But I Didn't See This

Disclaimer: Someday I'll own pocket lint but for now nothing. (Sob)

Summary: It's a bit AU S5 set after 'Intervention'. Xander feels guilty about Spike's capture and injuries.

A/N: Going to try to make this a chapter cause it's a continuation of 'Can't Help But See'. This just kinda popped into my head while I was driving my son to school. Tells you how much attention I pay to what I'm doing at any given moment. The muse has no life either.

Reviews: Yes please, need to know someone's reading my insane ramblings. My daughter read them but did she leave reviews? Noooo. Some peoples children, I swear. Flames will be used to toast marshmallows as soon as I find a long enough stick so I can avoid the dusting. Have become seriously addicted to reviews, it's a sickness I tell you. Thanks to all past reviewers. Y'all rock!!

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Xander waited until he saw Buffy leaving the crypt before he made his way slowly to the door. He hesitated before going in. He wasn't sure just what he was going to say to the blond vampire. He felt so bad though. Taking a deep breath, he knocked lightly before pushing the door open.

He immediately felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. How could anyone be so badly injured and still be living? Well maybe not living in Spike's case, but still. The vampire was a mass of burns, cuts and bruises. His eyes were blackened and swollen almost shut. He was lying on top of the sarcophagus that dominated that portion of the crypt. Apparently he was too injured to try to make it down to the bed.

Suddenly Spike spoke, "See enough, Whelp?" The vampire sat up painfully and glared at Xander through his swollen eyes.

"Oh my God, Spike. Are you going to be okay?" Xander blurted shakily.

Spike gave a little grunt that could have passed for a laugh if he hadn't been in so much pain. "Be running a marathon in just a couple of minutes. Just need time to catch my second wind." He snarked sarcastically.

"Sorry Spike, that was a stupid question." Xander mumbled.

"Well then, say whatever it is you were going to say and leave me be. I just want to sleep." Spike said wearily.

Xander studied the floor. This was hard. He bit his lip and looked up at the creature he had sworn to hate for the rest of his life. Now that hate was just a little less of a sure thing. Spike had endured so much and it was all Xander's fault.

"I came to apologize." The brunette human said softly. Vampire hearing was the only reason Spike heard what he'd said.

"For what?" Spike asked, confused.

"It was my fault Glory got you." Xander admitted.

"Come again?" Spike was even more confused.

"If I hadn't talked you into staying around you would have been safe. She wouldn't have taken you and did... this to you. It's my fault. When those little creeps came in here I couldn't even stop them. I should have fought harder." Xander trembled in memory of Glory's minions invading this very crypt.

"Whelp, you were unconscious. How could you have fought harder? You did what you could before they clocked you. And you didn't talk me into doing anything I didn't already want to do. So none of this was your fault. Besides, if she'd gotten any of the rest of you, it would have been fatal. Buffy doesn't need that grief right now. She's got enough to deal with. Hell Bitch didn't do anything I won't recover from. So just stop blaming yourself, I don't." Spike drew a deep unneeded breath at the end of his statement. Pain radiated from every inch of his body.

Xander ran a shaking hand through his hair. He looked disbelievingly at the blond menace. He sighed deeply. "I can't believe you." He said. "You're sitting there a mass of cuts, burns and bruises and you're not blaming me? At least let me help you. Do you want anything? Can I get you some blood? Where do you keep it?" Xander looked around then moved to the old refrigerator where Spike kept his blood supply.

"Yeah, thanks. That would help. Don't bother trying to heat it. Just bring it here." Spike said as he saw Xander looking for a mug to heat it in. He accepted the package and tore it open with his teeth and started to drink it straight from the bag, draining it in seconds. He sighed as the blood moved through his system restoring some of his strength. He could feel his vampire healing start to kick in but knew he had several days before he could be considered anywhere close to normal.

Xander watched as Spike seemed to recover just a little. He marveled at the recuperative abilities of vampires. Not that he envied them or even wanted to be one but sometimes he thought they had advantages humans didn't. He took the empty bag and put it in the trash.

"Do you want me to help you get downstairs?" Xander asked.

Spike nodded, easing himself off the sarcophagus. He knees buckled as his feet touched the floor. Xander caught him before he fell and gently placed Spike's arm around his shoulders, supporting the injured vampire. Slowly they moved over to the open trap door and looked at it for a second.

"Let me go first." Xander suggested. Spike nodded and sank down to his knees next to the opening. He slumped there looking defeated by the task of getting down to his bed. Xander went down the ladder several feet, stopping almost halfway down.

"Come on, I'll catch you if you start to fall." Xander said motioning to Spike. Moving slowing, the vampire made his way down the ladder. Xander reached the floor and grasped Spike around the waist as he negotiated the last few rungs. He supported the blond as they moved to the bed. Spike sat down on the edge gratefully. Not even bothering to take off his boots or get under the covers, Spike succumbed to the urge to sink into the softness of the mattress. He sighed with relief as his body relaxed.

Xander stood there awkwardly for a moment. "Is there anything else I can get for you?" He asked.

Spike shook his head against the pillows, already half asleep. "Thanks for the help. This is good." He mumbled.

"Okay then, I'll check back with you later." Xander started backing up toward the ladder. Spike nodded once then was gone, slipping deep into healing sleep.

Xander looked at the sleeping vampire. He knew they would never be friends but something had subtlely changed. He now held a little more respect for the 'evil, bloodsucking fiend' than he'd ever thought possible. He moved over to the ladder and looked back with a slight smile on his face.

"I'm so sorry, but I didn't see this." Xander shook his head sadly and left his former enemy in peace to sleep and heal.

Finis.