Woah! Did I just skip a month of updating? Something is just sooo wrong with me!

"That party Val Venis threw last week was a major bust," Eddie muttered.

"Yeah, everytime some chick tries to lay a finger on him his angry ex-girlfriends would come out and screw everything up." Rey agreed.

I didn't say anything as I walked along with them to the dorm after crashing the mall that Friday noon. The two Latinos were talking about the party the RRC threw that Monday which is a total bummer. I didn't think it was a big deal anyway—more open parties will be thrown this summer. It was the heat that got them cramped and irritated. Temperature keeps getting higher day by day.

But beside them was my unusually quiet self, oblivious, their continuing conversation sounding dead in my ears.

Two weeks have passed since that Long Beach party happened. We already went home about three in the morning because Eddie had to drive a block more to drop Randy off to RRC. After saying all our slurred goodnights and taking care of the wet laundry was already the beginning of my rude awakening.

While I walked I took a look around. There were still some students hanging around the campus. Most of the SC and RRC population flew back to their own states to spend time with their folks, while the other preferred to stay here, particularly the athletics division. Me, Eddie and Rey decided not to go home because of these reasons:

Our houses were all around California anyway;

It was the requirement for the athletics division to stay for the next summer training;

Because Torrie will be staying. Oh wait, that's my own reason…

No, I should stop myself. Everyday was always thinking of juvenile plans not to see her, and I knew it was wrong. Eddie and Rey didn't even try to lecture me into all my stupidity because they already knew what was going on inside my head. Randy isn't even making contacts either. Which means I'll just have to wallow in my self-pity.

This must be the longest summer ever.

Trying to kill all the noise around me, I hid my face with my hat and closed my eyes, remembering…

The long blonde hair always smelling of spices and flowers. That naturally pretty face suited for any expression. That real personality unfazed. Those light green eyes that were absolutely Torrie.

What I definitely remembered was her smile that she always kept flashing at me, meant for me and only me. That smile she always gave me whenever I'm feeling down. That smile she always gave whatever I did. That beautiful smile…

If I see her right now, it will be too soon.

"Hello John."

My head snapped back up, eyes opening. The three of us stopped walking as the rest of the world went back to its noisy self.

The longed-for voice was standing right in front of me, her blonde hair shiny, her expression as cool as ice cream. She was wearing a plain blue top, a frilly white skirt down to the knees and white slippers, a far cry from my black RUCK FULES graphic tee and my usual denim throwbacks and Reeboks. We stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Um, John? Can I talk to you?" she requested.

Shit, I'm busted bad…

"Okay!" Eddie suddenly hollered. "Me and Rey are just gonna go and hang back at the dorm, all right esses? Later John."

"But Eddie!" Rey objected.

"Come on Rey Rey!" Eddie hissed. "We gotta leave those two alone."

I turned behind me to see Eddie waving at me over his shoulder, dragging a reluctant Rey with him. I know I should be pissed at them for leaving me alone, but I had to thank them later for breaking the tension.

When they were gone, I looked back at Torrie, her eyes down on the pavement, looking equally distracted as I was.

"I should go," I blurted out.

But when I started walking past her, she pulled me back, grabbing a handful of my shirt.

"Could you please not go?" she said nervously. "I want to tell you something. Something important. Please, just hear me out."

Important? Sounds like a mood-turner. So I just shrugged and followed Torrie as soon as she started walking on the concrete walkway, heading to a different direction. Minutes passed.

"We're here," Torrie wheedled.

When I looked up I was in a place I least expected myself to be in—in front of the girls dormitory.

"So…" I began. "Your dorm. Why here?"

"It's like this," Torrie said quietly. "Most of the girls went back home for the summer so this place is almost empty. And I figured that this was the only place where I maybe I can…"

I wondered why she let the sentence dangle. "Where you can…what?"

"Where I can, uh, get you alone?"

I raised my brows. "Girl, I never thought you always wanted me all for yourself."

Torrie smiled bashfully. "Don't flatter yourself. And don't think saying tat will make you zoom me up."

"I don't zoom girls up," I corrected. "I don't even know what that means."

She giggled, looking at me over her shoulder. "Nah, you'll figure it out. Let's go?"

"Go? Where?"

"There's this place that I got to at our backyard and I thought you might be interested."

