[King Van rides up with Merle to a clearing. Sees two zaibach sorcerers fighting.]
Zaibach Sorcerer 1: *charges* Aaahg!
[music plays: Epistle from soundtrack 3]
[music stops]
Zaibach Sorcerer 2: *parries and retreats* Aaaaaahg!
Sorcerer 1: *swings again* Oooh!
[Music plays again; Epistle]
[music stops]
Sorcerer 2: *charges and swings sword* Yaaaah!
Sorcerer 1: *dodges and parries* haaaah! *stabs*
[music plays once again; Epistle]
[music stops]
Sorcerer 2: Augh! *counter strikes* rahar!
[music plays; rythm emotion from Gundam wing]
(off stage: alright, who mixed the soundtracks?)
[Music stops]
Sorcerer 1: *runs sorcer 2 through with sword*
Sorcerer 2: *Falls over dead* Aaaaargh.
Sorcerer 1: *looks satisfied*
[Van and Merle ride up with Merle banging piscus gourds together]
Van: You fight well, even if you are a scrawny looking sorcerer with a cape like batman. *pauses* I am Van Fanel, King of Fanelia. *pauses* I am searching the land for the finest and stupidest, er, I mean bravest knight to join me in my court at Fanelia. *pauses* You wanna come? We'll have roasted giant rolly-pollies on a stick. *Pauses* Oh well, your loss. Come on Merle.
Sorcerer: None shall pass.
Van: Excuse me?
Sorcerer: None shall pass. If you have a hearing loss, we've been working on developing hearing aid over in Zaibach... well we were until Dornkirk cut funding, said he wanted to concentrate on some stupid fate oscillator. The farthest we got was seashells...
Van: Riiight. Anyway, I don't have a hearing problem. My problem is you standing in my way. I want to cross the bridge you're standing on.
Sorcerer: Then you shall die. Witness the power of the fully armed and opperational death star!
(off stage: Pssssst! Wrong show stupid!)
Sorcerer: Oh, right. Sorry about that. I meant to say was, you shall die young king!
Van: I command you, as someone who could probably kick your scrawny a-
(off stage: No swearing or we'll have to up the rating!)
Van: er, axiom... yeah. Stand aside before I tie you to a tree and lodge my guymelef where the stream don't flow.
(off stage: will we have to bring the rating up for that?)
(off stage: No, I think it should be fine.)
Sorcerer: I move only on Dornkirk-sama's orders. You not being Dornkirk-sama have no call to order me about.
Van: *draws sword* Have it your way then, you're my enemy anyway!
Sorcerer and Van: *Sword fight with many manly yells of challenge and testosterone*
Van: *chops off sorcerers arm* There, now get the hell out of my way.
Sorcerer: I can fix that! *pulls out prosthetic arm*
Van: *rolls eyes* Oh brother.
Sorcerer: Precisely. Now... this arm, version 2.5, is my own development. It slices, it dices it also makes julianne fries! *arm falls off* Oh bugger, not again.
Van: Are you done yet?
Sorcerer: Just a sec. *hauls out repair kit*
Van: *stands impatiently* Are you going to be all day with this, because I really just want to cross the stupid bridge.
Sorcerer: Half a moment. *adjusts arm a little* There. Okay, good as new.
[Arm starts sparking from the side, bouncy pop music come from out of nowhere, then it does the moves to the Macareena]
Sorcerer: Oh bugger.
Van: *rolls eyes* Remind me never to have you fix my guymelef. Not that I'd let you anywhere near it in the first place.
Sorcerer: *fixes arm again* Alright, come on you pansy!
Van: Pansy?! This from a man who looks like an evil computer geek? *charges, lops other arm off*
Van: Victory is mine! *kneels* I thank-you oh great world dragon that in thy mer-
Sorcerer: *pulls out other arm and attaches it to shoulder* Have at you!
[Music plays:
'Cause you can tell by the way I use my walk
I'm a ladies man,
No time to talk!
Ah-ah-ah-ah-stayin' alive, stayin' alive]
Van: *mutters* I can fix THAT if you'd like. *brandishes sword and considers the emotional satisfaction of just chopping off his head then and there*
Sorcerer: *unwillingly does the "finger pointing dance"* er... have at you! *kicks at Van*
Van: *watches the dance shaking his head* Riiight.
