Roy glared over his steepled fingers. Really, this was just too much. Where did the boy get off threatening him? If it wasn't so infuriating, Roy didn't think he would be able to stop laughing.

"So let me get this straight. You, that is to say, Major Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, are telling me, that is to say, Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, what I should be doing with my life?"

The short blonde in front of him glared right back.

"Thats exactly what I'm doing, Colonel. You're obviously no good at handling things yourself, are you? If you were, the lieutenant wouldn't be walking around looking like a kicked puppy!"

It really was beyond Roy how exactly Ed had figured that particular piece of information. He had stormed in twenty minutes earlier, demanding to know how long Roy had been "doing the lieutenant" as he had so charmingly put it, before telling him how he should be treating Havoc.

This was not a good thing if people were starting to notice.

Roy had been doing his best to act like nothing was going on in public. There were just so many ways for the two of them to get into trouble over the relationship. Gay relationships weren't exactly the accepted norm. Things were better, but with the two of them also being in the military, that complicated matters. As did the fact that Roy was Havocs superior. Oh yes. This really was a relationship that could go public.

So how did Ed find out? Which was beside the point, really. Ed had already demonstrated a distinct talent for finding out things he shouldn't. Roy was just trying to avoid having to listen to Eds so-called 'advice'. Buy Havoc flowers? Take him for walks through the park? Tell him he loved him? Like that was ever going to happen.

"..and trust me, if you don't start making an effort, he'll find someone else. Someone better."

Roy realised he had achieved his goal of blocking out Eds voice. And suddenly wished he hadn't. Judging by the smug look on the boys face, he was up to something. Roy shrugged to himself. What was the worst he could do? Be a pain in Roys ass? Well, already there. So Roy relaxed. He didn't really have anything to worry about.

"Are you quite finished, Fullmetal? Because if you are, I would appreciate it if you would let me get on with my work. And if you stopped interfering with things that quite frankly don't concern you."

Ed opened his mouth to speak, then snapped it shut. He gave Mustang the best salute the colonel had seen from anyone, ever, spun around and marched to the door.

Roy was about to make some attempt at the paperwork in front of him when that damned voice floated back towards him.

"You do know you are without a doubt the most useless person I have ever met, don't you?"

Unfortunately for Mustang, the door slammed shut before he could get his glove on.

-------

Roy wandered back towards his office after lunch. He'd had a leisurely break, taking full advantage of the fact that Hawkeye was off again. It had been a week since that conversation. His fingers still twitched every time he thought of it.

Now that he was thinking about it though...it suddenly occurred to him that Havocs visits had become almost non-existent. They had been getting pretty sporadic over the last couple of months anyway, but Roy had assumed Havoc had been busy.

Ed couldn't have been right, could he?

No. The very idea was laughable. Edward Elric having a better clue how to act in a relationship than Roy Mustang? Yes. Laughable.

Still, Roy thought he might invite Havoc over for dinner tonight.

-------

Well, it had now been two weeks since The Conversation. Havoc still hadn't been to visit. And to make matters worse, it seemed that every time Roy turned around, Havoc and Ed had their heads together in some corner. They had always gotten along fairly well, but this was ridiculous! What did they think they were up to?

Roy hadn't been able to concentrate on his work all week. He just knew they were up to something, and he was damned if he was going to let them get away with it. Whatever "it" was.

He slammed the door to the main office open, feeling slightly gratified to see the looks of shock on Hawkeye and Fury's faces. He glared around the room before stalking into his own office. He sat down at his desk, drumming his fingers on the wood. He picked up a pen, glared at it, then threw it back down. Well, this wasn't getting anything done.

"Lieutenant!" he bellowed through the door.

"Yes, Colonel?" Hawkeye walked to the door, but stopped just short of it.

"Where is Lieutenant Havoc?"

"I'm not too sure. He said he and Edward had something that needed doing, so they left about two hours ago."

Roy sat and stared at Hawkeye.

"Did he say what?" Roy demanded.