I nodded. "Okay. Since you interested me so bad."

Torrie giggled again as she walked ahead of me to the direction of the dorm backyard. AS I followed her along the grassy grounds, I started thinking: She was obviously flirting with me. Then I realized I was doing the same thing.

Let's put it this way—she's a flirt, I'm a flirt. Heck, what a pretty song we'll make. Might as well go with the flow.

As soon as I stopped thinking we were already at the girls' dorm backyard, surrounded with some flowerbeds and thick-leaf trees providing shade and lots of air, cooling me a little. Torrie stopped in front of a certain tree, where an old garden swing hung, made for only two people to sit on.

"I like this swing," I found myself saying. "Besides the cracking white paint and them creaking chains, I consider them all a part of its old 50's kind of charm."

"Nobody ever comes here because the other girls want it renovated," Torrie explained, making punctuation marks in the air. "So I always have this swing for myself. And besides it's really airy in here."

"All for yourself, eh? That's pretty cool."

She flashed me a smile before she sat down on the swing, patting a spot next to hers.

"Come sit with me," she offered.

I shrugged again and sat down gratefully, the chains creaking louder. I had to admit it was really comfortable, and really airy that I almost forgot the stupid heat.

After that, there was silence between the two of us. Imagine. We were only chatting for a while and now you could hear a pin drop. I looked at y silver Rolex. 1:00 PM.

"John?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Are you avoiding me?"

I almost fell off the swing. "Say what?"

"Are you avoiding me?" Torrie repeated firmly. "I just want to know why. Because I kept trying to call you but you won't answer. Just tell me."

I swallowed hard. Torrie looked dead serious. And looking like that made me find her difficult to answer. Now I'm busted for real.

"Uh, I'm just in a bad funk right now," I lied. "Been into some serious shit I really can't say what. It's nothing personal."

Torrie didn't look like she bought it. She returned by looking straight ahead, a completely blank expression in her face.

"Did…did I do something?" I asked.

Silence.

Torrie gave me a weak smile. "Oh no, not at all. Actually your answer made me feel a lot better."

She didn't look like she felt better. "Is that the important thing you wanted to tell me? Why did you take me here?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just come here whenever I feel messed up. I just sit down here and think about it."

"What are you thinking about? Cause if it is about a guy…you know. Maybe I could help beating some sense into him."

"I don't think that's necessary."

"Why?"

"Because you're the one I'm thinking about."

This time, I almost literally fell off the swing. I had the feeling of millions of goddamned butterflies fluttering in my insides. Torrie tried not to laugh at my reaction, but I kinda felt sick. In a good way, may I add.

After recomposing myself I took off my hat, raking my thickening brown hair. "I…I don't know what to say."

"You think I would joke about something like that?"

"Kind of, maybe because people around here are such backwater mutants, always trying to hit on somebody just to laugh off and now they are just so hard to trust that's why—''

Torrie suddenly cut me off. With a kiss. And a very long one.

Then suddenly my hands had a life of its own, running on her cheeks, on her neck, her shoulders down to her hip. She yanked my chains and looped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. I opened my mouth wider, and she responded without hesitating.

Torrie obviously had experience, but of all the girls I have kissed, this one felt different. She kissed me, I kissed her back. And it felt good. So good that the rest of my dead self was suddenly brought back to life.

Until my conscience started to nag. This wasn't supposed to happen. My hand found her shoulders as I let go of her gently. For a moment we just looked at each other, faces red and out of breath.

And then came the shocking revelation between pants.

"John Cena, I love you."

After that only one thought was summarized: FUCK. All I could do was just gawk at her.

"I know it's silly," she continued. "I know that what happened between us at Long Beach meant nothing. But after that I couldn't stop thinking of you. You were everywhere in my head, and I really can't deny my feelings for you any longer. But don't think I'm all like your other girls. It's just that…you are just so real, you are your own person. It…it's meant to be."

She looked at me, hopeful. This was certainly no inside joke. If it were I would've shot everybody for bullshitting. Situations like these didn't exist in my handbook. How can Torrie be just so bald under that breath? And if she knew that much about herself, how much more on me?

But I had to make a decision. Either I do it now or I never do it at all. So I sighed laid both of my hands on her arms, looking at her right in the eyes.

