A Weiß Mary Sue
Written by Sakki
We hate QuickEdit. Yes we do. All 'non-language relevant keyboard characters' will now be put in parentheses with an exclamation point at the end.
(SPACING!)
It was sitting there innocuously, almost happily. Aya watched it carefully. At any moment, it could jump up and deliver his fate to him like Ken presented with the chance to get front-row seats at the World Cup. It didn't move from its place on the desk, watching him just as carefully as he watched it, glinting in the light satanically. No matter where he moved in the shop, it was following him. Like those portraits that you swore were always looking at you no matter where you moved.
It's a telephone, said his subconscious. Just a red telephone.
A satanic red telephone, countered his consciousness.
"Um…Aya-kun?" said a sweet voice. He jumped and turned to face the glittering pink-and-blue mirage that was Mary Sue. A scowl appeared automatically on his face.
"What?"
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." He turned away and went back to sweeping and plotting. Unfortunately, she stayed.
"Aya-kun, you're sweeping a cat."
"Huh?" Aya looked down to see a rather disgruntled calico sitting under his broom. "Oh." He pulled the broom away. The cat stood, walked over to the door of the flower shop, sat down, and began to clean itself vigorously.
I didn't know we had a cat, he thought.
"What a cute kitty," sighed Mary Sue. Then she turned her attention to Aya again. "Yohji-kun, Ken-kun and Omi-kun went shopping for groceries, and they'll be back later. So that leaves just us with the shop for now."
"Mm."
"Aya-kun, I want to talk."
"Mm."
Mary Sue looked down and scuffed one pink-sneaker-clad foot.
"Aya-kun…you've been very…angry lately. More so than usual."
You would know what I am usually like, as you have been here for less than two weeks, thought Aya.
"And you've been disappearing a lot…and…a few days ago, I saw…" Mary Sue frowned, her perfect face looking adorably pouty. "I saw…well…nevermind. The thing is, Aya-kun, are you sure you're feeling all right?"
"I'm fine," said Aya icily, sweeping a pile of dirt into a wall.
"I don't believe you!" said Mary Sue suddenly. Aya jumped slightly, not expecting such a loud outburst from her. "You're hiding things from me, I know you are! Why won't you tell me anything? I just want to help you!!" Tears filled her eyes, glittering like little opals before two shimmering sapphires. "You never let me help you!! You're so mean, Aya-kun!!!"
And with that, Mary Sue turned and ran crying into the back room.
Aya watched her go, blinking a few times. That was the most unhappy emotion she'd ever shown at one time, at least in front of him. While he was relieved that she'd left, he felt a pang of guilt for making her so upset. He had the urge to follow her into the back room and wrap his arms around her, comfort her and say he was sorry…
Augh! No! He couldn't submit! He wouldn't submit! She wouldn't use him for a little plaything! Aya shook his head vigorously and smacked himself a few times. You're asexual, you're asexual, you're asexual, you're –
Something rubbed against his legs. He looked down and saw the calico from before, sitting on his foot and looking up at him.
"…Hi," he said.
The cat meowed and walked off his foot. It got to the door and turned around to look at him. He looked at it. It meowed again and walked out the door.
Aya couldn't understand cats, but he had the feeling that this one wanted him to follow it. Where it would lead him, he didn't know; most likely it would be into a trap set by enemies of Weiss.
He hadn't expected to find himself two blocks away from the shop in an alley with a familiar white-suited figure.
"I see you're insane," Crawford said dryly. Aya glowered as the man bent down and picked up the cat.
"What does that mean?"
"Well," said Crawford, petting the purring calico, "under normal circumstances, if a cat came up to you and meowed, would you follow it?"
"No…"
"So why did you follow this one?"
Aya gave him no response.
"I'm glad you did, actually. Seven is rather unintelligent, but he was the only method I could use to get you here."
"Seven?"
"His name." Crawford hefted the cat up on to one of his shoulders. Aya watched as it balanced precariously but happily.
"…He's not stupid. He led me here."
"That's about the extent of his training. Maybe if he'd gone to school a little longer, he'd know more, and possibly how to speak."
"He's a cat."
"No, he's a human who looks like a cat."
Aya stared at Crawford and the cat. Crawford and the cat stared back.
"You're the insane one," he said, after much deliberation.
"Say what you will. However, I do have a reason for having you come here."
