OF PLUMP, UNRECOGNIZABLE HOBBITS
"Pippin! Goshdarnit, would you stop running so fast!" called out Merry.
"Can't catch me! Can't catch me!" Pippin taunted.
"Where are you going, anyway?"
"Whee!"
"PIPPIN! We're going in circles!"
"I know! Isn't it great?"
The two Hobbits were seen running around Bag End for nearly five hours… and Merry had just begun wearing out. After what seemed like the millionth lap, he collapsed face first into the grass, panting and sweating bucketloads. After a few minutes, he caught the vision of two large hairy feet tapping next to his head. Merry slowly lifted his head.
"See? Told you you couldn't catch me!" Pippin smirked.
"Everything's always a game for you, isn't it, Pip?" Merry retorted.
"Well, saving Middle-Earth couldn't have been done without a few games. Otherwise, it would have just been boring…"
The two shared a laugh as Pippin aided Merry in standing up.
"I sure do miss Frodo, though." Pippin said.
"Yes. Sam too. Always busy with his gabazillion children and what not." Merry joked.
"Say, why don't we walk down to the pub, for old times' sake?"
"Why not? And invent another drinking song while we're at it!"
They skipped on over to their local pub, sharing many jokes and laughs along the way. Once they entered, they were greeted with their many fellow Hobbits, and they ordered several drinks.
"Rats. They don't have pints here. That's something I've always missed about our journey." reminisced Merry.
"It comes in pints?"
"Pippin!"
pause "Say… who's that man… over there?"
Pippin pointed to a hooded man in a black coat. He was most certainly not a Hobbit, but not a figure like Gandalf either. Merry and Pippin both looked over, only to catch a frightening glance from the hooded man.
"Don't look at him any longer, Pip." Merry said under his breath.
"I'm with you." Pippin hastily replied as he took another sip of his drink.
A rather plump, unrecognizable Hobbit approached Merry and Pippin.
"Say, you two have had rather a lot to drink…" he said suspiciously.
"Ah, yes, gladly," Pippin replied. "And who are you? You are rather plump and unrecognizable."
"Pippin!" Merry hissed.
"No, no, it's perfectly fine," chuckled the Hobbit, "I get that quite a lot. But, why don't you two follow me in a little conversation about the effects drinking can have on our tiny bodies…"
"And why would we want to do that?" Merry interrogated. "We seem to be perfectly content—why not ask some of the other Hobbits around us… who are really showing the effects of too much drinking…" Merry motioned to a Hobbit trying to eat the hairs off his foot.
"Well, then I wouldn't be able to have an intelligent conversation with a drinker, would I?" the Hobbit replied.
"Merry, he seems harmless," Pippin whispered so the Hobbit couldn't hear. "Let's just go and listen to his rubbish and come back for a few more drinks."
Merry remained silent for a long while before saying, "Agreed."
The two Hobbits stood up and walked alongside the plump, unrecognizable Hobbit, as he mysteriously looked off behind them and gave a suspicious nod…
The two Hobbits returned to their seat, laughing the hardest they had in the past five minutes.
"Could you believe the things he said?" Pippin choked, laughing like a maniac.
"What a load of rubbish!" Merry replied, taking a huge sip of his unfinished drink.
"AHA! Yeah!" Pippin snorted, copying Merry's huge sip with his own drink.
The two Hobbits laughed their way into a deep sleep. They had not been expecting their heartwarming gathering to take such a turn. The plump, unrecognizable Hobbit remained a complete mystery to them. Where they woke up was really unexpected…