"Torrie," I began. "You don't need me, or any other guy to make you feel beautiful and special because you are. Trust me, you're different me from the other girls that I've met. And I just want you to know…that I will always be your boy."

Torrie drew back. "Only a friend, John?"

"That's all I have to give."

Her next reaction came to me unexpectedly; her eyebrows drawn together, her lips into a thin colorless line, and her green eyes were full of tears. She blinked hard to keep them all back, but she didn't look away from me. That time I felt like someone sucked all the air out of me.

"Don't look at me like that," I begged, no matter how humiliating it is.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I can't help it," Torrie insisted in a wobbly voice. "I'm in love with you John."

There was nothing I can do or say, but I certainly made a mess of things. So I just circled my arms around her and embraced her, leaving not an inch of space between our bodies. I heard her sniffling softly on my shoulder, but I just let her, rubbing her back.

When she finally stopped sniffling, I pushed her away from me gently, taking a strand of hair out of her face. But I have to harden my heart.

"Are you gonna be okay?" I asked, trying not to look concerned at all.

Torrie's eyes went doe on her lap. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," I immediately said.

"I know. I just…I just don't want you looking away from me without telling you that."

I ran out of her words, afraid I might just make her feel even more terrible. I placed an arm around her shoulders as she rested my head on my own shoulder, feeling her one last time.

And then a certain memory came back to me—both of us under the sun of the parking lot, Torrie stinking of red wine as I wrapped my jacket around her, the coolness of the common room as I sat down next to her on that soft couch, and the rest of the story happened as she finally let me into her life, the same time I finally let her into my life.

But now it's time to finally shut and bolt the door for good.

That was a flashback.

Believe it or not, the whole thing just happened today. And I know what you're thinking—that I blew it, screwed everything up, and that I'm a big ass piss stain loser. But getting past all that, there is still one thing that I succeeded doing.

I broke Torrie's heart.

Sighing, I took off my heavy chains and my hat, throwing it somewhere on the floor, still lying in bed the whole while. I lost all the mood of changing, which meant I was still wearing the same clothes since this morning, the same shirt that Torrie bawled on about a few hours ago.

The moment rained like rocks all over me. The sight of her face near crying as she hugged me like I was her source of life. And seeing her like that had me the feeling of a much stronger guilt kicking me right in the head. After that I walked her to her dorm, smiling at me the final time as she shut the door in my face without a word, and before I did anything else I ran away from that place like a lunatic—far, far away—swearing that I'll never go back there again. And now, I'm in my room, moping my ass out.

What I definitely couldn't forget was the verge of that unexpected kiss, her strawberry lips still leaving that same sugary taste in my mouth and her intoxicating scent of spring and summer combined clinging onto me. Driving me absolutely crazy. Drawing me more to her.

But I had to end it. And it sucks.

I really, really need to talk to somebody about this.

…

And then a known expert named Randy Orton came to mind. So I sat up from my bed, shuffled across the room, got the cordless phone out of its cradle, and walked back to my bed again. I sat down as I dialed his number, resting my elbows on my knees. Maybe he'll know what to do.

After few several rings, a sound of an answering machine came to the other line.

"Hi, you have reached the palatial suite of Randy Orton. Since you are now hearing this message it's either I'm out with friends or having sex or doing both. So here comes the beep—y'all know what to do."

Then a beep. Why that arrogant little bastard pimp!

"Randy! I know you're in there! Pick up the phone, you piece of shit!" I yelled.

Sure enough, the piece of shit did answer. "Hello? Who is this?"

"Don't you go smarmy with me, you idiot. You know who is this is. What is up with that?"

"Ah Johnny. So you have heard the wrath of my message," Randy said proudly. "You know, I may or may not mean everything that I say in there. Everyone said they love it. I think you're the only one who objected."

"I'm talking about the answering machine, dude."

"Oh, that?" he said casually. "It just so happens that some women who'd love ogling my goodies have now multiplied this summer so I installed it. But still I couldn't attend to all of their needs. After all I am only human. What would be better than being served by such fine ladies?"

I frowned. "Being dead, or anything else."

Randy laughed at my sarcasm, but there was a very loud rustling on the other line. It was really distracting.

"Am I disturbing one of your sack sessions there?" I demanded. "Man, is that what took you so long on answering? Because someone's down there ogling your goodies?"