"What is it?"
"An attack."
(SPACING!)
Mary Sue sniffled and wiped her eyes with a tissue. She was sitting in a corner of her room, knees pulled up to her chest, hair unkempt and makeup running. She'd been crying for a few minutes now, waiting for someone to come and comfort her, but nobody had yet.
She hadn't meant to be so mean to Aya-kun, or so loud. But he'd just been so stubborn, so…so insistent! He wouldn't tell her anything! He wouldn't share his problems with her, or tell her how he was really feeling, or even vehemently deny that anything was wrong and thus prove that she was right in her guesses! How on earth could he not be straight?!
Again she unleashed a sob of unhappiness into her tissue. The most horrible thing she'd ever seen…Aya-kun, kissing another man! It was unthinkable! How could anybody seduce Aya-kun so easily? She hadn't even gotten a chance to really kiss him yet! The only way this could have been possible is if it was a rapist.
Her tears suddenly stopped.
A rapist…?
"OMIGOD!!!" she screamed, leaping off the ground and clutching her tissue to her heart. So that was why Aya-kun refused to tell her anything! He was afraid to tell her!! Somebody – that horrible man – had raped him or was assaulting him and was threatening him with terrible things if he told and so Aya-kun was just pretending that everything was ok when really on the inside he was screaming for help and he needed her to come and save him from the evil horrible mean cruel terrible rapist man and then he'd cry on her shoulder and everything would be better again and then he'd finally tell her all his problems and let her in on all his secrets and they'd kiss and be happy and get married and live happily ever after in a little white house, ok maybe not get married but at least be great friends and live in the same neighborhood with cute little fluffy white puppy dogs and suddenly she heard the door to the front shop ring and she was about to go see who was there when she heard it ring again and then there were two voices and one was Aya-kun's and the other she didn't know and OMIGOD IT WAS THE RAPIST!!!!!11!!1!one
She stood in the corner of her room silently. She heard the footsteps go up the stairs, down the halls and into a room. She was about to dash out and corner the two, beat off the rapist and save Aya-kun so he'd love her forever when she heard the voices again.
"Are you sure you want to do it in here? Why not your room?"
"Because I don't ever want you in my room, thankyouverymuch."
Mary Sue gaped. The first voice sounded…familiar? No, that couldn't be right. She couldn't place anybody she knew with a deep voice like that. But that wasn't the point. She could hear the two arguing, but it seemed like…Aya-kun was…willing. No, that couldn't be right! Aya-kun was straight, and Mary Sue knew it!(ASTERISK!)
Once she stopped hearing voices and footsteps, Mary Sue tiptoed over to her door and opened it just a little. She looked around in the hall for any signs of people.
There was nothing but the cute furry calico from before. It looked at her and made a strange noise like a cross between a meow and a dying bird.
"Shhh," she said to it, winking cheerfully. Then she was all super-l33t-stealth-assassin mode, sneaking down the hallway in absolute silence.
As she approached the doorway to the room she could smell other people in, she heard whispering. Angry, heated whispering. Then there was silence. Mary Sue didn't like the way that had gone, so she approached the door and pushed it open. She was ready to pounce, ready to kick ass, ready to BEAT SOME RAPIST INTO THE GROUND, BAY-BEE!!
What she saw was not what she expected.
Aya-kun was being kissed – romantically kissed – by the same man as before, but this time Mary Sue had the sense to take a good look at this other man.
It was no rapist.
It
Was
Crawford.
Her jaw dropped.
He had his arms wrapped around Aya's waist, and Aya's arms were wrapped around Crawford's shoulders. There was no space in between the two of them. They were kissing. They were twining. They were…groping.
"Omigod."
Mary Sue turned around calmly and walked a few steps before breaking into a full-out sprint and dashing out of the store.
Crawford, meanwhile, broke off the kiss and slowly released Aya, who slid down the wall and hit the floor.
For a moment, he watched the silent redhead with an unclear expression; then he left the room and shortly after, the store.
He didn't see Aya bury his face in his hands, didn't hear the one-word question left hanging in the air.
"…why…"
(SPACING!)
So. Hate it? Love it? Wish it would spontaneously combust? Either way imma keep writing it. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA. Ha. ha. ..
ASTERISK! - …heheh…HA HA HA HA HA. Oh man. That's good. Hah ha...yeah right. Straight…ha ha ha.