Disclaimer: None of the characters or settings in this story are mine. The powers that be haven't given me permission to play with their characters yet, sadly.

Spoliers: "Play With Fire" Season 3

Setting: Current day…sometime during the 5th season after "Firestarter."

Grissom's Clarity

The lights from the squad cars were intense as they shone onto the crime scene. The black sky was punctuated by millions of stars as Grissom and Sara crouched next to a decomposing body. The light breeze dropped the temperature in the desert so much that many of the officers on hand were sitting in their cruisers, sipping on their coffee.

"Looks like a gunshot wound to the back, between the shoulder blades," Sara said, pointing her flashlight at the bloody wound.

"Hmm." Grissom mumbled absently.

Sara wondered at Grissom's lack of enthusiasm. He was distant, staring at a point far on the horizon, distracted. Frowning, she refocused on the body.

"There's no wallet, no money, no keys. I'd say this is robbery that went south." She continued and when she was greeted by more silence she laid a hand on his back. "Grissom?"

Grissom snapped his head around and fixed his gaze on her. His bright blue eyes bore into her and she had to fight the shudder that threatened to shake her whole body.

He darted a glance at her outstretched arm, before returning his eyes to her face. "I have to go. I'm going to ask David to drive you back to the lab. I'm sure you can take care of the evidence collection…you seem to have a handle on the case."

Sara dropped her hand from his back. "I don't understand. Where are you going?"

He wouldn't look at her, wouldn't answer her question. "I can't do this anymore." He whispered.

Without a word of explanation he strode off to the Denali. She stood and called after him, but he ignored her. Only stopping long enough to say something to David who had just arrived. And just like that, he was speeding away into the Vegas night.

"What the hell?" Sara asked herself as David made his way to her.

Grissom sat in the last car of the New York, New York rollercoaster and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Rollercoasters had always been able to help him think, help him sort out whatever he was feeling, but tonight he received no peace of mind, no clarity from the rumbling hulk of steel. He had ridden the rollercoaster four times already and he was nowhere near resolving his dilemma.

Sara Sidle had always been either on his mind or in his self-conscious, whispering to him to let go. Let go of all his inhibitions and just be, and as much as he desired to do just that, he knew that he never could. Until tonight.

The crime scene hadn't been any different than most of the crime scenes that the CSI division had seen. In fact nothing about tonight had been any different, except that somewhere along the line Grissom had come to the conclusion that he wanted Sara. He wanted her no matter what it cost him. It scared him to death to know that he would risk everything he had just to be with her, even for a fleeting moment. So his instinct kicked in. He ran. He left her at the crime scene and came to the one place that always made sense to him. The one place that didn't demand an answer, didn't get mad if he was silent. But tonight that place didn't offer what it used to and he finally understood why.

Sara wasn't with him.

It made him uncomfortable to know that he could never enjoy something like riding roller coasters again unless Sara was sitting in the seat next to him. He'd always been alone, always been self-sustaining, until now.

He'd been running for so long, running from commitment, running from his feelings. He just wanted to stop. But he was terrified that if he did stop he would never get going again.

Did he really want to start running again? He asked himself that question repeatedly as heambled back to the parking lot and his Mercedes. As he sat behind the steering wheel looking out at the bright, blinking lights of the city, he finally understood.

Starting theblack Mercedes up, he pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to work.

Sara sat in the layout room, softly singing to herself as she looked over crime scene photographs.

"I've got a crummy job
It don't pay near enough
To buy the things it takes
To win me some of your love
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe I am crazy too"

She didn't notice Grissom come into the layout room. She was too engrossed in the photos and the song she was singing.

"'Soak up the Sun' by Cheryl Crow. Nice rendition." he commented.

She smiled to herself before turning around. "Where did you run off to earlier?"

He thought about that for a moment. Should he tell her the truth? "New York."

She looked confused for a moment, before realization dawned on her. "Oh, roller coaster therapy."

"An attempt to find some clarity." Grissom added.

"Did you find it?" she asked as she started gathering her photographs.

"I think so." Grissom replied.

Sara was silent as she put the glossy photos back in the file folder. She almost didn't hear what he said next.

"I need you Sara." Grissom whispered.

"Excuse me?"

Grissom could feel his panic rising as she stared at him, waiting for him to clarify. It was now or never. He had been going over and over how he would ask her, what he would say. His palms were sweaty as he looked up at her.

"Sara…will you…have dinner with me…tonight?" he waited as Sara's features broke into a wide grin.

Surprised, all she could do was stare at him.

Grissom squirmed and looked unsure of himself as people hurried back and forth in the hallway outside.

Sara snapped out of her deer in the headlights stare. "Uh…sorry. I wasn't expecting that."

"I know Sara. I'm sorry for that." he said as he flipped his phone open and closed.

Sara enjoyed his discomfort. Now maybe he would understand how she had felt when she stood before him asking the same question almost two years ago.

"I'd like that Grissom. Do you want to meet somewhere or…" Sara asked.

"I'll pick you up."

"Okay. What time?"

"Seven?"

"Seven it is."

Sara's smile reached from ear to ear as she followed Grissom out of the layout room and into the hallway. If people noticed her smile that wouldn't fade, nobody said anything.

She hummed to herself on the way to ballistics. Now her only question was what to wear.

A/N: A huge thanks to my awesome beta, Danie.

Please review if you read. I'd like to know if you enjoyed it or not.