A Weiß Mary Sue
Written by Sakki
REAFFIRMATION OF UNOWNAGE: None of this is mine. You hear me? NONE OF IT! NONE!1
.-.-
At approximately the same time that Aya was fast asleep less than a foot away from Crawford, goings-on were going on in the basement of the flower shop.
"Oh, Will, never leave me again!" said the voluptuous young woman on the T.V. screen.
"I never will, Elisabeth!" answered the dashingly handsome young man as he reached for her.
"Oh, Will!"
The two embraced and kissed passionately, and on the couch Mary Sue burst into sparkling, diamond-like tears.
"It's so romantic!" she said, wiping her delicate face with her thin white-with-pink-embroidery handkerchief. "Oh, I wish I could have a romance like that!"
"You can, Mary Sue. You can...with me."
"Oh, that's sweet, Yohji-kun, but we haven't gone through all those unexpected trials and tribulations and other terrible things that would only strengthen our love for each other in the end. And you don't want to hurt, do you? I know I don't...unless it's for love...or duty."
Omi unconsciously thumped his chest, drawing a strange look from Ken, but this motion went ignored otherwise.
"I can provide the love part, you know."
"Oh, that's okay...I'll be fine for now. These movies are enough for me." She sniffled one more time before stuffing her handkerchief back into her pocket and returning to staring avidly at the screen.
Ken stared at the screen as well, completely incapable of understanding anything the characters said, as his English rather sucked ass. Omi could get parts of it, but this was a rather recently-released American movie and contained more slang than he'd care to know. Besides, he didn't like romantic comedies.
Yohji, on the other hand, while understanding practically no English at all, seemed utterly drawn into the plot. This was either because Mary Sue was explaining the plot to him every so often or because he was sitting next to her with one arm around her shoulders and any movement would dislodge his compromising position. Either way, he was the only male in the room truly enjoying the movie. Seven was the only one to seriously display his dislike, which he did by throwing up in the corner.
"Oh, I love this part!" Mary Sue said suddenly, leaning forward and causing Yohji's arm to slip down the back of the couch. He grimaced at this before realizing that now his hand was in an even more compromising position, and returned to watching the movie with his darling.
"What part is it?" asked Omi.
"It's the part where Elisabeth and Will pretend to hate each other and have a huge fake fight scene in front of Mary, and then she goes to comfort Will, and he says he'll take her out on a date, and when she gets to the restaurant later that night she winds up agreeing to a date with Jack - Jack, the ugly nerdy kid who nobody likes!" She burst into crystalline laughter at the very thought of such a scene. Yohji snickered with a pointed look at Omi, who gave him a rather mean glare in return. Ken didn't even crack a smile. He thought the whole idea was rather...stupid. Things like that didn't happen in real life.
Did they?
No, said Seven, cleaning the back of one paw delicately, they don't.
.-.-
At approximately 7.30 the following morning, Aya opened his eyes for the fifth and final time.
Crawford was right there, right next to him, in the same bed as him, under the same sheets as him, breathing the same air as him. Inside his personal space. Blatantly violating the three-foot rule.
At least, Aya noted with a vague hint of relief, he was lying peacefully on his back and not facing him. That would be too creepy, even for Aya. Of course, it'd be just as creepy to have his back to him. The perfect opportunity to end 74 of his troubles and no weapon available except his own fingernails...
As it was, things were generally acceptable.
After some deliberation, Aya quietly rolled over and sat up on the edge of the bed. He was still mostly clothed, much to his satisfaction, and the bathroom appeared unoccupied.
Well, it was morning, and he was feeling better.
Somewhat unsteadily, Aya got to his feet and headed into the bathroom. It was white and empty, just like the rest of the apartment, equipped with only the bare minimum needed to survive.
There were, however, two towels.
Fuming inside, Aya grabbed the obviously unused one and shut the door.
He was out and clean within ten minutes. With the towel still wrapped around his waist, he grabbed his underclothes from the floor and opened the door just a crack. It looked like Crawford was still asleep, giving him the chance to dash out and grab his clothes from yesterday, but as he set one foot on the carpet, he nearly slipped and smashed open his skull on the semi-marble tiles.
Looking down, he saw a previously neatly piled set of clothing sitting innocuously on the floor.
Another glance at Crawford reaffirmed the fact that he certainly looked asleep.
The abused vein on Aya's forehead pulsed weakly.
He snatched up the pile from the floor and shut the bathroom door again. He didn't think Crawford was awake, but if he'd gotten up and left this pile in the last ten minutes, then Aya wasn't going to take any chances with changing.
The clothes were a white shirt and black slacks. They were a little too big for him, but that didn't particularly matter - they were clothes, they were clean, and they would allow him to go home without looking like he'd spent the night in a stupor and had collapsed under a bench somewhere until morning.
He paused.
Wait a minute...
"Are you done in there?" Crawford said, suddenly right outside the door. Aya nearly cut himself on the button he was doing up.
"Yes."
The door opened and Crawford, still shirtless and without his glasses, looked Aya up and down. Aya bristled.
"Those look good on you."
"I'm returning them as soon as I get back to the shop," he snapped, giving up on the top two buttons. "Don't expect me to keep them as a souvenir."
"Of course not." Crawford stood to one side as Aya stalked out and picked up the last of his clothes. "Can I expect to see you around noon, then?"
"I'd rather not."
"Shame. I'll give you a call when you're ready to make the next move."
With that, Crawford shut the bathroom door, and Aya folded his clothes over one arm and left the apartment.
Only when he'd shut the door behind him did he realize what Crawford had actually said.
"...you really deserve to die," he muttered, confusing the boy in the next apartment over who'd been shooing moths out a nearby window.
.-.-
"OHMIGODOHMIGODOHMIGOD!1 What do you MEAN Aya-kun never came home last night!"
"Well, I checked his bedroom, and he's not there...and I didn't hear him come in at any point last night. And we were up kind of late."
"Ohmigod, this is TERRIBLE! How could I have let this happen? Oh, Aya-kun, I'm so sorry!"
"Don't apologize, Mary Sue. He probably just went out to visit his sister and decided to spend the night at the hospital."
"But...but wouldn't he call if he was going to do that?"
"No."
"No..."
"Nope. Never does. Took us forever to figure out where he was going some nights."
"Well...I'm sure he'd tell me...or at least leave us a note or SOMEthing."
"No, sorry. It's just not his style."
"But...why would he do that?"
"Hey, don't worry. I'm sure he's fine, Mary Sue."
"Worst case scenario is that he's passed out under some park bench somewhere after a night of binge drinking."
"Yohji, that's what you'd do."
"Hey now, don't be jealous that I'm just that great."
"Yohji...!"
"Oh, Yohji-kun...I don't think he'd do that, but if you're sure."
"We could always go looking for him again."
"Again? When was that, Ken?"
"Remember? It was a while ago, and we..."
"...we what?"
"Well, I...can't really remember."
"It's settled, then. We stay here!"
"You're so silly, Yohji-kun."
"But I'm also awesome."
"Don't listen to him, Mary Sue-chan. He's all ego."
"Oh, you're so cute, Omi-kun!"
"N-no I'm not, Mary Sue-chan..."
"Yes you are!"
"...I swear we were, though..."
So. Hate it? Love it? Wish it would spontaneously combust? Either way imma keep writing it. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA. Ha. ha. ..