Well, I thought I wasn't going to write anymore songfics. Raoul Bashing! Woot! So much fun, couldn't help myself. If youactually likeRaoul, don't read this one. Although, I don't think anyone has that problem...but if you do, then you should be taken out and shot...twice.
Okay, this song is called "Raoul" it's to the tune ofGaston from Disney's Beautyand the Beast, enjoy! oh, yea, anddisney isn't evil, ya'll happy now?
Raoul: (spoken)
Who does he think he is, this phantom?
And Christine has to learn that freaks don't make good husbands!
Random mob member #1: (spoken)
Darn right.
Raoul: (spoken)
No one says "no" to Raoul!
Dismissed! Rejected!
Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.
Random mob member #5: (spoken)
More beer?
Raoul: (spoken)
What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.
Erik's voice: (singing)
It doesn't surprise me to see you, Raoul
Looking a little bit tense.
Every guy here loves mock you, Raoul
Cause you seem to posses little sense…
There's no man in town that's as wealthy as you
but you're everyone's favorite fop
Everyone humors or plots against you.
That's why you're so far from the top!
No one's a hick like Raoul
No one's as ick as Raoul
No one's head's as incredibly thick as Raoul's
For there's no man in town half as dorky
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Corky
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on (spoken) cough mine cough
Erik and Chorus: (singing)
No one's misled like Raoul
A pinhead like Raoul
Erik: (singing)
No one's stupidity is as widespread as Raoul
Raoul: (singing)
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! (Spoken) hey, Wait a sec!
Erik and Chorus: (singing)
My what a fop, that Raoul!
Give five HaHa's
Give twelve heehee's
Erik: (singing)
Raoul is drips
so give Christine to me!
Chorus: (singing)
No one throws fights like Raoul
Erik: (singing)
Wears pink tights like Raoul
At a party no personality bites like Raoul!
For there's no one as wimpy or whinny
Raoul: (singing)
But as you see I've got cash loads to spare.
Erik: (singing)
Not a bit of him's brainy or brawny
Raoul: (singing)
Hey!
But my flat is better than your stupid lair!
Chorus: (singing)
No one hurls like Raoul
Ballet twirls like Raoul
Erik: (singing)
In a plot no one loses the girl like Raoul
Raoul: (singing)
But I'm especially good at…(spoken) wait, what am I good at?
Chorus: (singing)
Now there's no girl for Raoul!
Raoul: (singing)
When I was a lad I had stolen her heart
Every morning to we'd meet by the sea
And now that I'm grown I will win her again
I think tomorrow I'll ask her to tea!
Chorus: (singing)
Oh, ahhh, wow!
My what a fop, that Raoul!
No one stinks like Raoul
Wear's pink minks like Raoul
Erik: (singing)
Then goes dancing around on ice rinks like Raoul
I'll just say he's in touch with his feminine side!
Chorus: (singing)
My what a poof,
That Raoul!