Sorcerer: *doing the robot* Oh? Had enough eh?
Van: Look you baka, your arms are more interested in doing obscure Mystic Moon dances than sword fighting, I'd say I won; unless of course you're planning on challenging me to some kind of dance-off. I don't do that kind of thing.
Sorcerer: I'm fine! Just limbering up to take you on. *starts doing the hand jive*
Van: No you're not.
Sorcerer: Yes I am. *kicks at him*
Van: hey, cut that out.
Sorcerer: *kicks at him again* Come on! Coward! Why doncha turn your back and run away?
Van: Look, I'll have your leg. *charges, chops off Sorcerers leg*
Sorcerer: Right! I'll do you for that! *hauls out prosthetic leg*
Van: You'll what?!
(Music plays:
You put your right arm in, you put your right arm out...)
Sorcerer: *starts doing the hokey-pokey* I knew I shouldn't have tried to combine instuctional videos and prosthetics. What was I thinking? *turns to Van* Come on, I'll kill you!
Van: What are you going to do, teach me how to waltz?
Sorcerer: I'm invicible! My inventions are perfect!
Van: You're nuts.
Sorcerer: Zaibach always triumphs! Have at you!
Van: *charges, cuts off Sorcerers last leg*
Sorcerer: *Attaches prosthetic*
[Music plays
And a little bit of this, and a little bit of that and shake your butt...]
Sorcerer: *starts doing the bird dance* Alright... we'll call it a draw!
Van: *Rolls eyes* Come on Merle, lets get out of her before he starts to disco. *shudders*
Sorerer: Oh! Running away are you? Come back here and fight like a man! *starts "I'm a little teapot"*
[Van and Merle ride off]
* * *
Oooookaaaay... I don't know where that came from. I've spent a week trying to figure out who to have as the knights, origionally it was going to be nariya and eriya but I decided to put them in a later chapter. Then suddenly my brain just farted this one out. From start to finish I'm not sure I was actually part of the process. As J Michael Straznski says, "I do not write, the universe through me writes; I'm but a mere vessel for when the Universe does a drive by creation." I was just in fine vessel form tonight.
Zaibach Sorcerer 1: *charges* Aaahg!
[music plays: Epistle from soundtrack 3]
[music stops]
Zaibach Sorcerer 2: *parries and retreats* Aaaaaahg!
Sorcerer 1: *swings again* Oooh!
[Music plays again; Epistle]
[music stops]
Sorcerer 2: *charges and swings sword* Yaaaah!
Sorcerer 1: *dodges and parries* haaaah! *stabs*
[music plays once again; Epistle]
[music stops]
Sorcerer 2: Augh! *counter strikes* rahar!
[music plays; rythm emotion from Gundam wing]
(off stage: alright, who mixed the soundtracks?)
[Music stops]
Sorcerer 1: *runs sorcer 2 through with sword*
Sorcerer 2: *Falls over dead* Aaaaargh.
Sorcerer 1: *looks satisfied*
[Van and Merle ride up with Merle banging piscus gourds together]
Van: You fight well, even if you are a scrawny looking sorcerer with a cape like batman. *pauses* I am Van Fanel, King of Fanelia. *pauses* I am searching the land for the finest and stupidest, er, I mean bravest knight to join me in my court at Fanelia. *pauses* You wanna come? We'll have roasted giant rolly-pollies on a stick. *Pauses* Oh well, your loss. Come on Merle.
Sorcerer: None shall pass.
Van: Excuse me?
Sorcerer: None shall pass. If you have a hearing loss, we've been working on developing hearing aid over in Zaibach... well we were until Dornkirk cut funding, said he wanted to concentrate on some stupid fate oscillator. The farthest we got was seashells...
Van: Riiight. Anyway, I don't have a hearing problem. My problem is you standing in my way. I want to cross the bridge you're standing on.
Sorcerer: Then you shall die. Witness the power of the fully armed and opperational death star!
(off stage: Pssssst! Wrong show stupid!)
Sorcerer: Oh, right. Sorry about that. I meant to say was, you shall die young king!
Van: I command you, as someone who could probably kick your scrawny a-
(off stage: No swearing or we'll have to up the rating!)