"Just that it was a personal matter. They seemed to be in quite a hurry to get to wherever it was they were going. I didn't like to ask."

Roy must have had a particularly ugly look on his face, because Hawkeye's eyes widened before she spun around and returned to her own desk.

So. Something personal, was it? Personal, between Havoc and Fullmetal. Fullmetal who looked so smug when he said Havoc would find someone better.

Someone better.

Something personal.

Together.

By themselves.

-------

Hawkeye stared after the Colonel, then shook her head as Mustang flew out the office door.

-------

It wasn't til Roy was halfway to Havocs house that he realised he didn't know what in the hell he was doing. What exactly was he going to say? What was he going to do if his suspicions were correct?

I mean, I can't see Havoc going for Fullmetal. He's a boy for pity's sake!

But what if he has?

The thought was like a kick to Roys stomach.

What if he did find someone else?

He slowed to a walk. He didn't know what was going on.

Was he, Roy Mustang, jealous? He didn't get jealous. He didn't get attached enough to people for jealousy. The thought was ridiculous.

It was also bang on the mark.

Unbidden, thoughts of Havoc and Ed entered Roys mind. Havoc kissing Ed. Havoc taking Ed...

Roy picked up his pace. This wasn't a time for introspection. He just had to get to the house, to stop Havoc from doing...well, whatever it was he was doing. Havoc was his, not that little brats. He sprinted up the stairs to the door, shoving it open. Thankfully it was unlocked, otherwise that would really have hurt.

He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the slightly gloomier room, searching for the blonde head, or at least the cloud of smoke that always followed the lieutenant.

"Havoc, where are you?" he tried to go for a manly bellow, but it came out just a bit more frantic than he intended. No answer

"Jean, I'm sorry! I was wrong. I've been being a complete bastard. Jean, please?"

Roy couldn't quite believe he was actually saying please, but he didn't want to lose Havoc. He was willing to do whatever it took to get him to return, to get him to forget Ed and just come back. If it took getting on his hands and knees and begging, so be it.

"Jean!" he started again, when a voice came from behind him.

"Please what?"

Havoc stood behind him, one eyebrow raised, the younger blonde standing next to him with that god damned look on his face.

"I – I mean, that is – I just – dammit, Jean, I'm sorry! I've been a complete asshole, I've been ignoring you when I know I shouldn't do that, and you've got every right to be angry, but please, come back, Ed's just too young for you, and, and.."

Roy took a breath. "And I think I love you."

There. He said it. He'd acted exactly like a girl, and told him. He looked at Havocs feet, not wanting to see his face when he told him to get out, that he had had his chance.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Havoc said around his cigarette. "What the hell has Ed got to do with anything?"

Roy jerked his head up. Havoc had a look of total bewilderment on his face, while Ed was looking decidedly shifty.

Oh, you have got to be shitting me.

Ed smiled, then ran for the door.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow!" the departing braid yelled.

Roy looked at Havoc. Havoc looked at Roy.

"Did you just say you think you love me?"

Roy looked back at the ground. "I – well, that is – I mean..."

Havoc looked at the wretched look on the other mans face, and smiled. He wasn't about to even attempt trying to figure out what exactly had just happened, but whatever the reason for this little outburst, he was happy it had happened.

"It's ok. I know it isn't exactly in your nature to say things like that. Still, I'm glad you're here. It's been too long since we've been able to talk. What with helping Ed with Al's birthday present and all..."

"Al's birthday present." said Roy flatly.

"Yeah, didn't you know..."

"Al's birthday present."

"Yeah...whats the matter, Roy?"

"I'm going to kill him. I mean it. I am going to seriously kill him."

Havoc, despite being completely lost at this point, smiled. He reached forward, brushing the dark hair out of Roys eyes.

"Well, whatever your reason for wanting to kill Ed, I 'm sure it can wait til later. I've got some stuff I'd like to do to you."

Roy looked up at Havoc. Suddenly, getting revenge on that scheming alchemist boy didn't seem so important.