry Said
"Nnnnnott muchssss" Neville hissed just then Ron and Hermione came through
"Hey Harry what is – OH MY GOD" Ron said looking at Neville
"He's clearly under the Imperious curse" Hermione said hitting him with her book, she hit him a few more times before
"Ill get you my pretty - and your little cat too" Neville said giving her a peck on the cheek and taking off only to run into a few scared 1st years.
"What was that all about?" Ron said, Harry took a good look at him to knowest that he was wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt and a pair of black dickies.
"Where did you get ---- that" Harry said pointing to Ron's Outfit
"Ebay" Ron said
"But Ron you have to have a muggle computer to use it" Hermione
"I know" Ron said "Dad brought one home from his work, and it had internet and everything, I have it with me" He pointed to his side, and sure enofe hanging by his waist from a strap that went around his left shoulder was a laptop "It works on magic, and it got me into a bunch of muggle music, like AFI – My Chemical Romance, Green Day, and Of coarse Marilyn Manson! I even got tickets to see him in December with you two"
"I'm not going!" Hermione said "And besides where did you get the money to buy this stuff?"
"Fred and George, they made fake credit cards that mail all of the bills to the Malfoy's!" Ron said with glee, and right then Malfoy and his two goonies Crabbe and Goyle walked through the door. Draco said
"Hey Weasley do you know where these may have come from" Draco pulled out a long list of items "Thets see – My Chemical Romance pin, Marilyn Manson and AFI Cds – whatever those are, Marilyn Manson concert Tickets, Marilyn Manson T-Shirts, Gucci Sunglasses, A mini Hummer H2, A Minty Hippo named Shaqueque" Draco read out loud, Hermione looked at him
"Minty Hippo" She said
"Well you see if you lick her she's taste kind of like Muggle Toothpaste" Ron said "She's very special, and um well I'm having her shipped to Hogwarts"
"Ok Malfoy Ill pay ya" Harry said digging into his pocket detirmed to repay for whatever Ron had done
"I don't want your money Potter I have more than you can imagine, I want…." Malfoy paused for a minute "You" And turned around and walked out of the door
"WHAT!" Harry "ME!"
"I wonder what he ment" Ron said "Maybe we could take in the possibility that he is gay and wants Harry for a lover"
"Well that sure as hell aint gona happen" Harry said, then changing the subject "So Ron seems as though you've changed a bunch"
"Yes well the whole family has" Ron started off "Thanks to the Internet, Fred & George, and much to Ebay. Ginny read some sites and became what you would call a Gothic Poser, Mum and Dad are on some thing called Orbits and they are planning an expensive trip to Hawaii and Vienna. And Fred and George get to chat online with babes all day." Ron said the last thing with a frown
"That's cool" Harry said "So what's happened with you Hermoine"
"Nothing, but later the author will reveal that over the summer I developed a 'hitting people over the head with books' habit."
"Wow that's really cool and all she gave me was Ebay" Ron said "But then again she gave me my one and only love, the girl I plan to be with forever"
"Mary-Sue?" Hermione said
"No silly – Shaqueque – my hippo I wanna keep her forever, when I go to Hogwarts, when I graduate, and when you and me get married and have children" Ron just realized what he said and Hermione looked at him
"You just said you're going to marry me and have children" Hermione said in a soft voice moving her face closer to his, Ron was getting really nervous
"I know it just slipped" Ron said "I really didn't mean it"
"Yes you did" Hermione said
"No really I didn't, I don't wanna marry you nor have children, its just well there's already someone else" Ron said putting his down
"Well who is it?" Harry said
"Is it Lavender" Hermione said
"No"
"Patti?"
'"No"
"Eleanor?"
"No"
"Susan?"
"No"
"Luna"
"NO"
"Ginny?"
"NO THAT'S MY SISTER"
"Oh yea" Hermione said
"Katie?"
"No"
"Cho?"
"No"
"Well then who is she" Harry said
"Well it isn't really a she it's more like a – he"
"Ron are you gay?"
"Yes, do you hate me?
"No of coarse not Ron" Hermione and Harry said, they both gave him a big hug
"Good cause I'm dating Flitwick" Ron said, Harry and Hermione both broke free of the hug fast and jumped to the other side of the compartment "I'm just kidding guys Ron said, I'm just dating Blaise"
"Oh, oh thank God" Hermione said, clutching her heart "How did this happen""Well we just meet up in Diagon Alley in Fred and George's shop and we just kind of hit it off. So we've been going out since then"
"Well as long as it's not Flitwick" Harry said
"That's true" Hermione said