Van: er, axiom... yeah. Stand aside before I tie you to a tree and lodge my guymelef where the stream don't flow.
(off stage: will we have to bring the rating up for that?)
(off stage: No, I think it should be fine.)
Sorcerer: I move only on Dornkirk-sama's orders. You not being Dornkirk-sama have no call to order me about.
Van: *draws sword* Have it your way then, you're my enemy anyway!
Sorcerer and Van: *Sword fight with many manly yells of challenge and testosterone*
Van: *chops off sorcerers arm* There, now get the hell out of my way.
Sorcerer: I can fix that! *pulls out prosthetic arm*
Van: *rolls eyes* Oh brother.
Sorcerer: Precisely. Now... this arm, version 2.5, is my own development. It slices, it dices it also makes julianne fries! *arm falls off* Oh bugger, not again.
Van: Are you done yet?
Sorcerer: Just a sec. *hauls out repair kit*
Van: *stands impatiently* Are you going to be all day with this, because I really just want to cross the stupid bridge.
Sorcerer: Half a moment. *adjusts arm a little* There. Okay, good as new.
[Arm starts sparking from the side, bouncy pop music come from out of nowhere, then it does the moves to the Macareena]
Sorcerer: Oh bugger.
Van: *rolls eyes* Remind me never to have you fix my guymelef. Not that I'd let you anywhere near it in the first place.
Sorcerer: *fixes arm again* Alright, come on you pansy!
Van: Pansy?! This from a man who looks like an evil computer geek? *charges, lops other arm off*
Van: Victory is mine! *kneels* I thank-you oh great world dragon that in thy mer-
Sorcerer: *pulls out other arm and attaches it to shoulder* Have at you!
[Music plays:
'Cause you can tell by the way I use my walk
I'm a ladies man,
No time to talk!
Ah-ah-ah-ah-stayin' alive, stayin' alive]
Van: *mutters* I can fix THAT if you'd like. *brandishes sword and considers the emotional satisfaction of just chopping off his head then and there*
Sorcerer: *unwillingly does the "finger pointing dance"* er... have at you! *kicks at Van*
Van: *watches the dance shaking his head* Riiight.
Sorcerer: *doing the robot* Oh? Had enough eh?
Van: Look you baka, your arms are more interested in doing obscure Mystic Moon dances than sword fighting, I'd say I won; unless of course you're planning on challenging me to some kind of dance-off. I don't do that kind of thing.
Sorcerer: I'm fine! Just limbering up to take you on. *starts doing the hand jive*
Van: No you're not.
Sorcerer: Yes I am. *kicks at him*
Van: hey, cut that out.
Sorcerer: *kicks at him again* Come on! Coward! Why doncha turn your back and run away?
Van: Look, I'll have your leg. *charges, chops off Sorcerers leg*
Sorcerer: Right! I'll do you for that! *hauls out prosthetic leg*
Van: You'll what?!
(Music plays:
You put your right arm in, you put your right arm out...)
Sorcerer: *starts doing the hokey-pokey* I knew I shouldn't have tried to combine instuctional videos and prosthetics. What was I thinking? *turns to Van* Come on, I'll kill you!
Van: What are you going to do, teach me how to waltz?
Sorcerer: I'm invicible! My inventions are perfect!
Van: You're nuts.
Sorcerer: Zaibach always triumphs! Have at you!
Van: *charges, cuts off Sorcerers last leg*
Sorcerer: *Attaches prosthetic*
[Music plays
And a little bit of this, and a little bit of that and shake your butt...]
Sorcerer: *starts doing the bird dance* Alright... we'll call it a draw!
Van: *Rolls eyes* Come on Merle, lets get out of her before he starts to disco. *shudders*
Sorerer: Oh! Running away are you? Come back here and fight like a man! *starts "I'm a little teapot"*
[Van and Merle ride off]
* * *
Oooookaaaay... I don't know where that came from. I've spent a week trying to figure out who to have as the knights, origionally it was going to be nariya and eriya but I decided to put them in a later chapter. Then suddenly my brain just farted this one out. From start to finish I'm not sure I was actually part of the process. As J Michael Straznski says, "I do not write, the universe through me writes; I'm but a mere vessel for when the Universe does a drive by creation." I was just in fine vessel form tonight.