Randy clicked his tongue. "Bad mental picture, bro. I was just dressing up."

"Hot date?"

"Better. Tonight's the concert of the Stones!"

"Oh…right." I looked at my calendar at my door. First Friday of July, where there was a note written in bold blue ink—BIG ROLLING STONES CONCERT AT 8 PM. How could I have forgotten that?

"Must've slipped my mind, I guess." I mumbled.

"Anyway, you'd never guess what happened to me just this morning."

"Really? What?" As much as Randy and I rarely talk on phone, this was the first time I heard a trace of excitement in his voice. So I sat up straighter, feeling a little excited myself.

"You see, I was just strolling around campus all by myself," Randy narrated. "When I reached the gardens, I saw Stacy talking to Trish and Lita into one of the school's outdoor tables. I couldn't budge as soon as I saw her."

"Oh no." Randy becomes a dumb as a stump as soon as he feels Stacy Keibler walking into his ten-foot diameter.

"Yes, that was the exact thought that I had as soon as I started feeling those awkward sensations inside of me. But I had an epiphany. I took a deep breath, relaxed myself, and walked slowly and calmly towards them where I heard just bits of their conversation. It seems to me that Stacy wants to go the Stones concert and she hated it that it was immediately sold out."

"What happened next?"

"Easy. I greeted them 'Hello ladies!' then they turned around saying 'Hi Randy!' and smiled. Told Stacy the same thing I said to you guys so I can help her and I was like okay, I understand if she didn't want to. She thought about it for a moment, and when she looked up at me, she asked me what time I should pick her up. My jaw totally dropped!"

I was surprised. "For real?"

"I am for real," Randy insisted. "So I snapped out of my hypnosis I began telling her the full details of the show and then she tells me that she is really excited. When I walked away from them, I heard her friends giggling and congratulating her. That sure didn't wipe the smile off my face!"

I smiled. "Wow. I am impressed."

"Man, can you just imagine? I finally got to ask Stacy Keibler out! Although she did say we will go out just as friends, it was really all right for me. Timing never could have been more perfect, because sources tell me tat she dumped that lummox Andrew Martin and I don't want to push things hard because she's just fresh out from a relationship. But still! I finally get to spend time with her!"

"I don't know what you're talking about but I'm glad."

"Well, I don't know why you're being polite but thanks," Randy chortled. "So now after I get dressed I will pick Stacy up from her dorm, swing by the mall to eat dinner at Sam's, and maybe get to the Staples Center an hour early so I could get all our front seat tickets. You?"

"Huh?"

"How are you going to get to the Staples? Because I called up Eddie a while ago and told me Charlie's driving Jackie and that he's taking Dawn, Rey, and RVD with him to save gas and that we'll all meet at the entrance. How about you?"

I thought for a moment. This was the Rolling Stones that we're talking about—probably the biggest one-time concert they'll ever have here. Everyone is sure to be there.

But after that disaster that had happened hours ago…I don't think I could really look at Torrie in the eye after everything that had occurred this afternoon. I could tell I would just make her feel uneasy with me up in the air, and if I don't want to ruin her night, it would mean going to the concert without me.

"Randy, I really don't think I can make it."

"What?" Randy sounded confused. "Why?"

"It's along story. You don't wanna hear it."

Silence.

"Okay, that was weird…" Randy said slowly.

I was confused myself. "What's weird?"

"Torrie actually did call me 10 minutes before you did and told me she couldn't make it either. When I asked why she said the exact same thing—that it was along story and I don't wanna hear it."

I suddenly felt nervous. Maybe Torrie has been blabbing to Randy about what happened. But I don't think it's possible, because Randy really did sound confused. So what I'm saying no appeared to him as a giant question mark

"Have you two been passing notes or something?" Randy asked, a slight edge on his voice. "What's going on, John?"

I sighed. I should just tell him the truth. "Torrie happened."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean? She came up to me, she kissed me, she told me she's in love with me. Happy?"

"Happy?" Randy echoed. "John…that's great!"

"It is?"

"Of course it is!" Randy said joyfully. "Finally! She got into you! So…what did you say to her?"

"I told her I can't," I said firmly.

Randy paused. "You did what?"

"Look! I'm scared all right! That entire hullabaloo you told me at Long Beach was true! I don't wanna hurt her!" I finalized, hoping he'll get it. "You just don't get it, do you?"

"Dude! You just broke her heart!" he objected.

"Don't you think I'm aware of that?" I asked him irritably. "And what do you know about breaking hearts? Oh wait—you already know about that you do it all the time!"

Longer silence. Maybe I've gone a bit too far.

Until Randy broke it, saying something I barely hear from him.

"John, I want to apologize…"

"About what?" I said coolly.

"About everything that I said at Long Beach," Randy answered. "It was trash coming out of my mouth, I swear. All of it."

I nodded as if he was just right in front of me. "Then why did you do it?"

"Because you're allowed to feel what you feel. I'm not like that," he replied. "When I saw you and Torrie together, my failure with Stacy had gotten to me so badly that Monster Jealousy came out and destroyed everything you had. Don't get me wrong: Torrie is a nice girl. It's just that you got it totally bad, dude. When will I ever be like that?"

I didn't say anything, but I get what he's trying to say.

"Now I understand if you totally hate me now, pal," Randy said huskily. "I-I'm sorry I broke you and Torrie up."

More silence.

It got me thinking that this was what have become of Randy ever since he joined Evolution. Becoming manipulative like Hunter himself. Sometimes I want to kick him upside the head and ask him wen will he ever stand up for his own.

But then again, I couldn't blame him. We both have our own lives—I became what everyone calls a thug and he became Mr. Congeniality tied up in the short Evolution leash, a toy for them to make someone's life a living hell. And no matter how many I-told-you-so's I kept throwing at him, he is still my best friend. We know each other better more than anybody else does. And even if it all goes down to a trip to hell, nothing would ever change the tough love that associated us.

So I decided to cut him some slack, cause he owes a lot to me.

"Randy, it wasn't your fault. It was my decision and I really—''

"John, you don't have to lie. You can't even lie," Randy interrupted. "If it wasn't for you trying to will me on to Stacy I wouldn't even be talking to you right now. Trust me on this—losing something because you're afraid of having it is worse than having it then losing it. That's where all lovers go."

I couldn't help but smirk. Randy really does care, after all. I felt kinda touched, that under that arrogant SOB was still the sensitive dork that I've known for years.

"I admit I'm a fucking jerk, but you know I'm still me!" Randy explained. "Come on, man. I'm worried about you. You've been like a brother to me. And I'm trying to make it right."

"Well…what do you think is right?" I finally asked.

Randy snickered. "Forget it, dude. That is for you to answer. It's your head and your chest, not mine. Just do what you think is right for you, and I swear I won't bug you again."

"Aight. I'm down with that."

There was silence again, but this time it was a silent understanding.

"Okay, since we're already good…" I said, breaking the silence. "I'm happy that you finally hit it off with Stacy, and I'm sure both of you will have a great time with the others."

"And you'll be missed," Randy told me. "But I'm not gonna force you. Have a good night yourself, whatever it is you're or will be doing."

"Okay. Oh, and Randy?"

"Yeah?"

I grinned. "Thanks a lot for listening."

And somehow, I could just feel him smiling too. "Anytime."

The line went dead. Randy had hung up. After I clicked my phone off, I set it down my unmade bed, and than I stood up abruptly.

I have to see Torrie. And if I would be given a second chance, I won't blow it this time.

Forgetting my chains and my hat, and forgetting to close the door, I immediately went out the lobby and decided to take the fire exit stairs just to be quicker. I ran down the metal stairs, taking them two at a time.

Yes, I will see Torrie and I will tell her what I really feel. I an see it right now—she was waiting for me at her dorm porch, and when I'm finally in front of her, she will look up and smile that beautiful smile of hers, then she will kiss me and I will hold her and I will never let go…

I felt my cheeks heat up. That was only my fantasies running wild. Maybe reality could give a better one. If anything happens, there may still be time to meet Randy and the others and go to the Stones concert and have fun all night. And maybe…a chance to pick up where we both left off.

The blow to my chest came, but I consider it all a good omen.

But as I went down and down and down the stairs, what I saw next nearly scared me to death.

"Oh, motherfucker!"

(t.b.c)

Okay, peeps...if you're ready to throw rocks, please do so. But please don't forget to read and review!